Black Monday w/ Erik Griffin | Ep 92 | Bad Friends

hi. i'm andrew santino with bad friends it's. black friday and we're having a black. friday sale buy one thing get anything. else in the store 25 off. badfriendsmerch.com go to. badfriendsmarts.com. buy something get 25 off anything else. in the store happy black friday. hey bad friends i'm on the road go to. andrewsantino.com for those tickets i'm. going to be in san diego then i'm going. to be in fort lauderdale florida then. i'm going to arizona phoenix i'll be. there for new year's eve shows and then. in the new year i'm gonna be in dc.

atlanta albany uh seattle portland i'm. jumping all over the place and there's. more dates being added go to. androsantino.com for tickets. andrewsantino.com for tickets. who are these two idiots. white dude i'm an asian dude. you two are disgusting. oh you two or something we're bad. friends let me say this welcome. everybody to uh the black monday dark. night this is black monday uh we don't.

do black friday we do black monday and. it's a black monday oh [ __ ] last. black monday monday. what's up dog do it bro hey you feeling. good on black money dog. how about you play black monday in the. house dog i'm bored. give me some skin. you want to raise the roof together. security. what's going on. what's going on with you you come in. with such rage and anger can i get a. second i just parked can i get a second. you just put me right into the fire go. ahead god what is it i want to squid.

games this [ __ ] so bad right now we. talked about which one we would lose at. which one you think you'd lose that. that's good game all of them no but. would you make it past any of those. things i don't know the cookie carving. one i think you might be able to do you. know what. no no no this is how you know you you. know. wow you took that the wrong way dude. i've always thought that there was a. cookie carving one that would have been. they had this. sugar. like that's how skilled you are with. your hands a clock maker yeah you have. that vibe you don't like the key maker.

kind of i didn't understand why. if the if the glass thing can hold two. people like why didn't they just you. know swing with something the littlest. person you know boom that one breaks. yeah boom that one breaks and then now. we can all go like get their arms and. their legs and then yeah yeah yeah they. don't know what the game is right they. knew what that one was it said it could. be two people yeah. i know but under the circumstances and. the stress event i just don't think yeah. you would have been that guy in the. front that was like i'm not going to. move yeah i'm that guy yeah 100 sure. which one am i no i'm the guy i'm the oh.

you're the the bastard guy at the end. who like turned on everybody. i know i'm the one that i would take. somebody down with me so i'm like that. girl who's you're the guy the girl right. he's the girl in the girlfriend the girl. that grabs there yeah yeah yeah you're. getting [ __ ] in the bathroom like if i. ever get. [Laughter]. he goes in there for a smoke too he's. sneaking away for a smoke just to get. [ __ ] yeah yeah by the big gangster. i think dude i think as a male as me. i think i probably would do something.

like that. what [ __ ] a because i don't want to die. i don't want to die. that's the number one thing i'd rather. never die right so i think i'd be i'd. make decisions. based on survival and i think that i. would definitely a [ __ ] that guy with a. tattoo on his neck together you turning. on your friends. yeah i will turn on you are you just. looking out for you no. yeah that would be bobby bobby's special. would be called turning down your. friends and him just facing. like this away from the camera yeah.

putting your back out you know what i do. with the with the with the um. what's it called what the tug of war hug. a war i was just tied his whole body to. the end of it. like an anchor right and it was just on. your stomach wait hold on you just lay. there as an ankle i think that's what i. did and then hold on a second. [Music]. yeah yeah. hold on a second fatty. please please let him know. he'll.

[Laughter]. i know i'm just saying what i would do. would you do that if like under the. circumstances i would just be like eric. get to the end with a timeline around. your body you're actually the old guy. you're actually really the old guy who. did all this. and he's going to die in a bed. oh. yeah yeah you're you're a psycho who. planned all this. yeah the whole time just a toy with. people yeah that's what bobby would do. if he got all that money he would just.

puppeteer chaos like that if he was that. rich no i said i if i was in that show i. would have died in the van. on the way there that's the way yeah you. didn't say that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. just for you. phobia griff where'd you just come back. from i texted you where were you i used. tampa i used griff's phone number to get. free wi-fi unfortunately yeah and always. know too i always know wait like i get a. text message on the go go flight thing. yeah yeah yeah because if you're a. t-mobile t-mobile which is no one i know. other than griff. i got t-mobile. what are you talking about size-wise.

okay so i think you look good there all. right no no no [ __ ] you i think you look. good so no no [ __ ] you. you and i are in a text stream and. somebody sent this to us. and i went directly to the store and i. go delete this photo. why you look and they still haven't. deleted it what's wrong with that i look. like i'm dying right then and there yeah. you know. like everything just imploded in my body. yeah and that's it that's the second it. looks like he took a really hot [ __ ] in. his butt. and he's trying to pull his pants up. like ah.

you know what you know what you know. when a like a. pastry chef like is piping out icing out. of a bag you look like an icing bag 100. oh for sure. i like this there's like mustard in it. no you know what that photo looks like. if i was the boston marathon runner. and my bag exploded like prematurely. so i'm about to plant a [ __ ] baby. [ __ ] up and i'm like. so [ __ ]. [Laughter]. yeah they do this a lot though well i i.

had to they take such bad facts. about one two it was like dude you had. to pick the worst picture of me yeah. yeah yeah no so it's so funny there's. some of the photographers there do a. great job pam doesn't like they do good. jobs and then sometimes they'll pick. i'll see the photos i'll go yo those are. dope and then they'll pick the one that. i go like this where i'm going. like that right and they post that. there's a comic we're working that well. you know i know you know who runs the. account that's why so wait what was up. in tampa what did you do. splitters how was it it was all right. why just all right it's just all right. man what's up. i think a lot of these places you never.

played tampa club i played the sides. well no the houston club. improv used to be in the old old side. slitters. you ever see play that club was there. walking houston they're used to used to. you walked in and what it was the lobby. was trees but not just trees like. rainforest cafe exactly but they had the. trees inside the building. right and on the walls it's all branches. and trees it looked like a cauldron. what's a cauldron no. what is it you mean a dungeon no what.

you it looked like a what's a cauldron a. cauldron is a is a witch brew thing like. a they would make a cauldron. that looks like a place where they maybe. you know like double double. in trouble that's a cauldron that's a. cauldron that's look that's a cauldron. all right we have one at the studio it. looks like the club used [ __ ] it man it. just looks like it was a cauldron. factory say it was like rainforest cafe. but houston it wasn't it was darker it. was fine though yeah. let's go back to science. florida crowds are i mean look and they. don't have to do vaccine [ __ ] down there.

