Bobby and Andrew Take Down Wall Street | Ep 50 | Bad Friends
you two are bad friends who are these. two idiots a white dude and an Asian. dude you two are. disgusting you two or something we're. bad friends yummy Koreans came up to me. and said what dude bad friends Bobby Lee. is like my idol man I'm a leader of. trust me I know she doesn't respect me. right disgusting but what I wanted to re. tell you right now is I'm a leader of RP. recogniz all right recognized all right. and if there was a war God bless it be.
bless God bless not happen God bless be. not happen right you would be in big. trouble right I'm got to tell you. another thing young lady tell you're. this is you're not going to believe this. this is against you you're not going to. believe this you're not going to believe. so we get in the car right to drive here. today and she goes Bobby I go what she. goes if Andrew not wearing a mask right. I'm going to say something I was wearing. a mask I understand that I understand. that and lucky you were because right. yeah yeah yeah she go I go what are you. going to do she go iy I had a enough I.
have a enough you have enough I have I. had a enough you have it up here I I'm. going to comont he goes I'm going to. confront him you're going to confront me. you're going to you're going to confront. Andrew she yeah he better be wearing. mask or I confront you know oh yeah do. it now I yeah you did yeah you did I did. why don't you confront me right now. comont do the confront come on come me. right now I didn't say that okay so if. you wasn't wearing a mask right you. weren't going to say say anything cuz.
you promised the lady no I would wait. for you to say. it what what you coward coward oh yeah. coward coward I would wait for you to. say it yeah and that's why the Japanese. took over their Island right I wait I. wait for the us to help us you're weak. you you couldn't even confront me right. now it's unbelievable what she says. around the house you know what I mean. like I'm going to get here I'm going to. say something what yeah yeah and it's. and it's like what yeah it's a lot.
of dude I'm so mad at you yeah I know I. know and you know what to to think that. I brought you a gift today oh my God to. think I I brought you a gift oh another. knife look at this yeah yeah yeah look. at the size of this thing that's a nice. one yeah you want to play with it is it. real yeah it's real will I cut myself. yeah oh my God it's sharp it's real dud. this is a knife knife yeah yeah let's. see no don't want to well this is a nice. table yeah go Rudy and you know what but.
you know what can I tell you something. yeah you don't get to keep it I didn't. say no you know what you know what B I'm. not going to give that to her she. doesn't get that knife you know what. Rudy she doesn't get anything from now. on here yeah yeah this one you get that. one what is that it's another knife okay. get her that one you get a little baby. knife baby knife there you go you can. have both I love you here here take both. take both you freak yeah psycho but she. says all this stuff and it's like you. know I go one day why don't you just say. something and she's like and she's.
always like I will one day I comont him. so you're finally going to confront me. Rudy did you get any AMC stock or. GameStop stock no you do you know what. I'm talking about yeah yeah did you no. but K how much how many she didn't buy. like five grand she want five grand. worth worth yeah no of I don't know what. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah she put in. $5,000 but there's weeks ago but stocks. are only worth a couple hundred now. right a piece yeah yeah what is it at. right now what's GameStop at right now.
well this morning was at 3:25 wow yeah I. think it's so cool what they're doing I. am but bury them yeah all these hedge. fund people have been making so much. money and they don't do anything I'm on. their side why what you're on like rich. I like Richies I like rich but but you. like don't don't you like rich people. that get rich from doing something cool. or talented these people didn't do. anything Co I know I just feel like they. they they they know these loopholes and. little things that they do right to make.
money cool and and what I what's [ __ ]. up about it is and then you know the. common man like us right we find out. about it right yeah and then they try to. [ __ ] us they did they did they are. [ __ ] us they're stopping every you. know George bought a lot what did he buy. he bought you bought GameStop and AMC uh. I'm getting AMC this afternoon I bought. GameStop there oh are you gonna buy any. I'm thinking about it but then I'm like. I I lose I feel like I'm I feel like. we're I'm behind this is you know what. this looks this like you and me go to. the casin if if you and me went to the.
casino in Vegas we'd lose 100 Grand well. i' I've done it that's what I'm saying I. don't win at those things I don't I'm a. loser gambling doesn't work for us no I. could get like um like Blackjack right I. could get two two [ __ ] Kings King. King King King and still lose Ace King. yeah yeah he wins every time every time. every single time yeah no I can't I. gambling is for me gambling is um I'll. do it for fun yeah but I'm not I don't. think about I'm GNA win money yeah. that's G they're full-time gambling. Andreas no for you right yeah I I always.
have a inside information actually do. you guys want to know how much uh can. you guess how much on ground work that. people don't know about that you Andrew. and I can buy in this is going to be a. new segment called Andre is on the. ground yeah yeah Andre on the ground. Finance advice Finance advise already. that's Finance ad not convinced I'm not. convinced he's I just saw Matador in my. head pull Finance. advice Andreas a finance advice do you. need advice but instead of a m like a. little.
[Laughter]. Bulldog yeah by the way what an. appropriate metaphor for the bull for. Wall Street running past a little a. little meme of of Andre the bull of Wall. Street running through a red and him. going Andre s Finance. advice what is it what is it what's your. advice Bobby would you buy a Chipotle. stock or would you go with something. like Mna oh he's saying what's more. popular oh if we were gambling right now. okay I see what he. or Chipotle M's medical yeah they're.
pharmaceutical compan m is the one who's. coming out with the vaccine yeah they're. making the yeah um I would go with. Chipotle I think I'd also go with. Chipotle because mad I feel like madna. goes up and down all the time Chipotle. is probably on a steady rise yeah how. much do you think is worth I would say. Chipotle stock is worth3 or $400. $360 and what about Mna madna is up in. the thousands I bet probably like 12 to. 1500 well now that laugh though so. condescending it's so condescending and.
so gross could you imagine doing that to. a client what a piece of [ __ ] I come. into his office and he's like you're. here for finance advice yeah plus he has. the internet in front of him yeah I know. he looking at at the internet going and. me and my husband me and my husband. Bobby we walk into your office and and I. say you know we've never done this. before and Bob's interested and getting. in the market right that's why you guys. are here thank you for coming you guys. thank you for having us but we were just. curious we're looking to spend a little. bit of money and we think maybe in. chipot is that how much is chipot we.
thinking Chipotle we love the restaurant. we go there every Friday after my after. work and what I get is I get a a burrito. yeah a bur yeah a little burrito and I. get a burrito bowl cuz I'm watching my. cows exactly and I you know for me you. know I like the cows Friday night's my. uh my uh Cal night that's when he lets. loose yeah so how much is your pole. stock. $11,200 oh holy. [ __ ] little bit of Rich for our blood. how much is madna madna.
