Bedroom Music & RIP Watermelon King | Ep 142 | Bad Friends

hey bad friends I'm gonna be in Boston. Boston New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve. Eve the 30th and the 31st I'm doing a. couple of shows so come out and see me. on New Year's Eve or New Year's Eve Eve. depending on what you're up to Boston. come see me Andrew santino.com for those. tickets. andrewsantino.com for those tickets. [Music]. we're bad friends here's the problem I.

have with trans people. oh why there's a problem I have is they. think there's something they're not what. are they it's really good you're you. can't be a man and a woman you've got a. pick that's so good and if you're born a. man then you're a man bro even if you. cut off your window call Lauren call. Lauren Michaels you're [ __ ] in now. oh. [ __ ] I heard what you did on bad friends. yeah pretty gerd you want to come by the.

show there's a lot of protests going on. because Dave Chappelle is coming back. you know that tomorrow night he's. hosting he's hosting SNL and some of the. writers Pro are boycotting who is Jordan. Peterson. I can't be there I won't stand for it I. won't stand for Dave Chappelle is it. Chappelle and his black uh uh uh uh uh. yeah Chappelle is hosting SNL and a few. of the writers are not the who I don't.

know who the [ __ ] it is the [ __ ] news. said it look it up I don't know if it's. you know all those fancy white Riders do. who is it I know a lot of the non-ones. is doesn't she right there Jenny. Seinfeld Jerry's daughter yeah. it's Jenny Seinfeld oh by the way what. R.I.P. to watermelon man oh man Gallagher. Gallagher died dude look at that some. SNL writers reportedly boycotting Dave.

Chappelle's return as host they just. can't take his rhetoric. um they're comedy writers dude get. [ __ ] Gallagher died I know let's go. to that Gallagher let's go to Watermelon. Man he died. he somebody told me he bequeathed his. career to his brother yeah which is so. cute because didn't they not like each. other they didn't like each other. because they were competing over the. exact same act well all the headlines. say. comedian Gallagher best known for. smashing watermelons imagine imagine.

that was your [ __ ] Legacy. like Jack hurwitz comedian died best. known for his thick eyebrows you don't. think they're gonna do that to you what. are they gonna say Bobby Lee comedian. dies best known for his uh-oh. I think they're gonna put that gif up. when you die that's true or Santino. comedian died best for known for us. Jordan Peterson impression that's not. funny it's not a funny computer it. didn't work Bobby Lee comedian dies best. known for his Bobby was a Melissa by a.

[ __ ] boy. that's your bit yeah yeah the guy dies. you know what's so funny had I had heard. that when they were kids they growing up. they both were carrying groceries in and. his brother dropped a watermelon first. there's no way it is and he was the one. that was everybody laughed in the family. yeah and then Gallagher decided to start. smashing watermelons because he thought. the bit was funny stole it from his. brother wrong Gallagher but yes Liam and. Noel does that Oasis. by the way Liam and Noel Gallagher how.

come they never smashed a watermelon in. tribute to Gallagher and I would dude. have you met him Noel Gallagher or. Gallagher the watermelon guy no I never. had a chance I I would be way more sad. if he was a nice guy why you want him to. be a dick no I every time I've I've. tried to like approach him uh he just he. was super standoffish. you know what I mean well because why. because why. why you know.

well he's he's got to be Rings now you. think so that's true he sees a little. you know what walking up right he. doesn't want a noodle in his presence. like if he would have thrown rice at the. crowd. then maybe I would have yeah just. chucking rice and the first four rows. would be [ __ ] Asians we went to the. Gallagher show it was great my wife went. blind she got hit in the eye with so. much rice no I don't know why he was. weird to you maybe it was because he was. no he was just known to be standoffish. what if he was intimidated by you be no.

no what I was a kid then doesn't matter. you were a comedian yeah comedians are. weird about other comedians you think so. I think his generation though they think. they're just I don't know holier than. thou maybe maybe by the way you know who. says hi to you that I sat with whose. might be the nicest [ __ ] dude on. planet Earth fluffy oh he's the best he. by the way he's the best nicest guy in. the world it's like where is it what. what is the thing that's negative about. the guy nothing it's annoying absolutely.

nothing got no flaws he's like the. sweetest nice you can poke him in the. belly doesn't know nothing happened. you're not canceled I did he hit me in. the face oh yeah he went and he hit me. as hard as he could yeah no he was. incredible dude he's such a good dude. such a funny what a good nice guy but he. he asked me he said tell Bobby I said hi. I said of course and he goes uh tell. Bobby uh why wouldn't he ever put me on. tigerbelly that's [ __ ] crazy. there's no way he [ __ ] said that you. want me to call him right now no yeah. because I'll prove to you that he did I. was just threatened he said.

why would Bobby put me on Tiger Blood. that's what he said there's just certain. people I guess in 10 minutes I don't. want a rejection from him. like Sebastian I asked a thousand times. he says no a thousand times that I don't. want to do the podcast yeah dude what is. with you. six feet in a row today you want me to. come down to your house wow get in your. garage what are you gonna give me Bobby. bubbly what.

I think I want to get things hydrated in. the middle of the day in the Hills I'm. good okay so that's my Sebastian wow who. else can I do yeah. um anyway what did Felipe Felipe oh. that's why okay oh there it is that what. did Gabriel say Gabrielle. well now he's definitely not gonna go on. your [ __ ] show. where did you sit next to him in here. yeah today no this past week oh wow and.

he was so sweet and was like tell Bobby. I love him I love it you know and he was. complimenting the show and then he was. like you know ask Bobby why he's never. had me on tigerbelly and I was like oh. my God it's so funny it felt so good to. me to know that. like it's another uncomfortable position. for you to be in I love that that makes. me happy why because now it's just it's. good I know I got that thing on you a. little bit. I worked with a guy last night that. loves you he lives in your neighborhood. well well he's a great actor let me.

guess go ahead. comedic actor yeah. every nominated Emmy nominated yeah. Stone Street no. no I love this game so far. that's a good game well my neighborhood. is big dude Van Nuys is huge. he sees you walking around oh yeah you. mentioned golf I'll give you some other. hints balding. second hand we want more I got it I need.

it you need more yeah. he was a part of a sketch group. part of a sketch group. [Laughter]. I got it who is it it's Walsh yeah yeah. Maddie I [ __ ] love I love that guy. he's so funny man so talented he's great. yeah Chicago loves Chicago Bears had a. great podcast yeah Matt Walsh uh. probably Emmy nominated you could he. wasn't one I thought he won he hasn't. won what yeah he's so [ __ ] good on.

