benny blanco-gomez | Ep 264 | Bad Friends

Hello. Hello. Hello, mate. My Benjon to. We're coming to London, England and. Dublin, Ireland. Right. London, England. Dublin, Ireland. July 18th and July 19th. for Ireland. That's right. 18th in. London, 19th in Ireland. You guys come. out and see us. Go to badfriend.com. Kicks are going fast. They are going. very fast. Dublin's about to shell out. Sell out. So July 18th to 19th, go to. badfriend.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude. and an Asian dude. You two are.

disgusting. You two are something. We're bad. friends. What is this shirt that you got. in Australia? Look at Bobby got a shirt. in Australia. It's a stress. Dude, you. cannot fit in this. Why can't he fit in. it? Dude, this is this is You saying. that I'm fat. I think you fit in that. easily. Thank you, Benny. What are you. talking Do you actually think he can't. fit in it? No, dude. Put it on a part of. him. This is No, I It looks exact. problem. Oh, look at this. I want to. wear it now. You clearly can't fit. Take. that one off first. No, I'm going to do.

it off. Why do you have to do it off? Do. it on. Do you have boobies? On. on. You look great. Ompic. Are you on. Ompic? He is. Actually, yeah. Why are. you on OM? He's on the other one. So, so. you can fit in the shirt you bought. That shirt was $9,000. So, it's got to. fit. Okay, let's see. It fits. It fits. perfectly. Fits good. It's perfect. correctly. I like it. I want to now. Wait, are you actually on Ozic? Yeah.

Yeah. Really? Not Ozic. He's on the. other one. Mjaro. Wug. No. Wovi. No, but. I was on O. What's Wugi? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wo. No, there is no W. You just. made up WA. Hey, dude. We're not as. successful as you. We can't afford. premium brand. What are you talking. about? That shirt was $9,000. I know. It. was $9. Yeah. So, Benny, the reason why. because a girl told me I was fat and I. was and I was she was not attracted to. me when we were making out and I I had. to lose the Why do you keep going like. this with your hair? Because I'm emo, dude. Okay. And you're a musician, so.

I'm trying to be cool. Cool, dude. Okay. What's up, Mom? It's very difficult to. get comfortable in this chair. That's. the point of the chairs. I I love those. pants. Thanks. Are those uh Are those. cowhide? No, they're they're. uh they're I was shopping with my fiance. at. what? Now he's changing again. It's continuity. No, we were just we Why. does everyone have to use these mics?

Why can't they find a better system? This is one of the best mics in the. game. You've been complaining since. you've been here, Betty. Yeah, can you. complain? I wanted you to put on your. shirt and I thought you look beautiful. Oh yeah, thank you so much. Wait a. minute. You don't like these mics? As. someone who is No, I do like these mics, but I did I don't understand why there's. not a version at this point where it's. like we're like hands-free. Well, we. already are handsree. We're like, but. we're like there's nothing in our face. We're not wearing a headphone. Like. we're just talking in a room. You don't. have to wear headphones, but this is how. we hear each other more crisp and you.

can hear the levels if we play video. I. know what Benny's saying. What you're. saying? Like a lav mic or something? Or. like maybe a mic here? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. just simple, right? Vinnie, what's it. like having um a super famous fiance? Very good question. Can you go to Can. you Wait, wait, wait. Can you go to um a. mall? Like, can you go to the Beverly. Center with her? No. You never try. No. Like, let's try. Well, you don't go to. the Beverly. I know. I know. Well, okay. Okay. Here's here's here's what it is. She's like a homebody. Like her favorite.

thing to do. Let's not talk about a. woman's body on the show. That's so. demanding. Your wife's body is insane, dude. I know. I'm shaming. No, the her. body's like a house. It's a big burly house. She uh No, she. just likes to chill at home. So do you. though? Yeah. Yeah. I'm like a big ch. like I don't want to go to like like. we're not going to like we want to like. chill at us every night. Every night I. go. to all I want like I want to I want to I. want to relax at home with like my.

friends and like drink wine and like you. know what I I feel like I think I think. I'm just getting No, I think I'm just. getting old. Like I think I'm getting. older. 35 36. Wait, are are you are any. of you guys sober? No, you're not. You. just I'm I'm in the program. Okay. Okay. Are you in the program? I'm not. I'm. not. But but some of my some of my No, some of my family. I just want to say so. like. I have powers too, dude. Okay. I don't. have Selena Gomez power, but I buy my.

own power, dude. Okay. Okay. He is. Hector Gomez, the guy that works at. Yeah, dude. Guy we buy fruit from. He. works at Pep Boys, dude. Okay. Okay. No. No. I change your tires. Yeah. Go ahead. I don't even know what I. was talking. Yeah, you do. Oh. Oh, alcohol. Okay. When I was like until. like. 31, I would I could drink the entire. night, sleep zero, wake go to bed at. 5:00 a.m., wake up at 6:00, like work a.

full day. Now I have like two drinks and. I feel like hung over for 3 days. I I. and and I just can't I can't take it. Why don't you get in the program? He's. in the program. Get in the program. Also, Benny, check this out. I'm 53. Yeah. See this right here? You're 53? Yeah. Thank you. You look so young. Thank you, Benny. See this right here? That's a gun. Do you see it? Yeah. Right. Yeah. What? No. It's not a gun. This is a gun. Okay. What's What's this? This hurts. Going in your ass. No. I'm just saying. I was trying to make a point that. everything hurts. I should have done.

that. Why didn't you just show You're. right. You're right. You're right. I. should have just done this. Yeah. Why. did I do that? I don't know. I. That's like Are you sure like that. you're like feeble and crippled at this. point? Like No, what I'm saying is is. that you get arthritis. Oh, yeah. You. know what I mean? And your body just. breaks down. So, and and I'm sober and. it happened. In fact, I had my um. three-year AA birthday Saturday and. nobody came texted me in this room. I. texted you. Do you know why? Why? Because you've had a lot of sober. birthdays. Yeah. We've had to change the.

date seven times. I know. But remember. this trophy we gave you for kicking it. the habit in 2022? Yeah. Yeah. So, you. know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. relapse too much. Yeah. It happens. It. happens. Well, Benny Benny is It does. I. I come from my family is he's a child of. fetal alcohol syndrome. No, I'm I can. already tell. I can tell already. Don't. bring that. Don't I look Don't I look. insane? Can I clear the air? Yeah. And I. have known each other for so long and. that is And you're my dog and I love.

you. And when you did my show and I. asked about Selena, the internet got so. mad. They thought I was picking on you. I was like, we were teasing each other. People were like, "Don't be [ __ ] mean. to I don't read any comments." The fans. came at me. Dude, my fans look crap. Dude, not your fans. First of all, they're your [ __ ] Weiss fans. You. nerd. I mean, when you're married to. Selena, oh, you're married. I'm engaged. Engaged. Does that make your upper lip. moist? Cuz your upper lip right now is. so moist. Dude, he chapsticks a lot. You do? Why?

You don't? Because I have to now. I have to have the upper lip that's. moist. Dude, that's so funny. He's. right. Yeah. When you start dating. someone hot and famous, you have to have. moist lips. Yeah. Look at all the hot. guys. They always have moist. I got to. have moist. What? What? What am I. supposed to do? My chips My lips are. supposed to look like an [ __ ] Like. like be cracked and you doing He's. moistening. It's not It's not making. them moist now. Oh, now you look insane. Yeah. Whoa. Hold on one second. Are you. Hello, Sydney Sweeney. Yeah. Yeah. Bobby.