$173 wow maybe we should buy madna madna. yeah yeah but what a $1,200 for Chipotle. yeah you know my girlfriend in high. school but her wait her this is crazy my. girlfriend in high school when. McDonald's used to own Chipotle her. family someone in her family worked at. Chipotle and they had the unlimited card. do you ever seen the the platinum card. or whatever George pull up the card it's. like the unlimited burrito card back. when McDonald's used to own them they. they' give you these cards lifetime. burrito cards as many as you want for.
the rest of your life a lifetime burrito. card and we would go and friends could. use it unlimited no there was no limit. count that's it yeah a lifetime of. burritos yeah I I don't eat there did. you hear the Spain did you hear the. Spain he goes wow I know I know do you. eat there no no no no I don't eat there. in high school I ate it all the time. yeah because how you you eat there don't. you eat Chipotle I tried it twice you. don't like it I like it.
what what's your favorite Mexican food. restaurant. restaurant terries oh terries yeah you. go to Terry's I mean I like it yeah it's. good I love it I go to I go to um this. place called el mitoan oh I love el el. mitoan so good and she goes like that. she goes whenever she sees me she goes. hey I go hi and she goes do you want the. same thing a I love when they do that I. know I love cuz when I we go to teres. they all love me they yell from the back. hey B yeah yeah it's the best and they.
they always give me extra guacamole oh. dude I get extra everything you see cuz. they use like little ice cream scooper. yeah right so I get two scoops you it's. the best yeah isn't that so nice they. don't give her extra they don't nothing. cuz you don't deserve it no and you. laugh but you don't deserve it yeah you. laugh and you don't deserve but you know. what also I love is any Mexican place. that has the carrot thing the Pickled. carrot oh my God I love those are the. best the best everyone should have that. why don't more restaurants do that well. because I think they take time to pick. they do they that's that's homemade. Mexican that's real Mexican food if you.
don't have a salsa bar I'm not going at. not going yeah I'm not going I love like. the different kinds the you got to have. the green salsa you got to have the. green one and you have the chunko chunk. chunko the chunko salce the G and then. you got to have the brown which is. usually a Chipotle is or or a um the. bright red bright red is what I like is. what I like yeah yeah yeah I like it's. like something out of Satan's [ __ ]. you know what I mean yeah and it gets. you moving Papa it really does yeah I. like the I like a bar yeah need a I need.
a salsa and condiments bar I don't like. salad bars though well they're. disgusting yeah it's like you know um do. people not know how to use sunflower. seeds it's like somebody takes the. sunflow and just goes [ __ ] it right you. just scoop it I'm going to put on myself. no I'm going to put it everywhere [ __ ]. it right and then it's like um listen. all right name it one thing Russian. dressing Thousand Island pick pick one. pick because I don't want to [ __ ] get. confused here your baby yeah yeah pick.
one yeah and by the way yeah didn't we. [ __ ] off the Russians years ago okay I. don't want to [ __ ]. Russians yeah [ __ ] the Russians man. we're calling it thousand island now on. because thousand island sounds cool it's. a thousand island but it is they are. different they're very different yeah. they're very different they have. different ingredients what's a. difference what's the difference Russian. dressing H uh Thousand Island I think. has um uh uh not is it relish that's. it's like something green in it what is. the difference one of. well don't say that you know and there.
is a difference and then go into an. explanation where you it tastes. different I don't know what it is there. is a difference in terms of ingredient. no I think the ingredients are almost. the exact same there's one thing that. element that's different I'm saying it's. like I think it's relish yeah no I think. it's like a Mayo or something difference. between Russian dressing and thousand. island dressing the main difference of. two is the use of pickles that's what it. is right that's what I said that's what. I said relish pickles same thing giving. it more sweetness and texture that's. right I was right so what that was. correct what is it the thousand island. has the pickles. Thousand Island the main difference is.
that thousand island dressing has. pickles uh little baby pickle chunks. little pickle chunk oh that's right they. do have you know what I'm fine with that. [ __ ] Russian dressing get out of here we. I I want little pickle chunks yeah did. you guys have a a buffet bar when you. were a kid like is what do you mean we. used to have a place called HomeTown. Buffet I don't even know if they exist. anymore yeah we had money we didn't go. there no really we. did my my dad would like flick it off. when we would draw by [ __ ] are you right. homeown really you guys were that hat it.
hated it you were fancy like that I mean. when I was in high school we um we had. money really yeah so you never went to. something like that we go to Morton's is. that like HomeTown Buffet damn you're. rich little [ __ ] no we would go to. likees or something you know what I mean. really what do you mean you didn't go. you guys never went to a shitty Family. Restaurant like a Korean ones maybe. right those are cheap and shitty what. yeah I'm saying mom and pop ones those.
are cheap restaurants you're not those. aren't F good it was just like hole in. the walls but we would go to that's what. I'm saying it wasn't it wasn't pricey. it's not a [ __ ] chain Buffet like. Hometown you liked it we didn't go as. like a family but I would go with. friends in high school the worst was you. know when I used to so when I was a. younger comic when I had to play Vegas. yeah you'd have to play something like. Hara don't even the basement you're. talking about the basement yeah right so. it's like oh my God first of all you. have to do if anyone doesn't know you. have to do eight nights of a. yeah so you do you stay there from.
Monday to the following Sunday night. right it's dis and you have to do two or. three shows a night yep right and it's. like you get and at least for me at the. time it was like for two shows I would. get maybe $100 or $50 yeah I think it's. the same now yeah probably the same now. right so at the end of the week you're. making like 800 bucks or a th000 maybe. maybe maybe right but also you're like. they give you the hotel but you're also. everything you have to pay for. everything yeah yeah so it's not so when.
you say they give you 800 900 bucks. you're losing $500 yeah cuz there. nothing to do so you're gambling the. money away right you're sitting around. you're eating you're gambling you're. drinking but their their ascentive is. that they go well well the great news is. um we're going to give you a little um. employee um ID card saddest thing on. planet Earth what is it well you know. all the employees at the casino we eat. there's a you know a a lounge call it. call it what it is what is a dungeon. it's a dungeon. D and so you you can smoke there first.
of so it's a buffet it's it's the food. that they didn't want to eat at the. [ __ ] it really is there's a dumb. waiter they P they put put down food and. you open up a thing and food comes out. [ __ ] nobody wanted upstairs we must eat. what will it be whatever the ones above. don't want nobody so the the buffet in. the hotel right up upstairs right like. Midwestern people are like a that looks. rotten right I don't want to eat that.
[Music]. right for the comedians right so now now. you have employees going through the L. with cigarettes in right yeah and just. drunk right right right and then you're. just you have this little thing ID card. right and you're going through and you. as a poor comic you have to eat it you. don't have a choice yes you can't afford. whatever's upstairs yeah yeah yeah you. so you're just sitting there eating like. this [ __ ] you know Brown.
cucumber right could you think. vegetables seems you know what I mean. like a not going to [ __ ] up my stomach. there have nutrients in it it's like a. brown it's a brown cuc look like a. [ __ ] potato chip you know what I mean. right it's crisp it crumbles yeah you me. the Cucumber the the first time I used. that card I'll never forget I I went. through the line and then I get to the. thing and I go I'd like to um I'm one of. the um employ I'm the comedian the woman. at the checkout was like okay.
yeah like didn't even scan didn't even. care she's like this is not a. privileged this is sad take your food. get the [ __ ] out of here yeah it's. really sad and then also then sometimes. when you're doing a Vegas show like. that you're sharing the green room with. another different show that's right yeah. some Lounge ja yeah not not a comedian. like a singer will be sitting there like. a magician with like you know what I. mean trying to figure out you know how.
to put the you know you can see the. bunny that's in the [ __ ] hat you know. what I mean he's trying to figure out. how to get it back in the Hat yeah oh. dude speaking of magician did you watch. in and of itself no does anybody know. about it Andre George Derek Delgado. shout out to Derek Delgato on Hulu in. and of itself Bobby I'm not even kidding. it's the greatest thing I think I've. ever seen in my entire life it's a. before you get I want to watch it look. at it but let me just before you get. T I want two episode of that HBO thing.
you want me to watch which which which. the comedian comedy one comedy some guy. that does a documentary style comedy oh. how to with John oh how too terrible. wrong I saw three EP I was with K I go. let's watch this tonight because Andrew. said was good it's super subversive it's. very fun and we're watching it we're. watching. it did you get the Scaffolding in New. York City this is I'm this is me. watching it yeah. it's really funny remember how you.
