BEST OF 2020! | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino & Bobby Lee

your house looks like. a [ __ ] anthropology store it's light. enough getting [ __ ] and i have to. sit there you live in a booger cave. [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] don't talk [ __ ]. about my mom. the hovel is what i like to call her so. you're saying because we're real friends. you don't care about white piece of [ __ ]. you look down on others this is my. holiday. you're looking this is my holiday down. in other people's culture dude you're so.

annoying. [Laughter]. you know what rat leather is rat leather. yes. is it with your mom is it what your mom. uses to make your clothes when you were. a kid no rat leather is similar to the. stinkiness of um your mom's vagina. okay i mean you started with my story my. mom. is a professional work space dude we can. get what are you doing [ __ ] angry for. no reason i'm asking a question. pointed at me to get back [ __ ].

yeah and keep it in don't even edit it. out that's what you are. that's what you are. hey. [Music]. welcome to another episode of bad.

friends everybody um yesterday was. yesterday was yesterday was father's day. and uh oh boy i miss my dad and the. thing is. i wanted to um write a father's day um. song. and um i told you i was gonna do that. too yeah you promised me and i thought. you weren't gonna do it i'm being. serious. and and i forgot about it and then we. were sitting here outside waiting for. you because you were late um i wasn't. late i was getting. you sugar-free red bull rudy was i. getting sugar-free red bull. yeah see okay but was were we here.

were we here before i called them dude. you called me it doesn't matter. no no you called me all right can we do. the father's day what's your angry about. you always do this to me you trample on. me. trample trample your turn you trample. trample. you trample trample yeah that's you. travel trample yeah yeah go ahead. trampoline. so um you know i while we were waiting. for you um. because we were early cause i got sugar. will you go yeah and i. um i wrote a song real quick because i. write a lot of music on my i'm garage. band so i just came up with. i have an old older like weird song i. mean so i.

wanted to i wrote a song for my dad okay. let's hear it all right. daddy i love you. daddy why you died. happy father's day daddy. daddy i can fly. daddy i miss you. why are you dead.

[Music]. i'm sorry i took photos of you while you. were dead and sent. it to the heart says what was in my head. you were dead and i whipped out my. phone i can't [ __ ] believe i did that.

[ __ ] i'm all alone. daddy i love you okay there we go. very good and i i have another thing. that i do. that i don't really talk about but if. i'm on an elevator. and anyone over the age of 60 walks onto. the elevator i'll hold your breath. no i'll get off the elevator period at. any time every time. why because especially if i'm alone in. the elevator. because if this person dies i'll. probably just leave.

yeah you know what i mean and because i. don't wanna i don't know how to call. and i don't know what who to call i. don't know what papers to sign. i don't know who to interview i got [ __ ]. to do you don't you don't have to do. almost any of that. if you died in an elevator and you're. just by yourself where you have you. can't just leave. you would just go somebody died in there. and then they show up and then the. paramedics help them. okay so let's get this let's play this. out okay all right. i'm in an elevator yeah old man walks in. the old man and he goes tell all young.

man. i was in the korean war because old. people always say something like that. or they all say you know i love that. chinese restaurant down the street. and i'll be like okay cool. [Music]. my heart. right elevator open i call. [Music]. is this the hospital i don't know what.

to call is this hospital. well you have to call 9-1-1 oh [ __ ] that. 9-1-1. 9-1-1 yes um an old man died. what's the address i don't know. i'll be right back and i can run outside. i gotta look at the address it's. five five four four three. what sure what street are we on they're. that. timberland timberland what state. california it's california oh [ __ ].

california. camberlin 995543 california tamberlin. okay well then um the analysts will be. there as soon as possible. can i leave no you have to go back in. with the man go in right now oh [ __ ] as. i run back in. oh [ __ ] okay i gotta do something i. gotta put my mouth in his mouth.

ugh. i leave the elevator i'm leaving the. elevator to go back outside i'll. probably have a cigarette. it's not by this time though. oh yeah yeah yeah sir yeah yeah are you. the man that called the police i am the. one. okay what what happened to the man where. is he he's in the elevator all right. come with us right now come with us. right now. come with us right now i put my my get. with me right now come on let's go.

oh [ __ ] is that him right there of. course no there's another dead. guy around the block sir i don't need. your attitude i'm just trying to find. out how this man died and when he died. did you make him [ __ ] or poop. did you make him because i didn't i. don't know what to do i just punched his. chest so you caused this man to throw up. and have diarrhea inside of this. elevator well because i put my mouth on. his mouth. turn around you're under arrest turn. around you're under arrest what the [ __ ]. i have an idea you're on the run. that's it that's what happens that's. that's why i don't want to be in the. elevator. that makes perfect sense if there was an.

animal you had to have sex with though. forced. yeah probably sheep. i'm from ireland i think they do that. [ __ ] all the time yeah sheep. i think because because it's soft yeah. and they're. don't laugh at me yeah i think because. they're soft yeah. and and even if they get upset they're. just like. so it's not that bad for me it would be. panda. oh because they're so cute well i don't.

even think that's true and you could. i could here's the thing if i was having. sex with an animal i wouldn't. want them to think hey hey there yeah. right somebody [ __ ] me. right i wouldn't want them to think that. you just want it to be a thing i don't. want them to go. hey there well then if you [ __ ] a big. animal then what i would do. with a panda is you give them a grade a. bamboo oh like i love the chew that [ __ ]. why goo bamboo right so i'd be like. here's bamboo. they'd be like hey there and then i.

would you know. and they'd be just so focused on but. don't think it's so [ __ ] up from the. eucalypt. is that eucalyptus is is that pandas no. matt. who eats eucalyptus sloths and they. black out right they just pass out. yeah yeah they get really [ __ ] high. because sloth they go whoa sloths live. in trees how can you get them because i. thought about this. right honestly i don't know why i. thought about this but. in papua new guinea there's a lot of. slumps right i didn't know there is. right yeah so what they would do if they. would go to papua new guinea.

right and slos you don't know i googled. this i don't know why i don't know why i. researched this. but sloths they come to the ground while. they take a [ __ ] or they go to the. bathroom i've seen this. right i've seen this in costa rica they. come to the ground right yeah. so imagine a bunch of sloths in the tree. right. where are you going johnny it slots like. i gotta take your [ __ ]. gotta take a i'll be right back. and as soon as he lands get him 50 dudes. come out. they form a train yeah right and then he.

trying to run away right and he's like. and his buddies are going run. frankie i'm. trying to run right and he gets on the. tree. right he's already been raped 40 50. times right. and people are like jumping up and. tagging them. right and just ripping them right as he. goes up the taller the taller guys. yeah the tyler guys right i mean that.

would be a nightmare they'd be extinct. plays for you because this is from my. family to yours. this is happy birthday in korean let's. all sing along for bobby let's do it. [Music].

happy birthday to you're welcome dude. that was so nice. they don't do [ __ ] like that for you in. north korea no they don't yeah yeah okay. can i say this yeah yes all right. have you ever met anyone from north. korea yes yes no you haven't yes it's. like an eskimo you've never met an. eskimo. you've read them among the books in the. fairy tales what you could play with. them on. in video games maybe but you've never. met one your energy needs to change. you get it going go get your coke.

go get your diet coke your energy needs. to change. your energy needs this change what i. came in here you were all [ __ ]. no hellos nothing said hello no you're. like in your. own world or whatever.

[Laughter]. i will not shoot it if you come if i.

have a boundary. do not cross the boundary put it on the. desk i will shoot you. with it if you don't [ __ ] sit down. put it on the desk. put it away from you put it away from. you no no no. put the safety on no i'm not keeping the. safety on yes. no dude i'm leaving i'm not gonna record. today i will not shoot you i promise you. if you. if you get anyone near me i'm just. putting the safety on the gun. sit down.

sit down then don't give me no i will. not oh. my god sit down i said i will shoot you. put the safety just sit down point that. at me and don't do that all right well. then just sit down. no don't don't talk about safeties don't. talk about safeties. don't talk about safeties oh my god. don't talk about safety don't point that. at me ever again i won't. you put it at me no i didn't uh no i.

pretended yuma style no i you walked in. and i showed you the gun. all right i showed you the shoot my. [ __ ] hat give me the gun here. i will shoot your redheaded face pointed. at me get back on the [ __ ] back up. don't pull back put it right here no i'm. not going to put it there. put it here i need to protect myself put. it on just give me the thing no no no no. no no give it to me. he gets so angry because that can. [ __ ] really do damage i'm not gonna. hurt you. i need to put the safety on no just sit. down let's start the podcast i will not. [ __ ] do it. give it to put it put it down it's fine.

give me it okay. i will shoot your head if your attitude. doesn't change look i'm being 100. serious with you i'm 100 serious as well. if you shoot me. with that gun yeah if you [ __ ] shoot. me yeah i'm i'm i'm dead serious. i'm dead serious my my hands these hands. will [ __ ] pummel your stupid face. until it's city silly putty. i will knock all your teeth out i'll. stomp your [ __ ] neck in i'll beat the. living [ __ ] out of you interesting. if you shoot me in the face with that. yeah you're [ __ ] okay look at me in. the eyes you're [ __ ]. if you if i shoot you in the head with. this yeah and you beat the [ __ ] out of.

me yeah. you're [ __ ] why you'll see why. because i you think that this is the. only weapon that i have right now that's. my gun i have i don't know. i have other weapons as well give me my. gun no. let me just have it no bobby you'll get. it at the end of the podcast. i want it all right let me ask you. another um question may i. mm-hmm if i shoot you in the head if you. shoot me in the head let me just. follow this through please and you beat. the living [ __ ] out of me.