Veep you guys know who that is don't you. Matt Walsh is one of the funniest one of. the funniest quickest dudes I think I've. he's the best ever uh ever seen life I. mean truly is and like you know when we. throw around the term genius in our. business I think we do think he's a. comedic genius I really mean it no he is. a genius and he um. and we will it was interesting what we. talked to we talked about like you know. he did Esther's movie Yes man I should. have done this movie. everybody's in it are you kidding me. I've been shooting everyone's [ __ ] in. it I've been shooting Dave. yeah I've been shooting what do you want. me to do.

hello FX yeah can I take off to do. Esther's movie. huh what do you mean. laughs. 600 bucks Max. so you'll take away my okay okay okay. all right all right goodbye. what would I what am I supposed to do. well they got someone better Matt Walsh. it's actually true he wasn't your. problem if it was that's actually true. no but we did talk about like.

I don't because I kept going like. everyone that's Matt wall and going he's. a legend and he's one of the best Elites. right and he didn't feel that. comfortable with me doing that well yeah. that's uncomfortable for you yeah but. you said it out loud to humans oh yeah. well don't do that oh no I would like go. into other rooms and go Matt Walsh the. Emmys here yeah and then but we talked. about like he has the same thing that I. have is like you know we we're. uncomfortable with praise. then why were you praising him I didn't. know that until after I did it.

you figured it out I figured it after I. did it like for five hours right you. know are you uncomfortable with praise. yeah oh my God it's disgusting but what. is it about comedians that are very. uncomfortable about it because I think. our whole career uh I think so often at. the beginning was so much punching in. the face of negativity and then when you. get a little bit of love you almost. don't believe it when you're young I. think when someone's like that was. amazing and you're in your mind you're. like nah probably wasn't is it because. but is it because I mean comedians. specifically the reasons why we do it in.

the first place is it goes against. praise almost. there's like there's a masochistic is. that the right word there is masochism. involved yeah but I think the tendency. is like we all want you know people who. go to their attention Seekers I think. most of us just really think we have. funny stuff to say so we want to say. funny [ __ ] but when we get rewarded for. it. um uh verbally from people you're I. don't know you're skeptical of their of. their affirmation you think it might be. false or you think it might be like.

that's actually really smart I don't. know what the philosophy is behind that. yeah because you know we know actors. like Tom Cruise actors want to become. done with praise I know they'll walk. into a crowd inside autograph they love. it yeah. you're the one of the best actors I've. ever seen you think oh yeah oh yes thank. you they love it yeah but like Comics. don't do that it's weird we're ashamed. of our I think we're ashamed and you. know what it is I think the older. generations of comics always instilled. in US you should be a little ashamed of.

your uh praise and success because when. you get two. um big-headed and on and you lose. self-awareness I think you lose comedy. uh a part of Comedy is being super. self-aware and super humbled by Society. that's that probably creates the best. comedy of all time it is interesting. because you know the comics that you. know there's Comics that are older that. still do the clubs yeah and then you. have some that became super famous in. the 80s and nice and then they. disappeared right right and they come in.

and do like guest spots or whatever. right yeah and there's no connection. with the audience oh it's almost if. they're like aloof of what's really. going on because they're not right so I. think the key I've always looked at with. that like there's some sort of. disconnection there yeah so I think for. the rest of my life I'm just gonna. always just do clubs and be with people. well no but just be you can do theaters. too but just be you forever yeah why. would you I mean you don't have to. change you're You're Perfect Just the. Way You Are. I love you just the way you are do you.

know who that is yeah who. I love you just the way you are just the. way you are that's not the way that's. not how the song goes yeah it is yeah it. absolutely is look at Pete's [ __ ]. face look at how happy I just made him. let me sing it I love you you just the. way you are. does that work let me do it on okay get. a solo. I love you. where you are pretty good we're good.

yeah pretty pretty close yeah but that. total thing I've never heard that before. all right guys. give me another line uh bring up another. song don't look at me don't look at the. screen look at me just you can look at. me I don't know how much. I love you I know that one go ahead I. love you just do it you are. right right I don't know I don't know. who you are but whatever that is yeah. wait it should be something that's right. yeah yeah whatever that guy does say I.

don't know much but I know I love you I. don't know. [Music]. I don't know much. what is it I know but I know I love you. okay I don't know much. but no no no I love you somehow you're. still Asian it's like you can't get away. from it no I think he's the closer. though I don't know I don't know. I think what's happening here and I've. been analyzing our previous [ __ ].

podcast is because you're staring at my. eyes. I think that's the problem now think of. a black guy oh yeah. yeah. I'm thinking of Aaron Neville that's who. sings oh really yes I didn't know it. okay yeah Aaron Neville's name yeah I'm. thinking about Aaron Neville yeah I am. think of gold teeth yeah does he have. cool teeth no oh but he does know yeah. he does that all right so go let me hear. it welcome. welcome to the show right wow yeah. how you doing Atlanta how much were.

these tickets. y'all know this one. I don't know much. but I know I love you and that may be. and that may be all I need to know all I. need to know. right when you close your eyes if you. want to hear it you wanna hear what it. really sounds like I know I've heard the. song before I don't know.

but I know how I love you. that may be all I need to know that's. good such a good song by the way what a. great song that was almost taking he. almost took country it was like Soul. music with country because he did a lot. of those intonations where he's like no. merch it had very like Dewberry white. Dewberry white Dewberry white I want to. learn how to sing like him you want to. do a Barry White yeah yeah you gotta I. know I want to go deep what song should. we sing by Barry White uh. Never Gonna Give You Up is so good but I.

can't I don't know how to I don't know. how to do it yeah yeah dude this guy. imagine the amount of [ __ ] that he got. you know women would throw not just bras. they throw underwear at him they would. take their pants off take their panties. off and throw wet underwear at Barry. White on stage no I swear to God you can. look it up he would collect his crew. would collect panties every show they. would take their [ __ ] sometimes. they'd wear shirts or dresses so they. could take their panties off easier to. throw on stage wow king would you smell. all of them no what would you if you. were wrong he made a blanket out of him.