do they yeah they they don't give a [ __ ]. down there wild yeah. something happened to me in florida the. first thing that. first time it has and it'll never happen. again. i did a double before kalala. you had a threesome no i made love to. two girls. in one night before the show after the. show. both after the show you said like it was. like a you come at this time you come at. this i feel like crying just thinking. about it because you're emotional you. miss it could you miss it yeah yeah.

it was just a miracle from god i think. how how did it happen okay so i met a i. don't know if i said i was a manager's. daughter a what preacher's daughter oh. he's not gonna you think he listens to. this [ __ ] podcast i don't want her to. listen she was really angry at her. [Laughter]. i'll go [ __ ] a fat asian guy dad how. about that maniago laugh i hear coming. from the other room andres the best.

fancy hey hey hey tits what are you. laughing at oh boy here we go. he's talking to you uh doc oh oh i'm all. right i'm over here just. in my phone a little bit my bad i didn't. even know. y'all was talking about uh dude. jules is really running the car. what man he's not out here doing the. cars.

one of the girls was a preacher's. daughter yeah. and um. and the other girl was what happened was. she left my hotel and i met another girl. a college student. you're outside smoking a cigarette and a. girl walked by no. i should exchange my so when i was with. the preacher's daughter i'd exchange my. numbers with another girl she goes i. mean i left i left my group where where. are you at or where you at so i went to. the looked at the pictures that i got. you got to get out of here because i. have to do radio in the morning. she left.

and then when the elevator reopened it. was the other girl wow she was like one. of those nights that was mad that's. magic yeah and then a little visine drop. came out on my pee pee. that's all you had in there that's all i. had left in there for the second one for. the second one no no the first the first. one. yeah the second one the poll is. who's more disappointed is the pole the. first girl who got you know all of it.

there's a lot of protein there dude i. mean it's like you know. but you guys are you're probably so. excited oh my god you're probably so. excited that you just yeah i was excited. too pump yeah yeah two pump for sure has. that ever happened to you. what two girls in one night yes. [Laughter].

yeah she reminds me of the lady that. owns the funny bone in nebraska omaha i. never did it i never did oh my god you. got to play omaha nebraska because the. lady that runs a club is like 1960s like. a rock like she loved the stones but she. still has that energy like she used to. go to shows. somebody.

discretion is advised. that's why he's here yeah hey you'll. learn about doc doc's greatest doc's. greatest contribution to the show is is. burying whatever he's saying underneath. whatever someone else is saying. we'll be talking he'll just throw it. underneath and i'll just stop well. before we even get to this the peeing i.

love peeing no you have to can we talk. about his tits hat first go on. what. it feels like you it's like a guy who. doesn't get any girls buying a ferrari. oh yeah it's like it's a weird. advertising what like a keychain for the. because if you can buy a ferrari you. don't wear trucker hats yeah yeah you. don't think i'm projecting good energy. i'm not. bringing a [ __ ] the kid likes tits. what's wrong with that that's your out. of the body. you would say the tits is the most. important. they're nice i know but is that your.

favorite thing i know they're nice we. all love them. do you think they're nice man oh wait. there you go why don't you wear an ass. hat then. because then it would be like you're an. asshat you know what i mean oh. you see this. you walk in you're in 7-eleven and a. dude walks up and he's got a tits hat on. are you like immediately like ooh. what's your first thought what's your. first thought.

i'm sorry doc but it looks stupid oh. yeah there we go that's america. that's definitely important you can take. it off. it was in the studio did you oh did you. write tits on there yourself oh it was. in here it was in here oh you just wore. a random app. okay you know whose hat that is. oh yeah pete that's right pete when he. leaves the house when he leaves his wife. and kids he's right and get my tits out. in the car yeah and he drives here and. he's just so excited because he can say. stuff like that out in public when he's. not at home he does have great tits.

doesn't it have great tits the best in. this and the best in this video so. perfectly like. proportionally you know sometimes when. they're tit sweats it's only like in the. tip of it do your tits been sweating. lately oh yeah man you had dude in in in. mexico the funniest tit sweat he had. when we went out to dinner i mean it was. like a little little crescent moon right. under your little titties but that's. because we bombed yeah that's true yeah. that is true when i bomb in front of 800. people i get like crescent moon.

sweat. oh my god if you were there at that show. you would imagine him on that stage oh. yeah because he got big titties here's. the titties what really does. he love. this is why i'm here this is this. this is wow thank you doc black on black. crime yeah yeah yeah that's what i like. don't let these two. do this to you all right this is what. they do white people have been doing. this for years. this is why um you know martin luther.

king and malcolm x didn't get along. right two [ __ ] like this oh. yeah yeah. could you imagine i go up to malcolm x. and mike listen i don't know if you've. heard but yeah. that's how they talk. is that what you think we're doing we're. trying to pick you guys yeah i'm a. minority. yeah not right now not really no you. guys are you guys are on the way up. right now you think i'll feel it tv.

shows. you know what i mean you're doing too. well yeah yeah so he does have big tits. i'll expand on that. you know they they supple you know what. i mean like. what the [ __ ] you want me to say you got. it. to a nice level yeah all right enough i. want to see i want you to see okay. all right so this chick is what's her. name bilbo baggins over here. see when you say stuff like that he he.

thinks that's him yeah i know that'll be. careful. [Laughter]. you just call me dildo. yeah dildo. all right oh yeah he's. she's a rockstar lady so i'm going to. imagine i bought tickets to this woman's. show yeah i have all her albums yeah i. cannot wait i got front row this is. great she brings a guy on stage by the. way by the way mind you. context this guy wants this this is not. this is not. oh my god i can't believe that happened. like when uh. yeah he said nothing about him no this.

is all about her yeah. check this out. he's laying down yeah. oh my god. oh he has to go to the bathroom really. bad yeah really bad oh my god i mean. it's unbelievable by the way this is not. just like i got a little tinkle this is. like when the hose you know when you. open the hose after it's been after it's. been kinked yeah yeah this is just like. after you just after you untangle the. hose watch this ready oh you'll notice. you'll know yeah she's getting ready to.

load up. i mean my on his face look at that spray. yeah on his face this idiot wha what. percentage of that liquid is [ __ ] juice. i mean look he's shaking his head off. and he's smiling is it all urine. i mean there's no lubrication juice in. there no there's something and he's. pumping his fists as she goes away oh. wow this dude's amped as [ __ ]. yeah he's not the problem no no no no no. yeah that's just a lie have you ever had. somebody pee on you. no but i've watched porn where they pee.

sometimes i'll put in pee. don't you do that in your shower. [Music]. thank you. [Laughter]. we know it's all right it's a good size.

it's been out there thank you thank you. well look let me say this since we have. two uh uh pocs uh in the room i'm not i. don't consider you a person of color. why because you're just not i am you're. just not. bro it's like it's so funny because in. the kkk would i be able to join. that's right well you're asking the. right guy. yeah yeah would i. you're you don't have no kung pao yeah. there's only. this [ __ ] guy.