Lee's right here. Oh my Whoa. Dude, that's all it took. It worked, right? Yeah. Dude, are are are you in a. relationship? That's [ __ ] He knows. I can't I can No one wants to [ __ ] me. Shut up. What do you mean? No one wants. to Nobody wants to [ __ ] me. You're. bringing it up. Why? Cuz you're with. Selena. I think you're so cute, dude. Okay, I'm going to say something right. now and we're not going to bring it up. again. I'm so tired of this. I know. I'm. tired of it, too. Cuz you're so love. Well, I'm I'm tired of it, too. Right now. Yes, Benny. Yes. Right now,

what I'm doing is I've talked to my. therapist and I'm going to spend the. next six months to a year completely. alone. Why? Because celibacy. Yeah. So, no dating at all. Yeah. And. I'll tell you why. It's just not. happening. That's not No. No. I'm. meeting people, right? But it's just. like I, you know, I want to be able to. click like this guy and ride on a. unicorn. What? You deserve to be on that. unicorn. Thank you so much. I like the. way you did that. Okay. I can't do that. because I'm stuck in a plastic chair in.

between a like where's my unicorn? Now, if I'm a unicorn, right, where am I on. the unicorn? Can I be honest? That. doesn't look like a unicorn at all. Korean Korean unicorns are different. No, I don't think it's I don't think. that's the unicorn. I think that's him. on top of me. Yeah. Why are your arms. hurt? Is this cuz arthritis? Yeah. What's wrong with your arms? And why. have you been out of breath? Like, like. I smoke cigarettes. So, you're just out. of breath all the time. This [ __ ]. guy. Why does everyone come out here? I'm not saying you're picking. I just.

wanted all my frailties. Okay. Wait. I'm. a unicorn. Where am I on the What. happened to your other arm? I'm going. left. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going left, dude. He's never going anyway. I'm I'm sitting. on the I'm sitting on the horn. You. haven't found the one. I'm sitting on. the I haven't Yeah. Yeah. Um Yeah. I. haven't You deserve the one. Anyway, so. go. What's What What was the question? This is your date. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The rest of the date. What's the. rest of the [ __ ] date? Well, it's the. get to know you portion of the date. Get. to know her. She's right there. Oh,

really? Yes. So, um, hi. My riot profile. is set to 20. I know, but I'm assuming it's 30. Okay. Okay. So, um, hey Klaya. No. Oh, yeah. No. No. Right. Right. Hi, Mayo. Would that be a good name? Mayo. Hi, Mayo. Hi. Hi. Hi, Bobby. I would. probably do a joke like, "Do you like. mayo?". Bobby, that wasn't funny. Bobby, Bobby,

can you keep going? I know I'm drowning. I like this. I'm already drowning. I'm. already drowning. Bobby, can you keep. going? Yeah, I'll keep going. So, mayo, um, are you LA raised? Born. Good. Am I. uh raised or born? I was born in. Tallahassee. Tallahassee, New York. Tallahass. Tennessee. New York. Yeah. Yeah. Tallahass. Florida. Oh, I love. Florida. So, how long you been in LA? Um, Bobby, I get asked this on every. day. Oh, forget it. Um, what are your. dreams? My dreams getting better. Oh, I.

like that. Yeah. Well, I kind of want to. be You're not gonna make it. What? I'm. not. Yeah. I don't think you're gonna. make it. Why? Can I get you guys. something? Oh, hi. Hi. Oh my god, you. look so hot. Cut it out. Jesus. Oh my. god. Are you doing your Leo face? Hey, Mayo. Yeah. What the [ __ ] you doing? Whoa. No. What do you mean? Whoa. That's. weird. Watch. Oh, I bring you on a date. You this redheaded [ __ ] thunder. sticker. Ma'am, I'm just Is this guy. bothering you? He might be a little I'll. throw him out. You will. This is not how.

you want the date to go, sir. Yeah, [ __ ]. you, sir. Whoa. Yeah. [ __ ] you. You know. what, Mayo? I'm going to go grab you. I'm going to grab you by the shoulder. Get in the car. Oh my god, dude. Right. We're going to where you deserve to go. Shake Shack. Oh. Oh, I love Shake. Now. we're in Shake Shack. And that's cool. Is it Does Okay, now you're at Shake. Shack. Is he coming? Yeah. Of course. You guys want something to drink? Yeah. He just work he just works he works at. every restaurant he go and I'm like and. I'm like oh my god that the guy he No.

what I ask about you know who they are. there what they're what I'm trying to. get to is if there's like if they're. damaged if if and you you want to stay I. want to see if there's trauma no if. there's like some sort of deep trauma. going on you know what I mean if they. have a dream here in LA you know can. they make it if they can't make it I. don't want to do it how do you know how. do you how do you know if I'll go on. their Instagram 40 years to make. It. takes everyone so long. And you can. tell, Benny, let me ask you something. You know, you're a producer, right? Yeah. Right. You can hear it when when.

you if you saw a girl's Instagram and. saw her singing, would you be able to. Can you tell? Well, I don't know. Yeah. Yes, you can. Danny, look at me. This is. your your a singer? I thought she was a. boom mic. I made No, but what I'm saying. is that can't you tell as a standup if a. girl if you're at the open mic level. that she can may or may not make it? You. can usually tell a standup if they're. going to if they're going to grow, if. they're going to grow. Exactly. Usually. you you'll know if they're, you know, so. you want someone to grow with you. No, I.

just want to be able to look and she at. least she can, you know, she has the. ability to make it. Sure. She has I. don't like when people are like, I'm a. good singer and then they can't and that. means they're delusional. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want delusion. You don't. want Okay. Yeah. Yeah. No delusion. I. want a good family upbringing. Okay. Delusion. Boom Mike. Yeah. Boom. Not. delusion. Family upbringing though. This. is I always talk about No, no. Because. my mom my mom always said my mom always. says this. She always says she's like. but you know before before I started you.

know dating Selena she would always say. I I want you to be with someone from a. good family and then I don't agree with. that. My mom was from a shitty family. Like my mom has a terrible I don't you. don't get to choose who your parents. are. Sometimes your parents are. [ __ ] I don't know. I don't believe. I I believe that they should have like a. a a close relationship with like someone. in their family, but I don't think you. have to be best friends with all your. family. It's great if you are. It's. [ __ ] amazing. But most people's. parents are divorced. Most people, you. know, they're I don't I don't know. Your.

parents aren't divorced. My parents are. both are the divorced. Oh, they are. They are the divorce. Do you talk to. your dad? I I speak to my dad. Uhoh. Uhoh. You heard a daddy issue come out, right? Yeah, I saw it. I saw it. I. wouldn't date you. I'm mayo. But I'm. mayo. I'm mayo. You're mayo. I know. But. mayo. Check this out. Okay. Yes. Stop. pointing at me when you talk to me. Okay. What's wrong with you? Arthritis. Yeah. Okay. If they're in a Let's say. their family died in a fire. Yeah. Can I. be honest with you guys? I have to go. back to the kitchen. Can I get your. drink order? Cuz I need No, no, no. No.