oh oh here's a panty blanket like one of. those AIDS blankets they do they sell. them all together. in Washington DC a penny age blanket. yeah the guy was one of those guys it. was on one of those uh things I saw. where like women would. faint still over him over bear seeing. Barry White because they were so. sexually turned on by the guy give me a. sense of his voice because he didn't. look that good did he bro he was a sex. machine what did he look like bring him. a [ __ ] picture of Barry White yeah.

you don't think this guy's a mega babe. let me see look at this [ __ ] guy he. looks like a door man. at a club he works at the store yeah I. see parked cars last night yeah he's a. machine especially yeah yeah. all right. oh yeah yeah give me give me a song you. tell me that guy's not a [ __ ] machine. no dude I swore to [ __ ] God you're. wrong maybe back then in today's. standards you know how sometimes you. could do him you go to a museum and you. see those.

heavy naked white ladies and back in the. day you know I mean that was what was. called attractive yeah maybe that's what. the [ __ ] was in 70s but right now. unfuckable you're wrong yeah you're. wrong because because women either like. women either like two kinds of guys they. like three kinds of guys yeah they're. like super in shape guys they like Dad. bods which you have thank you or they. want a big puffy teddy bear Ah that's. what that's a category 100 people teddy. bear so they want a jacked sexy In-Shape. guys dad bods yeah or puffy teddy bears.

if you fall in between like fancy B. fancy B is not in good shape and he's. not isn't a dad bod yeah yeah chicks. don't like disregarded he's a waste of. time in fact I've been Googling his wife. I'm figuring out what the thing is she's. the prettiest girl I think the reason. why and I'm gonna get to the bottom she. was sitting in the room the other week. yeah. and she likes him I can't believe it. don't be mad I was just a joke I didn't. smell the chair yes he did yes you did I. did yeah you did too so yeah followed.

your lead I followed your lead yeah. anyway. um give me the song Let's Hear. oh I want to be that guy you can be. dude. oh [ __ ]. oh yeah yeah you're right oh maybe. oh [ __ ] I almost caught I almost can't. see.

oh. keep on. brother right on right along. keep on doing it this is [ __ ] music. buddy yeah turn it off I think we could. just make up a berry this is [ __ ] music. 101 baby. I wanna suck your big old tits what what. titties what is it titties.

[Laughter]. the 30 seconds Tomorrow song that you. want about the date start over Barry. White is the [ __ ] music it's a. compromise with the song okay come on. baby open up the front door no you're. inside I know but I cut out the [ __ ].

Street walking yeah but even though no. all right all right you're in the. bedroom no no no no no. come on baby. in the living room wow yeah why walking. towards to the bathroom Okay so I can. wash my face why did you wash your face. I don't know I washed my face every time. I make love right before you [ __ ] you. have to wash your face yeah all right. how about this go straight to the living. room all right come on baby. put on the music. watching Netflix why you are delaying.

you're giving up so much. come on baby. yeah my fist all right sorry try it. again start again here we go come on. baby let me kill you ready.

come on baby be on. beaches. spread your legs.

by the way she's gone. she's gone she's gone yeah you're right. you're right I [ __ ] it up ready now. you do a sign I'll tell you how it. really goes. that's a 10 second song. I mean you wouldn't even notice when.

you're driving the road oh Barry what oh. it's over how long do you last in bed. these are songs for [ __ ] they're. specifically made for fun dude let me. say something I've been lasting like 30. minutes dude 30 minutes there's no way. you have that kind of cardio 100 you're. running I'm running out of breath yeah. I'm running out of breath by the end of. it I'm panting you blacking out but I. can do it. are you having do you have headaches. afterwards yeah yeah migraines yeah. Babble oh this holiday season if you're. looking for a unique gift that inspires.

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don't you don't go I'm gonna pull out. for a second no let's have a sandwich no. a sandwich yeah a sandwich no I always. go let me pull out and then let's just. eat a full meal yeah wait wait hold on I. got these breakfast tacos I want to. finish before I come no is Barry White. still alive. did he die what year did Barry White. pass away 2003. wow yeah I had a hard. time well after 9 11 I did think he said. everything kind of he was done with this.

world is that what he really no oh but. you know just that was two years after. so hey okay don't bring it up let me see. the video that I sent you I do want to. show Bobby something this is. incredible because I because as much as. we love serial killers on the show yeah. this is something that we learn can you. full screen that or just pop it out. listen to this and tell me how. fascinating this is I heard this and I. thought of you a media I was going to. send it to you and I sent it to the boys. I said we have to show this on the show. because we love serial killers here. one of my colleagues asked me to analyze.

a bunch of brains of Psychopathic. Killers some of the brains that I've. studied are people you know about when I. get the brains I don't know what I'm. looking at you know it's a blind. experiment they give me normal people. and everything so I've looked at about. 70 of these and came up and saw a number. of pieces of data so we look at these. sorts of things theoretically on the. basis of genetics. and brain damage and the interaction. with environment and exactly how that. machine works so we're interested in. exactly where in the brain and what's. the most important part of the brain so.

how you end up with a psychopath and a. killer depends on exactly when the. damage occurs every one of them they. looked at who was a murderer and was a. serial killer had damage to their. orbital cortex which is right above the. eyes the orbits and also the interior. part of the temporal so there's this. pattern that every one of them had but. they all were a little different too. they had other sorts of brain damage the. key thing is that the major violence. genes is called the maoa and there's a. variant of this Gene that is in the. normal population some of you have this.

and it's sex length it's on the X. chromosome and so in this way you can. only get it from your mother what does. that say to you. what are you saying right now these. [ __ ] be making us killers. these [ __ ] be making this out of it. that way. someone's like oh it's only men that are. psycho Killers guess who we got it from. women [ __ ] women yeah [ __ ] women. you can't get it from anybody else why. is it only men that are killers because. the. m-o-a-o-a-o-a-o-a-o yeah came from my.