taking it to the next. [Laughter]. you know what asmr is. no what is that it's where people. whisper into the mic they turn the gain. up real high and they whisper and they. they touch the mic or they or they'll. have like somebody who'll be hitting. their phone like this or cutting. something smooth like cutting styrofoam. i love that yeah i do love it too when i. do love it well i sometimes i go. at night three in the morning and i i.

just put it on youtube i'll have a girl. just start chewing something in my ear. you like that oh yeah it puts me right. out. really wait what is this here. what is this all right show the pickle. video show this girl she's famous dude i. can't believe this has 37 million views. so people like to hear it opening here. out it's like but the game is like. really high yeah so you can you hear. every little thing that's what they. can't hear right now they put those on.

now she's showing the pickle jar there. let's just get to her eating one until. she wears this bright red lipstick and. people like this. i love this dude i love it i can go to. sleep right now really oh yeah. oh i love it this woman eating is just. so i cannot stand that people eat and. listen i'm cool with like cut. that's the way you want to slap people. when they eat like that. all right all right enough enough enough. enough jesus christ i can't take that. anymore my god.

how do you like that bob. i don't know. i mean it's it but does it turn you on. or it soothes your heart is my soul it. it i think about other things than. whatever is going on in my mind. so i don't know i just focus on the. sound you know when people are ripping. things up or going i like the scenarios. where they go. you're at a new space station. um put your id code in this hand thing. and you put your hand there i act it out. you do yeah so i go okay and put the. hand. right and now you're sitting in the.

lounge and your ship is gonna take off. in uh 2300 hours right and i go and i. respond i go okay thank you can i sit. here yeah you know i do my own dialogue. but she doesn't she doesn't answer she. doesn't answer me back no no you're just. calling me sitting there she goes all. right i just need to fill out this. paperwork. how tall are you five nine like a. response. all right.

stop honestly. if i'm almost legal dwarf uh-oh what the. [ __ ] is he a dwarf yeah and apple's over. here is he dwarf legal legal legal he's. a legal dwarf he's got a license at the. shire.

wait are there black hobbits i don't. think they would go doc where you been. see if there's any black hobbits i don't. think so no that's none. [Laughter]. doc shows up they're like oh my gosh. were you in a fire what happened. i'll tell you what andrew when i'm on. the road and i'm even in la. if i'm in hawaii i use doordash it's my. number one food delivery system by far. because they have the most options. they're the most precise. and they're very nice people and uh.

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your first order when you download the. doordash app in the app store and enter. code bad friends 2021. don't forget. that's code bad friends 2021 for 25 off. your first order with doordash subject. should change terms apply upstart. i've had so many credit card worries of. my life god what's the most you ever. owed thousands thousands and thousands. thousands and upon thousands i think. mine was seventeen thousand dollars hey. listen. uh that was eighteen thousand oh was. mine was nineteen. if you're carrying a credit card balance. month after month it can feel like. you're in a never-ending cycle of debt. with no end in sight upstart can help.

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but like. with dwarfs and it's like they're cr. like doc's a criminal door. [Laughter]. i love that show idea that is good yeah. but what's this keep going. oh you want to be in it well he just. wants to roll in something yeah. doc we could get you in that. the problem is we don't even know if doc. can act. i think he can yeah i'm good i think. i've done seriously have i done scenes.

with you before. no okay he can't he can't. you don't know how do you know i don't. know i did a scene with griffin did you. guys do a scene together yeah what was. that oh that was brett ernst's. comedy special yeah what is that what do. you guys do he like like one of those. little intro things i was like the. principal of his school oh right you. know and he was like he was like a young. young brat and what he played like. he was a janitor i believe i was a 12. year old i was supposed to be a 12 year. old grown ass dude who looks.

who's 12 year old who looks grown as. [ __ ] that was written for you yeah well. that's a funny joke that's a funny joke. it's very funny yeah very funny and what. was your line do you remember my line. was uh because he was sitting at his. desk it's on youtube. it is bring it up i'm going to say it's. so let's see you're acting on youtube. yeah and we'll give and we'll give you a. one thing what is it what's a call griff. because he actually released it on. youtube it's just brett ernst brett. ernst special look at ernst you are not. e-r-n-e-r-n-s-t yeah e-r-n-s-t.

next. oh my god how old are you. i'm 12 o'clock. [Applause]. now what you want with delante. [Music]. scene stealer. 100. scene stealer all right wait can you. back up and just freeze frame on doc. just pause it on doctors. that was a shock.

because i never seen you wear with. without glasses oh yeah. look at him you know you can tell he. can't see [ __ ]. they're like doc you're looking right. here you're looking right here buddy. [Laughter]. jesus christ. you look good dude that's so funny. because i forget after all this time of. knowing you when you had a mustache for. as long as i've known you oh that's. correct and then now gone never i. haven't like it's here but it's just.

connected to me i know but it's the face. is remarkably different when we when. when you met him he had the mustache. yeah. when's the last thing you were shaved. never i never i think i did once on this. show for a bit and it was bad i look. weird now with shaved. when you got rid of all your if you get. rid of everything yeah i look weird i. don't look like myself what's this name. on billions did it too who for the. second half of billions uh giamatti oh. paul gmail right he shaved his face oh. yeah it's crazy yeah it just doesn't. look like the same guy like bring him up.

were you shaved on undateable. when you did the episode on undead i. didn't do undateable okay no thanks doc. i'm sorry that was. real that's a dark moment. were you how do you even were you on. that show i was an extra owner i thought. you would did an episode on undead he. was doing the exact same thing he was. sitting at the bar. oh.

look at this look at he looks so weird. now yeah no hair on the face or the head. that's for the show. he did it for the show but he has hair. in the show it's the top left one i. think is more like what's going on right. now in the billions yeah. yeah yeah yeah. i was so used to him having the facial. hair right i know right that's so weird. to see him without all that [ __ ] anytime. i see a showtime show that's still. thriving i just go. [Laughter]. oh because can we announce.

that these two were on a show announce. everybody knows it yeah i'd like to. announce it oh please. these two fine gentlemen we're on a show. call i'm dying up here. on showtime. and what i've seen from the show. you two were remarkable. you've never watched one episode what. are you talking about. name one episode name anything that. happens i'm right now watching i'm gonna. correct you my friend okay i'm right now. watching secession uh-huh. not the show that we're on i know i. understand that that's what i'm watching.

okay yeah and i've recently watched. i'm caught up. i saw first two up seasons. they're recent though and i couldn't. tell you what episode is one episode. you're talking about on succession on. succession my point is is that there's. no way i could throw you because that. was a couple years ago when i saw this. you don't remember one scene. yes i do i didn't watch it it's okay. because i know you know why i know he. didn't watch it i know you know why. because his jealousy could not let him. watch it all right he would just see. that and be like i can act too i'm.