wanted to. be remember how you wanted highbrow. humor yeah yeah that's it no have you. guys seen howu did you guys watch it. yeah how good is it George genuinely. he's so he's so brilliant anyway this is. a this is a documentary about um a play. this guy does Off Broadway in New York. about 500 plays he's done Brennan Neil. told me to watch it and I was like. whatever I'll watch Neil Brennan Neil. Brennan no uh hold on here. yeah Neil Brennan Neil Brennan yeah yeah.
um I [ __ ] love Neil no um anyway and. and I went into this kind of being like. H I'm not really in the mood for this. whatever and it [ __ ] me up man I I. baled I [ __ ] bald I love crying. you're G to cry please watch this. tonight you're going to cry I watch it. tonight it is it on what it's on Hulu I. have Hulu everybody has Hulu it's called. in in in in and of itself it's it's a. true play that he wrote yeah and. honestly dude it's about his life and.
holy [ __ ] it's a one man show yes it. will shake your soul like it does it did. things for me that I was like wow you. have to sit in it for for a little bit. and let him get into the depths of the. story but once you get into the story. you're like oh it will [ __ ] shake. your innards like when was the last time. you saw something that did that yeah I. don't know a thing I watched that was. like really gotten. me yeah I watched tragedy porn yeah you. well yeah I like rewatching like you. know um 911 when it as it happened you.
know what I. mean that's the real you're just sitting. there going not real this is fake no but. have you ever watched as it. happens like the plane hitting the. towers no so you watch the news on. YouTube you watch the news when they're. discovering it for the first time yeah I. mean yeah hey Bob welcome to oh what we. got this is just in you know that kind. of and I watch it I try to bring myself. you know what I mean to that moment like. I'm watching it for the first time where. were you when it happened. I was sleeping I already told you oh.
that's right I S the whole day and then. I didn't find out about until the next. day it's kind of nice to sleep right. through that yeah and then when I went. to the Starbucks the next day I woke you. know and I went to the Starbucks and. people were like all depressed and stuff. I was like what the [ __ ] I what's going. on taking a long time for coffee yeah. and then I found out but um I also. watched the Korean fairy boat. tragedy no no you don't yeah you really. like that stuff there yeah and you know. it's sad I I talk about my my therapist. stopped doing it but what your therapist. says stop doing it but why not I guess.
if it helps you in some way it doesn't. help me oh it hurts no it I it feeds in. some sort of like that's the only way I. can feel no right well touches something. in you yeah but for me to see you know I. mean such devastating things you mean. played out in real time for me to feel. something with that it's it's [ __ ] up. hares hey buad hey buddy listen I um you. know when I go on the road I I like to. shave my pubic region of course you. shave your whole body don't you yeah I.
do and I because I'm a swimmer as well. and I ride bikes a lap swimmer yeah and. and it helps my time yeah of course it. shaves off some time exact exactly and. um all I use is haries yeah Harry's is. incredible it really is the best for my. um they are the best blaves man they. deliver a close comfortable shave at a. fair price only $2 per refill that's. significant cheaper than the store. Insanity my friend it is limited time. they're giving out a great incredible. deal for you guys they believe in. quality so much uh they they brought.
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wash it's incredibly it's an incredibly. great deal but act fastwall supplies. last go to harry.com bad friends to. redeem your offer meundies I tell you. what Andy I wear them all the time you. know it's my favorite underwear of all. time love they're comfortable love I. have ones with raccoons on it they're. purple I have ones with little pandas on. it they're red my pizza my pizza with. little trees on it and the for my my my. my my treasure tools your treasure Trove. gets neatly compacted inside the little. packaging of the me it's great it's got.
a nice little um it's got a ball cup. they do they make ball cups for men so. it rests nice and easy very big balls. for my body you do yeah and it it fits. perfectly in cuz your wiener rests right. between your balls like two snug pillows. like two body pillows yeah but the. mundies honestly they're so comfortable. and they don't ride up that's one of my. favorite things honestly they don't like. skirt up up your leg when you're doing. anything because honestly guys guys it's. like you know I remember like when I. would go on the road I would only i'. tell K go I only only because she packs.
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know Kila yesterday was just like can we. talk I just sit and talk yeah and like. she's expressing her feelings right and. I just I go. into when you're I just when oh. someone's trying to be real what is that. is that acid reflux right now cuz I just. add two pieces of pizza that Zoe Lister. Jones dropped off at my house what what. kind of pizza I don't know it was you. know white people Pizza H like thin yeah.
and I had to put in do you need do you. need medication for that you do that a. lot that acid refle like who cares. because I don't want your heart to stop. at some point if it stops it stops baby. no it can't stop yeah what's up baby it. can't stop so sad I know but if it does. it does why did zissa Jones just drop. off pizza at your house by the way. because I because her her the movie that. I was she did a movie with her husband. and it's on Sundance today oh yeah and. so they dropped it off you know what my. movie that I was in just got uh an award.
or I mean we nominated what is it George. show them show him my movie this is my. movie there I am really this is mine. yeah there I am with my dog oh congratul. lacious I didn't know you were in a. movie like this hu what do you mean this. is huge it's huge it's Pixar Bud oh wow. I didn't know that it's my voice it's my. dog did you produce it no oh no I I was. you know you're lucky didn't you know. why why cuz I would like where the [ __ ]. is my job you would have been I mean. where was where would would you fit in. that it's called out and it's about me.
yeah it's genu Eric Griffin has a movie. out too he does called. Soul you're really good at it he he did. kill it yeah he killed it you're really. good at it no this show it's out it's. about me and my husband Manuel and can I. oh is it a gay one it is and can I tell. you something who plays Manuel. Andre can't be good it can't be good. really you want to see a scene you want. to hear a scene yeah ready yeah he kicks. me out because he finds out that you. know I have been with his brother I've.
been hanging out we didn't do anything. we're just hanging out he doesn't. believe me he thinks I was hooking up. with his brother it's not true so this. is me when I come back home for the. first time to talk to him about. it that's our. cat how how can you do this to me I. didn't do anything to you Manuel look my. brother Manuel my brother Manuel I. didn't do anything to you and and first. of all your brother taco and I were just.
hanging out not Taco I mean he no no I'm. sorry what I don't think we can I can. yeah no what broke my heart I didn't. break anything trust me I didn't do. anything with Taco all I did was take. him to get ice cream and after that we. took a long walk in the park and that's. it after all I did for you supporting. your shitty career all these years you. know all I remember sitting in the back. of the comedy story hearing those stupid. jokes again and.
again and for what then well go deeper. to my. wall go deeper your now that you are a. movie star and. Davey yes and making the big money now. you go with my [ __ ] brother I do. stick to the script. Manuel Manuel I want to be honest with. you for a seconding I want to be Hest. with you Manuel what I have been.
sleeping with your brother I know and. you know why. why it's because you make me sick you're. disgusting you're a Stumpy little man. hey Manuel. yeah and I walked away anyway that's. part of the film yeah maybe you should. have. rewrites the funniest part about that. was I said stick to the script there is. no script but he was online for a while. wow you know what just happened there in. that conversation in that little improv.
scene with Andre it was like we were. driving on a freeway and we're cruising. and you know it's like hey you got to. the 11's right there you got to go all. the way to the right and he's like I got. it you're like all right you got to get. all the way to the right and then. finally he gets there and he's. like because here's when you were going. into Andrew's comedy and all that stuff. perfect and I said go deeper you went. the opposite way you should use that. opportunity he's never heard he's never. heard someone say go deeper he's never. heard that before oh I see that's a. thing no but anyway that's my movie and.