mama yeah yeah. so what do we do I don't know we kill. them we kill the mothers women no not. all of them no just your mom or your mom. so we I saw two minutes of that and. that's what you're it led to that no I. was interested in this no we spent two. minutes and we led to that I thought you. had to rant or something do a rant on it. no it no I just one of your funny. impressions and do a [ __ ] rant or. something you know what I mean okay yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay do it. let me go you know what you have. pre-planned Impressions no I want to.

throw Impressions that I would have. pre-planned yeah I mean I just want to. see I want to see what your [ __ ] your uh. your catalog is sure right. um let's do. um Putin. laughs or what is he talking about about. [ __ ] the moms and the and the psycho. Killers problem with mother is they are. all uh all of their brain Powers put in. their titties. and women all are good for his kitchen. and uh suck.

very good Putin there we go thanks very. good I don't know I mean what else does. he say I don't know what he says sounds. good well isn't he sick now is he he's. dying I think they're hiding that he's. dying I think he died I think he already. died. I think if he died they would pull back. no I like the Queen the queen died like. two years before they actually told us. when she died oh really yeah dude that. was [ __ ] come on we talked about that. on the show major conspiracy yeah yeah. yeah they found a body double her that. looked identical to her yeah and then. all she had to do was like it wasn't her. it wasn't her uh no all I got from that. the reason I want to show you that is.

because how interesting. that all of these Psychopathic Killers. have the exact same vulnerable damage on. their frontal lobe wow so when they say. when they're like oh how can someone get. this deep it's actually I listen to more. of this guy some of these psychos that. have completely different patterns of. lifestyle and killings all that stuff. they have the same damage is it because. of a fall something that happened coming. out of the birth canal a million a. million different things some of them. were abuse and Trauma from their actual.

childhood when they were alive some of. them before they even entered the world. wow some of them some of them are uh. latent stage braid damage he said from a. myriad of things traumatic car accidents. wow beating so what you're saying to me. right if I get in a car accident right. now you could be a serial killer and I. could become a kill after that. hypothetically really you could get into. cars if you had such frontal lobe damage. your temporal complex and all of that. got so damaged in a way where it set off. that maoa Gene right yeah I don't know. because you we all carry some of it in.

our brain in our body some much higher. than dollars but let's say it triggers. something. and then you snap wow and who's the. first person you kill we'll say it on. the count of three one two three fancy B. one what were you gonna say I I don't. want to kill anybody. let's do it again if you want to go real. yeah if you're gonna who are you gonna. kill for let's go real one wait wait let. me think I think is it I'm guessing for. you or for me I'm guessing for myself I. don't know who you want to kill okay. okay so let me hear for you well I don't.

need to count you down just tell me then. who do you want to kill no let's count. it down one two three kenjung oh [ __ ]. that came out that came out clear as I. love them I mean whoa that's what I. meant to say whoa no that's what I meant. Ronnie Chang I wanted to say I want to. see Ryan check it came out weird then. you said Roy wood did you say Roy Wood. Jr oh yeah yeah Jesus yeah well come on. baby that's not really well. oh. but but both very talented great very. very talented very talented dudes.

so you said the other week by the way. that you had an important date that's. why we had to move times for something. how did that go what did how'd your. little date go what for today you mean. yeah I haven't done it yet it's later. that's why I had to go oh it's a night. date yeah oh because I didn't rap till. like two in the morning last night yeah. they call them frater days yeah but it's. [ __ ] terrible so tell me the date. tonight where are you going to the wrap. party of the movie I did that's a that's. not a date don't take a girl to that. yeah I am why you're gonna introduce a.

girl that you're newly dating to people. that you've been working with and. friends with for years yeah that's a. terrible [ __ ] idea why am I wrong. am I wrong I hate getting impressed the. girl that way that's exactly why thank. you so much for once dude you're [ __ ]. we're on [ __ ] the same plane dude you. impress him. because here's the deal she's a fan of. Esther she never met her right you're. bringing a fan to a premiere. bad moves they're all fans bad move you.

think I'm walking down the street and. some girl that doesn't know who the [ __ ]. I am is gonna go let's go [ __ ] let me. tell you something if I was a girl I. would just be attracted to you but just. by your personality and I'd go look at. this cute little Asian guy. I don't know who he is who is he right. and then some of the girl in the group. goes that's the uh oh hot dog guy and. she goes I don't know who that is and. she falls in love with you organically. did your wife know who you were before. you met her I was nobody oh that's right. and I still am nobody me too she still. doesn't know who I am she thinks my name. is Mike. Mark or something I have no idea yeah no. but but I know what you're saying but. you're doing this to impress her but has.

she been I'm not doing an impressive I'm. going there you just said you [ __ ]. were no you're the one that's. challenging me to say why you [ __ ]. bringing her this yeah I'm asking you. and then I'm saying it just happens we. were said I said I was gonna hang out. with I said I was going to hang out with. her the night this night it just happens. to the fall of the [ __ ] night that. I'm doing this [ __ ] thing man someone. would not go to the [ __ ] thing I hope. it blows up in your face a little bit. it's not gonna blow up my [ __ ] face. you're making you're gonna make me blow. up yep I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I'm just saying that like. please she's a fan she's not a fan dude.

why do you what do you what's wrong with. you you just said they're all fans. yes it is true that it is true that as a. single guy you know people go oh you're. a comedian right or whatever yeah you're. famous. they're all fans. I'd have to go to. some other country Maybe. like Ireland or something. uh do people listen to our podcast in. Ireland yeah yeah yeah yeah hi Bobby Lee.

yeah. I mean what would you if you were single. what would you where would you meet. girls at the coffee shop let me tell you. something yeah if at some point in my. life I do become single again yeah I'm. never I'm never dating a woman ever. again. oh it's guys for me what do you mean. hanging out playing chess. yeah anal chess oh anal yeah. if I got single again I'm not going I'm. not doing that thing but how you're not. gonna hook up professionals are you uh. professional I would just do I would do.

paid sex workers for the rest of my life. yeah I just don't know how it works what. do you mean yeah I mean you click on it. you're arrested and that they come put. me you know I don't know what the deal a. little cop pops up on your phone you're. arrested please stay put I don't know. how it works I I think you got to get. like a Heidi flight so you got to get. like a right what someone in the we. gotta find someone in Hollywood who's. got the connection right and we'll get. you some no I don't want it why not I. don't want to do that but they're not. fans I'd rather be alone right that's my. point I'd rather be alone you're right. I'll either roll those dice or just be. alone yeah but but you know what there's.