dramatic i'm a comic why couldn't i be. on this that's true you did ask me why. you couldn't be on the show and i said. there were no asian comics back then. yeah that's a fact well because i. auditioned. for stand up boom. i had to fight for the right to perform. as well all right i gotta fight for my. stuff no all right so let me [ __ ]. talk right now well they'll make an. asian version that's what they're doing. now we auditioned i'm a.

uh. so. we auditioned for the same night i. remember jim carrey was there yeah we're. in the audience when he was at the store. you're talking about yeah when he was at. the store and in my head i'm like i. honestly i was like. this is my chance. really you had to get into did you rip. that night i ripped you ripped. okay first of all and i think i've said.

this here but like you know that night i. was furious why adam comes up to me and. says hey eric jim terry's here you know. what i said to him is he bumping me oh. i was so i was so mad yeah i was like. this [ __ ] got 300 million. dollars and he coming into the club. bumping people i need this tuesday 15. this is my time and i was pacing i went. up on stage and that's why i killed yeah. because i was so bad yeah that's funny. they told me later like you know it was. a whole production cruise here and i was. like oh [ __ ].

yeah that michael was there in them so. when you guys actually was doing it. there was jealousy. really yeah because weren't you doing. love at the same time. yeah but he's like you know we can't. explain bobby bobby's like a kid that. has. a hundred toys in front of him right. yeah and then kids come over and they. pick up the shittiest toy and he goes. like this that's mine it's my toy my. favorite one yeah it's mine are you out. of your [ __ ]. that's what i'm [ __ ] doing right now. yes. i'm being vulnerable and being honest.

and i'm telling you that i felt a little. jealous i was happy for you guys no you. weren't you weren't yes i was and what. where in what regard were you happy. in every regard you don't yes i do in. every regard let me say something just. watch the show. okay don't do your homework don't do. this right because there's other things. i want to watch. all right but i want to say this right. now for the record yeah okay i like it. you look good yeah i don't know. i'm gonna do it again.

this is great any time. [Laughter]. for. okay. and this is gonna sound so pretentious. coming out of my mouth. here we go guys this is so pretentious. and gross can't wait can't wait but i. don't hang out.

go ahead i don't hang out. with anybody. who's not the top of the comedy. oh you're saying we're lucky to be in. your presence no that's what i'm saying. i'm just saying i gotta feel them that's. not what i'm saying. i'm blessed. to be around you guys because you guys. are the top of your fields. right and i get to learn did you have. therapy today no where is this coming. from no i have to learn honestly. sitting here right now.

looking at you and seeing you it. inspires me this is such fun it inspires. me at every second and i never really. could pinpoint what that feeling was. i would always have that feeling around. you it's one of those feelings where. you're on the top of a roller coaster. and you're about to fall you know what i. mean excitement what about me bob no not. you not at all never i'm never going to. feel that way about yourself no i'm. never going to feel that about you ever. right. and let me see let me say something. right now okay. you ever.

we should have had another season we. just needed one more season no no the. one more season that's all we did one. more season you know and then we would. have been able to start like what was. the show that you only got six episodes. out of what was the one that you were on. you know animal practice no no that. wasn't. that one too though right but that was. on the call sheet it was like monkey. [Laughter].

he's talking about the jenna fisher show. the fisher show that's the one bobby was. acting his ass off in that show though. can i tell you something we watch i. watch a couple episodes yeah me too and. i i was actually very happy what you did. on the show and can i say this right now. yeah i don't live with you right. we don't live together that's correct. we're friends we see each other every. once in a while we work together right. yeah people that have lived with me. haven't seen anything you got something. to say for yourself yeah. you paying for your own phone bill yet. i'm just curious no okay who's paying.

for that. you. how much is it a month i don't even know. because it could be a million dollars. i would [ __ ] pay it why don't you. watch bobby's stuff is what we're. curious i've seen the first episode of. splitting up together. all right have you seen any mad tv. episodes. no what's splitting up together that was. this. that was what it was called yeah oh i. forgot the name of that show i saw him. when he played connie you know what. though. [ __ ] you man [ __ ] you that was good but.

in bobby's defense though i don't always. like watching stuff with people that we. know no it's true you know i watched one. episode of whitney and almost blew my. head off yeah but you don't you don't. like sitcoms anymore exactly but it was. like but even undateable and that's. another one that i just like but a cable. show if your friend was on a cable show. watch exactly yeah cable shows single. cam yeah yeah cause the first time i. actually started talking to you was you. were on that i liked mixology yeah you. know that's all i read for. he did read for that was very funny they.

actually asked me if i knew you but can. i tell you why did you [ __ ] on them. they literally were like do you know no. i didn't i didn't i didn't actually read. i showed up right and a guy next to me. said you know who else is reading for. this i go who and he said andrew santino. and i left that's not true yes we were. not out for the same i left yes it was. for that role and i left the audition so. that you can get it. congratulations that's the first but. it's so funny he says that because like. we were we i would always see you in. audition rooms and i'd be like. and if we if we're going for the same.

part i'm like they don't know what they. want we did it often me him ian edwards. one time me him and ian edwards in the. same [ __ ] i don't know what's one. thing we have in common. comedy guy guys comedy guys yeah they. wanted nothing else yeah but we looked. at each other like well this character. doesn't yeah yeah they don't know what. they want so when i so when we're in in. the i'm dying up here um test yeah and i. see you and then i know i'm not going. for the same role. ah this is great we were mean we knew we. had it there was two of two other people. in the room and we knew we had it they. were so nervous yeah because they.

weren't they were they weren't comedians. right no they were actors yeah yeah yeah. they were both like like like highly. regarded new york theater actors yeah. because if i was in the lobby and i was. a theater actor and it was for a. stand-up and i saw any wonder you guys. come in yeah i'd leave i would probably. leave see i would leave that same it's. the same if it was opposite if i'm. trying to break into a category like. broadway or something i don't and i see. one of the best and if i'm out i'm not. going to go up against that [ __ ] dude. when i'm on this other show in new york. and i talked to there's a guy that i. work with that's a broadway actor so.

much tmz on you by the way i see [ __ ]. videos every day of you with sarah. jessica parker it's getting old yeah. some people tag me in it all the [ __ ]. times i'm sick it looks like a fetish. but i'm not sure who has the fetish hurt. that's a good one. what did you say doc oh sarah jessica i. was asking her sarah jessica parker from. sex in the city. thank you doc's like a weird 4-1-1. operator. [Laughter].