congrats to Eric Griffin on Soul because. I think that's killing it in the well. there is no box office now I guess what. there's no box office so it's yeah there. isn't no how do you know congratulate me. on Milan. congrats congrats on Mulan when does. your episode of Magnum PI come. out when can we be looking for. it why do you it's like a t there like a. shitty why you like that when can we. watch your episode of magn I don't know. when it comes out I've never seen I I. don't know did you never watch when you. did the first one I've done six or seven.
of them you have yeah I thought you only. did two no oh wow I've did a bunch and. you've never seen one episode and in the. end of J February I'm going back good. for another week and a half God for. another episode yeah you don't think I. could get one you want me to ask I mean. it'd be so fun that'd be great you would. be perfect i' absolutely love to do it. you know I you know I'll um I'll I'll. tell the one of the producers that I. know it'd be fun to go out there and. just mess around with you would but but. I want but honestly I'm not going to do.
it if it's not with you but we what if. we were in the same episode but not in. the same scenes that doesn't seem fun to. me yeah well they're at the same time I. know but I would rather be in it with. you so if they could make it one scene. we have one scene one scene that's fine. I would do one scene I would make sure. it's one scene you would love it because. the it's it's almost as if like you're. not on a show he's just having fun the. whole time no there's just a bunch of. like dudes that kind of look like me. like a guy named Zeke with tattoos all. over his face you know what I mean yeah. how you doing buddy you know what I mean. and then like it just you know Asians.
you know camera operator you know I mean. they all look like me you know somebody. said why don't you guys check in with. Jules more and I got to tell you I was I. had a whole thing today about talking to. Jules yeah and you know why I didn't. because she couldn't confront me she. couldn't confront if you could confront. me I would I would be more. conversational with you but I think that. you have an issue with me and I want you. to get it off your chest right now. what's the what's the problem I don't. have it's the who has an issue what's. his issue my issue he's lying he's not. Li that's disgusting to call my friend a.
liar you call a li funny that you think. that you have allies in this house right. you could do that [ __ ] in our house with. Kila yeah you try to fuse that [ __ ]. little thing that you do here no way. baby let's let's hear it all all all. everyone in the room here everyone in. our house in the bad friend's house that. that is a Rudy Ally say I on the count. of three one two three interesting what. George what what George George what oh.
he sneezed oh you sneezed yeah all right. I'm going to try it again there's any. allies in this house show yourself now. say I one two. three that's what I thought it feels you. know that. silence you're on that mountain alone. Jules that silence right is I call it. the void right you're alone in empty. space with no one around you MH and. you're free fall when me okay okay no. don't okay with your eyes all right.
right now all right here's another thing. I want to call her out on please please. maybe she has a video game addiction she. does. maybe what's going on Jules yeah what's. going on nothing are you play are you. playing too. much Kinda Yeah how many hours I can't. say why cuz I was. get oh she going to get in trouble yeah. yeah yeah no you're not Jules is a lot. like me in many ways yeah but in the. pandemic we escape we have our ways of.
feeling good the video game is an escape. world for you huh what's the video game. that you play valerant. valerant what what is it first person. first person shooter it's like it's like. war zone but um more cartoony I guess. more more like more animated are you. upset with me right now no I feel like. yeah there in your face I feel like. you're going he's betrayed me again no. he's a betrayer did you have a. conversation with Tito Bobby about um. the valerant game and not talking to.
yeah. yeah why do I do that well it's out it's. fine it's fine all right you know that's. another thing that I do that's a bad. thing what hold hold stuff above people. yeah what I do yeah it's so evil it's so. bad I just realized that I do it but I. do it because just now after all the. times that you've done it yeah yeah yeah. after 49 years of doing it right I um. and and I I I real the reason why I did. it is I do go through a thing I was like. should I do it or not right then I weigh. the consequences of it in my head right.
and then I go you know I think the. entertainment qual you know the value of. the entertainment risk and reward risk. and reward right so I I weigh it right. if you were really going to get in. trouble about something right I would. never say anything right I think I know. a couple of things you know what I mean. that would never say out loud right so. well like like what like like the boy. thing the boy stuff no I don't know you. keep that private I don't know are you. okay something stuck in my in my throat. do you want some water no it's fine no. it's fine put your hand out I'm give you.
a little water it's fine put your hand. out just put your hand out I'll give you. a little. water there you go drink up. kid whoa dude that's crazy you know what. I mean yeah yeah thank you George Ally. Ally Ally Ally for sure I could smell. that from here hey um yeah can you open. it to Andrew oh my go. useless yeah um there's a couple of.
things I want to um a movie that I saw. the other night that people like but I. hate it and I and it was called the vast. of night vast of night let me see what. it looks like George the vast of night. what what's the deal with it why did you. hate it just the vast of night holding. over. my Amazon a Jeff Bezos origin no so it. takes place in the 50s what tell us by.
yourself I don't know aren't you like. some big science girl tell me about. science pause it we don't have to see. the rest no I cannot stand it why do we. pretend that that was a voice that. people did what I know I what that's. what they used to talk like back in. there nobody talk like that yeah stick. him up buddy no yeah I've heard my. grandfather talk he doesn't sound like. that he never sound like that yeah but. your grandfather oh hey see kid Matt. nobody talk like that was a TV thing. these are people that are that L used to. live in cities and stuff not the hills. of eyes wherever you come from come from.
the city of Chicago my grandfather's. born and raised in the city of Chicago. what's a what's wrong with this okay so. it's number one it looks kind. beautifully shot yeah it looks beautiful. the it's the um the director's a genius. and this is his first thing I think I. think he's going to work forever sure. sure um the acting is great okay right. it's um let me just I I'm going to just. give a spoiler alert you literally are. like this is good this is good you're. like it's the title that's like the only. thing no no no no that's not what it is.
what's okay spoiler Al well we should we. spoil it just came out I don't care I. don't care I have to do it I don't care. I'm gonna do it all right and if you if. you don't if you want to watch the movie. then [ __ ] click it off. now no don't turn off the episode just. cuz they no oh well keep listening but. I'm going to do it anyway just don't. watch the movie what is it all right so. can I just do my rundown okay yeah yeah. so it's beautifully shot right you can. tell that they didn't have a lot of.
budget and I I think what he with the. amount of money that he had available he. milked it right the acting is incredible. okay and I'm just going to tell you what. just the short synopsis of what it is. right how about do that without giving. anything away short just give me the I. have to give it away or because the. reason why is because the ending is the. one that thing that bothers you yeah. right okay may I yes all right acting. amazing okay so basically it's like they. hear like you know he's a DJ yeah I. could tell and she's um a phone operator.
person right so I guess back in the day. you know I mean if you had to call. somebody you had to plug it in operator. yeah they I'll hook you up right and do. that right so she's hearing like a. little like noises alien noises oh. cool right right and he tells her she. goes have you heard this before to the. DJ D go and then he he puts it out you. know on the say hey y'all listening. right now you ever hear this right. people start calling we've heard it. before whatever whatever right so at the. end of the day they go through this. whole thing and at the end of the movie.
right they go they go in the forest. right these two mhm and they see an a. flying saucer cool that's. it what what that's it no aliens bro bro. bro. bro I've seen every xfiles episod yeah. xile is a great show if you're going to. do a [ __ ] movie anything that. pertaining to aliens it's got to be. better than X Files episode X Files. awesome I love X Files yeah so what do.