listen would you end this podcast. forever. you swear to god if you shot me in the. [ __ ] head yeah with a with an airsoft. gun yeah those are rock hard bbs yeah. yeah they're not even the plastic ones. right. i would beat the living [ __ ] out of you. and then i'd make you do a podcast with. me and that would be our final podcast. i'd make you do one all [ __ ] up yeah. yeah and bleeding and dripping and no. teeth yeah. and me with a bullet can i say george. yeah. okay. yeah don't point it at people i'm not. gonna throw it look at my hands not even.

on the trigger. dude it's supposed to be on the side. it's just gonna be on your. your trigger finger should be on the. side of the gun don't point it at me. like this like this yes okay put the. safety on. i'll put the safety on you don't know. how you have to pull back on those. things and. it's not on s it's a little s no. dude it's not on look i'm gonna show you. yes put it up now put it away put it. down okay that's. it now the safety is off you just turned. it off again it's this s.

with the red that's f it's gonna fire. right now okay. it's not gonna fire okay good point. point it at the point shoot the plant. shoot the shoot the plant yeah okay good. you know what my [ __ ] you know what. you know what my can i shoot the screen. the tv yeah let's just see what happens. close your eyes close your eyes turn. around. are you gonna do it yeah but that's. that's my tv. how much is it i don't know it doesn't. matter it's a [ __ ] tv like what then. we gotta go get a new one all right.

i kind of want you to do it now and i. won't do it. but if you do i'm cool with it we just. have to go get one then. i'll go buy one now i'll go to the best. so i get a better one here's my only. fear what i don't care about the tv. it's a piece of [ __ ] tv but the cameras. what if it hits one of the cameras. the odds the uh if i look at. they rick it bounces the ball is going. to bounce everywhere let me the odds of. it. shoot your hat again that's.

yeah it's going to ricochet aim here. okay. if i aim it like this it'll hit george. in the face. i'm not gonna do it god dude if you do. it you're done. thank you i'm gonna do it. i'm gonna do it bobby yeah close your. eyes bobby don't oh really. i'm gonna do it you don't have the balls. i don't know i don't have the balls to. shoot my own tv. yeah you're [ __ ]. oh my god dude i'm so scared you're a. [ __ ].

you're weak right that's what it is if. you shoot me. i honestly yeah i don't need to do this. podcast me neither. oh if they shoot me we're dead this is. it this is it the last one we do you're. right. okay say goodnight then take out your. penis let me shoot your penis. no i would never shoot you hold out your. hat though can i shoot your head on no. no no. shoot the screen or nothing i don't want. to shoot the [ __ ] tv then we're going. to get a new tv you're weak that's it. be a man bobby in life this is for.

showbiz. this is for entertainment purposes it's. going to ricochet and. bounce off and hurt i'm going to turn. around. watch your eyes i'm going to close my. computer. all right ready yeah three two. no signal one oh right in the middle. holy [ __ ] you did break it. and it says no signal by the way.

ricocheted and hit me right on the. shoulder no really that's what i got it. oh my god it did hurt it did break it. um so sorry that's all right. why did you do it you [ __ ] said to i. was kidding why would you do that. it was kind of fun it was fun huh. um hey everybody okay.

i don't want to do this bob i don't want. to do this i don't i don't want to. do it jimmy kimmel he uh he's not gonna. host. the show for a while so i i'm going to. uh try to get the job there to do the. whole things. you have to [ __ ] do it i can't. believe i don't know what to say [ __ ]. idea. give me any joke to say i do comedy too.

shut the [ __ ] up okay here we go. hey alive around the world is uh the. world is absolutely insane right now. what's going on around the world. uh hey everybody talking bang here oh. boy what go ahead in the world right now. it's crazies 150 million. a thousand people died from corona and. boy. melania trump i i do i [ __ ] her. i [ __ ] you gotta make it uh it's for.

network tv. so oh okay so i saw it they said oh boy. what's going around this town right now. holy moly [ __ ] and fifty thousand. million people died from kovit. 19 donald trump wife melania i. i stick it i stick it away the vagina. the president do anything else with that. oh. [ __ ] okay there was a guy who was. raising sea turtles. and check this out and he's selling them.

uh he's selling them at uh two shells of. pop. he's he's uh this guy's getting. he's getting a killer deal on that uh. don't talk about the maloney. yeah not about no talk about the. president's life the blm. black aliva they matter and you know you. go to the protest. right you stood sign do not do that to. the black. right and you know one time i went to. protest. and i saw a woman while protesting with.

her when she looked like uh. you know milani no not the president's. wife no but she i she's not. it was not her because this was an la so. this is not her but she looked like. okay she looked like maloney so she. protesting black lives. like a black lives getting to the right. and then i hit like this her hip. right and i look at her i go you know.

one day you and i could go go bang bang. no stop saying you're gonna have sex. with the president's wife she's not. there. okay yeah yeah yeah stick to your. current events oh correct. okay okay my god what's going on with. the uy2k. the y2k man 2000. everything is going to be wipeout. there's a. um melania. what. if you we never we're never going to get.

this gig if you do that. better oh my god andrew my favorite. thing in the whole world is better help. i was a miserable guy you know this. before. um this year because i had never done. therapy but through better help. i i get therapy i'm so much more happier. and freer. look it's incredible it's helped me out. you start talking to somebody in 48. hours it's not a crisis line it's not a. self-help line. they match you with your own licensed. professional therapist and you can like. start. communicating in under 48 hours it's.

like and it's like they match you up. with the perfect person. they really do if you want to change. it's free to change with somebody so. um traditional offline counseling is. quite quite more expensive. financial aid is available for for you. guys here and during these tough times. oh my god people need it real tough. people need to talk to somebody and you. really should use better help want you. to start living a happier life. today it's also more affordable than. traditional offline counseling and. financial aid. is available yeah and so many people. have been using better that they're. recruiting additional counselors in all. 50 states visit their website and read.

their testimonials. testimonials testimonials that are. posted daily. visit betterhelp.com bad friends that's. better help. and join the over 1 million people who. have taken charge of their mental health. with the help of an experienced. professional bob tell them the special. offer. that we special offer for bad friends. listeners get 10 percent off. your first month at betterhelp.com. bad friends that is betterhelp.com. you know what andrew i was always. thought i always thought that i was too.

dumb no you learn a different language. no you're through babble i've been. learning uh french i've been learning. spanish espanol. uh check this out uh uh donde esta. uh andres see that's great yeah see i'm. doing a good job i'm learning. look it's uh it's a language learning. method. there it is you're gonna speak a new. language within weeks uh babel is a. language learning method that's designed. to get you speaking a new language. within weeks with daily 10 to 15 minute. lessons that's so easy it's so quick. um and it's super interactive right bob.

oh i love it it's. it's easy to use yeah it is it honestly. yeah no joke. uh if you sign up for babel you'll you. can you can see how quickly you'll start. picking up stuff very fast and it's. and it's also street slangs it's not. just like it's it's. it's how naturally people talk to each. other not this technical stuff right. other um services yeah biblioteca it's. not really formal it's a lot more loose. and fun. realistic and you can speak 14 different. languages oh my god. spanish french italian german et cetera. et cetera et cetera speak the language. like you always wanted to with babel.

uh tell him what we got for him bob and. right now babel is. offering our listeners three month free. with a purchase of a. three month subscription with promo code. bad. friends visit babble.com and use promo. code bad friends. on your three-month subscription that's. babble b-a-b-b-e-l-com. use that promo code bad friends babble. language for life. i want to do something real fast because. everybody loved it um when we did a. little scene reading and i'd like to do.

a scene reading right now. but i don't know what movie it is it. doesn't you'll figure it out almost. right away. um i want you to put on this. if you could and i'll put on one of. these things. so we're going to be doing a little. classic scene reading and. i'll put on you have to put on that you. put on one of those around your neck as. well. i'm going to be doing a little little. classic scene reading here. for bob um this is one of his favorite. movies he said this. so we have to abide by what bob likes.

and wants. oh i forgot i have to take my headphones. off um. but we're trying to get dressed here. you let andre let andres do the. direction that would be great. all right give me those scripts are. right there what the beats were. what do you mean what are the beats for. you put them on yeah you got to put them. on okay. okay put them on and are you going to. put back on your headphones or no yeah. you don't have to if you don't want to. um give me a script and give him a. script. this is something that the fans really.

wanted and also something that you love. um what is that all right so you're. going to be the role of rose. and andres is going to read uh some of. the scene direction okay go ahead andre. what. what movie is this you'll figure it out. almost right away is it the notebook it. would be almost impossible. for you to not figure out the notebook. nope but you'll just figure it out. almost right away you're close. okay so guys ready interior. rose sweet what. 1912 like in a dream the beautiful. woodwork.

dude where's real first of all andreas. just before. cut cut just project a little bit more. you get to project a little bit more. because you know you're. you're acting as if you're the director. or whatever does that yeah you know he. went to they went to a film school. together i know they did so. more right slow it down a bit okay start. from the top go ahead okay. here we go interior hold on one second. my phone's ringing. hold on okay go ahead it's rogue and i'm.

not going to answer that answer answer. it. yeah yeah no he won't want to be on the. show okay. um okay hold on let's start from scratch. here we go let's start from scratch go. ahead. okay interior rose sweet. [Music]. like in a dream the beautiful woodwork. and sat in upholstery. emerged from the rusted ruin. jack is overwhelmed by the opulence of. the room. [Music]. he set his sketchbook and drawing. materials in the marble table.