from a different country in another. country. we're not even the same. country this is what google used to be. that's what that's right i represent. italy and all the people no that's ask. jeeves that's not good. yeah i look like a ghost you know it. gives you because it gives you the wrong. answer so stupid. yeah no but i just. it's something weird about i don't know. it's like when you know people it's like. it's rare that you see your when you see. your friend doing something. unless the unless it's something that. they they really transform sometimes. it's hard to like or if it's their.

personal show yeah they made the show. that's what's hard i don't like looking. at that you know you go ah this is just. people i know and it's kind of weird but. then like you know mark maron i like i. like seeing him you know on on on like. he's on things glow yeah glow yeah. the joker joker was he was great yeah. he's playing this guy and you just go. but part of that is you just go ah look. at him because it's mark yeah yeah. yeah when it comes to his success i tell. this to them all the time when a guy. like that succeeds i'm 100. so supportive because he went through.

hell yeah i mean he's been around for so. [ __ ] long. and it's like a lot of these guys you. look at some of these guys they they. never got their do. he's gotten his due for a long time now. i know but he's one of the lucky ones. you look at other guys that just never. get it from his generation from his. generation yeah i guess it's like it's. like most of those guys quit they're not. around anymore oh they went into. something else a lot of people directors. writers directing producing that kind of. stuff yeah they got smart yeah they got. the [ __ ] out of stand up yeah no [ __ ]. yeah because as a doorman i saw back in.

the 90s when i was a dorm at the store. guys you don't even we never see anymore. but it's like what do these people do. yeah think of the people that you went. to do what you were doing open mics with. i think about this all the time man i. just go hey what happened to this guy. what happened to that guy you ever try. to find him on facebook or something oh. man cause then they're gonna be you know. i just i don't know i mean it didn't. work out cause what would you say yeah. what would i even say hey i'm killing it. what are you doing. [Laughter]. he's like oh i'm a investor in a food. truck only only plus i would ever oh i. don't know you ever want to run into. your ex.

like a xx that like did you wrong while. you're doing well yeah you're doing well. yeah i mean that's. that's what we're doing here that's true. that's this whole thing. buffy. i like to sleep in puffy. buffy betting is earth friendly and. cruelty free we've spent sleepless. nights worrying about the impact of the. betting industry has in the environment. so we decided to change it says buffy. our products are made using only. sustainable and recycled materials which. makes them soft one of the greatest.

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experience younger and we're just trying. to get back at something why the reason. we do comedy yeah it's either it's one. of two things i think you're either very. smart and you understand communication. in people very well and you're able to. communicate normal things in a very. unique way and people foundation. i don't think i think this they all have. that. she can hear it or. you're an idiot. and you know nothing else yeah. yeah. yeah yeah.

i think that's more me. no no yeah yeah i don't know i don't. know much i think about i will say about. bobby is like bobby is like. like idiots. if you had to define whatever funny is. yeah just bobby bean himself is. hilarious that's correct yeah like you. yourself are funnier than the things you. do on stage and and you're funny on. stage wow that's a burn that's a burn in. a weird way yeah that's awesome. that hurts so bad like your skill level.

right doesn't represent itself no on. stage no no no that's not but when. you're just in your bathroom. right you're walking around the mountain. you're [ __ ] funny. but what he just did worked. i i. followed it up with and you're really. funny on stage it right he did. it's like asking you know back in the. barn barnum and bailey like barnum and. bailey right back in the day right still. around and you saw the hairy face boy.

right yeah yeah and it's like he was. born that way he has no skill that's. what you're saying no then i'm like a. freakish guy who you're the same with an. extra arm on my head if you're saying. look at me laugh laugh you know what. it's equivalent in a sense that not. everybody's born with a hairy face. so not everybody's born with there's. bobby the funny no you're more like the. hairy face boy that can also juggle. there's a couple of hairy face boys. that's totally well you can she's got. like a skill extra skill.

you're the hairy face boy. but you know they can't all climb a tree. he can climb a [ __ ] tree that's why. he gets paid the extra money because. they're like you know the hairy face kid. it's like yeah that's poor no no by the. way i don't i want to reiterate this. yeah mm-hmm this was you know i know it. sounds like a burn and we burn each. other that's what we do. 100. you are so funny okay i don't need to no. no no no no no no [ __ ] you just let him. finish no no you i'm telling you. i don't know there's something about you. and this is why this podcast is so. successful it's why like you know you're.

jeff there's something that like you. have that thing man that's the essence. of what funny is. yours. [Music]. well you know how some like when you're. sometimes. people are like mean. and then you have funny mean. yeah funny funny me yeah funny mean yeah. still mean though nonetheless yes okay. but it's good yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. but it's good you make a living yeah. it's working all right let's go to doc.

okay so if you have like can i see him. park. tom cru tom cruise was in rain man okay. you're the other guy. [Laughter]. right okay. real quick. what i'm right there with tom though. right yeah oh that feels good. yes he is rain man but he's also next to. tom cruise yeah you're next to him yeah. for sure but he doesn't know because. yeah you don't know that you're an. extrovert no honestly who's who's rudy.

who's rudy rudy's rudy no who is she in. this world that we're speaking about i. have no idea she's. what's her kind of funny. honesty. it's like an alien no it's this. it's an alien. spacecraft. that they like they're like. zipping by our solar system. right and they're like hold up we don't. have to be on in. to ontario let's just made up a [ __ ]. ontario. planet that's a planet we have to be the. ontario have you played that improv.

great club yeah ontario if you just go. to space you go east who books that yeah. yeah yeah that's where you'll find it oh. yeah right and it's like we don't have. to beat ontario until like next week. i heard about this planet called earth. oh yeah let's capture one oh and they. capture they go to the philippines. right and they see her no shoes yep you. know what i mean they're highlights. digging digging a ditch or something. right and they. they discover her and they bring her to.

another planetary showcase right and. that's what she is for this that's. interesting. you got it you know why i went through. all that none of it makes any sense what. it just said no have you ever felt like. you might have been abducted or anything. like that have you ever had experience a. supernatural experience with a ufo no. anything at all nothing this is your. chance to make something up. yeah. [Laughter]. you know what that's kind of spooky that. she went from like nothing to like yeah. you know what we're going to make she's.

very mark zuckerberg. dude did you see that clip of mark. zuckerberg was like someone he's like. well that's because you're human and i. was you i am human. have you seen that and everyone in the. crowd is like what and he goes. [Laughter]. have you seen this [ __ ] oh my god look. at this mark zuckerberg i am i was human. i am human because because rudy. sometimes shows signs of. not being from here but it is going to. bother you because you're human and and. i was human i am human but i was just. referring to myself in the past.