We have our order. Just give us a. second. We get this out of here. Okay. Yeah. I have like five or if your if. your parents were died in a fire, right? And then years later, I want to take you. camping. Yes. Right. And I light a. campfire. You might have PTSD from him. And I want that. You go camping? He. does. I do. You actually camp? Big camp. guy. You never camped before. I actually. did a couple months ago. No, he did. He. does. And what did you think? Hated it. Okay. But he doesn't. But you want to. know that if you do go camping and you.

light a fire, your imaginary Mayo. girlfriend won't have trauma from that. This all adds up to me. It all adds up. You don't You guys know what I'm saying? You want to know? He's not here. He's. not at the date in. He's in my waiter, Benny. You're just keeping He's the waiter, Benny. He just has to stay here. Yeah. Yeah. I don't have a choice. He does tip. me very well, I guess. So, yeah. Okay. What What are your some of your check. marks? Okay. I had I had Give me your. check mark. Okay. Okay. I did cuz before. before um I met Selena, I Well, how'd.

you meet her? We had we had known we've. known each other for like 15 years. But. I'm saying before we started dating, I. remember I remember being like, "Fuck, like I keep doing the same thing over. and over again. Like I'm just dating. I'm doing this." And uh my therapist was. like, "You got to make a checklist." He. was like, "You got to make a list of the. things you want and need." And I had a. checklist. And And Okay, you want to. know what mine were? Super famous. Yep. Yep. Very rich. Yeah. Hispanic for some.

reason. Hispanic. For a good reason. Yeah. Hot. Yeah. Okay. Empathetathetic. Yep. Yeah. Did you say pathetic? Empathetic. Oh, I was like, what the. [ __ ] Yeah. Empathetathetic. Okay. And. pathetic. Yeah. And pathetic. Okay. And. pathetic. Yep. Uh, and tinier than you. That was all of them. Really? What was. the checklist? That That was it. No, really. What? Um, no, the checklist was. uh I wanted I said 30 or over for me, right? 30 or older. That's what I wanted.

at the time. That's that's how I felt. 30 plus. I um I wanted someone who was. passionate about something. They didn't. have to make money or anything. Just. that they have a passion and they're. going towards something. I like I don't. care what it is. Like if they were like. I'm I do those little paper football. things and I'm the best at flicking it. through the like this. I would say you. keep doing that, babe. You make Well, hey, this is my dream woman. I didn't. get mad at you when yours was mayo made. of sand. Okay. All right, Benny. This is. how Koreans when they listen, that's.

what the face they make. Watch any. movie. So true. Yeah. Have you seen Watch. Parasite? Rewatch Parasite. That's. everyone in Parasite. Thank you so much, Andrew, for defending. my culture. It is true. Yeah. Yeah. Is. he the waiter or is he Andrew again? He's He's still the waiter. I'm Andrew. the waiter. Andrew the waiter. All. right. So, keep going. I like because. I'm learning from you. Okay. And I. wanted someone who was I wanted someone. who was uh who was kind and like who. actually like. like Selena is incredible. when I wake.

up in the morning, I know what's going. through her head and now now what's. going through my head too is like how. can we make like today like the best day. for both of us like like she's thinking. about me and she's think and and I feel. like a lot of times in relationships uh. I felt like I was always giving and I. wasn't getting what I wanted in return. and she's so thoughtful, so caring, so. compassionate. So I really wanted. someone like that. I I basically. manifested the perfect person for me and. I wanted manifest. That's what I want to.

Let's go down your realistic. What was. your first date like? Uh our first date. Our first date was insane. Okay. So, I. didn't know we were on a date. Okay. So, here's what happened. Here's what. happened. We had like left. We we we. left the studio one day. We start. texting. And so, you're producing her. album. I produce I produced with her. Um. and I have for years. For years, for 10. plus years. So, you guys are in the. studio. What about this? Yeah. Yeah. I. was I was chicken. Yeah. And she's like, I don't like that.

sound. How about that? Oh, you listen. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Go. And then. afterwards, go ahead. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, afterwards, she texts me. Oh, no. I texted her and I was like, "Oh my. god." I was like, "Uh, I was like, "What. a great set." I forget what happened. Something. And then we start texting. back and forth and I'm busy that night. and and we're just texting back and. forth and and real quick. Yeah. Is there. sexual when you worked with her before?

Was there some sort of sexual tension. between? There's never been sexual. tension. You never even thought about. No, I never thought We've always been in. relationships. We've always like there's. there's always there's we've never even. been single at the same time. Professional mode always. Okay. So, so. we start like texting and somehow we. start sending like selfies back and. forth. Oh, that's how it starts. It was. like a selfie thing and um you guys are. giggling. There was there was giggling. but I wasn't thinking of anything. I was. just like oh I'm just like we're working.

on a song. It's cool. And then she was. like. uh you want to you want to get some food. tomorrow? And so, okay, so before while. we were at the session, I was talk we. were talking about our dating lives and. I was like, "Oh my god, I know so many. great guys. Why don't you like come to. our house one day and like we'll have. like a dinner and you can meet some. people?" Like I literally wasn't even. thinking about it. Ow ow ow. What's going on? Your throat. Your throat's broken. Oh yeah, my. throat's broken. Oh my god, your throat. always breaks. And as a podcaster, I.

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a birthday party. Let's go get some. drinks first." We went to my friend My. friend has a bar called Stir Crazy. It's. like a wine bar. We like went there. first and then we went to Jitlada was. where my friend was having. You know. that place? What is it? What is it? Invite me. It's delicious. You never. invite me to LA. It's delicious. Jazz. She runs. I love jazz. I love jazz, too. No, her name is Jazz. Okay, keep going. You like it? Stop getting so Stop. getting so horny. We're like, I'm a hard. Yeah. Yeah. So hard. Yeah, he's Keep. going. Jazz Thai food. My favorite.

Okay. So, we're just sitting there and. then she's like, uh Oh, no. First, we're. at the wine spot and she said, "Oh my. god, if this was a if if uh uh" she was. like, "Man, I would have worn something. different for this date." And I was like. I was like we're on a date and then she. was like what? And then I was like and I. was so confused. And then she didn't. bring it up again. And then we're like. hanging having the best time. She leaves. the date like she leaves the dinner. party and it was with other people. She. leaves kind of early. She's like, "I got. a video shoot. I got to do something. early." And I was like, "Oh, okay." And.

then she texts me. She's like, "I. haven't had that much fun in so long.". Then um Are you No, I still don't I'm. not like putting this guy. He's like. having sex with He's like, "Is this a. date?" Yeah. Yeah. Half of the date, right? Yeah. I'm so clueless. So then. we're on our we're we're like second. date. We're we're just chilling at my. house and we're like who organized a. second date? You said come over. I think. she was like let's hang out again. It. was so casual and it was so and I was. like I'm so I'm. so dumbfounded that she could ever even.

like me that I'm like okay yeah let's. hang out again. So So we're we're we're. at my house and we're playing this like. little game and it's like these cards. you pull out. It's so funny that you say. that. What? That was a Wiggoi burp. Wiggoi burp. Sorry, it was I vomit. Wovi. burp. I had an injection yesterday. What is. wiggoi? It's the same thing as um Oh, Zmpic and Mjaro. Yeah. Yeah. Where where. does it like dip is the Chinese version.