no shame in dating a fan. you're gonna make me so [ __ ] angry. right now I'm being genuine I'm not. kidding what you're doing right there's. no she's [ __ ] so angry there's no. shame in it stop [ __ ] saying that man. okay I don't know if she's a fan hmm. they should they just know that I'm a. comedian what because she's not around. okay if listen she must be a fan if I. was gay right and I met Michael Bolton.

right I know who Michael Bolton is but. I'm not a fan of his music right that's. so if I'm getting Michael because he's. not getting Michael Bolton or Yanni. right like I see a guy with long hair. right on the [ __ ] thing I hate that. flute thing that he does I think vaguely. know who that that's Yanni you think. yeah but I think Yanni's cute yeah yep. and and it's somewhere in the company. like we're at a [ __ ] you know Earth. bar or something you know Yanni probably. eats or whatever right right and you.

were eating gruel whatever the hippie is. eating would it Bean girl you're the. mean girl they make you hear me and. matcha matcha green girl yeah right and. we're with our hands they love to do it. with their hands yeah like Ethiopia. right but right before we do that we got. our hands handed oh yeah you know they. love the hand of their hands Yanni and. all those white do you have a hemp. necklace yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. it's got a stone in it yeah yeah what. colors are Stone uh purple lime green. you sure it's not yellow it is it's. yellow yeah yeah and then yeah there he.

is Johnny Mega babe yeah and then we go. and we talk about like new age things. like um. Cosmos. Cosmos yeah talk to me about Cosmos I. thought you're gonna say Cosby for a. second. and then and then he's gonna go I'm. gonna go he's gonna go I'm a musician. Yani and I'm gonna go yeah I know who. you are but I'm not a fan right I don't. like your music and what do you think. that would do with a relationship you. think that would be harder on him than. if he wasn't you weren't a fan but then. maybe I would lie and go some of your.

stuff's all right right but my point is. do you understand what I'm saying I. think those are the situations I'm in of. course they vaguely know what I do right. but there's not it's not like they. listen to Tiger barely or bad friends or. they like to Mad TV well let me tell you. something what they would be lucky to. date someone like you what is wrong with. you today you're going this way and then. this way yeah yeah no but I think you. were such a wonderful person that any. girl would be lucky to have you in their. life oh my god listen my friend sexually. emotionally and like platonically. anybody on Earth would be lucky to have.

you as a friend or a lover I don't want. to talk about the planet what I want to. say to you on planet Earth I love it. thank you because you're a special. person I love it and you mean a lot okay. to me especially you mean the most to me. thank you and any girl that you bring. around she bet she's got to go through. me. what any girl that you bring around that. you get serious with me yeah when I'm. serious I already have I already have my. plan you do oh yeah what is it. well what well I I feel like I'm gonna. know the feeling you're gonna know when.

it happens right I'm gonna go it's gonna. click one day that's the one yeah I like. Veronica I want to exclusively date. Veronica right and we're gonna take it. to the next level what is that. just a committed relationship you look. at Veronica in the eyes and go you know. this you don't [ __ ] nobody else you. don't [ __ ] anybody else yeah I won't. [ __ ] no problem and we're together right. and at that point there's a list of. people I'm gonna probably call and tell. that I'm in a thing but doesn't she have. to meet these people too to get through. first I'm gonna get get your their.

approval correct yeah that's right. number one is your mom. yeah number one yeah. then probably you next then number three. what color probably okay number four. um Steve number five. um my agents and my managers okay number. six. um George okay are these guys on the. list okay no no no neither of them yeah. I mean I haven't seen Pete he never.

calls me or Texas man YP why have you. been gone so much. um I have a family. and they go to war I'm so busy I got. kids oh dude [ __ ] they need me [ __ ] you. [ __ ] you Pete all right can we uh real. quick fancy can I say it or no wait let. me guess we can cut it out can I guess. yeah. congratulations. congrats fancy he's gay yeah yeah you're.

gay yeah well he came out he came out he. divorced his wife and he's finally oh. man great because they're free right you. feel free I'm free let me ask you let me. ask you I'll tell you it's not is she. pregnant yeah yeah congratulations. that's huge we're gonna have a little. fancy around this place that's a how do. you feel 90 excited I feel good ten. percent terrify feared how did your. family take it good my family is very. excited oh they are Warrior girl you. don't know yet it's a girl it is oh my. God oh my God what is she gonna be like.

do you think you know come on baby. the number one goal fancy is when you. have a girl is to what. keep her in the house in the house in. the house what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] is. that yeah safe safe's good what else. let's see what kind of parent you're. gonna be away from comedians. by the way you're gonna raise her here.

you know when we're doing the show she's. going to be sitting in one of the bubble. chairs yeah can you imagine I already. know what kind of girl she's gonna be. give it to us tell us do you know no I. wanna. I mean I think she's gonna be like a. prop person at some theater Community. Theater. get the [ __ ] Cape yeah the king. scenes up okay where I think I don't. know where we put it last week yeah yeah. yeah what do you think she's gonna be. yeah what you just said is so good a. stage hands the stage is so funny I. think she'll work I think I think in.

high school she'll get a job at. Starbucks for sure and. and in college she'll return to. Starbucks and she comes back to LA yeah. for sure and then she'll try to be an. actor without a doubt for sure and she. will not make it never and continue to. work at Starbucks late into her 50s 60s. yeah and fancy B will be old and be like. why does your neighbor try to. do anything else. and she'll somehow also have an accent. are you gonna be strict.

yes of course look at that [ __ ]. sweater he's got on. that says everything you need to know. yeah the sweater with the collar popping. through says I'm a strict guy you know. what I mean you guys are making me sweat. yeah oh really yeah no I think it's. reality that's settling it's such a huge. responsibility it is [ __ ] you damn I'm. I'm All fentanyl there's nothing you can. do about it yeah yeah you're always at. that [ __ ] podcast yeah with that. Ginger and that Chinese kid you're never. home with me ever dad.