you mean Oh you mean has to I'm just. saying if you're going to do a [ __ ]. feature right something you know what I. mean right can I see the alien was is. there is there a love story is that. probably the a story even a love story. they get [ __ ] Zapped into the [ __ ]. Al they fly away do they make love at. some point they probably [ __ ] up there. but she's a she's 16 oh gross what no. this is they high school kid you asked. me I don't know I'm just assuming but is. it a kid love story are they like. Falling in Love no he's like an adult. she's a kid oh so this is a weird I. don't like this at all yeah yeah yeah. it's like a grown man is like hey phone.
plug girl but like Chris Duckman who's. one of my favorite uh YouTube. reviewers you I've asked him on. Instagram to do tiger Bell he never. responded doesn't want to do it why do. they do that honestly because I think. some people don't care some people like. I don't want to do. podcasts yeah but the thing is I've. asked people and it's like um who's the. biggest person you've asked and they and. they didn't and they kind of blew you. off. oh there's a lot uh step Yun but what's.
one that you like you really it hurt. your feelings that they blew you Ste y. Steph Yun let's call them out right now. de Yun hurt me Ken Jung hurt me yeah but. we've known that Ali Wong hurt me yeah. right you know I asked those three. what's the trend we're see what's the. trend Asians they're Asian Asians yeah. not as loyal as we once. thought yeah yeah why did Alli Wong let. you know allly doesn't do podcast she. doesn't do podcast but she doesn't do. anybody's podcast it'd be weird if she. did somebody if she did like she if she. did other people's podcast and didn't do.
mine I would I would. what she's never no I would do I would. it would be War I know she hasn't Conan. I would start a war oh she did one with. Conan I get that though yeah yeah he's a. gigantic talk show yeah that makes sense. yeah yeah yeah but if she did oh 36 Ali. Wong podcast. interviews wow no really it says it. right there 36 36 of Ali Wong. podcast uh you're not your mom's book. club. dear girls oh dear girls is at her showu.
does she have a podcast now all Wong. with Ali what with K Assad what is this. George anyway anyway um she doesn't do. she doesn't do our she doesn't do. Friends Podcast no no like if she had. done yours and didn't do mine I would. have a problem well her and I aren't. close like that that wouldn't even exist. I mean like Ally and I are are cool but. you guys you know her more than I do mhm. I knew her when she wasn't even a. comedian so all she's done is three.
truly that's the real number that's fine. yeah that's fine Conan wait wait don't. tell me and idiot something George pause. on something so I can read it idiot with. Chris Hardwick okay she did Hardwick. wait wait don't tell me which is massive. and Conan yeah that makes sense right do. you know Hardwick I love him I don't. know him well but I like him nice guy. he's doing the ball drop show again. really you know the balls that dropped. from the thing and the money good yeah I. saw it come I like him just cuz I. remember like he always been nice to me. yeah at a gas station once mhm and I was.
like three pumps away and he hey man and. he came up to the you know would you. have come up to him I saw him before. yeah I saw him before he saw me I didn't. anything why do you get nervous like. that I always avoid I always see people. and I I avoid it hello hello tushi hello. tush Spritz Spritz on your tush you get. on the toilet hello tushi is pH been a. lifesaver for me because I used to have. a dirty hole dirty hole it used to be.
deep dirty and [ __ ] Dusty crusty dust. crusty and you know I used to use like. you know every time I poo I use a whole. roll a whole roll of toilet paper yeah. that's how crazy that is not economical. I know it's a dark hole it's a deep dark. hole and then once we got uh the the. tush right I put it in right it's so. economical first of all it was what 75. bucks it's it's it's significantly. cheaper than any other bedet that you. would find I don't use toilet paper.
anymore and it cleans the hole so. perfectly nice you could eat a fried egg. on my butthole what about scrambled no. just fried just fried okay well over. easy is how I like it man the future of. toileting is here by the way we have one. here at the studio we both have one at. home and at first I was adverse I'm not. going to lie I was like I don't want. this thing who cares I put it on I love. it sometimes I'm not going to lie in the. middle of the night when I wake up to. pee I just turn it on just for fun I sit. down to pee in the middle of the night. because I can't see and I don't want to. turn on the lights and I sit down I turn. on the tushy it gives me a nice little.
how you doing in the middle of the night. yep I'm not lying it's actually very. nice the 3.0 the hello tushy 3.0 doesn't. just cleanse your butt with a precise. stream of fresh water it cleans itself. before and after it's used the smart. spray automatic selfcleaning nozzle come. on man you don't have to do anything it. attaches to the toilet it's already. there hello tushi bdet attachment comes. with a 60-day RIS risk-free guarantee. and a 12-month warranty come on man it's. a deal of a lifetime if you already have. a tush on your pot upgraded 3.0 model if.
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I'm this is the truth all right the door. Dash saved my life in Hawaii how you. know why no because I was using these. other apps yeah yeah right and they. would say um we don't have anyone near. the location right right right door Dash. they had it everywhere really yeah so. I'd be like I want to go to this weird. restaurant that's on this side of that. you know and all the other um. applications are like we don't go there. door Dash they go there they're so quick. they're so precise door Dash is my. number one thing door Dash is number one.
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friends 2021 for 25% off your first. order with door. Dash subject to change terms apply there. you go like you know I like small talk I. don't like small talk I don't like it's. there was also a time where it was like. when you have no especially when you run. into people in the industry and you. really have nothing going on right I. just didn't want to you know what I mean. what are you up to oh I just played the. chuckle [ __ ] Factory in Idaho I don't. want to [ __ ] say that I do understand. when you it's both people going what's. been going on you're like what's been. going on yeah because people rattle off.
like [ __ ] they're doing oh I just sold a. show to HBO like that's what they open. with and you're like oh you know well. see nothing bothers me more and there's. a few people that we both know that do. this when you go hey man what's up and. they're like oh man and they just they. just vomit out their new resume right. and you're like I just said [ __ ] hi. or they do this this is the worst what. they do huh where I there's a couple of. guys where I go what's up and they'll go. man you're killing it you know don't you. ever have a break right and they start.
rattling things that you're doing it's. like dude we're not yeah this is real. life here baby see when people do that. to me like do it to me like do that. right now like watch you're that guy now. what this is how I react when I go hey. dude what's going on hey Andrew oh my. God Davey Dude Killing. it and whiskey Ginger Man and bad. friends. are it made me so angry can you imagine. if I was yeah yeah let me try try it. yeah yeah your way though all right yeah. I get.
it go ahead D you you say hi to me in. this [ __ ]. scenario you start the thing and I don't. want to start it though no you say Hi. and then I cuz you that was the whole. point all right where are we at though. um we are oh we I'm at a gas we're. pumping at a gas station all right but. this is I'm going to play it real okay. this is the way I would do it all right. we play okay play it for real. [Music]. [Laughter].
just give me a second all right I'm just. playing it real all right I I don't. think that you would look at me like. that yes I would you would be like it's. not me I'm playing a guy I know but. you're playing another guy but I don't. think any guy would look at me like I. know how I'm playing the guy I know but. don't look at me like that don't test my. acting skills I know what the guy is all. right all right here we go hold on hold. on I need a second I need a second right. so I have the thing in right me too I'm. already here I've been already here. I'm already here you just you just. started all right okay ready I'm.
pumping. [ __ ] Bob Bobby I start. oh I know [ __ ] you [ __ ] it up already. sorry I start. okay. [ __ ]. [ __ ]. [ __ ] good hey. oh. Bob hey man hey Clark hey clarky good to.
see you what's up hey dude whoa are you. killing it right now yeah bad friends. yeah a Magnum PI yeah is that what you. did yeah you copied me that's what I was. just going to do what you did yeah no. why did you copy me you said you going. to play it for. real play it for real oh what I would do. yes oh I didn't know I thought I thought. you said to do it the way you did it no. you're supposed to do it your. way all right all right well then if we.
did it my way it would we would never we. would never. talk yeah yeah right all right let's do. okay right this is the way I would do it. yeah hey hey man clarky oh Bob what's up. man I tell you what's up man you are. killing it bad friends Magnum PI I mean. you got but solister or Jones you're. doing so much stuff right now you're. absolutely exploding right now. doing well that's Inc bad friends and. tiger belly is like murdering it's what.