Dipick. He gets waggoi from overseas. How long. have you been wagiing? Two months. No, it's more than that. Three months. Three months. And and how. much weight have you lost? 15. Almost 20. lbs. Really? And what how when will you. do it till till you have no torso left? No, I want to look I want to look I want. to look like um Steven Yun. I was just. about to say that. Tell them what you. told me in Australia. What did I say? What are you going to get? Oh yeah. A. sixpack. You're going to get a six-pack.

He's going to get buff. You are? Yeah. He's going to get super Are you working. out? No. No. You don't need to work out. Yeah. Yeah. Well, go literally does all. all that for you. Well, let's go let's. go back to you and Selena because I just. it was a side second date she comes over. to your house. Second day she comes over. to my house. We're playing the game. there. How many people are there? No, it's just me and her. Oh my god. It's. just me and her. And then Wow. And still. in this moment, I'm just like I'm like. I'm not even thinking about it like that.

for some reason. She's at my house. There's this game and in the game it. says take a. selfie with the person next to you and I. was the only one next to her. So she. like comes up towards me and like is on. my chest and takes a selfie and then I. was and I said, "Oh my. god." And then I turned Oh my god. What? I let him do it. Oh, sorry. And I was. like, "Oh my god." And then I just. kissed her immediately and that was our. first kiss. It has to be a.

95%. You I mean you have to be. 95% 99% sure with Selena Gomez. You do. it. With Selena Gomez. How did you know. it was 99%. I felt it. When you feel it, you feel. it. Really? Yeah. I felt it. He felt it. You're acting like you've never kissed a. person before. We're getting there. We're getting No, I have. But Oh, so. 99%. You can't be You can't be You can't be. 80% sure. Oh my god. Do you do like if. she would have went like this? If she. would have went and turned away, is that.

the is the working relationship done at. that point? No more songs. No, I don't. think so. Really? No. I think we just. talk about But you would have to. apologize like I'm sorry I read it. wrong. I guess so. I don't I I Yeah, I. guess. Have you had to do that before? Have you you've read it wrong? You've. read it wrong? That's never happened to. me before. Wait, have you have you read it wrong. many times in your life? No. Like one. time I read it wrong. No, you it was. more than one. I know it's more than. once. You're lying. Nope. You're still. lying. Sometimes my time's right. No,

maybe still lying. I think every time. Every time. Not every time. I think. there's I think there's six to eight in. your life. You know what, Benny? Your. tone today. No, it went Dude, it went. from like equal grounds to like you. being like them. No, I have you on a. roller coaster. That's right. I'll. defend Bobby again. You know why? You. know why? Do you know why he reads it. wrong sometimes? Cuz Bobby lives in the. moment. He flies free and beautiful. Exactly. On the unicorn. He's the. unicorn. And so therefore, he's living.

in the moment. He assumes, "Let me try.". And if he reads it wrong, he says, "I'm. so sorry. I thought you thought I was. wonderful." And she said, "No, I'm not. sexually attracted to you.". Hi, I'm not sexually attracted to you. Will you be my friend? All right, guys. Honestly, can I take a drink order at. this point? We have our appetite. We're going to. work on the appetizer for a second. We. have to discuss this first. You come. here every week. You know the menu. I I. know. There's only two things on the. appetizer, but you know what I mean? We're not going to get both. So, after. after the kiss though, that was it. That. was off. And then we we hung out.

constantly. Oh, can I ask you this. before you're not getting into Yeah. Did. the Just You don't have to get into. specifics, right? But did the kiss lead. to more that day? It did not. It did. not. Okay. When did that happen? She. She's He wants to know date and time. No, I don't want to know date and time. I just eventually like And don't get. specific. No, no, no. Uh, when did you. guys start dating then? Immediately. That's what that was the Did you spend. every day together? No, because we're both so busy. Yeah. Um. but very very quickly we realize, you.

know, when like you first start dating. someone, you're like, oh, I can't give. them all my time. But then very quickly, like it's like, oh, I have an hour free. here. I'll hang out with them. Oh, I. have this time here. And very quickly, we realized that we were I have goofy. burp. Very quickly, I realized we were. like inseparable. And no, I love Yeah. And I met my best friend. Who said who. said I love you first? She did. She said. it so many times by mistake even. What. do you mean? Just like on a phone call.

like all right, I love you. Bye. She was. getting like uh uh um I forget. She she. was getting like dental work or. something. Something happened and she. was like a little woozy and uh as she. was coming too, she was like, "I love. you." And I was like, and I and I and I. and I I was so scared like to work. Yeah. I didn't say it back. I didn't say. it back. And then one time she was her. and Taylor Swift were at a sushi. restaurant and they were sending me a.

voice memo and they were like, "Oh my. god, this is so much fun. We miss you. We wish you were here." And she's like, and she was like, "We love you." And. then just like she literally said, "We. love you." What? And then it was like. And then it ended. And then and then I. was waiting. I I knew we were taking. this trip to New York and I was like. first class. No private. No, I don't. even fly. I take He drives. He drives. I. don't like planes. I don't like planes.

Do you take planes? Yeah. You Southwest, baby. You like Southwest? Every time. this guy has to go to New York, he has a. drive. He's like, I'll be there in three. days. Yeah. Yeah, I drive. I do. I take. a boat to Europe. Are you being real? I'm being for real. There's no way. I. swear you will get nothing done. I swear. I take a [ __ ] boat. So you don't fly. ever. Be honest with me. I haven't flown. I haven't gotten on a plane since two. Oh, I got on a plane but I got off of. it. I haven't successfully flown on a.

plane since 2018 and before that 2015. Before that 2009. So you really drive to places? Yes. And. I take a boat. But I just decided two. days ago that I'm gonna fly again. Thank. you. I just decided I was in the I was. in the shower and I was sitting on the. ground in the shower. I sit on the. ground every time I get in the shower. Yeah. And I said, "How old?" I said, "How of what?" That's funny. Yeah, it's. insane. What? You don't sit It's insane. You don't ever sit on the ground in the. shower. What? What? No. In the bathtub?

In the tub? No. No. In the shower. Sit. on the ground. Let it wash over you. Sometimes I Sometimes I actually lay. down and let the water shoot into my. [ __ ]. Oh, you never You never do that? You. never did that before. Yeah. Never done. This is what producers him. Rick Rubin. That's That's Yeah. Yeah. Quincy Jones. Yeah. That's a Quincy Jones move right. there, dude. You let it go right in your. butt. Yeah. Yeah. That's where all the. good ideas come from. It feels so Okay. So, I was just sitting in the shower.

and I was like, "How old am I?" I'm 36. And I said, "Fuck." I said, "You know, I. someone died recently and they were like. 90." And I was like, Jimmy Carter. I was. like, "That's 100 years." I was like I. was like, "Shit, I only get to live my. life like two more time." I was like, "I'm going to die and I'm not going to. get on an airplane." I was like, "I. should just get on an airplane cuz I. might die on that. I I might get cancer. tomorrow. I might you I don't know." Was. that When's the last time you were in. New York? 2018. No, I was in New York. like a month or two ago. And you drove.

there from LA? in I was in New York in. December and I'm going back in 2 weeks. and you're driving there. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess. I. thought you were kidding, dude. Do you. still want to date me? Yeah, I may. I may. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Male. For your male. Is the fear of Is. it because of death? I'm becoming more. attractive to you. Oh, it's working. It's working. See, dude, you wear them. down. Yeah. You think? Wow. No. No. Does. that work? Wearing down. Be honest. Be. be your truth. Yes, I wearing down.

helps. I think I don't know if I don't. know if you want to be like we fell in. love cuz I wore her down. Yeah, but you. wore I mean in many ways you wore Selena. down. No, I mean you were working together for. years, right? So you had that friendship. trustworthy. There was no trying though. All right. So I'm not going to try. Yeah, just go on maybe just go on friend. dates. Anyway, I don't know. I don't know yet. I don't know yet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to die soon. What's the. special today, sir? Oh, today? Yeah.