[ __ ] you [ __ ] Spain and [ __ ] Spain yeah. I don't like going to Spain yeah your. family sucks sucks what are you gonna. say when you say that are we gonna keep. doing the podcast into you know 10 years. more yeah yeah we're doing this forever. yeah we're never gonna stop yeah we're. never stopping this all right she's. gonna work for us yes yeah yeah that's a. fact she's gonna work in fact I'm not. gonna give up just because I want her to. work for us yeah I'm gonna keep doing.

this just so we get to her to become an. employee what do we we're gonna do this. podcast Bobby will be in one old folks. home I'll be in another and we'll have. to zoom they'll have to FaceTime us and. they'll be giving us our pudding our. gruel in the middle of the podcast we're. gonna do this till we're dead. so I'll be when she's 21 we'll be I'll. be my 70s yeah come on wash on my feet. no how come the mic not turn on every. time I come in here right no no nothing. working YouTube too slow you know know I.

say Google you know. go ahead okay that's it well she's gonna. work for us you better believe it I want. to be her grandfather I want to be like. a father figure I want to teach her. things I want to be Uncle Andy yeah well. did you take her what's. fishing shooting guns yeah yeah fishing. oh yeah oh you shoot we've got any fish. with guns don't you I don't know in a. barrel how do you get a mouse. no but we can go to the lake what lake. where could we go what look what I. honestly like like we can go to one big.

bear has a leg we'll go to Big Bear Lake. is there a Big Bear Lake yeah we'll take. it out there there's a lake out there. right or Arrowhead we'll go to Arrowhead. or Big Bear Lake right I'll bring out. the rods we can get the salmon is there. salmon there it's so far can we just. take her to Echo Park Lake how about how. Hollywood Reservoir with all the needles. Hollywood Reservoir that's fine yeah. yeah are there fish in there Hollywood. Reservoir yeah it's for it's for potable. water it's for drinking oh I see my bad. it's it's in in the event that we run. out of water which we will I didn't know. have you ever been up there to Hollywood. lake lake Hollywood no it's really. beautiful it's just so weird that it's.

like this beautiful Lake surrounded by. houses and it's tucked in the hills and. nobody knows I mean unless you're a. local nobody goes up I have no idea that. there's a beautiful dog park up there. it's great really on the other side it's. like below below the Hollywood sign oh. well I used to that that dog park right. there that's open yeah I used to bring. gobby there all the time below the. Hollywood I never saw yeah right below. the Hollywood I never saw a lake there. you go around the corner there's a lake. down there there's a. I almost bought a house up there did you. really yeah it was literally right.

across the street from that open dog. park and you would have been near hot. Lake Hollywood I know overlooking that. thing Greta Garbo a lot of famous people. used to live up there yeah beautiful. area uh what's his name uh who's got the. cane Charlie Chaplin used to live up. there. yeah he also um when I lived on Sanborn. um that that apartment building uh I. lived in was an insane asylum that he he. owned no yeah really John Sanborn and. somebody jumped off like some kid jumped. off like the third floor.

three stories pretty higher weak bones. yeah. that's not that far I've fallen from. Second Story when I was drunk in college. spooky place I lived there for years did. you ever walk past it give you the. creeps. the MS-13 gang members were more scary. yeah yeah you know they were a little. bit more scary yeah because they were. there they'll go surreal and there was. this guy named Jimmy did you ever talk. about Jimmy every day right he would. knock on my door amen I need twenty. dollars every day like clockwork did you. give it to him like I would do it for a.

year. I did it for a year and then one day I. said 20 bucks a day for a year and then. one day I said you know who has more. money than me the lady that lives across. the hallway smart and he goes what's. your name I go her name is Natasha. Leggero did she really live across the. hallway no way yeah and so he would. knock on her door and then she moved. [Laughter]. yeah yeah and then she moved give me. twenty dollars oh yeah I want to tell.

you. I watched a documentary about a thing. called One Taste what is it. it was a sex cult in San Francisco. and boy oh boy was this thing [ __ ]. phenomenal this documentary what was it. on Netflix yeah it's on right now it's. called Uh orgasm Inc. well let me look before we talk about. let me look at it for the next we can. talk about Sunday look at that oh [ __ ]. sex cult though no you can tell me about. how you feel about it next week but I. just want to your pick your brain about. I said would you ever as a single guy.

would you ever go to like a sex um um. you know they have these things called. Hedonism do you know what that is like a. campedism yeah would you ever go to one. of those where it's like a vacation I. would [ __ ] party I would you would yeah. yeah why don't we why don't we do it. let's set you up sign me up but is there. a catalog of what they look like or not. you don't know. Rochambeau yeah it's like it's a lottery. scramble you're getting what you get. right and then you do you have to make. love. I think it's hard to show up and like. eat things. I feel like that's what you're gonna do.

anyway but I do think you're supposed to. [ __ ] you know what I would do I would. take those you know the the Japanese. candies where you'd dunk the stick into. the chocolate. what is that what's it called pockies. dump dunk dunking it dunk you dunk it in. I'll just sit there and eat those. dunkaroos yeah what was that a beginner. section look up Hedonism and see how. much it is we can get Bobby over to. Hedonism can we get you to do that do. you think would you go on a little trip. yeah if let's zoom in on that question. zoom in on his dick yeah zoom on the. deck I gotta tell you something yeah. yeah pinch and spread Pete Giants I.

gotta tell you that's that's no bigger. than yours buddy mine that's not bigger. than yours it's not no so I'm saying. shouldn't you feel comfortable now. but he's going to want to [ __ ]. collaborate so he's gonna go hey what. you follow me on this and then let's do. videos together and the next thing I do. I'm doing sketches with this kind of. [ __ ] tree only fans yeah I don't want. to do that you know me I can't say no I. know in that environment so I'm going oh. yeah oh I'm writing sketches. right and then can my girlfriend do it.

right and then they're [ __ ] I'm not. [ __ ] anybody and I'm like the head. writer of their [ __ ]. Hedonism schedule yeah I don't want to. do that do you remember having a bob he. got stuck in a real Jamaica he's doing. like sketches now yeah full time he's a. showrunner in [ __ ]. oh look at this this is years ago but. just popped back up on my feet somehow. this woman blinded herself with drain. cleaner because she always wanted to be. disabled she wanted to be blind since. birth she [ __ ] doused her own eyes. and now she's blind. [Laughter].