will this light do don't others need. good light. that is true i am not used to working in. such horrible conditions. hey monet he crazy. he crouches next to the painting stacks. against the wall. isn't he great the use of color i saw. him once. through a hole in this garden fence in. gineri. she goes into the adjacent walk-in.

wardrobe closet. he sees her girl he sister. go to the safe and starts working the. combination. he's fascinated. callus insists unlocking this thing. everywhere should i be expecting him any. time. soon not as long as the cigars and. brandy hold out. clunk she unlocks the safe. glancing up she mets his eyes in the. mirror behind the safe.

she opens it and removes the necklace. then. holds it out to jack who takes it. nervously. you hold it to me give it to me. [Laughter]. what is it a what is it. is it a sapphire what is it. what is it is it. what is it is it a sapphire a diamond.

a very rare diamond called the heart of. the ocean. sag gazes up well beyond his. comprehension. comprehension. i want you to draw me like your french. girl. wearing this. where are we going. he looks under her surprise and then we.

cut too. interior bedroom dad is laying on his. pencils like surgical tools. his sketchbook is open and ready he. looks at us she comes into the room. wearing a silk kimono. the last thing i need is another picture. of me looking like a china doll. as a pink customer i expect to get what. i want. she hands him a dime and steps back. parting the kimono.

the blue stone lies on her creamy. breasts her heart is pounding. as she slowly lowers the rope jack looks. so striking. it is almost comical the kimono drops to. the floor. tell me when it looks right to you she. poses on the divan. setting like a cut into the position we. remember from the drawing. almost uh just. bend your left leg and a little and. lower your left. your head eyes to me that's it. text starts to sketch he drops his.

pencil and she. stifles her laugh. i believe you're blushing mr big artiste. i can't imagine mongiamoni blushing. he does landscapes. tied on jack ask his eyes cut up to look. at her over the top edge of the. sketchback. we want him to finish finish it. we have seen this image of him before in.

her memory. it is an image she will carry in the. rest of her life. push slowly in on frozen's face. wow i know i don't know you still don't. know what movie it is. how can you not know what movie is it. jack rose. a a a draw me like one of your french. girls never seen. what movie is it titanic what yeah so. these people had to get along with you. for two more months yes. i'm like jesus it's gonna be the worst. two months but then i go but i'm in.

thailand i'm single. right so maybe two nights after that i. went to the [ __ ]. district just just a look two nights. yeah because it's by the hotel three. blocks from four blocks from so you go. down to the [ __ ] district what. happens. and i'm just kind of cruising hi baby. yeah yeah and go ahead come. inside yeah if they touch me i'm an. american you know i mean don't touch me. do you think you get a better deal. because you they know you're asian. if they say no i think they look at me. the way i'm dressed all that that i have. no money.

really yeah they think that i'm the guy. that like steals sake but do you think. they up charge for. for for white man no but the white boy. i think that they have these desires to. marry a white man and. that they're gonna just like a pretty. woman but in thailand you know. so they wait you walk around i walk. around i'm looking but i know that they. have dicks. so i know but in my head i'm like can. you see there don't they tuck their dick. you can't see they're wearing like. little. short panties some of them i swear to. god if the circumstances are right. you would blow job you got a [ __ ] no.

i would get one you would but you. wouldn't do sex. no because i i don't i don't like. [ __ ] love. hmm i never liked it but the way that. they groom it i think. it's supposed to it doesn't i don't like. [ __ ] love i also heard a story once. have you ever had anal sex one time. with kalila no way yeah. she would let you [ __ ] her in the ass. one time. well i first stuck my finger in there a. couple of times yeah i've done yeah i do. the finger and i go up and down side to.

side to get some room going. i don't like it too tight you put you're. doing like a yeah like a crucifix like a. crucifix like a crucifix and i did a. pentagram. yeah yeah i might have done a swastika. yeah yeah so then i stuck it in there. it was so dry well yeah it was so dry. and it's a butt hole what do you think. yeah. it doesn't get it doesn't get wet it i. don't i didn't even come. i think i washed my dick and [ __ ] her. you washed then you went in. yeah you should have watched after did.

you wash after no i. i stuck my penis in the dirt hole. then i go i'm not into it so i went and. washed my digging and i did vaginal sex. uh yeah okay yeah smart but then what. happened was um. i didn't and i didn't know where to go. for like. to get regular women like a brothel. to get you were in the [ __ ] district. yeah but i didn't know where to go to. get. regular just a prostitute yeah so i. didn't do it. i just but until one day i had four days.

off. you know how like sometimes you're in a. different country big stretch it's a big. stretch and you have near. you're not so what i would do is i would. go to lobby and just sit there and drink. coffee. in the by the bar no in the hotel lobby. and then you just wait for someone to. approach you no i would just sit there. all day i didn't know i didn't know. anybody really. yeah it was really sad but then two. i could say it say it two movie. executives from the. the asian movie company yeah were there.

they walk by me. and they go hey i go i know you guys. and they go hey you wanna and i go. i already i didn't know what that meant. you know but i just got up. and i just followed them and they took. me to this place called. amsterdam it's not enough it's a place. called amsterdam got it. and you go in there and it's a. restaurant at first you sit there and. there's a fat. madame you know i mean you know that. there was always a fat lady that no one. would ever [ __ ] but she runs the place.

yep. and she's very funny yeah and then there. was like a all-female. choose the pimp yeah rock group going. ready. you know that's what i got ready rather. pee. right the beetles yeah the pretzels. yeah ladies and gentlemen right. and then um and then we ate fruit. what yeah oh yeah oh yeah because you're. gonna yeah yeah i don't know they just. brought this g. the biggest fruit plate i never know why. no i don't know why.

do you know that fruit makes your [ __ ]. taste better oh. you've never heard that before i ate a. lot of it you've never you guys know. that don't you. sugar high sugar content makes your. semen taste better wow. that's why they did that wow so i'm. eating it and then um. i go i just turned it i go what happens. and they go. then we go to another room and in this. other room. is football bleachers i'm not kidding. you. like we're going to see what's about to. happen like a usc football game.

bleachers but instead of fans there's. women. yes and they're just lined up they're. all sitting there. like i was going to do my one-man show. right. and i sat there and i go how does this. work do i just grab it i'm what the. [ __ ] up and the fat madame's there yeah. and she goes no you. uh look at the number see they have a. pin. and they have a number and then they. have letters on the number what. yeah so and it you know like this is sex. slavery.

it would say 237 and it would say b 237. come on and it would say um sm. which means supermodel and they were. higher right and then there was like. they were more expensive yeah it would. say. yeah it would say zero v v. is what vietnamese it's like derp. pennies. it was [ __ ] amazing same kind of. brain same brain.

[ __ ] yeah and keep it in don't even edit. it out. that's what you are that's what you are. like that cut that out. or bleep it do you look like a fool. you know it's like so funny it's like. when people do foolish things like that. and they say that. they go into a thing like what you're. doing you're frozen i know. you're frozen right now because of shame. no no i'm listening. no you're going like this no i'm.

listening to your [ __ ] oh [ __ ] how. do i get out of this one that's not. getting out of it. i'm faster than you i'm funnier than you. i'm stronger than you i'm taller than. you. i'm better than you in literally every. physical way and mental i get out of. this one. you're a t you're a little tiny i don't. really mate booger rat [ __ ]. and that's where you and you're that's. where you're gonna go stupid names. no you're. yeah but we're gonna cut that out so it. doesn't even matter we're not we're. leaving in our tart you said it to me.

you called it to me three times. just apologize for making a mistake no. you didn't. you made a mistake i'm not apologizing. for [ __ ] thinking something was. something else i said no it's a rubik's. cube movie yes. and rubik's cubes are two different. things it's the point of the film it's. not the [ __ ]. the [ __ ] item it's that i oh yeah. there was a kid who was the champion he. got taken over. and i'm thinking oh it's a [ __ ]. rubik's cube well how would you magnus. it's not even called. the title of the [ __ ] movie [ __ ] man. you made a mistake you look like a fool.

and that's all no it's only because you. ran into it with your car. no it could have gone oh yeah it was a. sad to watch you just now. just please and like go through that. [ __ ] thing you're. you're you're go ahead give me a name so. i'm fat. [ __ ] i'm weak yup yeah no i wouldn't. be able to survive in a forest. fact yeah unless there was a [ __ ]. bakery then there were but i'm alive. in a tree who made cookies am i not. alive i hope your [ __ ] feet. go now diabetic [ __ ] turkey when. you're listening ladies and gentlemen.

bad friends friends fans when your teeth. fall. out when you're smoking let's just. listen and your little rat muscles. someone else little [ __ ] ass dick. makes a mistake. right this is how we re what do you. remember it's only when you. go at it with me and so i want to let. you guys know that we do need a. therapist. because he has massive issues look at. him he's trying to laugh it off but i. see it in his eyes when bobby goes after. me. yeah after i said oh yeah no yeah i said. that the wrong then i have to attack you. back. no you put me up against the wall yeah.

what do you want me to do. see see yeah you see what you did. what see what you did you ruined my vibe. you [ __ ] up my vibe i love it and. you've never listened to the scorpions. once. that's true yeah you [ __ ] poser you. fake [ __ ]. cut that out no you hollywood party no. no yeah you cut that. yeah no you're cutting your partner [ __ ]. you you're cutting that part out [ __ ]. you we're cutting that party no george. george you're fired if you [ __ ] keep.

that in mind then [ __ ] you george get. fired you [ __ ] [ __ ] don't hire. someone else. cut it out andres you touch that [ __ ]. streak if you don't cut off the scorpion. what are you gonna do what what are you. gonna [ __ ] do what are you so angry. about. just [ __ ].