[Laughter]. now play it again let me look at how. fast he skipped. bother you because you're human and and. i was human i am human but i was just. referring to myself in the past um. tell me that's not a little strange you. know what you know what really bugs me. though for real tell me that's not. strange all these people who are like. super successful super rich super like. it's the as if they got to be weird like. this they all have to be just there's. gotta be something kind of quirky or.

something are we screwed. are we scrutinizing them though. like we were so full wow what's so funny. did i say the word wrong. no you give me an example how are you. supposed to say that word are we. scrutinizing them is that what you said. yeah are we focused in the details of it. of course if i see an andrew santino. interview i don't know a million wrong. things. i don't observe all those things but i'm. also not a little rich. are we observing is that what it is well. because we want to defend the [ __ ].

guy no we like to we'd like to think. that you want to think that whatever. normal is or whatever you know you would. think that can that person like that end. up being like a you know 50 billionaire. i would do weird if i was a billionaire. i would do weird [ __ ] during it i pray. to god you don't become a billionaire. i'd just be like. i don't know if he could get there like. what the [ __ ] was that doing all kind of. dumb [ __ ] before he got to that that's. true you'd never get there you'd keep. [ __ ] it up yeah you'd be you could. become a hundred millionaire maybe. what do you mean. i don't think you can get to a billion i. think you'd [ __ ] it up.

what's so funny man i just. is that a real statement you'd [ __ ] it. up. if i got to 800 million you think that i. couldn't get to a billion for some. reason no. what do you think i would do i don't. know you'd find a way to [ __ ] it up yeah. you know you know you know how he plays. those games and he spends so much money. on them he would actually build the sim. city right you know what i mean he would. have like construction crews going like. no move this over here it would be like. a whole thing. what that's so what that what that's. that's that sounds like 1.5 million.

dollars see. this is what we're talking about that's. not a lot you've always calculated that. processing in your head is 1.5 million. for that room so what else because i'm. like i have 800 million if you had 800. like you'd be the kind of guy that you'd. buy a private jet take it to a place. yeah i just want a new one yeah and then. you'd leave it yeah you would do that no. i would think andy'd get a monitor in. the xbox. a new one a new one no i would take a. private jet and go can you turn this. into a bed. right so they cut it you know i mean got.

it out right now they use that as my bed. and they're like uh mr lee we do need to. get back to the united states at some. point. buy a new plane you just buy a new plane. i would probably he is right though you. know how michael jordan they used to say. he would leave he would wear a pair of. shoes and a new pair of socks every game. he never wore this. shoe twice yeah you're that guy you do. that with everything you would do that. with xboxes you'd bring them or you'd. have someone buy a bunch you'd leave. them everywhere all the time your. budgets would be like 50 grand a day on. [ __ ]. yeah because knowing you you would just. be like well i don't [ __ ] i can just. buy more what was that movie isn't there.

a movie where somebody inherits a bunch. of boosters willie millions that's the. movie and then the name. no but rich it was a remake that's the. remake right richard pryor was the. remake yes yeah the original was not. with it was like he was he was higher he. he inherited a bunch of money and the. thing was if you can can if you could. spend 30 million dollars in 30 days. you'll inherit 300 million dollars yeah. that's what it was so which i could do. easily easy i'd like to highly recommend. a movie but you couldn't make any money.

on it though can i can i recommend a. movie. t-tan. tetane teton tetane have you seen it. spell it. t-i-t-a-n-e. titan it is can you use it in a sentence. yeah i. have a tetane oh that's a detain right. there. i thought you did the movie. just right movie titan i thought your. t-team was that space between your balls. and your [ __ ] that's your taint. oh this is good this movie right here. dude is the most [ __ ] up movie i've.

ever seen in my life judging on that. photo of that woman even more than old. boy oh yeah this is [ __ ] up so [ __ ]. look at the woman in the vice that grip. look at that i had to pause this movie. every five minutes my kaleila and i and. we had to walk away from it oh i hate. that see i don't want to watch that [ __ ]. did you see that jake gyllenhaal movie. on netflix where he's a cop no. dude it is so like disturbing for no. reason right. what's it called. the guilty like what's in it. well he's like a 9-1-1 operator but he.

like is a cop that did something bad and. that's why he's 9-1-1 operator right now. and then some [ __ ] happens on this 9-1-1. call and it's just like the whole how. the whole thing plays out you like no. one right you know what i mean you'd. like no one it's don't don't watch that. movie though is there a hero you hero. you want everyone in that movie really. yeah but you somehow want. to see it unfold all right so look we. had video submissions um. for uh i want i want a little bit of. black magic and uh let's play let's see. some of the people that are in the mood. for doc no they ask there we go.

a little black magic or it's a double. entendre little black magic kelsey good. morning. it is. 9 10 a.m ignore the messy room in the. background. um and i want a little black magic in my. life. you see i've been seeing this guy and i. bought tickets to go to this comedy show. on december 4th at the balboa theater in. san diego it's my show and he said he. was down to go but he's just not that. into comedy.

but it turns out i'm just not that into. him oh yeah um so i need a date for the. show. okay bye. oh my god doc you're yo you gotta take. this girl to come see me live you also. get to see me do an hour which is great. was she using that [ __ ] guy no dude. she's seeing a guy she's a fan she wants. to come see me do stand up i'm supposed. to just get in the middle of a love. triangle she's going to break up with. him first. she jesus. break up with the first and then you can.

go on the [ __ ] thing. [ __ ] oh man you just. okay. wait a minute doc you see this girl yeah. she's cute she's very cute okay so so so. she wants a date was she smoking weed or. was that a cigarette she was smoking. weed what does it matter if she's not. weak or anything hey dog because you. have a vagina not a cigarette but a. little weed okay i feel you wait a. minute wait a minute i think you should. have a little bit higher standard than. that a little bit oh my god. wait a minute.

doc yeah she seems like a down ass [ __ ]. she smokes she's chill and she's willing. to leave this dude who dorked out on her. and doesn't want to come to the show for. you all you have to do is go down there. and that's a free date that's what it. sounds like she's trying to get a. freebie out of me too just because no. she has a ticket tickets already man oh. she already said okay using you to get. into the [ __ ] show you're gonna have. to pay he's not gonna let go put you on. the list i'm not i i am definitely gonna. make you pay you're gonna be paying. just willing to just throw a dude to the. side like that that's that right there.

that's just evil. what what did he what did you say. doug promised his mom never to be in a. love triangle again oh that's why that's. right all right is that what it is yeah. you got to stick to your principles. all right so so let me let me clarify. this for the for the fans and including. uh what this young woman's name is i. forgot what did it say what was it. kelsey okay so you're telling kelsey you. just want to end the race. because you think. you don't want to be a part of her. breaking up with the guy to be with you.