time ago this was from years ago but it. just popped up in my feed somehow on. YouTube and I was like what this woman. threw drain cleaner in her eyeballs to. Blind herself. can you just what's that music let's see. hold on Hill she's gonna show you the. video of this woman I went blind on. purpose but I don't feel it was a choice. yeah yeah. for most people going blind would be a.

nightmare oh my God for Jewel trooping. it was the Fulfillment of a lifelong. dream she suffers from a rare condition. called body Integrity identity disorder. what I don't think I'm crazy I think I. have a disorder. yeah but take medicine. take medicine imagine Stevie Wonder. finding about this woman. did it to herself. that's what I'm saying yeah it's nuts. nuts that's insane yeah and she says she. says it's a mental disorder right she.

says it's like a thing get help. get help yeah don't Lose Yourself or. just eye patches. two pirate eye patches and walk around. with that lady yeah you could have just. closed your eyes all day. at night. all right the lengths that this woman. goes to yeah She Blinded herself and. says it was it was like she needed you. know someone says like this this her in. her mind she thinks it's the same as.

like a trans person being like I need. I've always felt like I was a guy I got. a transition to be a guy right she said. she's always felt blind and she needed. to physically be blind. right lady. yeah if you okay let's say this if you. were gonna disable yourself in some way. what would yours be what could you live. with this woman lived with blindness. if I said the gun to your head you got. to get rid of something no okay but. that's not what happened to her you. gotta all right in this scenario you got.

her I'll shoot you it doesn't have to be. something what is it my voice. you can never speak again yeah that's. how you make money that's true. I know I'm under pressure. okay take the gun away yeah bow and. arrow. what a bow and arrow I get my uh a. hearing you don't you want to be deaf. comedian I'm a standard comedian that's. right take the bow Away by the way. imagine you definitely and you put on. headphones they just keep sliding off. yeah yeah. um my knife my legs yeah get rid of my.

legs okay so that's the one you would. take one leg no you got to take both. it's a pair okay it's my legs so it's a. pair of eyes pair of ears you know yeah. yeah what would you hey I don't know. what this is yeah my testicles really. it's a pair it is a pair I got away with. it yeah yeah see I still got to keep my. shaft oh that's true do you still feel. good things with the shotgun you don't. need your ball you can come without your. ball you know you you can feel or an. orgasm without actually ejaculating come. oh you can yeah oh my God.

they need a pill to feel better after. your orgasm. interesting like when I come I'll just. just a little observation right when I. come there's a void in my heart and my. soul yeah you know in an emptiness and I. can feel the wind we all feel this way I. think I can feel the wind blowing. through it I have a joke about it I'm. telling a stage right now I need it I. need a pill to make me feel better in. that moment well drugs and then when the. calm reloads love comes back well here's. the deal. we're all sad after we come I've talked.

about this on stage yeah but I found a. trick what is it I put the come right. back in I get a little funnel and I just. put it I go I take it right off her back. and I put it right back in ah you do is. it a compartment or you stick it back. through that little hole I put it back. in the hole where I don't know what I. mean I don't have like a side door in my. nutsack. oh that's I'm sorry my bad I don't know. how to get my body works. I mean could you gem it in your butthole. and like does it you can't refill it. that way I guess we should try yeah.

that'd be cool we were like Pez. dispensers and we could just lift up to. come back in her neck and it comes back. to the [ __ ] balls. yeah I feel better again yeah or do what. I've been doing what have you been doing. [ __ ] listen to this dude. [ __ ] a dude I'm a [ __ ] Pro I know. it's called brah. edging. edging I know it master.

edger did I know yeah I like to ride I. like to ride that I don't even come yeah. you get close and you stop yeah yeah and. I leave I. [ __ ] leave dude really yeah a couple. times I've done that I look at the. garage we're edging today it's like what. should we get really close then you give. up and I'm about to come I pull up I. leave. yeah. then what like drive home. it's hard no emptiness hard yeah no it.

goes down it doesn't hurt no but then. don't pee. for a while how long it come you know. you know sometimes you ever done that. well you make love and then you pee and. 19 sprays come out yeah and you have to. clean the [ __ ] put your finger on the. hose. I hate when that happens sometimes I'll. have morning wood in the morning yeah. which I know you don't get anymore no I. get them now you do full-blown dude. every morning wow every morning I guess. you're back baby I'm back my shoes back. yeah yeah the kid is back yeah he's one.

of those cars that Jay Leno has like you. know I mean in good condition but old. it's a Model T you know yeah. do you guys still get morning wood yeah. yeah yeah when you get morning wood. sometimes you had to pee from the night. before and then you have to wait till. the boner goes down so you can pee yeah. it's I have to just like stand in the. bathroom oh I hate or no that's not what. I do and you push it down and piss I. pinch it oh dude yeah I pinch it what do. you guys do dude what do you do if you. wake up hard you gotta piss I got I just. go I got I got [ __ ] to do.

I clean it up I just gotta go I gotta go. I gotta take care so you clean the. ceiling of your bathroom. yeah it's early yeah yeah but the. morning wood in the morning though isn't. out of horniness no I know yeah it's. weird right you know there's two reasons. it happens I don't know I'm not a doctor. you teach me well one of them is. actually to protect you from pissing. yourself at night do you know that no so. if enough blood is blocking is filling. the muscle of your penis it's to it's to.

Aid your uh prostate and bladder from. not expelling yeah if it's bubbling up. yeah the other reason is from. [ __ ] testosterone surging through. your body first thing in the morning we. are the horniest in the morning men have. the highest testosterone count first. thing in the morning no I did not know. that well that's why we're morning. [ __ ] and women are night [ __ ] it's. insane what's crazy about there's a book. all about it what's crazy is they're. primed to have sex in the nocturnal we. are primed to have it first thing in the. morning because historically we would. want to get up [ __ ] and then go kill and.

gather for the rest of the day oh we. wanted to go [ __ ] go get the food go. do this thing so we had we wanted to. rope a nut off first thing in the. morning let me ask you something could I. not do that back in the day. you would not have been a hunter and. gatherer yeah could I not do that you'd. have been a homemaker I mean is there. other options or that was the only. option as a guy as a guy you had to go. out and kill and gather or you were. killed by the by the community a shaman. I think you could be that's it I'll be. the small guy I'd herb smoke you know. what I mean have a hot but even him you.