no don't do that all right don't go low. breathe can you breathe you started it. i didn't start it andres get on the. [ __ ] mic and say who started we're. listening. right now shut the [ __ ] up see you're. going aggressive. andre's who started it. say it see there we go don't be say it. wow yes stop everything stops. oh wait wait what's up she said tito. bobby because she knows. what's up say to the mike she did.

tito bobby i love you i started it yeah. yeah. yeah when he was wrong you. immediately humiliated humiliated him. you could have just yeah but was he not. wrong yeah but. it wasn't just let her finish. go ahead it wasn't a big thing right. well. he mean he mistake like a. chance yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly thank.

you thank you andreas i have some. defense here no he's not defending you. yeah what were you saying andreas but he. mistake a chessboard with. a little cube right is that is that a. big profile. it's a medium-sized medium size yeah. and my response was medium-sized no it. wasn't yeah how big was the response. jules. you said the r you said the r word over. and over we'll cut it out no we're not. we're leaving it in because we need to. teach you a lesson. so i'm gonna let you know all right. don't point it or put your finger down. put your little fat finger down. all right you you just betrayed that.

finger down you betrayed me just i know. that. all right and you know what i'm glad i'm. leaving tomorrow. and you're lucky that i'm leaving. tomorrow jules i love you you're a good. friend. hello bob this holiday season i want you. to clean your hole okay cause it's. usually dirt i have been cleaning it. with hella tissue what are you talking. about i use tushy you use toshiba i use. it here. has not been cleaner i've seen it i've. had a swampy [ __ ]. your whole life for my whole life 49.

years lived there. and i'm not talking about poo i'm. talking about like real creatures a. hundred percent i've seen him coming. yeah yeah and so. um since and i also have saved on um. toilet paper yeah we don't buy it as. much anymore i installed the um. the tushy here in the studio and it was. easy to install. now this holiday season make your whole. feel better with tushy. people don't know what a bidet is uh and. they think it's some something fancy. no it's not it's not you can get. yourself a hello tushy for how much bob. 79.79 just imagine a powerful spray.

right up the hole right cleaning out the. changes that. out the old-fashioned way right but days. used to be thousands and thousands of. dollars. now these are good for everybody dude we. have one here at the studio. that rudy refuses to use because she. doesn't even use the bathroom here but. me and bob use it. and we use it at both of our houses the. hello tushy bidet attachment comes with. a 60 day risk. free happy butt guaranteed 12 month. warranty stop wiping your butt start. washing and join the millions of. happy hello tushy customers right now.

hellotush is the perfect gift for the. holidays get it for a friend. get 10 off plus free shipping right now. at hellotushy.com bad. friend that's friends for ten percent. off and free shipping hellotushy.com. hello fresh hey hello fresh bob i can't. cook that well i'm not so smart. i love and i don't want to leave the. house let me say something okay you know. when i get hello. and fresh delivered to my house right. and.

it has fresh ingredients yeah and it's. also. um there are menus and um. instructions recipes that i can follow. they're easy to use. it's america's number one meal kit for a. reason i use that at the house me and. the old lady. uh i'm not good at cooking and i don't. know anything about anything. it's delicious and all you have to do is. follow their instructions it's delicious. it's it's uh it actually and it's. healthy too. by the way not only is it healthy it's. like you know during this pandemic you. know it's good to have like home-cooked.

meals. yeah and it's easy to get all the. ingredients in one spot. i love that man i do love it um you guys. if you uh if you haven't tried it you. absolutely should um. it is great delicious meals and it's so. easy step by step on how to use it go to. hellofresh.com. badfriends90 use the code badfriends90. to get 90. off including free shipping that's. insane hellofrosh.com slash bad friends. 90 use the code bad friends 90 to get 90. off including free shipping to your home. to get a delicious meal to you.

me and bobo highly recommend it if it's. balut i'm. i'm walking out is it baloo. yeah that's why. you have to try it yeah that's right no. way. let's try i'm gagging right i never had. it i won't do it can we open it. no you no i'll open it no will you look. honestly don't be a you know what dude. you can't just you know what you're. [ __ ] you're a white piece of [ __ ]. you're [ __ ] you look down on others. this is my holiday. you're looking this is my hollywood look.

down in other people's culture dude. yeah and stop being like that no this. that's what this whole thing is about. yeah so give me the balloon bring it. here yeah yeah don't eat don't be a. [ __ ] dick dude i'm gonna throw up. you're gonna eat it. all right you're gonna watch me throw up. that's fine we can we'll watch oh i'm. not gonna i'm not gonna but that's so. [ __ ] rude it's my people dude. okay bring the balloon i'm not gonna eat. it yeah. nope oh my god all right so uh now. honestly. where do you get the balloon put it. there i'm not gonna don't get this at.

bonds where do you get this at where did. you get it. all right so people for for people that. remember balut is a filipino. we talked about it about it yeah give me. the napkin right. so you just crack open the top okay.

all right so let me put this back on let. me. crack open the top oh don't. oh my god it's so hard it won't crack. it won't crack you can do it. crush it like this. oh my god oh [ __ ] this [ __ ] cracked. okay that's fine. okay.

here yeah you have to drink the juice. [Music]. okay first i'll just tell you what it is. this is like um the movie aliens. remember the movie aliens first of all. smell it smell it. smell it bro bro give me the garbage can. i'm gonna throw up. honestly honestly oh my god. honestly honestly i'm gonna throw up. honestly and i had good ramen i had. ramen that i liked.

[Music]. there's juice all over the place there's. pollutants. i'm gonna throw up. oh my god. [Music]. [Laughter]. [Music]. no i gotta get out of here i have to get. out of here i'm gonna throw up. honestly that's so [ __ ] gross all. right so. [ __ ] all right so i'm gonna throw up.

what is this part. i can't see oh god what is that part. what is the yellow though i have to know. the body part i don't want to look at. its [ __ ] [ __ ] it's a yolk part. all right how about this andrew this is. my nightmare i know i'll eat a little.

bit of this. you eat a little no yeah yeah i almost. threw up i don't care i'm gonna try i'm. gonna throw up. oh god. it's good. oh god. it's so [ __ ] gross oh god get that. the [ __ ] out of here. get it out no not try it no i'll get it. out. let's open the whole thing now i don't.

think there's any duck there. i'm gonna throw up look dude look at. this part. oh my god. i'm gonna throw up oh my god oh my god. oh there's no face. where's the face at oh my god where did. you get this. this is advanced. oh my god yeah.

you should be ashamed this is what i get. for joking about. thanksgiving earlier. drench this table george in in oh my god. in bleach. yeah where's the sun you have sauce yeah. you forgot all right. my god is this the most disgusting thing. i've ever seen in my life. i mean i'm not even kidding no get it. away. get it away dude.

[Laughter]. [Music]. george get this the [ __ ] away. yeah oh my god. please are you going to eat this can you. eat that. no you're not going to eat that no. she'll eat that one don't eat that. there's the new one don't eat it. here here's the trash can.

oh my god i'll be right back if you had. a ranch are you being real. no i need to wash my hands yeah yeah. because i [ __ ] coughed into my hands. rudy. how much how much is a blue egg. one doll um no 25 cents. 25 cents that's what a little bird's. life is worth 25 cents.

yeah rocks are more expensive by far. yeah. we you know what's so funny we for. people that didn't see the other episode. we talked about ballout it's a baby duck. that they eat in the philippines. and they just what do you got salt oh my. god. are you really going to eat it yeah yeah. i i i i. has how do you know if it's not rotten i. mean it smells rotten. is it rotten i'll try i don't think so. oh you try first and then your stomach. hurts then you stop what the [ __ ]. the philippines is that kind of what. kind of system is that.

i just i can't and you and do you eat it. in one whole bite. everything though. god look i respect the culture. no i do and you know what i want to say. i'm sorry to the native americans for. what they did.

what yes why i'm getting reflective. yeah yeah because you're so sorry. because what what western europeans did. to the native americans is disgusting. and it's not funny and it's gross and. this is giving me perspective. well i i don't know if there's a problem. i can ask a question yeah. so she likes this actor what's the actor. that she likes. cool some hispanic actor that she likes. michael pena. no no if tim i would kill myself uh uh.

fluffy. iglesias yeah so anyway i go she was. hooking up and i go. blow me i go blow me like that after the. guy that you like right. and she did things that she's never done. before to my dad because she pretended. you were who. some other actor right she said i got an. i want to know. and she started licking my balls right. and they just spit on it and she was. like. sucking on that like i was like and i go. stop. i go stop doing it like that and i got. mad i go. that's you do it better for the other.

guy yeah of course but that's okay but. that should be okay in a healthier sense. relationship fantasy fantasy fantasy you. don't do ever fancy you don't ever think. she's somebody else. i want those moves too you you just got. them you got. exactly yeah but that's for me no well. you're not you anymore. yeah you're not you anymore you've been. together too long because if i'm. emailing our girl should i do it like. natalie portman i wanna go. and do your man spin and do the whole. [ __ ] thing you know you'd sit and. have a conversation with her she's. natalie portman she's not an. award-winning actress. yeah yeah what do you what do you mean.

do you ever visualize she's somebody. else. or when i'm in my mind maybe yes do you. do it. you have to yeah you don't have a choice. you have to what do you mean. once you've had sex with your. significant other enough dude your mind. has to make. make up that there's something else yeah. absolutely man we do role playing. oh you do what role play actually i i i. have to okay. i'll say it and then and then i'll i'll. see if it's okay to say it yeah. yeah we'll see if it's okay hold on we. do. camps we do camp stuff like you're.