Crab crab rangon. Oh. Uh, and then crab. rangon with like a a housemade uh faua. sauce. I don't know if you guys you. probably not traveled. I don't know. Have you been to France? I haven't. Oh, how'd you get there? Uh, I've been a few. times by flight, but many times by boat. Wonderful. So, you do fly, sir? Uh, uh, before I used to fly. Wonderful. Uh, and. for our main course Yeah. is going to be. a handcaught squirrel. Uh, squirrel. loin. Oh, okay. And it's slightly.

seared. It's served pretty rare. Do you. have hedgehog? Let me check with the chef. See if we. still have the hedgehog. Because you got. it last week. Yeah, I got it last week. We might have run out, but I will check. it. We love the um the the belly fat of. that baby hedgehog. Oh my god, it melts. right in your mouth. Please check, please. Yes, I will. One second. Did Did. Chef Yeah. Did you when you were. younger, do you are you finding it that. you're getting girls easier now or when. you were younger? Bro, do you find it easier now that.

you're [ __ ] rich and famous to get. girls versus when you were poor? I'm all. here with you, Bobby. The way you laugh. just now, dude. Really pissed me off, bro. It did. When you were poor mad in. real life? Yeah, it did. Everyone. laughing. [ __ ] off. Did it make you mad. in real life? I was just trying to I got. I was being honest. I know, Benny. I got. um when I was 23 and I was performing as. a o like an open micer is when I got the. confidence to meet but before that I was.

a virgin. And now he's the king. And now. you're the king. Mhm. Were you confident. as a as Yeah, he got [ __ ] in high. school. Everybody got [ __ ] Got. [ __ ] in high school. I never got one. Not in high school. I said 23, dude. 23. was first [ __ ] Was 23 first kiss? I. mean I kissed out a girl. I kissed out a. girl. She was knocked out. I kissed her. out. He kissed her so hard they not that. room. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, I I kissed a girl.

in high school. Her name was um No need. to say the full name. Why doesn't need that on the internet? She's Why? That's nothing happened. We. just kissed. Why is that not a bad. thing? Because what if she doesn't want. her name attached to that? All right. Julie Mangle and all. There it is. So, you kissed Julie Magenol? Yeah, Magenol. And then um then the next Monday, it was. a weekend. Yeah. She denied it to. everyone that she kissed me. That's why. I said you shouldn't put her full name. in this. Yeah. Yeah. And I remember.

thinking about it for years. It hurt. you. Oh my god. Well, we've all had this. moment. I had a Okay, let's all give our. embarrassing. I had one. Yeah. My. freshman year of college, a girl lived. literally two doors down. So gorgeous. Like so cool. and we're all in like a. little friendship circle. And then one. night I wrote her a note like kind of. like a confessional being like I have. this crazy crush on you d and I was like. my heart you know when your heart like. hurts it's beating so hard and I slid it.

under her door and then I went back into. my dorm and I was like [ __ ] was that. stupid? Should I have not done that? Like what you know like and I just kind. of blacked out in thought for like an. hour and I my hand to God. I come I go. get something to eat from the. commissary. I come back and she's down. at the end of the hall with a group of. like the other people at the end of the. hall like a girl and and another dude. and they were laughing at the note. No. Oh, that's so funny. And. that [ __ ] No, that's so funny. In.

your face, you [ __ ] idiot. Killed me. That killed me. Oh, that's so sad. I'm. so sorry. It [ __ ] me up so much. Oh my. god. Or so there's a girl at the Addison. Improv. God, it hurt. That hurt. She was. a waitress. Okay. And I I opened it for. Carlos Mensia back in the '9s. Mhm. Right. And I hooked up with her. I had. sex with her. Right. Then years later, I. ran into another comic and he's like. talking about her. You know what I mean? Yeah. She she hooked up with all these. comics. He listed the name, right? And I. go, "Was I in the name list?" And he. goes, "No, she never mentioned you.".

And I it was so hurt by that. That. hurts. Yeah. Give me your hurt. When I. was 13, I asked out my first girl. Okay. Like on a on a date. My mom literally. helped me. I got flowers and chocolates. and I did everything. And and I went to. a school that like it wasn't a great. school. So, and there was like a lot of. fights. There was a lot of bullying blah. blah and there was like a big locker. commons and there was like, you know, almost 2,000 kids that went to my school.

and she was in the middle and everyone. knew it was going to happen. So, I went. and I did it and she said yes. Okay. Okay. So, I'm like my I'm like so happy, but we're so awkward and nervous. We. like don't even know. We did like this. like weird church hug like where your. butt sticks out. And then like we didn't. look at each other. And then we both. walked our separate ways and I was like, "Will you be my girlfriend?" And she was. like, "Yeah." And then I get to class. and I sit down and I remember I'm.

wearing gray sweatpants and a white. t-shirt. and do you. know you know when like Okay, so I. dropped a pen and you know when like you. bend over and you bend a little too. quick and you fart? Yeah, you did that. I bent over and I [ __ ] my pants just. full. Full [ __ ] Didn't see that coming. 100% like like not even not like a. squirt like a full like a like that like. that smart water bottle just like.

inside. And I'm sitting there and I'm. like, "Oh my god." And I and I do the. thing where you like wiggle and I'm. like, "It's there. It's in there." And I. And I'm like, "It's warm, too, right?". Yeah. It's It's so hot. I do the thing. where you wiggle. I don't I don't I have. no reference to it. Yeah. Most people. don't [ __ ] their pants. No. What do you. mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You [ __ ] your. pants before. You see Stop. Wait. Stop for a second. Did you just hear your tone? We just met. today. Yes. And did you just hear your. tone? He [ __ ] his pants, too. I I know,

but I'm saying the way you talk to me, though, is crazy, dude. No. Acorns. Hey, April is financial literacy month. How. about that? And here we want to remind. you guys, you got to save a couple of. bucks here and there. You never know. what's going to happen. Yeah, even back. in the day when I didn't have a lot of. money, you know, I remember investing. $500 in mutual funds and it it not just. helps it security. It's Yes, you want to. feel like you you your money is going. somewhere and doing things out in the.