Zoe. died zois or Jones died yeah yeah we. both. did you're right here we both that's why. you don't make small talk I I don't do. it I does work I it you're not a small. talk guy I can't do it I always say hi. yeah even if it's somebody that I know. is going to tra me in a conversation I. don't want to be in yeah because it's. what it's like you got to you have to do. it you have to go you don't have to that. that's why avoid you do because they see. you and that's bad no I always avoid but.
they see you I what I'm sure they see. you yeah I did this one my I was with my. cousin Jenny once and she didn't know so. I walked in to pay for gas right and I. ran into my buddy right his name was Ben. mhm they. go my my cousin's in the car she doesn't. know that we know each other so I'm. going to go back over there and pick a. fight with me right yeah and I go I'm. going to punch you so hard in the. stomach. right he's a big guy too he's like all. right yeah so I um you know I I do the.
gas he comes what's up [ __ ] [ __ ]. like he goes strong he goes like really. too strong right to the point where I. was like what but it was it worked. because I got what what' you say yeah. you [ __ ] ch ch ch right I go what the. [ __ ] say to my face he goes it comes up. to me and I went like that he fell to. the ground he started doing convulsions. right I got in the car and my [ __ ]. cousin was like wow thought you were so. tough yeah you're a real man huh you're. right you're tough tough guy it's the.
best that is so it's the you never told. her never told her until now Jenny pay. attention until now it was fake oh I. want to I want to say something remember. that song we played for you yeah that. Loi stuff I love that song There's a. comic named Whitmer Thomas do you know. Wht the [ __ ] man Wht had put up a. song today and I thought this was I know. that guy yeah Whitmer yeah Whitmer. Thomas um it start play it from the. beginning he this is a song that he. originally composed here during this is. this kind of sums up what the pandemic.
has been for everybody to me it's short. and quick it's great and I [ __ ] love. it coffee and water the plant text my. dad and pay my rent try to write. something even if it's [ __ ] watch a. [ __ ] movie ain't seen yet checking. with friends the M clean the kitchen. counter even though it's clean sit in. the Sun and try to sweat go through all. phots and shave my head let become a. bottomless hole squeeze the Joy from my.
soul try to relate try to self motivate. but you can't fight the roll no no no. you can't fight the roll all right I. love him uhuh I love him pretty good I. think he's so great yeah that's the kind. of stuff that sums up the pandemic to me. alone in your house on a green screen. yeah guitar keyboard it's it's it's you. know. life's become a bottomless hole it's.
funny we we've been so conditioned to. live like this for the last it's been. almost now a year it has been no it has. been coming up on a year right imagine a. year I haven't done standup in a year. think how good you'll be when you get. back bad yeah it be bad yeah but won't. that be fun to be bad oh I can't wait. because I'm just I'm going to start a. new but um you are yeah I'm going to. start new are you going to put anything. down I'm not I'm literally not going to. do any old I don't know the old jokes.
but I'm saying you should put down the. old jokes on a tape or something like. put them out no starting a new my stuff. is garbage no it's not let me make a. suggestion I'll tell you why look at me. and when people say that it's so funny. because I did some of my old jokes on a. when I did the Montreal Comedy Festival. yeah and it's online some of them no it. was a standup show that I did yeah but. not an hour I know but it was still 6. minutes it got three View. okay no one gives a [ __ ] can I suggest. something and you can say no.
what take away the okay what if you. record record all your old jokes that. you're going to throw away yeah okay. yeah record them all yeah and print them. on records uhuh and print 25 of them. uhhuh like a small amount right and sell. them for charity okay that's a good. thing is that a good idea can we talk. back to the pandemic though makes you. nervous yeah it does don't be nervous. yeah you make me nervous don't do that.
don't don't transition into something. that's not true because you're. uncomfortable with what's going on with. you make me nervous about what it's. different why see that's why what do you. mean no because I feel like you're going. to bring up stuff that's going to like. be cuz you know my um I'm not going to. bring up insec know but I'm just saying. you know I'm being very supportive I'm. just saying that you know I know your. spots I know I'm not touching the spots. know but you know where the my spots are. within my body is right and sometimes. I'm an emotional massage therapist yeah. but sometimes you'll say things and it's. like around the spot right you're not.
really in the spot not hit it I know but. you're around it right but the spot gets. it pulsates okay okay you know what we. can move on to the next thing but I was. just saying I want to talk about the. pandemic you. [ __ ] I'm sorry thank you you're right. you've been a great guy thank you and I. apologize I love you I don't want to get. I don't want to get into this but I. don't want to talk you know why I don't. want to talk about the Pandy because you. want to bring this guy [ __ ] back on. what do you mean whitmer's the [ __ ] I I. like it so I want to talk about tell me. what are he saying I know I'm just in. general you know tell me it's just that.
we don't it's just odd that in the last. year it just went by and it's like it. that our society and everything I don't. know how to do anything anymore in terms. of what just in terms of like I don't. know what it's like to meet people or. have conversations with people I don't. talk to people but you didn't do that. quite much when it wasn't I guess I. didn't you really a super social. butterfly when it was yeah but I still. knew how to I'll be honest with you like.
when Jeff Scott died yeah we talked. about it right yeah it just is really. sad I know yeah so it's like little. things like that it's like Jeff Scott. died and it's like I wish you know that. number one I believe that without the. pandemic that he could still be alive. yeah I mean the only thing I heard and. I'll say this is that Jeff people know. he's the belove was the Beloved piano. player for The Comedy Store for for 25. years MH the only thing that might have. contributed to his death and I'm not.
spreading rumors but I'm just saying. maybe was I had heard that Jeff was. friends with a fair amount of people. from the Hoover [ __ ]. gang he rolled deep with a gang from the. Hoover Crips from South Central Los. Angeles. no. no I almost believe I know I know I was. thinking think you know what I mean but. I sold it well yeah but Jeff was also. the whitest guy youve ever yeah the gay. pianist from the comicy store was not. rolling with Hoover Crips but can you.
imagine that would be amazing in a. driveby he's playing the piano in the. car yeah yeah what's up fool he's. like yeah he was incredible but my point. is so go back very [ __ ] much let's go. back to the um and it's just um you. think he would have survived had the. pandemic not happened yeah there's other. people like I um you. know I think that a lot of young Comics. got [ __ ] too oh my God. so many people how about just people got. [ __ ] yeah I had I had a kid calling me.
you know Dylan the fat gay guy Dylan. yeah you didn't have to Tagg that those. you could have just said Dylan the kid. who used to work at the comic store he. moved he's in Austin right so he called. me he's like I don't know what to do or. Austin or where' he move to what to. Texas yeah because I don't know what to. do because you know I not make any money. here and my dream is here but yeah he. went with Tony. hinchley yeah but yeah those guys moved. down there for the the Rogan train I. know what do you think of that there so. many people I know I don't Tim Dylan's. moving down there I know you want to go.