camping. no like we like wearing a summer camp. like she's a counselor and you're a. student. no [ __ ] dope what is her name does she. have a counselor name no. i just call her counsel counselor. collapse counselor kalila yeah and she's. like yes little boy how old are you in. this fantasy. are you jewish do you put on a yamaka. jewish summer camp but i have asthma. like jewish jewish people do i have. psoriasis. oh yeah yeah so um no dairy go ahead so. i um. yeah i'm a kid you're a little boy and.

you're what happened did you be bad. were you bad by the lake look at look at. her is it uncomfortable. no it's funny do you want her out she. can get out of the room while you tell. this nasty story it's not nasty. well it's beautiful okay yeah so i'll go. like did you get in trouble by the lake. what did you do huh what did you do bad. boy she's like. come here tammy she'll give me a name. tammy yeah yeah yeah. what did i do wrong i'll do a voice yeah. we're like. yeah yeah and she's like you know you. know i told you you know. to put away the the equipment and you. didn't put over the equipment right you. left the balls out. no but i know i was playing with um.

johnny and the boys or whatever. and then she'll go like yeah but when i. say something so let take your pants off. you need a spanking yeah okay i'll go. okay right now slowly right. meanwhile like when she sees the. underwear it's just. already right your heart is around i. like it right yeah do you have one. little boy's underwear for the course. of course yeah i don't know i i only. have a tiny weddings. so and uh it's one pair there's a brown. streak and it's only wet in the tip.

it's a tip there's a tip there that's. wet yeah so um and then she'll go um. lay on your back i'm gonna give you. spanking right and i'll go. i'll lay on my back but how can you. spank me. if i'm at my back right right. she goes you're clever timmy right. and she goes.

what are you gonna do i'm scared. no i always say that you're scared i. scared. right yeah and then she okay you know. what i mean. let me kiss it like a lollipop i'm. already coming. sure juices are just like you know i. mean. it's like bubbling yeah you know what i. mean like little [ __ ] [ __ ] bubbles. that's hot right right that is hot you. know i mean. but then it turns into well i'm timmy.

and she's on top of me. right she'll go she'll switch it up. which is i don't like uh she's like a. mark now. no but no something like that she'll go. like you know. do you like it mark or frank so i have. to be to play a different character oh. she wants you to switch me right. so like she's now [ __ ] everyone at the. camp. oh [ __ ] yeah you know i mean like she's. like a cereal. she's like run a train on me but now.

it's now it turns into like. very aggressive right right where like. i've already now i'm mark. and i've already heard the rumors right. right you know what she's been saying i. knew all the things and i don't want to. because maybe i'm gay or whatever. right so it turns into me trying to get. maybe yeah what not maybe. yeah no we are he may have something. good he may have nothing. you never know with him he's a fancy bee. fancy b.

our special guest is andreas the fancy. bee rossende we're excited. he's going to be uh giving us his. stand-up comedy stylings and if he's. good enough he's going to open for me. and bobo when we go back on the road you. ready. ready okay yeah let's let's hear it. sweetheart. okay wait a second. i'm ready yeah wait a second he has to. wear his dice jacket. what's up is that a rack of dvds back. there or is that books. those are oh [ __ ].

[ __ ] let's keep. coming back for more huh i guess you. really need some talent on this show. who produces this [ __ ] by the way has. everyone seen george. you know i'm missing here how bad. do you have to suck at your job that you. get replaced by high school girl. and the show gets better. [Laughter].

and what laughing too far wow. but they it was so loud that the. neighbors called. animal control because they thought you. guys have a hyena in the room. george's reminds me did i keep him home. alone. if he grew up to have dancing. he wants to be a comedian oh yeah he. really wants to stand that. your comedic inspiration is done in. kruger. because you suck but you don't know how. much you use sometimes.

for me michael with inspiration freddy. krueger. because i kill every time even in your. dreams. anyway so let's let's talk to someone. else who else is here oh yeah. let's go to our favorite mute of bad. friends. rose hey rose what a journey you had. you left me your headache for this [ __ ]. i don't. love rose or jules or rudy you had more.

nicknames. than words you have said in the show he. laughs at himself. it looks like you auditioning for the. quiet place every time. there is still you got more lion scene. than bobby in the wrong kisses. oh he takes out the mic he slap it and. he loves it. wow what are you you're saying something. jules you have to speak into the mind. you know who they might girl like andrew. avoid speaking on the center of the. disaster artist.

smell like george's bread which smells. like balls. because he sucks so much of it. jules i wanted to understand your. struggles so i saw 90 days beyonce. yeah rose's dad lives on a pig farm. so how do you manage to find the only. place in america that is worse than. living with a pig.

living with bobby lee to enjoy his. american dream. cleaning billiards houses that sounds. more like the mexican dream to me. [Laughter]. i also came here looking for the. american dream. but mine doesn't include a knife and. witch hunt you have some psycho dreams. girl. living with bobby is like living with a. puppy. except you completely train a puppy.

you came here as a teenager and now you. have to raise one. wow anyway that's all i got for you guys. yeah hey let's heckle you now we get to. heckle you. chirping yeah yeah look at that. what's up pablo espresso bar. [Laughter]. i like that jean jacket whose is that. tell me that's your girlfriend's this. yeah no this is george's.

that's even better all right see you. andres. great job we love you really much bye. buddy. what a guy i brought a ouija board no no. i can't do it. please no i'm not doing a ouija let's. contact your dad. please please.

it is real i know and we're going to. respect it. [Music]. you just have to say goodbye and it. closes the door. you start on ouija here's the rules put. your headphones on put your mic back.

here's the rules you start on ouija. oh that's not good blown out a candle to. begin is a bad omen. oh boy is that not good now you're now. that's actually scary to me. i know but that's what it's supposed to. do it's a crickle crackle candle. put on your headphones and get your. microphone near your mouth. okay the proper way to do this. is for you put a hand you put a hand and. i put a hand okay.

all right here we go bob hold on listen. listen to me. we're gonna con contact your pops okay. what's his name again robert robert e. lee. bob lee we have to say goodbye at the. end otherwise his spirit will still. remain. okay all right now put your two hands on. two hands. okay now calmly and slowly the bravest. amongst us. asks the first question so go ahead. dad are you in heaven.

i'm not touched i am not moved look yeah. you are no i'm not. you have to be no i'm not i promise. what is it what is it t yeah. what does that say i can't read i can't. see it. tg.

i know what it is what's tg he's at tgi. fridays. [Laughter]. he loved he loved tgi fridays are you. being serious yeah he loved. tgi friday that's his favorite [ __ ]. restaurant well let's ask him another. question obviously he's having fun. this. [Applause]. um i want to ask him a question about. you.

do you miss bobby do you miss bobby. lightly lightly put your finger no don't. we don't lean your weight on it should. be like this. you're pulling i'm not i swear to god. i'm not look. lightly. you're pulling no i'm not i'm not you're. so strong. i'm not i did not pull it because i. tried to pull it wouldn't pull my way.

i'm not pulling it come here you have to. go strong i am not pulling it. you have strong fingers do you miss. bobby bobbly. i'm not you have to be pulling. i'm not. oh you gotta be kidding me i'm not. you're pulling and pushing again no i'm. not. what's that it says you.

the letter u does he miss you. no so what was the question does he miss. you okay. let's get the other letters all right. what is that m um. oh i know what it is what's um so ask me. if. i'm the dad ask me mr lee do you miss do. you miss. bobby. [Music]. [Laughter].

so he doesn't okay no he's thinking. about it um. oh he doesn't know you don't know are. you at the university of. montana is vermont is there a university. of montana of course there is. never uw home of the buff bluffs yeah. the buffalo so maybe that has something. to do with it. because my dad lived in montana for a. bit. what you am bobby uh.

mr lee tell us. what's the one thing. what's the one thing that you would ask. bobby now about what's going on. what do you want to know about bobby. what do you yeah what do you want to. know about me dad. yeah wait. oh my god what is that g.

you have to recenter it go back to ouija. and recenter put your fingers on lightly. why are you pulling i'm not. oh my god. a ga. y gay.

[Laughter]. you are pulling it with your [ __ ] say. goodbye say goodbye say goodbye goodbye. dad. bye dad hi he's how many days now. 15 days 15 days of no pornography. wow wow wait how about how bad was your. problem steve. it wasn't that it was.

bad bad it was that i didn't like i. didn't like what. pornography was doing to my mind sure. sure because i realized. i mean because you know we're messed up. i mean i'm not blaming him. he definitely i know we have nothing to. do i know i know but you you. you don't quote me in your [ __ ] but i. just remember. it was a progressive thing as far as i. remember younger. this is before the internet like him. having like a dvd.

he had a whole like collection of them. and i would take one or two and then. how many three you. he could have filled up like an amoeba. record like a whole store. yeah you know those one of those. booklets. you know those booklets where you put. cds well you know those boys those big.

black. thick booklets like that he had hundreds. of those just. collections like the beatles collections. collections collections yeah just collab. collectors just failed failed sorry but. the rest hey but but steve. steve let me ask you though what was the. so what what was the reason that you. quit what was this moment. well i realized that it affected just. my like my relationship sex life yeah or. just it just kind of like.

it not only desensitized me like as far. as. because i noticed too like when i was. like like i would be on pornhub or x. videos. my searches would be a little bit more. further like going kind of outside the. box you know like what. give us an example well it started with. just like pov doggy or. you know something like that or you know. cream pie or you know just like you're. i don't know if that's standard that is. that's right. but then it started going into like.

crack head cream pie. so. [Laughter]. [Music].