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kit. Yeah. Okay, good. Okay. So, you. wiggle, you feel it, it's warm. Back on. track. Wait, let's go back. Have you. [ __ ] your pants with many times? Millions of times. He's seen me. Yeah, I've been with him. It's been my Prius. Remember the Prius? Yeah. Yeah. So, I. [ __ ] my pants. Yeah. And I say I say, "Hey, can I go to the bathroom?" And in. my school, they don't let you go to the. bathroom for the first 15 minutes or the. last 15 minutes cuz they think. everyone's going to skip. Okay. And I. was like, I really have to go to the.

bathroom. And they were like, no. And I. was like, I'm sick. And they were like, I'm sorry, you're going to have to wait. And I was like, I have to go. And I was. so scared that with any movement, any. movement, if I move the wrong way, it. could like break the seal through like. the bottom of my sweatpants and it. smells like I have no And so I'm I'm I'm. sitting there and I'm like And I just. get up and leave. I get up and leave and. she says and the teacher goes the.

teacher goes wait. And as she's saying. wait, I just turn to the girl and I say. I go I'll be right back. Um, and I I. close the door. The teacher is like. coming out. I run full speed. Okay. I. run to the bathroom real quick. See if I. can fix the situation. It's unfixable. It's gone through my pants. It's in my. It's like it's it's it's probably seeped. through the other side. It's unfixable. I don't know. I first I throw away the. pants and they're still like it I I it.

cannot be fixed. So, I run full speed. all the way home. All the way home and. for some reason my mom is Wait, wait, wait. You left the school just running? Yes. Are you [ __ ] kidding me? I [ __ ]. And I lived close to the school. Okay. Okay. I went in your underwear or what? No, I had my I had my sweatpants back. on. No underwear. And I remember I go. home. I get home. Somehow my mom was. there. She's never there. She doesn't. even work. My mom worked in another. state. She's like, "Hi, honey. The. gardener's just leaving.

We don't have a gardener." Yeah. I'm. like, "Mom, we don't have what? What's. Bobby doing?" Um, and we're just. friends. She's not sexually attracted to. me. Fine. It's a We're just It's a running. It was. a bit I don't like it. Bobby, drop it. Drop it. Drop it. I've been defending. you all. Your mom was your mom mad at. you? My mom immediately sends me back to. school. Doesn't even let me change. Well, you you told her the situation. Yes. And she said, "I don't care. You're. going back to school." She said she said. I said, "What's wrong with you? What's. wrong with your mom?" She goes, "Get.

back." She was probably [ __ ] the. guardian. She was like, "Get back to. school." Yeah. So, I had to go back to. school. No, you go to the forest. I I. went back to school and I I I had missed. that period and somehow like I I had. actually had like an extra pair of. underwear in my gym like thing cuz it. was gym next and like I escaped. It was. all good. But it was it was fully. traumatizing. I Wait a minute. The girl. never found out you [ __ ] your pants. Never found out. But she did. But she.

broke up with me. I think like 2 days. later. She never found out. Never found. out. You need to retell that story and. say she did find out. Okay. Um, she. found she found out. Why? She found out. I [ __ ] my pants. I thought it was heroic. what I did. Yeah. I thought it was heroic. No, you. weren't. We did stories where we were. embarrassed. What are you talking about? I was so It was the most She never knew. She never knew. All that stuff just was. meaningless. So it doesn't count. You. just gave us a [ __ ] story. Wasn't even. about heartbreak.

The [ __ ] section's at the end. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so you so get [ __ ]. But that wasn't heartbreak. Okay. So you. never experienced real heartbreak? Yeah. No, he's never had it. And that's why he. gets Selena Gome. I know we have had. heartbreak. We've had real heartbreak. Yeah. By the way, I asked out a girl uh. I asked a girl to [ __ ] spring or not. prom, but like spring or one of those. things. And she denied me. No, thank. you. This is really This feels good. Okay. And then years later hit me up. online to come to like a show. I was.

playing a show in whatever city she. lives in now and hit me up online. Hey, we can't wait to see you get at the. show, you know, can we get some tickets? Da da da. And I never responded. And it. felt so [ __ ] good. Really to deny. her. Oh, it was such good payback. Yeah. One time I was at the San Diego American. Comedy Company, okay, and the hot chick. from school, right, came from my my high. school went, the ones that never even. talked to me, right? And they're sitting. there with their husbands, but they now. all look like, you know what I mean, sperm whale.

I mean, they've got barnacles on their. faces, right? There's plankton, you know what I. mean? It's just like they don't look. good, right? And they're just killing, you know, I mean, I'm looking at them. It feels so good. God, that feels good. It feels so good. My friend has the best. story of that I've ever heard. So, my. good friend growing up, we were all. doing this thing. When you were younger, like, you know how like everyone's like. first kiss? Well, you don't know this. part, but but no, I'm just I'm I'm just. saying you said you didn't kiss when you. were 23. I'm just saying. Oh, he kissed. in high school. Oh, you can't. Okay. So,

do you remember? It's It's unbelievable. It's It's. outrageous. Just It's It's It's I've never seen it. He's just trying to be relatable. A big. time producer comes in here. It's just. [ __ ] You know what I mean? I've. defended you. No, you haven't. Yes, I. have. Keep Keep going. We'll let we'll. let the crowd decide. Yeah. Do you guys. want to order your main course at some. point? No, no, no. We're going to order. What happened? Well, what would you. like? Mayo. mayo. What? What do you. want? I like his little mayo voice.

Yeah. So, you Well, your friend What? Okay. So, you know, when when you're. experimenting, everyone's like starting. to experiment. We're all at one house. together, and my friend is about to get. the first hand job. All of us. Nobody's. getting a hand job. He's about to get. the first one. I I'm I'm not going to. say his name or her name. Famous person. out of No. What do you mean? I'm 13. This is back home when he's a kid. I'm. I'm 13. I don't know. I'm not from LA. I. don't know if I'm from Virginia. Oh, your attitude right now, Benny. Okay.

You're I'm sorry. You hang out with the. top. Let's talk about that question. I. wasn't hanging out when I was 13. Oh, that's right. Okay. Okay. So So I'm 13. My friend's about to get a hand job in. rural. Is there flyers? How do you know? Um it there's flyers. There's flyers. And he took the little thing that says. hand job. Yeah. And so so he's about to. get the hand job. We're all waiting. outside the bathroom. They go into the. bathroom. Okay. And it's like there's. like rustling and then there's laughing.

The girl runs out and she goes like. this. No. And he and he says and he's. he's mortified. Mortified cuz we were. all figuring out. We're like in that. stage. We were about to go through. puberty. We not we're not sure. Like. some of some of us had like hair and. like our dick was still small. She's a. girl, right? So her pink is even smaller. than a. normal Asian girl, no less. And he's and. he's he's he's traumatized. She leaves. Everyone leaves. I said, "You're going. to be fine. Nobody's even going to.

remember this. We're going to go to. school tomorrow. Everything's going to. be perfect." He kills himself. He kills. himself. We get into school. We get to. school and there's a substitute teacher. and our substitute teachers were like so. young. They were like college students. This girl's like 21. And I guess someone. had told her the thing. The sub. The. sub's just like the sub mark here. Yeah. She That's literally what she did. She. goes She goes, "Is blank here?" And he. was so embarrassed. He even I remember. that day. She did that. Yes. I remember.

that day. Subs are red. We were at home. We were at home and he was contemplating. changing schools. Changing schools. He. should have done it. Okay. Genders. So gender. So Okay. Yeah. He was so. close already. I mean, fast forward. This man goes through puberty and his. [ __ ] becomes huge. Love this so I love. this one. Huge. He's got like a He's got. a [ __ ] python in his pants. It's. thick. It's huge. It's How do you know?

He knows. We all know. How do you know? You know. Yeah. Everyone knows. Everyone. know. You know. You know what? You know. [ __ ] know. Okay. So, he's in. college. He's at a party. Same girl. No. No, no. Perfect. He [ __ ] her. Sends her. to the hospital. He [ __ ] her. Wow. She's And she's like. like And he's like And he And he said it. was like the best performance. He's. like, "Usually I'm terrible at sex.".