to Austin yeah look I don't I don't we. just got our houses man yeah we just got. our. houses I mean at the end of the day it's. like we just got our houses yeah it's. like I'm paying mortgage on my house I'm. not it's not here's my other thing if if. you this is sounds crazy and I'm gonna. say this and I mean this yeah everyone's. like you don't need to stay in La you. don't need to be in La okay fine I get. it I don't need to be in LA to do what. we do kind of you do you do because. those guys they say that but they don't. also those guys right guys like Tony and.
those guys they don't have like dream I. you and I they don't have dreams they. don't have dreams no they don't have. dreams they don't no no they don't work. in Hollywood H they don't they don't. want to like get on a movie or TV or act. right they're not actors and that's why. not that I'm an actor but I like doing. it and it's a part of my it's a part of. what I do right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. right so it's like I like the challenge. of it right those guys aren't in the. that's what I'm saying they're not in.
the acting side of Hollywood and they. want to be some of them I think a lot of. them don't yeah but some of them do I. don't know Tony Tony I don't think he. goes out for stuff like that or but he's. had said stuff to me like I can't I. can't get anything oh I didn't know he. goes out I I just didn't know how much. he goes out but I mean like seura he. doesn't he acts only if they ask him. yeah yeah right so they're moving down. there yeah Tim Dylan does I mean he Tim. does whatever the [ __ ] he wants which is. why he's genuinely killing it harder. than anybody else in the comedy game I. mean it no no one is funnier and puts. out more consistent [ __ ] than Tim Dylan.
um I mean who else has moved out I mean. you know I'm sure Whitney will probably. go down there no yeah dude at some point. I think all those people will go down. there me and you are going to be the. only people in LA but then what happens. when the clubs open back then we own la. right you and me Chang we're running. this town how great would that be you. and me in La yeah I did cross over the. hill today to go to get tested again I'm. getting tested seven days a week I know. it's insane great. across the hill to go get tested cuz I. went over to the studio that we that we.
our production office is today is one of. the first days that restaurants are. allowed to be open again do you know. that we're in purple mode or whatever. yeah no restaurants have patios open now. because it's raining here in La. Denny's a line down the block no people. are people were begging to eat outside. at Danny's that's how much people wanted. to be outside wow they were just like. please what is do I hear something oh. it's it's she's watching something on. her phone yeah she is she was she was.
I'm not she was I'm not I'm not wait. wait why when you raise your voice yeah. she does get Snappy yeah yeah what do. you that's sir Andrew Santino surrender. your phone to to Tito right now. surrender your phone the rest of the. episode is going to be about you. surrender your phone right now do. it I want you to talk to her now I want. to tell her about her behavior I want to. see if I can damn it just pass code yeah. wait is that is that the Grateful Dead. case yeah are you a Grateful Dead fan no.
no no can you name any members of the. Greatful Dead no not one not not not. even the main guy that died no I just. four fingers on one hand no I just like. the we're GNA we're going to give you a. hint yeah cuz you're actually very good. at guessing names yeah yeah remember. when you guessed the vice president and. the president-elect yeah so um let's see. who let's see who the the the man who. was in The Grateful Dead he passed away. he was a leader the lead singer mhm his. name was what it starts with a.
J George George George yes what's his. last name that's pretty good the last. the last name is Hispanic. or I would say what region in What. Hispanic region Andre what why are you. laughing a very common Spanish last name. what is it Andre a very common Spanish. last name everywhere in it's very common. yeah correct but make it comedy next. time yes Jesus Christ. I was setting him up I gave him like. a that was funny I gave the guy an.
alleyoop I was like what what Latin. region could this be from a five minute. [ __ ] break and then he goes comedy a. bar. Spanish oh my god dude lie next time. yeah Chile he's CH it's ch Chilean last. name George what. George Trinidad Trin. Trinidad how do you know that. it's not correct yes it is yes it is. George Trinadad was singer the great.
dad that's impressive how did wait how. did bring up a picture of George. Trinidad please how did you how did you. how did you know that did they text you. images where is George Trinidad right. there there he is Trinidad there he is. there he is he died he was a lead singer. of The Grateful Dead four fingers on one. hand yeah and now show those the picture. beneath that picture of the two guys. right beneath it right beneath him. no no no yeah there it is that's the. other that's the other members the other.
members of the great dead can you name. well look it says that Peter and George. okay it says Peter and George who you. know George Trinidad and Peter ble who's. the third member do you. know starts with a c. c Carlos Carlos Carlos yeah what's his. last name it's very easy. easy the last name starts with an X. Carlos. X Carlos senen.
Carlos Carlos. Zen Carlos. [Music]. zenas zenas Carlos stias pull up Carlos. stias please and there he. is the third member click on it George. the third member of the Grateful Dead. Carlos entius y there he is and he what. instrument did Carlos play he played the. triangle and the Bongos and let me say. something about him right triangle in. the Bongos right there he is Carlos. antias Carlos antillas was triangle and.
the bong but he invented right he. invented the plastic triangle did he. really yeah because usually triangles. were played with metal right always. right met metallic right but his was. made out of plastic it was much bigger. and it was yellow purple and a. fluorescent green the right and he used. to the the the stick was like colorful I. don't know what it was yeah it was it. was almost like a you remember like a a. barber shop W you know it had like a. wrap to it yeah so right and he would. when grateful Dad would play it right. like it would like be.
rhythmic right right and they would go. right and then he would go drop. [Music]. it they were so good they were very good. they he would do that for 45 they would. jam in G major for 45 minutes straight. straight I mean have you seen a triangle. [ __ ] solo it's it's raw a 20-minute. triangle solo is yeah it [ __ ] up it. [ __ ] up the ears [ __ ] up the ears. at some point people come running for.
dinner um so are are you are you now. going to know enough about Grateful Dead. when somebody sees your phone case and. goes hey do you know about the Grateful. Dead yeah yes and so the the three. members are. George Trinidad yes Carlos. cilas and and P. Peter maave well it's BL but mve is. correct maave is actually kind of a. stage name for him yeah and the genre of.
music was is the genre of. music um rock rock rock. and blues rock and blues rock and blues. yeah Blues a rock either way you can. they're interchangeable either can. juggle either um I want to show you. something because I learned something. very recently the sperm is the hot new. wrinkle treatment do you know that no. seriously people are using sperm as new. that this is real people are using sperm.
as facial treatment really do you put. stuff on your face at night sperm who. mine have you really is this sperm yeah. sperm it's like a new thing so you put. it on your wrinkles women will put. there's there's like certain kinds of. sperm that people put on their face. overnight but it's not human sperm sure. is but what what's certain kind stuff. that they can't you know if you go to. sperm bank yeah they can't use all of. your sperm you know that right right so. if it's not good sperm it gets in these. things and this if it's not good for. birth it's good for this but can I just.
give like Kila my own com and she can. put it on her sure can would then it. will work sure. will really yeah Rudy what do you have. um I think I'm gonna tell so this is a. so we can improve uh check how uh Rudy's. doing with her improv skills all right. yeah cuz she is lacking tremendously. so she's going to read a story just uh.
from her cards uhhuh now and you guys. have three minutes to ask her questions. to determine if it's a real story or a. fake story okay very good fun very good. okay so you have to learn how to sell. what whatever you're. selling okay okay I cheated on an exam. and got an A the person I cheated from. got a B+ look at me in the face. h Huh what subject was it what kind of. test was it.
math math she's just called just math. Now isn't there like a is it algebra or. something that no we call it math in the. Philippines there's no like specific. there's only math one two three four. what's what's the name of the person you. cheated off of Liz Liz the Filipino girl. Liz yeah what's her last name tan. listan Liston pretty good Liston yeah. listan all right so we have to guess now. if she's Is that real or she's lying you. guys have 3 minutes to ask questions so.