so it started with that and then. then it started progressing to grandma. yeah like grandmother's stuff grandma. cream pie grandma i was like looking at. granny. he goes i was looking at grandmothers. because bob. i go yeah he goes do you ever masturbate. to grandmother. it's a grandma like who doesn't no. he goes oh okay he's hung up so. just just the type of why do you like.

grandmas. well i'll tell you how it makes you feel. afterwards. when you're laying there and you had. just ejaculated watching a grandmother. getting creampied you don't feel so good. about yourself. no no i wouldn't you think you would. yeah. i mean that walk of shame to the. bathroom to clean up is. a lot more worse than yeah yeah i would. especially if it's just playing in the. background.

yeah the bad friends drinking game. here's how you play every time bobby lee. says the thing is is that the thing is. is that because the thing is that. the thing is is that the thing is is. that the thing is that the thing is is. that your thing is. that have a drink it must be legal. drinking age to play. but whatever dude we're not the [ __ ]. cops okay. wow that's really nice of you but i'm. doing this for you because i really want. you to. care though really or yeah see this is.

what's annoying. is it foreign. why do you here's my question for you. why is it why do you. have to assume ill intent. with everything that either one of us. are doing when it comes to our. friendship towards you. automatically yeah it's just. automatically there's some kind of a i. have no agenda. i have genuine love for you or i i'm. gonna tell you. why let me let me explain something real. fast. yes it's on the show because i think. it's entertaining to put on the show.

but i knew the only way you would take. me serious is if i put it on the show. if i said i'm gonna get you. hypnotherapist off air you'd be like i. don't want to do a [ __ ] you shut up. leave me alone i'm just gonna give you. an example true true. i'm just going to give you an example. this time cats encapsulates. okay my relationships with you hollywood. types oh my god. oh my god of the people you're the most. i'm a man of the people.

grind it out with the [ __ ] the common. folk you complain constantly about not. being around common folk. you say stuff you know you said to me on. the when we had dinner at the house what. about the steak thing and i said. oh man i should go get six and you go ew. no have someone bring us steaks. that's what you said yeah postmates was. he complaining. because he's always telling me i'm. complaining yeah but all this. [ __ ] does is complain. yeah i'm gonna tell you but the.

narrative is out there all these [ __ ]. idiot ass fans like oh you're. complaining again griffin because. anything he says. so i got to have fat lando for the rest. of my [ __ ] life. you know all this [ __ ] that these people. say to me and that's one of these. narratives right this [ __ ]. complains all the time. we you we commiserate with each other. but then you put it out there like i'm. the only i. was gonna tell you a story of that. encapsulates please. my [ __ ] relationship with you. hollywood types okay i'm gonna say that. again. go ahead we're not hollywood all right. so um i have a friend named steve byrne.

we know him well okay so um he calls me. one day and he says. is this an asian beef it's not an asian. beef okay i'm just not doing because he. happens to be half korean i love. i love asian beef by the way yeah. english mongolian yeah. go ahead he calls me one day he goes. doing a movie. i'm doing a movie he says right and i go. okay cool i want you in it. thank you a week later. when i'm supposed to shoot right i see.

jimmy o yang going i'm in steve burns. movie. and he's good he's a good actor and he's. very funny listen i picked steve i would. get that's really good. it's either him or dad fan you know what. i mean either or. either or all right all right. anyway you see jimmy oh yang you see. he's shooting the movie. right so i call steve and i go yeah i. thought. you called me for the movie because yeah.

you know i just. i'm going to use jimmy yeah you know but. did was my feelings hurt no because. that's what i expect out of you types. this is not steve burns has nothing to. do with us with andrew andrew andrew. this would this kind of be like if i. said. hey let's do a podcast together. yeah and then you go i. decided to go with andrew no. because see you no.

listen you're a hollywood [ __ ]. hey you. you a hollywood [ __ ] i already. totally different tell me let me tell. you something i already told you. you two hollywood types i said right. stop. i said like to you i said. you know how he is like yeah right he's. a boy he's aggressive he's a boy he's a. bully. shut up shut up and he's cornering me. into a [ __ ] like you know it's like. um. and you know i'm nice you're nice and. you took advantage of that.

and didn't tell me like you wanted steve. burn to tell you. no that's not true all right i'm just. saying. that i already called you would you have. wanted a respectful call from steve burn. being like. bobby i've actually decided to go in a. different direction would you have liked. that call. would that have made you feel good right. and that's why i called you you didn't. this is the same call. no yeah i called you and i said talk. man-to-man. right friend of friend right oh yeah and. i said. wow you know what was i on that call.

[Laughter]. i called you so he threw me under the. bus he goes he's a bully he blamed. everything on me by the way. this wasn't even my idea whose idea was. it uh. yours my idea kalila was the first one. that said you guys really should. the fans in the last belly said you. should you should you should so then it. was you should you should you should and. then we finally just i said. do you want to do one i'll do one are we. gonna do one or no and then you said. well you know griff had asked me before. but it never worked out cause then we. did belly. and then you said to me no we can't do a. show and i said okay. and then i said do you want to do one or.

not. after the third time we did the show and. well you guys should just do one. together. so don't put it on me no you you're. you're twisting my [ __ ] mind right. now. you're a mind twister oh that's true to. tell you. he's a mind twister right now dude right. i am upset to leave. everyone here in la and um it's not true. i do you're so excited to go to hawaii. i'm so excited. but i'm very excited as well and i'm so. grateful for my life. i really am i love everything i look.

around my life i walk out i walk outside. i wake up yeah and i walk outside my. house i like see little jewels sleeping. in a room and the dogs you know me. running around. and i look at my at my beautiful. girlfriend you're about to say wife. soon to be wife and are you really gonna. get married i'm gonna marry her yeah. when. soon well the fans want to know i just. don't know how to do it. the engagement yeah would you have a. ring i'll get one. well that's probably the first step you. gotta get etsy or something get it. not on etsy ebay etsy ebay etsy is.

cheaper. i don't know i'll go to ebay what do you. think you would do for a proposal. probably put in a cupcake but then she. won't eat the whole thing right she's. not yeah she. doesn't know and then i'll do you got to. eat more of it you know you know what. you should do what. have one of the dogs eat it and then and. be like oh my god he's. we have to take him to the vet and they. go to the vet and then they cut the dog. open right and there's a ring inside. yeah and the dog is hemorrhaging. hemorrhaging and while it's bleeding out.

i look out and they find the ring i go. will you marry me perfect. oh wow that's a good one perfect yeah. you just got to hope the dog doesn't die. yeah but if it does you're already at. the vet or stick. the ring down inside the ain't my anal. connect canal candle kind of canal right. and i'll say finger me right will she. and then she fingers me with this i go. no with this finger. use your ring finger ring finger right. right and then boom. and then as she pulls it out yeah it's. on will you marry me. that's perfect pretty good what else is.

another one oh rudy or any of these good. do you think or a good way for a girl to. get proposed to. i like the dog going the one where. of course you do so creepy i know. because everything that i do. right you don't like no no she likes she. likes she likes how how sadistic it is. yours is dirty and this one was cree. death she likes that. she wants sadistic and death yeah like. rudy's the kind of person all right well. then i stick the. ring right if you walk into a green room. yeah there are some comics and they.

can't help themselves they'll go. when i walk in they do that see when you. walk in when i walk in and then you. and then i've been conditioned to laugh. at it but it hurts. it does it burns really yeah it burns. cause you but you have to go that's a. good one. i mean like you've seen it 30 million. times in your life. of course yeah. people are really doing that oh yeah. yeah when you walk in the room. yeah well tell tell tom about you.

learning about microaggressions all. right so yesterday i i went to. um i was just googling things this is. before i found out that. trump had coveted and then i went to my. high school. you know i'm obsessed with my high. school so i went to poway high school i. googled that on. youtube and then they go wait you're. obsessed with your high school yeah. it's so pathetic because he wants to be. in the high school hall of fame they. don't respect me. he he wants to be in the alumni the. notable alumni they don't like me how. are you not in the notable alumni. but i'm not i'm not by them oh right.

yeah because. this is a big high school it's pretty. big yeah they um. they don't find me to be a credible you. know entity. when it comes to like fame yeah right. they think that. that's kind of hard to believe man well. they have people that. like if you look it up we've done this. before on the show where you go you. google you know they're. you know notable um yeah alums alums and. it's like you know. ving trang who you know plays the violin. for the orchestra how many seasons were.

you on mad tv. eight come on man like that alone i put. that down they don't care. but it was on the air for eight [ __ ]. years 17 well the the show was on. air for 14 years the one that you were. on though yeah but i was on the show. the last eight years of mad tv wow. yeah so i met you on the street i met. you on the street when you were doing. that and i remember that no you don't. what a great day oh. you don't remember it's i have a vivid. memory of meeting him on the street this. is he says this all the [ __ ] time go.

ahead tell him. there's a [ __ ] you're with some tall. blonde really tall. was she cute yeah she was like six one. and then i was super i was like excited. to meet you. yeah and uh we started um we started. riffing uh like a bit right there on the. street yeah. and you hopped on my back that's right. yeah i don't remember that. you don't remember that yeah i do i. hopped on your back and i go um. i whipped you and i go gallop on no.

that's not the best daddy. nope no no no no it was about a fire. rescue thing. i was rescuing you from a burning. building tom let me just say something. when i see. people with your body type yeah i always. jump on the back. just body type meaning you know i can do. dead lifts no no no. body top meaning that you're not you. know. better like some people we know. right and you're but you have a. thickness to you yeah i'm a thick boy. yeah yeah and and it's that's not a bad. thing. and you can you believe he's saying this.