to hang with you yeah just to hang where. she can hang. you're coming regardless you don't have. a [ __ ] choice you have a problem. like i said she [ __ ] said she'll dump. this dude for me no no no no she's not. gonna date she doesn't want to dump slow. down over there romeo she didn't say all. that oh i thought she wanted to get the. dragon she just don't want to be alone. at this concert.

she did say she doesn't i'm not into him. so i think the relationship's over yeah. he doesn't like comedy she's a big. comedy fan right you're a [ __ ]. comedian this is perfect perfect is it. yeah okay. she's also loaded. yeah she's rich right which is great. but because she has two tickets no she's. high it was one of my favorites oh i. thought you meant rick no she's hot. she's not oh she which is a good thing. she could be rich too yeah. because she was sober she would have. never. made the video.

there would be no video. let me tell you something okay i like. this for you and i know you may not want. to do this but you're doing it you're. doing it for whatever you want and you. have to be nice and we'll give you cash. why wouldn't i be nice to her why are we. giving him a. date bobby what is this ten things i. hate about you now yeah doesn't do. ballet or anything like that is he no. he's got he he yeah. we'll give you get mad at the parking. garage. we'll give you some cash to take her out. on a nice date yeah that would be. awesome you know what we should do is. that how you park the car get it this is.

it i'm calling it right now. we're setting up we're going to you're. coming to san diego okay. we are setting up a nice dinner spot for. you before the show bobby and i will pay. for a very nice steak and you're going. to get a guest set on the show. i don't think there's room. that's rude yeah i know you're being. rude right now dude yeah. it's one show yeah you're being so rude. let me ask if there's i want to let. everyone know i want to i want to let. you know. wait wait wait andrew who are you going.

to ask. i have a team. my time. because she likes comedy he should get. the guest set that'll really close the. deal i also okay how about this you can. get a [ __ ] you get the guest spot you. have to do the dinner you have to take. her on the date yeah let's go okay. so if he gets a guest spot i don't get. one that's right. if dachshund you're out that's how it. goes can't have two so anyone that. bought a ticket for his san diego day. right could have gotten.

me and doc on the same lineup mm-hmm and. you're not gonna do it. how about this we'll see. i'm not coming. what when is the date what is it. december december 4th why would i drive. down there for that. um. we'll we'll leave it up we'll leave it. up to the universe. to the fans we'll leave it up to the. fans all right fans. if you're from san diego you gotta you. bought a ticket to andrew's show you. know i'm going to be at la jolla that. weekend oh you can come out oh you're. competing taking numbers away from each.

other i love that different area i'm. good yeah yeah oh. wow. relax what is that what was that wow. don't do that ken jong don't do that. tonight really yeah let's bring up the. phone why don't you post every [ __ ]. photo with that guy he's the best i love. him so much we talked about you today. what show was dave he's on davey i'm not. shooting dave was he on this island. we've talked this is up or whatever that. is no i'm just called i did a scene in a. movie with charlie for charlie day. charlie. yeah.

and ck isn't it no he just throws that. at he just does he just said that. anyway but look at that me and one of my. best korean friends of all time. now that's a podcast you want to watch. do one with them. you're such a baby. you know what you i want you to try you. know you should be hilarious is if you. just filmed a fake episode of something. just to [ __ ] with him. we talked about it. he's too busy so [ __ ] funny all right. let's move no i wanna let me just let me.

get my [ __ ] two cents in. all right you know what dude i i. sigh like that when i listen to you talk. as well. i know you did it you did it a few times. on the show today already so. you know that doesn't hurt my feelings i. didn't do it to hurt your feelings i'm. emotive getting angry about i'm talking. to you like a civilized human being here. baby we also should all go out that. night yeah no we no let's go out to a. big dinner how about this we go to a. nice dinner and doc is there on a date. and we can watch him what's the date. again. can we get like you know ear buds.

oh hold on i might not be able to come. no we already checked the schedule. because kalyan has gone to hawaii [ __ ]. you're here the whole time. damn it you're coming i'm there december. 4th. let him show the rest of the email. there's emails now we don't have it whoa. my name is chelsea we gonna have to take. a pause we're saying i just farted okay. hold on hold on so i'm i want to hear. rudy read it as her voice because it's a. girl i don't want to read a girl's voice. yeah i don't want to do it wrong get.

closer go ahead rude get real close to. the mic like try to be like a girl like. a sexy girl go ahead try to be her try. to be her try to be try to be her name. is ally try to be ally. um. my name is sally. i am 31. year old barber in sacramento's couch. yeah she's wasted. she on pills i want a little black magic. in my life because i think doc is the. perfect size to walk on my back after a. long day in the shop.

his fade would. always be sharp with me oh she'll fade. you out baby and i have strong stems to. carry him when his little legs get tired. lots of perks here. what do you think man. yo if you [ __ ] this up man no stay on. the photo oh yeah it's down the phone. [ __ ] yeah she's she's very. good-looking. but hey hey hey look at me. you're welcome doc yeah dude i mean. [ __ ] not even a thank you not. everyone.

who's the one i don't need don't don't. even think him [ __ ] who's the one that. called you to be even on this in the. first place i'm talking about this right. now i'm talking about him even being. here in this situation who do you. [ __ ] think the most. think about this whole situation it'll. be you thank you. let's go just do the photo thank you. thank you next photo. no get i want him to assess that. situation all right go to the first. photo god damn it. can he talk to the same girl yeah oh oh. let's see oh yeah this other photo. that's the same girl yeah all right.

scroll down let's go down. fairy oh my god. beautiful blue eyes look at those eyes. dude beautiful look at that i don't want. you to have her yeah i mean either don't. you you want to. save some purity look at that little. that little hole in her lip is where. doc's uh penis could go. that's right that's right. all right scroll down to the next. picture of this beautiful girl yeah this. girl's a [ __ ] babe and she cuts here. and she said she'll fade you out and. she'll [ __ ] line you up all the time.

and carry you know i used to cut hair. too i cut my own hair. don't don't don't put that out in the. unit man i'm feeling. see that's the. you know what i'm saying like that's. [Laughter].

is there more photos. wow she's so pretty she's very pretty. all right there's another one he's. pretty too now that's not here's another. girl oh my god. hi. hi bedfriends team. i'd like to submit myself as a potential. suitor for dog silverman. who the [ __ ] is duck dude remember. silverman oh that's right silverman on. the street that's doc silverman i'm 24. years old that's funny i'm 5'3.

too tall right yeah she's two times yeah. yeah yeah five three shield tower. overnight i mean that's what we're doing. yes so. he could post you up there. i live in dallas texas but i have a. grandmother that lives in la and i'll be. visiting for a month oh shoot during. christmas i'm open to love anyone. whether that person is black or white. small or big or autistic or not. wow that needs to be in there wow that. really needs to wow also i've included.