He's like, "It was the best performance. I'd ever done." And and he said he said. as he's leaving the next and she's like. she's like like the next day he's he's. leaving and he just goes as he walks. out. That's a movie. This is a movie. That's it. Never spoke to her again. It's like that. Um, how's them apples? Right. Yeah. That's that that scene. Yeah. Isn't that amazing? It's a true. wonder story. I have never had a wonder. story. Have you ever had a wonder story? You live a wonder story. Yeah. What are. you talking about? Your life is perfect.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But not like that. wonderful. We all know. We all know the. guy. We had a guy in my high school. named Kyle. I'm not going to say his. last name, but he they called him the. elephant cuz he had a trunk in in high. school. Yeah, he had he had a [ __ ] so. big in gym class, you know, like you put. on the like school issued gym shorts. And I'm not kidding when I cuz they were. short back in the day. His his penis, if. he didn't put it away, would come out of. the bottom of the gym shorts. It was. [ __ ] unreal. Here's another thing. that I want to tell people right now. I'm glad we're bringing this up, okay? And I just FYI, anyone that sees me at.

Weispa, right, don't recognize me. What. do you think? You I mean, I'm in this. You're right. You're in a steam room. It's steamy. Are you Bobby Lee? Like. they say that to you? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you we're all naked, right? It's And I always have to go not here. Not here. You say you're not Bobby Lee. here, but you're Bobby Lee outside or. just don't I'm Ken Jung here. Yeah, you're right. I'm Ken Jung and then. we'll go outside Bobby Lee. My point is. is that it's one of those places like. when you're eating at a restaurant where. it's like you don't do it here when if. you're on a date or something. Yeah.

Right. But do you think naked in a spa. is not a good place? Just wait till. we're wait till we're out of in the. locker room. Spa might be number one not. to get recognized. Bathroom is weird, too, when I'm like pissing your Oh, yeah. That where a guy like comes up and. hits you on the back, touches touching. you in the bathroom is insane. A guy, you know what happened to me? Yeah. The. other day, it's happened to me so many. times. The guy's just pissing and starts. talking to me and then after he talks to. me, he gives me a high five with his. dick hand. Not necessary. Not necessary.

Don't need to do that. I get picked up. Yeah. He gets lifted in the back. Like a. trophy. No. Anywhere. Everywhere from. behind. They're like, "Hey, you're and I. won this or whatever." Why do they pick. you up? I'm small and I look like I'm. like I can be picked up. How tall are. you? 53 5'4. Oh, how tall am I? I You're. 5'5. I'm I'm 5'5. Yeah. Thank you, Waiter. Yeah. Can I honestly get your. drinks? How tall How tall are you? 6'1. Yeah, he's tall. It's good. You're good. That's That's good height, right? Well, people always say, a lot of people. always say from the internet, they.

always they don't know how tall we are. because of the at the desks and stuff. and then they see us together and. they're like taller than I thought. I. thought you guys were the same size. Do. you know in real life everyone says. you're so much shorter than I thought. Yeah, because they only see you on a. they only see you on on a screen. standing up. You also look like bomb. Dylan a little bit. I do. You should. have done that. Just a little bit. Can. you sing like Dylan? Come on. Can't Can. anyone Oh, not not like Shalamé did. Yeah, dude. I haven't seen the movie. Did you see him on SNL? No. [ __ ]. killed. He needs to die. What? Too.

talented. Oh, the kid is [ __ ]. amazing. He's so [ __ ] amazing. He's. likable. He's funny. He can sing, play. the guitar. I mean, what the [ __ ] I saw. him on uh I like that Call Me By Your. Name. That that uh that movie from four. years ago. That was the one. You didn't. see the new movie he's in? You didn't. see the Dylan movie? I didn't see it. yet. Dude, you're a musician. Yes. You're you're so you're so I usually. don't like those type of biopics. They're usually like kind of corny.

Okay. I I I agree. Right. But this one's. not like that. This one is not [ __ ]. corny. Elvis one. No. Did you see um. Elvis one was corny as [ __ ] Okay. Did. you see it though? No. Yeah, I saw it. But you're He is right. Did you see. Bohemian Rapsid? That's the one I saw. and I was like, "Oh, I still can I can. I'm like I was right. I can't see these. again." Cuz that one was a little corn. Yeah. It just like there as someone who. like I really love like all. documentaries like Dylan's documentary. incredible and I love for me it's just. like okay the type of movies that turn.

me on and turn me off like I don't love. like those like super Hollywood biopic. things. I don't love like action movies. They're not like my favorite type of. What do you watch? Nothing. Okay. I love. like I love a movie that's going to like. rip my heart out or I love like a Amelia. Perez Yeah. No, I do. No, but I also. love like like Fort Triangle of Sadness. Like I love like Triangle of Faith. Satis. Yeah. Yeah. I love those type of. movies. And I like like uh horror. I do. like I like some horror. Okay. And and I.

like and I really like uh what's it. called? I Cuz horror is different than. action. It's like more It's like. action's like like horror you're like. horror you're like whoa. Like they. really did. It's not just like like a. really good horror movie is like so. beyond. Yeah. You've never seen. Avengers? No. Oh, you won't. No, I've. never seen any of them. You know any of. the Avengers? No. Name me an Avenger. I've never I don't even I don't know. You got to know. You got to know the. superheroes. You're pop culture. So, name just guess an Avenger. What do you.

mean guess what? Okay. You're the You're. Okay. You're an Avenger. All right. You're Nick Fury, right? You're like. Samuel. Jackson's character. Who the. [ __ ] is Nick Fury? He's just in it. You. don't have to guess him. Okay. I already. just named him, right? And so, so now. you're there's an emergency, right? There's like Mexican aliens coming down. Okay. Right. From the sky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Mexican from the sky, right? You need to hear their spaceship coming. from a mile away. Yeah. There's a. thousand of them in there. Wait. Yeah. Yeah. And you're saying you're saying. who's the actor? What? You're saying.

who's the act? No. No. No. That you you. have to call the actual superhero. So, who you calling? I'm your sidekick. I'm. your I work for you. Spider-Man. Is he. an Avengers? Yes. Yes. Call Spider-Man. Call Spider. Yeah. Call Spider-Man. Okay. I've only seen one Spider-Man. I. know. Let's go to Avengers. We're back. in New I don't know any events. Just. trying to guess. Throw it out. Okay. Uh, the the Hulk. Yes. So, you do know? Yeah, you know. Wait, really? Yes. I. just guess two. Are they actually. Spider-Man and the Hulk? They're in the. Avengers. Yeah. Okay. You could name any. one of them. You'd probably get it. right. Those are That's it. That's all. you know. Oh. Uh, Wolverine. That's He.

It is Marvel Universe, not an Avenger. I've uh I've I've only seen um. Copyright. I've only seen I think I've. only seen one Marvel movie. Which one. was it? Um Spider-Man then. It's got to. be. Oh, is that Marvel? Okay. Then I I. saw the original Spider-Man with Tobey. McGuire. Yeah, I saw that one and then. Oh, I've seen two. I I saw the one the. animated one. The Okay. open verse or. whatever. I saw I saw that. Okay. And.

someone I I went with someone's kid to. that one. Like we all Let's clarify that. story. And then like So obviously you've. never heard you've never seen any Star. Wars or anything like that either then. When I was a kid, I saw Star Wars in. school. Like, we had to watch it in. school. So, but that's the only time you. saw it. I've only time I've ever seen. That's so fascinating. I've never seen. Lost. I've never seen That's nothing to. do with superhero. No. No. I thought JJ. JJ Abrams I never saw Glengary Glenn. Ross.