bobby you're basically like. you're just a squooshed figure of a. taller fat guy bob that's. you're just if somebody accordion to. taller fat guy. jules liked that one yeah and hey andrew. it's true what you talk like you're not. like you call him thick. you have such a rotund belly you have a. pot belly i'm fat. yeah yeah i i i'm not denying that. yeah but you say you jump on his back. because i'm smaller.

yeah so a smaller fat guy is going to. jump on a fatter fat guy's. body right right it's not the reverse. i'll get crushed by him let's go. every [ __ ] time oh no oh my god oh no. no no you're such a [ __ ] brat. what do you want i want her to ask me. how i'm feeling and how often do you. genuinely ask him how he is you make you. make me sound like i'm i'm the bad guy. get closer to the mic. don't back away yeah you have to get. close to the mic so we can hear you yeah. no. get closer to the bike um get closer to.

the mic uh stay close get closer to the. bike. get closer uh get closer to the bike. don't go away talking to the mic just. keep your mouth. right where the mic is closer to the. [ __ ] bike. get closer to the mic talking to them i. get closer to the mic talking to the mic. your mouth. um. [Music].

happy halloween get closer to the bike. these mics actually get close to you i. think we should just like. we can take over do you think the show. would be successful if we would do it. maybe maybe look we even have. some of the homeless plus. clothes from tito bobby. yeah right yeah.

hey welcome to bad friends hi. right and i can just like yell at you. because that's super easy like. you're late you're late today why are. you late. right you just have to do nothing this. is the easiest job in the world. yeah they don't even know how much we do. can i still have my knife. yeah i think you should have your knife. okay. that's it there you are.

if they um interrupt us then then we use. that. yeah that'll be nice be so nice. i think this will be so much nicer. you talking now you're starting yeah why. don't you start the podcast. let them start the podcast all right. is it on everything on yeah okay go. ahead welcome to bad friends. hi we decided to take over. bobby and andrew yeah because this is.

such an easy job we just get to talk. and shout at each other right. right and be mean be mean. we could be good good friends instead of. bad friends yeah. right we're way nicer. so what do you do today juliana did you. sleep until like. four no i slept until um. five and i woke up because the.

constructors were coming to our house. because. um yesterday tita bobby fled the house. well we were on the beach no i didn't. [ __ ]. shut up shut up. yeah right so what else happened and. then. the floor is broken and then we have to. move. to another house in a week how did he do.

that. i don't know he couldn't hear it so. but i don't believe him was he playing. video games he was doing yoga. he was exercising yeah oh wow. you guys are doing a good job with him. what about you. bobby can you get closer to the mic.

i am close closer. this is it it's right in the middle no. closer i'm close now. this isn't the way he does he can't get. any closer than this. that's what you do to read a scene from. hunter hunter her favorite show. and we'll let the fans decide if this is. quality material or not. um um what am i going to play which one. am i. andre i'm kahlua i'm kalula. kalgo yes yeah which one you're in.

well go ahead and tell us how to say the. name you're the one that you're the. expert. um and icalgo. i don't this is a this is my wig that. they got for me. do you want to wear this no you can wear. it it's not going to fit on your head. well because i need to look asian you. guys do look asian. i'm the only one in here that doesn't. look asian so i need to look like an. asian. okay do i look asian.

that didn't work i don't look asian no. you look better i look gooder yeah yeah. yeah yeah i look more good. okay i'm uh kahlua and and who's rudy. nothing rudy's not in this no i'm just. gonna read oh you're gonna read the name. oh you're gonna be the narrator yeah. yeah cause we can't hear fancy b. he's too tough to make out okay here we. go this is hunt a scene from hunter. hunter. rudy's favorite show look at her smile. look at her see we try to make her happy. too. okay ready yeah go ahead rude previously.

on hunter hunter these suction cups save. me. anyway aren't you an octopus. [Laughter]. hunter hunter. go ahead strange bees and monsters vast.

riches hidden treasures. evil hunts uncharted frontiers the. mysterious unknown the people who are. captivated by the magic in those worlds. are called. hunters. a mob of assassins attacks kilauea after. he and gone split. up to stop this election one of them is. icargo. an octopus khmer ant aren't you. an octopus.

he flies away see ya. i need to find a new horse i can't. charge up my neck shot. i'll let the ortho siblings take care. for me here. but out of nowhere killer jumps on him. grabs his gun. and attacks and attacked himself to a. rock using the khmer arms. yo we meet again. can i ask you something sure go ahead. why didn't you dive underwater to escape.

you should have an advantage in the. water. don't tell me you can't swim. it's the blood right when they smell. blood your bodies in the water go. berserk. and ask the injured no matter who it is. with those wounds if you went in there. you'd be turned to shreds am i wrong. i suppose that one way too andreas. you're the dragonfly. or dragonfly hey cargo did you finish. off the kid. no he changed his voice in christ try to.

change your voice or anything. cut do it again lead him into it with. your oh well oh well. i suppose that's one way to. eat calgo did you finish off the key. same voice you didn't even. even like didn't make like a small. attempt to change the voice it's shift. or anything. we're gonna do it one more time bro it's. not even hard it's not hard at all. oh well i suppose that one way too. oh i can't go did you finish off.

the kid you're. fired no wait let's give george a shot. george go ahead. try it try to be the dragon well i. suppose that one way too. oh he can't go did you finish off the. kid. pretty good you're you're hired no. we were still fighting who are you. talking to. are you screwed up wait wait. oh do we change roser yep yep let me do. it again. okay okay no we're still fighting.

who you're talking to i screw up right. you can you all can communicate via. telepathy. talking to your boss it's that guy who. was flying over me. right wait now look here. oh so. hey calgo. he's spanish hispanic it's so funny he. sounds more. hispanic than andres does.

you could see that what i might be doing. yes we're still fighting. a dragonfly creature flies in the forest. i think. jewels you're the creature but you. should do a different accent okay ready. a dragonfly creature enters the forest. oh sorry to interrupt you let me know if. you learn anything. if he sees a dozen of dragonfly flying. around. inside a crave the enemy would go. suspicious. i won't be able to sell my satellite.

dragonfly inside. very good jewel back in the cave. let's make a deal then if you tell me. about his power i'll spare your life you. have 10 seconds to answer. kilo throw the khmer arms in the water. the sea creatures go. crazy devouring it eight seconds left. icargo is puzzled six seconds ikalgo's. mind wanders dreaming.

do similar if so you're mistaken octopi. are ugly. squids are squidorific i think they look. divine. two seconds i won't betray your body. icargo cut his arm off and falls in slow. motion. yes i could see that in your eyes i can. only hope that in my next life. i'll be bored or squeeze with quick. moves kilowatt catches ical gurus.

rescuing from a certain death. why because you're a cool guy in. different circumstances. we could have been friends wow. i kind of want to watch the show now are. we are we close. um your voices are very different. because kilauea is a. 11 year old oh oh what's what's kalgo. ikalgo is an octopus he has like a. squeaky voice. why did he keep why does he keep saying. don't call me an octopus when he is one.

because he doesn't want to be an octopus. because he want to be. a squid because all of his friends bully. him. oh this is deep oh we didn't i wish. that's the context that you should have. well if you read scripts you'd know. context lesson is learned here. that's pretty impressive though i i. gotta be honest with you at first i. thought that was gonna be like uh. phooey and i really did like it like at. first i was like this is stupid but it's. really good huh. yeah could we try three crazy andrew. over here. he's crazy you're nuts yeah i'm a goof.

yeah could we try and actually get in it. for at least 10 minutes. at some point in this podcast i think we. should do an improv game. what do you think so you say a sentence. of a story. just andrew just andrew has never said. no once if a camera is without him. you know just an old-fashioned second. city improv game you know i mean where. we i know if i i'll make it up i don't. even know if this is a game but you you. say. you tell me one sentence of a story. right. one sentence i'll do the second sentence.

and we'll just keep going. jules you have to oh that is the game. say one word and then you try and keep. the cadence of an actual story yeah yeah. you want to try that a phrase or a word. let's do the phrase one word i mean. let's do a word okay just a word yeah so. jules you're playing number one. and number two this is how it works no. this. is how you.

works. we'll be right back yeah but that's. exactly how it is you you everyone says. you know what i mean you're supposed to. say it. but it's fine all right jules do you not. want to try it jules. i'm i'm ready to go all right once there. was. a pumpkin gourd in connecticut. and it went what did she say went.

yeah this isn't gonna work get closer to. the night speaking yeah you have to get. closer to the mic. also you guys we can't you can't like. take time it has to be. no one could take time i didn't yeah. she's gotta speak up she's gonna speak. up no right. and louder put them in your body i'm. sorry i i i vowed never to say that. again. [ __ ] mic to the mouth okay all right. all right don't get angry. all right ready okay so once. there was a woman named chlorine.

and she swam very well. but one time there was this. huge pumpkin. you know the last one we did no no it's. just fine it's the first improv game. the last one we did we brought up the. pumpkin and and i'm just saying there's. just so. many you know nouns that you could you. could appear.

right anything anything right anything. are they ever on. the earth you know i mean whatever and. you chose pumpkin. all right so let's start over right and. not use. we're starting complete so this time. don't use previous words. so that you can you know okay why don't. we bobby i have a question. yeah how about the three of us try to. explain this to her real quick by using. the game. okay oh yeah why don't we do that yeah. okay first you. have to talk directly in to. the microphone then you must explain to.

the audience that we are not. that smart. i really like this podcast so um one. last one. just yeah let's do it doesn't get. giggles but i want i want rudy to start. it so yeah. you have to start at rudy okay one. time i ate uh pumpkin.