you can go deeper yeah but what all. right we I see two yeah all right um LZ. tan how many people are in the class. 32 yeah but that's a standard Liz tan. what about Liz tan I want to know about. Liz tan Lan how tall is Liz tan she's. 5'4 H 54 how old is she um 18 is she. ugly no she's really pretty she is are. you jealous no she's my friend who's her.
boyfriend before at the time it was VJ. VJ VJ sing the golfer the 65y old golfer. no VJ who VJ Daniel what does her dad do. for that a li what does her dad do her. for a living her dad is a businessman. what business he makes. cardboards yeah it's true really makes. cardboard what do you mean he just makes. card yeah like boxes yeah boxes wow what. does what does the mom do she's a.
doctor wait wait wait wait wait wait so. the mom is a doctor and that's not. bringing enough enough cash so he. decides I'm going to make cardboard. boxes three minutes is up okay THS up. first of all that's a that's a lie you. didn't cheat in it isn't it is that true. I lied but the mom and dad was true that. was real yeah the mom is a doctor and. the dad makes boxes yeah and Liz is true. here's a better game Let's create a. better game all right yeah right how. about we we we assign you you're a.
professor no see that's how you're. scared you're a professor right and. we're going to tell you what you're. you're an expert on and we're going to. ask you questions about thing and you. have to answer the questions make it up. right and be confident about what you're. saying all right this is a good bit this. is a good bit let's see how good let's. see how good Jules is in improv yeah so. you're a history Professor yeah yeah. right and the Industrial Revolution is. your yeah.
really that's so hard I know she can. make it up let's see if she can yeah do. you have enough re okay okay here we go. so we're two students after class yeah. and we're we have questions about the. homework yeah mean not maybe not the. industrial re Revolution what do you. want to do she's just a what about she's. just a history teacher yeah. yeah hi hi um um Miss cun thanks for ask. having us we just had some questions. about a couple of questions yeah about. today's lessons and whatnot yeah you.
know um. so um the Declaration of Independence. just can you who who signed in the. Declaration of Independence was signed. by Abraham. Lincoln and it was after I don't know TI. Bobby wait all right who's Tito Bobby. stop when you're okay all right there is. there is no wrong answer yeah cuz you're. making it up that's right right but you.
have to you can't pause like that you. just the whatever you're saying you. believe it is a fact it's a fact okay. let's try it again it's a fact okay ask. her another different question all right. um um um M Miss [ __ ] [ __ ] oh sorry sorry. my bad sorry my bad I'm done my bad we. just get nervous we get so nervous cuz. you're so smarter than us so um and I'm. not smart but in in in the um World War. II mhm yeah um who who was the countries.
involved again all of like I don't. remember who was in it the countries. that were involved were Japan uh-huh us. our country our country yes yeah Germany. yeah. yeah um Hawaii Hawaii Hawaii was they. weren a part of our country oh yeah they. were Brazil yeah Brazil Brazil Brazil. was okay that's interesting so how did. Brazil get involved in that war.
yeah um our president who was our. president during the War yeah I don't. Franklin Roosevelt Franklin Roosevelt. yeah he went to Brazil yes and asked the. president if he could help us bomb. Germany who was the president of Brazil. yeah Brazil who was the president of. Brazil at the time it. was. Jose Gregor. Jose Gregory I read about I remember him. I read his bio wait wait Jose Gregory.
didn't he do something before becoming. president of Brazil yeah what was his. first job or his job I think he was a. janitor he was he went from janitor to. president yes I I remember that I. remember that I remember that yeah yeah. do you have any questions because when. somebody wins the lottery in this. country you you just pull the hose G. Gregory they use that term yeah yeah. wait. you have a question for you I do so um. so during the war right so the Japan.
were with the Germans right yeah yes. what was the uh Japan's fleet called. yeah what were they called the Japan's. fleet was called. akat Fleet atat what does kkat mean akat. means rogue rogue the Rogue Fleet yes. that's interesting that's tight that's. tight right cool we should create a band. called that k Fleet yeah I really like. that I really like that I have one more. history question for you yeah of course.
um you know now this is embarrassing I. don't stupid but um at the turn of the. century you know yeah Y2K yeah this. recent Century what they said computers. were going to stop remember that yeah. yeah why computers were G computers were. going to stop because our. government put some thing in the. chip that's it so our government let me.
get theight. whoa you're blowing my mind let me get D. straight let me get how. complex how complex our govern and. diabolical so our country our we put a. chip uhhuh our government put a chip in. the computer in oh in what which. computer yeah what computer did I put in. oh all all computer products right so oh. diabolical so our government went to.
Macintosh well H Packard so our went to. Macintosh hulet Packard Apple Apple's. Macintosh right same thing and they. specifically put unannounced to the the. companies yeah a government chip yeah. and what was the purpose of this. chip to stop and maybe make the. computers a lot. oh Singularity okay so then why Why. didn't it work Why didn't it.
work um this technician that works for. the government what was his name he was. his name. was John yeah. Arkansas John arkans Arkansas much like. the state yeah yeah and or the country. is it a is it a country or a state St. State it's a state so John Arkansas he. was the one that put the chips on all. the computers yes but he made an error. and that's why it didn't work what was.
the error what was it he was coding and. he. put penis he wrote penis in the coding. and it didn't work so are you telling us. wow that penis saved us all in the year. 2000 yeah yeah wow John Arkansas a chip. from the government yeah wow that's what. way what does Y2K stand for oh what does. that stand for. yeah then your yeah to.
yeah. cute oh Rudy you did great great job. give it off for rude for the that was. good take your phone back Rudy you get. your phone back and you know the. Grateful Dead members now yeah all right. let's look in the camera and say it. thank you for being a bad. friend woo. you hear about a kid right yeah who's. great at football right in high school.
right. yeah he's a. quarterback he's a quarterback all right. he's a quarterback right and it's now. tryouts right for the college yeah right. I'm a college Scout what college uh WNBA. that's the college yes all right all. right and WNBA I'm the [ __ ]. University head of the sports division. got it okay hear about this n chice. manuso I love Clarice Mano yeah he's a. quarterback from high school from Oxnard.
High School 68 he's 68 225 exactly pure. muscle yeah pure muscle right yeah and. um I he he gets every time he throws a. ball it goes right into the tight end. right in the chest or the wide receiver. or the end I mean a wide receiver no it. goes to the what what do you do it when. you score in the tou In The End Zone End. Zone End Zone it goes End Zone well the. tight end could catch it and put it in. the sometimes he does you think think. the end was called the tight end. yes yeah okay so every time it goes. right in the tight end in the end and so.
I I hear about this matusa guy right and. and and I'm seeing him scrimmage right. with the boys right Hut he and he throws. the ball right in back of him yeah yeah. yeah I'm like I heard this guy was good. you know what I mean and I know that he. has another he's on a team with my other. friend my a guy I know Andrew yeah right. so let's do it again go go reset right. on the go on the 20 yard line Second. snap right right he spins on his head.
right yeah like spins it right and just. kind of walks around in a circle like. like right right and then cut I don't. know what they say you know what I mean. no they don't they don't see cut right. can't cut I don't know what they say cut. so then I go then I I'm like a little. hey man come on man this is real man. this is for the college W right right. he's like I'm doing it I'm trying yeah. at that point I want to be like it was. all hype ah but it's not so my tape.
right the tape that I sent this morning. right is that timeout yeah yeah Rudy how. was the tape spinning a ball on his head. or was it throwing it in the tight. end it was throwing in the tight end. very good yeah. yeah. woo woo. yeah.
woo yeah.