No. JJ Abrams made Lost. JJ Ross did. He did lost. He made some. Star Wars. Okay. Yeah. Oh. Uh, okay. And. then I've never seen um what's another. big one of those movies. All right. So. Lord of the Rings. Never seen it. Wow. Harry Potter. I've never seen that. I. like Harry Potter. I've never seen Game. of Thrones. Wow. Not one episode. Uh I. just one episode when Ed Sheeran was at. my house and he wanted to stream it. because he was in the episode. It was. the only episode I ever So let's say I'm. a girl, right? You break up with Selena,

which is going to happen eventually. But. my point is is that I'm kidding. And I'm. like I'm at your house. It's like what. do you want to watch? What would we. watch together? Me and you. Yeah. Yeah. As guys. No. As I'm a girl. No. Don't. say that with some hot girl. This is. This is Mustard. Yeah. I'm Mustard. No. Mayo's Cousin. I would say Yeah. Yeah. What would you watch? I would say let's. watch Ameilia Perez. I miss my wife. Um, she was good at her. Yeah, she's. great. You still have to suck him now. She's Well, you watch Amelia. I can't.

even get a commercial agent. Yeah. Mustard doesn't get a lot of work. in this town. And I love I really love. like the like slapstick comedy that's. just going to mind the naked gun. Yeah, I love that airplane. Yeah, I love that. And I also love like I loved like like. like early days of Seth was so good. I. loved Super Bad all that [ __ ] All. right. Love that. And then and then. Yeah. Otherwise, I want to watch like an. indie like my mom took me when I was a. kid. I was watching like we were going. to see like the squid and the whale like.

you know what I mean? It wasn't like All. right. How about this? Have you seen all. the way through Sopranos? Of course. Don't [ __ ] of course me, dude. You. said a lot. Okay. Okay. My family My. family like very important shows growing. up that we that we watched as a family. We watched um Sopranos, The Wire, Curb. Your Enthusiasm, and Seinfeld. That's. great. Those were those were our And my. my my parents both have pretty good. tastes and stuff. I'm also obsessed with. any mafia movie. So like So like I'm.

Scorsese. I love Scorsese. Yeah. I was. actually just re-watching um I had COVID. like two months ago and was re-watching. so many movies and I'm just like oh I'm. just like I forgot like how good Cape. Fear was. I'm like oh my god and I was. just I I was going through like all my. favorite movies and like all like you. know like a Bronx Tale all those old. like those movies are so perfect. Bronx. Tale is so good. All of them. All of. them. What's your favorite gangster. movie? Probably either Casino or Good. Fellas. That's everyone's that's. everyone's too. Casino Casino More.

Casino More. I just love I always love. What do you guys think of Untouchables? It's good. It is good. It's not It's not. It's not at the level. All right, let's. end smoothly cuz he's got to go cuz the. sweetheart's got to go. Okay. Um Why are. you looking at me like that? I don't. know what the [ __ ] He's a pro. I don't. know what the [ __ ] you're doing, Penny. That's why I'm looking at you. Um I uh I. have an album coming out. Uh with with my better half. We're doing. a joint album. Yeah. Plat more for her, not me. Yeah, we are. Yeah, we are.

Okay. Good. Yeah. Don't clap for me. Selena and Benny dropping an album. Yeah. What's it called? Selena and. Benny. It's called Selena and Benny. Really? No. Oh. Wait. Wait. Wait. Let's. guess the album. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. You guys You guys each get three. guesses. Okay. That's impossible. What. do you mean? Very. Anything's possible. It's It's possible. All right. Kentucky. Lightning. That's good. That's really. How did he get it? That's really good. No, it's not Kentucky Lightning. No, it's got to be a duo name. It's her and. him. So, it's got to be like um Almond.

and Nutcake. No, no, no, no, no. This is. just our You have two now. Wait, this is. just It's the album title. We're We're. going as separate. We're doing album. cover album. So, I gave two. Yeah. Don't. give now you give two. Fontina cheese. Close. [ __ ] Okay, you do one more. Crush veneer. Okay. Can I do one more? Yeah. Isabella. Isabella. Not in this. lifetime. I like that one. That's. beautiful. Is that yours? Yours is.

That's beautiful. Yeah. No, that was. gorgeous. Oh, okay. Isabella. Isabella, not in this lifetime. It's pretty good. Your album is going to be called. uh Wonder. Yeah. What is it? It's called. uh I said I love you. Love you first. Change it. Change it to Isabella. Isabella, I do. think it's better. Can we change it? I. think you should change your album to uh. [ __ ] pants and Gomez. Yeah. Yeah.

Which one? So, when does the album drop? Uh I think it's already out by the time. it's out right now. It's out right now. Go check it out on everything. This is. the future. So, it's already out. Well, this is We are living in the future. But. is it hard to work with your fiance or. No, he's been doing it for 20 years. Um. is it No, no, no. But it wasn't. romantically. It wasn't Yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't It wasn't romantically before. Well, what is it now? romantically. Um, no, but it didn't. change the work relationship. Well, you.

guys just hook up mid session. Yeah, we're just we're just just mid session. hook up. No, uh, it's actually better. because we can I know her so well now. We can say we can speak so freely to. each other and like really, you know, if. we're like sitting in bed, I'll be like, "Oh, actually that thing we did earlier, I thought it'd be better if we did it. like this." and then she'll be like, "Oh, like I either like that or I. don't." And we can just talk about it. Some things you might you might walk on. eggshells a little bit more when you're.

working with artists you don't. necessarily know that well. And I think. it's so much better. And we've been able. to like you can say whatever you want. Like you can talk about there's no rule. Like it's like you know how in comedy. like you might say a joke that's. something that you would never say in. real life, but it's the art of the joke. that's why you're saying it like it's. not how you actually feel about a person. but you're saying it because you think. it's funny in in music it's the same. thing like you can say something like. let's say I was talking about like. someone from my past or she's talking.

about from someone from her past in a. song if you can like talk about that way. more than like talking about you know. what I mean like so it's it's e it's. like therapy and it's I I I found it to. be. much easier to work with her than I've. worked with anybody else I Wow. Because. go listen to the album. That's I mean. you sold me on it. I got to tell you. [ __ ] pants. You sold me, bud. Thanks. Yeah. And we love you. And you're. welcome back anytime. Go check my new. album. Isabella. Isabella. [ __ ] pants. What is it? Isabella. Isabella.

I forgot. You forgot? No. Because I want. to say something real though. Can I say. something real to you, buddy? Yeah, you. can say something. Um, we didn't know. much about you before. Yeah. Um, I. really like you, man. He's a nice guy. Intelligent. I think we have a lot in. common. And I don't know about that one. No, I think so, too. We're We're the. underdogs. We're the underdogs and. you're winning and I love it. You're. winning. Yeah. Yeah. So, give Benny a. round of applause, everybody. Thank you. for being a bad friend.

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