and i'm not catfishing you with old. pictures but my instagram. is. what is that your girl. your girl. your girl. knick-knack. your girl knick-knack wow. look at her. an all-american white woman not not bad. cheerleading apple pie five three five. three look at this girl she loves she. wants you what would your ancestors say. right now.

that needs some meat. she's too skinny she's too skinny also i. think she's very pretty she's 24. she's. too young. i can't even deal with this [ __ ] it's. like we're trying our [ __ ] best. i can't wait to hear that on the date. yeah.

hey you do cyber security i used to do. mall security we got something in common. yeah from a land far far away there. lived a girl listening to every episode. of bad friends only because of doc only. because of doc. jesus christ. uh love you that's what i'm talking. about he goes oh indian i love you. that's what i'm talking about not to. dishonor you guys i love you too but. this little brown girl from india uh. hoping for a little huge black pole wow.

reasons i should be the one once you try. brown there's no going back that's not a. phrase and it doesn't rhyme. love india red balloon ps read this out. loud on your next episode i'm a medical. student from india you guys keep me. happy zoom into the photography if you. can change huge the standard then we'd. be good. there we go look at her okay. i'm feeling that like the eyebrows no. filter on the face fly around here you. know what i'm saying all right uh coming. at you from melbourne victory there's no. picture no picture move on forget it. move on yeah yeah we don't know.

anybody several people hit me up for. melbourne. oh there is a picture with jess this is. jess's photos okay dude you're getting. [ __ ] babes dude this is so annoying. that doc is getting all these [ __ ]. chicks submitting for him yeah this. ain't new. oh bro. really yeah. they felt that they felt that oh.

now there's people so you say this one's. got a little alley wong going on yeah. can you zoom in on her face please yeah. wow wow doc all right let's hear her. email yeah she got the wine too okay. you don't drink i drink wine what do you. think is in his thermos. a little bit a little bit of pinot noir. here we go first of all thanks for being. such a stellar group of peeps recently. went through a sixth lockdown here in. melbourne australia and i reckon if i. didn't have you dudes to get me through. my depresso would be it would have been. espresso so thank you on to the main.

subject dlc what a dynamite pocket. rocket. you're a little vibrator i have no idea. if you'd have any interest in doing long. distance but hey dating is a weird thing. anyway in it so perhaps i'll give it a. go cause who knows i suppose i got to do. the whole bit about me jargone i'm jess. i'm 30 i have a sister her name is patsy. she she's my life and i work at a cinema. and a bar that's a movie theater doc so. movies and booze and music is me jam i. come from a huge family dad is one of. ten and we are burmese ooh. from burma do you know where burma is i. got a picture of a burmese python with.

me with a burmese python around my neck. this is going to work out. make sure make sure you bring that up. the energy yeah energy with the. connection with these women in the. universe yes so she's got that ethnic. flare. look at what she reads it says right. there she's left-handed and then what's. after that and i saw the movie titan oh. my god. is that [ __ ]. is this real yeah. did that just come out is that why yeah. oh i was like what the [ __ ] whoa yo so. after the most recent gig went to jk. group anyway uh been bombarded with a.

whole bunch of potential but just chuck. this out there if you're a good doc. you're a good egg bobo fire fire crutchy. uh wouldn't be wanted to help you find. this love intensity the fact that you. must have a heart attack best of luck on. your journey cheers bruh jess matlin. what do you think what do you think of. her i think she's nice okay which one. goes first then. can we just like hook up with them all. and just. go from there greedy. oh dude from what he went when he first. started on the show to now it's [ __ ]. insane all right give me another one. give me another one. oh that was the indian girl okay yeah. all right so check it out you've got. some potential suitors doc what are you.

doing over there are you on your phone. yeah i was trying to find a the burmese. with me and a picture of the bourbon we. were so over that man i was. still feeling it i can't tell you how. much we don't give a [ __ ] about this. there's a level. that's the truest thing he's ever said. 100 i don't give a [ __ ] no no he said i. can't tell you. pretty much we don't give a [ __ ] about. that yeah i get that but this is about. me this isn't about you eric this is my.

time oh this is my turn this is my time. bro how was it your date you had your. time i didn't just show up like when i'm. dying like you're doing a podcast. all right so doc you can pick eventually. okay eventually you can pick but we'd. like some sort of an answer soon because. we like the san diego girl san diego was. like san diego. let's let eric decide for you then. because you're being so [ __ ] advanced. you're going to the the show you're.

doing the guest set at andrew's show at. least minimum 10 minutes. and. because the barbershop girl doesn't live. she lives in texas right where did she. live where does she live she's. sacramento sacramento. sacramento's not far at all oh when are. you in sacramento. i'm not but i mean we can pay for her to. fly down should we fly oh my god should. we fly this girl in and have them have. them all come to the show and see and. like a like it's a doc dating show and. have all these girls you have to tape it.

yeah. no no it's not worth it you don't want. to give it it's not worth it no it's too. much money for who but you you're paying. for none of it if you want to spend 1.5. million on money like that on the center. in the same city yeah but you don't want. to fly this chicken so doc can be happy. no. all right so fine the san diego is only. that's what we got we got yeah. hey she's cool peeps this girl right. here. yeah all right dude let's do her we're. linking no don't say that we're linking. it up. go out with her yeah we do that all.

right doc looking look uh look in the. camera there and uh sign us out and say. thanks for being a bad friend on black. monday. thanks for being the. bad friends on blackman. thanks for being able that's the first. one we'll use the first one okay okay. good enough. also i also forgot the name of the show. like right mid-sentence. like mid-sentence yeah black monday in. there so also let's say thank you real. fast to our good friend eric griffin oh. eric i love you so much man thank you so. much for being here truly also who. doesn't have where jules got that from.

yeah the [ __ ] yeah the [ __ ] tone. you know what i mean when it gets like. oh thank you you know now i get it. but do yourself a favor and watch. riffing with griffin and he's also. you're on don't watch it you're on king. of sting all the time yeah yeah yeah no. no absolutely watch it cause griff is. one of the [ __ ] greatest comics uh we. love you thank you for being a bad. friend. i'm a bad friend we some bad friends. yeah we some bad friends crack the. surface just to bring the tito's lives.

down surfing the bottom a turtle island. bout to dive down and i see freddy. krueger rudy with the knives out kalila. be pimping and living while bobby in the. dog house i heard santino used to suffer. bad acne i'm trying to be a star like. bobby lee on mad tv they call me plato. so welcome to my academy raptors know. less about the world than bobby knows. female anatomy yeah you must be drinking. on some whiskey ginger or you andrew on. halloween or call me trippy hipster two.

things in life are certain homie i was. taught right morality is objective and. brian cowan doesn't box right. [Music]. bye.