[Laughter]. it's like i've known you hold on is that. music oh are you cleaning a knife. yeah what is that for um i just bought. it. bought it. what what i just brought it at home. you brought that knife yeah here. i asked that to kalila if like i can. play with it. and like maybe decorate it here and she.

said yeah wait wait. whose knife is that i've never seen that. knife before in my life. no i bought it at home and then i. brought it here. you bought it in the mail yeah and you. brought it here yeah on. amazon holy you brought that. and and what is that knife for um. i thought that i could play with it but. then. um i thought also that i could like. decorate.

my table oh you want to decorate your. table with the [ __ ] that's her stage. hang on hunting knife that's your. station you're allowed to do whatever. you want to your station. yeah this is really weird because i did. not see. dude i heard a sing sing and i'm. thinking it's music no. no i'm serious sing sing and i'm. thinking oh something someone's got. music on in their headphones. no but she's cleaning the knife yeah. it's kind of rusty. did you know this was you brought this. you saw her bring this in um i swear to. god. on my mother's life that i did not see. her bring that into the car.

no it did you remember when we um. got out i grabbed my hand at the back. is there a sleeve that goes in is there. like a leather pouch. yeah yeah i think you cleaned it enough. stick it back in the pouch. can i see it yeah yeah. holy [ __ ] this has the dried blood of. soldiers on it. look at that that's the dried blood of. men yeah where did you buy this rude. amazon yeah but like from from just like. a guy. um yeah was it is it handmade i don't.

i don't know but it was like 25 do you. want to cut something. that's all it was is 25 yeah that's fine. let me see do you want to cut should i. cut this as hard as i can. no why can i hold on to it god i don't. trust you with it so much give me the. [ __ ] knife. say please please [ __ ] no. jag off you're giving you a [ __ ]. weapon i'm giving you a weapon. really i don't have amazon i can't get a. knife then get a knife and bring one. yourself i will.

i'm gonna bring other things as well. okay. give me the knife put your hand out real. fast let me do the knife game you know. the knife game all right do it. see what happens okay go ahead put it. more in the middle i can't really. all right ready. oh man this is so [ __ ] yeah. let me hear you can i do yours no. because you'll stab me on purpose no. you're gonna do it as a [ __ ] i'm not. gonna. why would i stab you as a bit i'm gonna. do it because you would do it and then. you'd go. oh my god i was just kidding no yes you.

were. what you have no trust with me uh-huh. yeah. put your [ __ ] hand down or i'm. leaving that's not fair. if you stab my [ __ ] hand yeah if you. i'm dead serious yeah. i'm gonna [ __ ] beat the [ __ ] out of. you i i do you don't think that that's. gonna be a. yeah be a man slow. you [ __ ] oh no don't go faster. oh [ __ ] this [ __ ]. rudy it's security why are you so scary.

you have that. i thought i don't know get close to the. mic. this is important you thought what i. thought that i could decorate. i know but yeah but you get candles and. you know. and and photographs that's what people. use in america. yeah but then everyone's like saying. that i'm rudy. with a knife you are rudy with him. because you have one dream but that. doesn't make you who you are. because you had a dream but it was also. nice she does like me she does like.

knives oh my god. she's a spooky girl oh that's right. yesterday was mother's day so we put. together a little video some of the fans. sent in mother's day pictures we really. appreciate it. um we want to say thank you for that. yeah go ahead yeah you [ __ ] piece of. [ __ ] don't talk [ __ ] about my mom. the hovel is what i like to call her. yeah so this is a lot of the fans sent. in. um pictures of their mom and we put. together a little something for mother's. day. let's enjoy it uh is it our pitch. pictures or our moms or. it's our fans moms our fans oh that's.

great yeah see let's see don't make fun. of them by the way. yes this is no way mother's day mamas oh. yeah. beautiful women of course oh there we. are listen to the song. you know it go ahead girl. [Music]. i wanna take your mama out for date. night. [Music]. make her feel all right give a. conversation. till the daylight cause she is so damn.

tight i pick your mama. up in a ford flex that i borrowed. from my last ex leave your purse mama. cause i. got checks tonight gonna be about mental. sex. we hit up tgi fridays. take the scenic route forget the. highways there's no. such thing as my way it's about you. mama you my baby when dinner's done take.

your ass straight home. walk you to the front door so you're not. alone. kiss your hand and say thanks for the. love you've shown get back in my. car and then i'm gone show you respect. like the queen you must be. you never stutter always speaking. directly. you ever need me mama you just text me. until then you stay so damn sexy. happy mother's day mamas happy mother's. day mama wow.

you would have been better as if we'd. done that video but you lipsticked it. that will lip sync because at first when. we were playing the video i thought. andrew's singing this live wow what a. talent. i don't remember the lyrics i wrote them. up try it let's just try it well real. quick. by the way by the way i do want to say. this seriously some of the fans sent in. a lot of fans sent in pictures of mom. beautiful mothers and some of the fans. mothers passed away. and uh and it's a lot some of these. photos are moms that are. not with us anymore which i i just want.

to say we appreciate. you know bob knows about a loss of a. parent so it's cool that people included. their moms. that were gone it was a big deal i. thought that was very nice. though that was very nice that's why the. song is not disrespectful it's very. respectful. okay obviously if i'm running i know. my frailties i'm not like trump where. i'm like. i know everything right like trust me. yeah i know my frailties you'd go back i. know i'll be [ __ ] [ __ ]. yeah right so i'm gonna need somebody. right that you know i mean could really.

imagine imagine how big your. teleprompter would need to be you can't. read the tv that's. three feet away no i would never read. the prompter i would so what would you. do with speakers. oh you'd improvise every speech every. speech all right here we go. a national address right now you're. you're the president united states oh. god not this yes we're gonna do it. you're gonna look right into your camera. right there. no no this one right here write that one. straight ahead which one right here i. want you to make a national address to. the country. to tell them that we're i'm not going to. be funny about it though i want to be. real yeah of course that's what they. need out of you. you're the president a lot of times when. i do these improvs i i lean toward funny.

don't be funny i want to be real this is. real all right okay so i want you do not. laugh. i'm not gonna because that's not funny. tell her she's the one that does it all. right i want you to address the nation. and tell them that we're. what's going on though tell me this. scenario can i tell you yeah we're under. attack right now we've had a terrorist. attack. okay okay all right where in in new york. city in the subway line. okay but can i tell you what was going. on down there what a bunch of terrorists. decided to start raping uh okay. that's all you need to know raping and. killing people in the subway you're my.

secretary of defense. in the subway this is what this is. what's going to go on backstage by the. way you're my secretary of defense. sure okay sir budget i got it okay so. you need to address the country i got it. in three terrorists. [Music]. to the people jamie i your president. have a national address for you okay. as we know our constitution creates a.

foundation for in which. we must react to global. epidemics and also national ones. and something horrific occurred. in new york city um. i also want to add that um i. as presidents to the people right. based on all the amendments especially. the second one. and all of them they're all important by. the way.

the amendments were created right as. you know a tool set in which we can look. down. the line we have. we have 50 plus amendments there are a. lot. [Laughter]. there are a lot all right tell them what. they're uh we will. we'll get to that because i know that i. have to fill 30 minutes right but they. want to know what happened. tell them what happened sir.

sir i'm sorry people are dying. this is no laughing matter. i apologize this is no laughing matter. right. yesterday last night last night last. night at two in the morning. so technically today. so technically they technically didn't. right. although some would assume that it. happened yesterday.

because it happened in the wee hours. [Laughter]. yesterday at two in the morning in the. subways of our great city of new york. which is a part of the united states of. america. i'm sorry i don't know why sorry what. happened sir. a gig of terrorists isis aka al-qaeda. aka you know from turkey.

assange okay hassan his wife okay hassan. and his wife. right they dispatched their cronies aka. the isis right to come into our great. city of new york. which happens to be in the united states. of america right. to terrorize us right with their. ideology that's based on scriptures. that don't go against the bible they do. go against the bible. they have a different ideology although. be it we have. freedom of religion in this country yes.

so you may. worship any god that as you as you want. so i am not judging. one's religion or sect or not domination. dominatrix dominatrix right. but yesterday at 2 32 p.m a.m. right of today right in the subways of. our great city. you know they attacked a bunch of um. elderly elderly people in the subways. now what this elderly group of people. were going to a volleyball game.

they were going to in a volleyball. tournament right in brooklyn right. they were going from queens to brooklyn. right they were this. early volleyball team right they're. called the hazmatics. and they were fighting you know yeah i. mean the crutchers. crutches the crutches in the the final. senior citizen. tournament volleyball tournament. championship championships in brooklyn. and they were waiting for the subway. right and as you know. at 2 30 two in the morning the subways.

they don't they're not as active as. often. right and they come in waves the subways. so in the window between you know i mean. stop and go between the two junctions. right to the people right. hiri right no i'm not done oh [ __ ] i'm. not done okay. a gang of al-qaeda assange. terrorists right they came in with their. masks. we had no idea what was going we have we.

also have the best police force. in the subways of new york right and. they patrol them. you know me at every hour in every. station in every point. and we are salutes to them so we salute. them. all the seniors were raped they were. raped. they were bent over the benches down. there in the subways. in a line right yeah and these al-qaeda. isis people. right they bent each one of them over. they loop their dicks because as as you. know. american citizens and senior citizens. they have dry.

orifices they're getting old right they. were raped. then murdered then left to rot. this morning at eight in the morning is. when they were found. oh god yes so hiri hirihiri god bless. america. we will get these perpetrators and. so long honestly yeah. pretty good i mean as your secretary of. defense pretty good i'm impressed.

[Music]. yes.