know they'd kill him pretty quick too. maybe could I be making moccasins. let me see your hands. yeah I can make moccasins yeah imagine. imagine. um some [ __ ] white Cowboy careening. over a hill with his horses and seeing a. tribe of Indians Cherokees if you will. and of all these um beautiful Cherokee. men and women sitting in the middle of. them is a little tiny Korean man.

how did you get there oh it'd be like. Last of the Mohicans probably yeah but. it'd be funny. it'd be first of the Koreans yeah oh. yeah yeah it wouldn't be like first of. the Koreans first of the Koreans yeah. it's a group of Cherokee men and women. yeah and you I want Daniel Day Lewis. still to play him 100 he's a great how. could he not he's a great actor who's. the white who's the lead white that. finds you oh [ __ ]. um it's got to be um Christian Bale CB. very really good right all right right. and who's and who who does he befriend.

who's the native that he befriends. what do you mean see he befriends one of. the natives to try to get to you to the. first Korean right but you are protected. by the community and they don't want to. let you go you're basically gold to them. right you're a barter they barter you so. who would play the friend who would play. the native friend a native friend do you. have any native friends from the show do. you have any native friends from the. show I just asked taika to do it. okay take away Titi is native but not. native to America does it matter it kind. of does okay in this regard yeah I think. we'd have to stick with the real Charlie.

Hill is that is he on the show I want to. put Charlie Hill in there who is that. man he died oh we can't see Gio man we. can yeah there's CGI and everybody now I. know I know. but yeah the first of the Korean that's. a good movie idea the very first of the. Koreans yeah and they get and they want. oh their whole job is to try to get you. away let me ask you about Last of the. Mohicans sure I never what even as a kid. when I watched that movie. and this is just a question and it's not.

comedic in any kind of way it's just a. real question we'll find a way you think. that if uh. native person yeah found a white baby. they would be like hey let's bring him. into the tribe or do you think they. would throw it in the river. interesting I mean honestly no no I mean. the white people have been slaughtering. them they find a white baby you think. they're gonna be you're one of us or. would they smoke him well I'd use it as. collateral oh as a chipping right they.

would use it they would basically. they've got a free hostage right I would. use that as collateral it's like what. the Russians are doing Brittany Griner. all right it's like they're not letting. that girl out interesting she had a. little bit of weed they're not letting. her ride they're using her to [ __ ] with. the United States yeah so you would use. the little white baby yeah you know and. some whites came along the hill you'd. get what you need you're like we'll kill. this [ __ ] a white baby is a lot of. money worth the most I mean it's the wor. like you know if they got a Korean baby. what is that a couple of I mean a couple.

of pairs sheep hide yeah one sheet one. sheep hide and a [ __ ] you know I mean. what would you get dear bone one deer. bone yeah like a leg like a leg bone. right but a white baby is Wow first of. all you get a live deer for six horses. white baby six horses six horsepower. baby yeah yeah yeah right six horsepower. how much would a block baby. good talk why is it Korean yeah yeah I. know I'm this is not for comedy uh six. black horses you'd get stallions okay. good you get six down good save.

very good how about a Mexican baby. you got a dozen donkeys okay okay. [Music]. I let right. uh Middle Eastern maybe you tell me you. already know 12 camels. let's go harder right.

um a Chinese baby. you know six companies I guess yeah. six corporations. Six movie theaters I'll say six pounds. what about what about Russian baby oh. [ __ ]. two tanks. two tanks yeah yeah a Russian bit no one. tank tanks are expensive they're so. expensive they're so expensive what. about a Spanish a spin a baby from Spain.

oh God Spanish baby. [Laughter]. I think you get two siestas yeah yeah. that's an interesting thing I gotta tell. you yeah. if you're right in retrospect if we're. going back to you being genuine they. would kill that white baby on the spot. that when I was watching that movie they. would use it I'm like why would they do. that no they'd use it as like a pinata. I know try to see what's happening.

yeah I mean I mean that baby would not. be alive you poke a couple holes in it. whistles like that old football. I know I mean that's a true movie oh. that's a yeah yeah that's what would. happen native yeah the native football. game and they use the white baby as the. ball yeah that I believe and why is the. last of every in these movies a white. person lasted Samurai white dude yeah. Last of the Mohicans white person I. think it I think it's uh projection I.

think you guys want us out of here. I think you want us last because we're. we've been first for so long no you're. the last of the people yeah because you. they've gotten rid of us. but you guys are writing these movies I. know because I think we want to get out. of here oh is that what it is well you. guys are taking over we gotta get the. [ __ ] out of here all right okay I get it. you're like a freedom writer Freedom. writer or white I'm one of the guys like. in the 60s you I think you would be like. on the bus with the you know civil. rights yeah yeah but you know what I'd. be killed immediately I know because the.

redhead they're like oh you're gonna. kill that [ __ ] guy they're not gonna. let me live yeah because they don't they. look at me I don't look like. Massachusetts yeah yeah yeah yeah I look. like Scott White scum they think I'm. scum the what the rich whites the. wealthy whites when I go around them. they look at me weird really I don't. look like any of those guys yeah like. the Kennedys bring up the [ __ ]. Kennedys you want to talk about when. whites see wealthy people they know it. what they they have a [ __ ] look you. could be a candidate [ __ ] no I could. if you wore a suit and you took that.

[ __ ] you look at what they look like in. the face look at the Kennedys look at. his face they have like a [ __ ] they. have a jawline thing that's very similar. no the Kennedys are look at that thing. no yeah look at Bobby and look at him. look what they look like they have like. a teethy toothy oh. yeah I get it when white people have. teeth I don't like it in East Coast it's. in the east coast it's a wealthy look at. him and his brother with his stupid. [ __ ] hair right now I literally can. only focus on all the other teeth.

right there but it's it's something. about that East Coast wealthy elitist. they look the same yeah bring up a. picture of the Rockefeller family let's. see what the Rockefellers look like yeah. you're right or the Gettys do you know. about the Gettys I love the Gettys. they're built billionaires Billy a. billion billionaire let me see what the. Rockefeller family looked like I bet you. they're teasy toothy as well. get that pig look at that big [ __ ]. picture oh look at that is he not a. teeth you tell me that's not a teethy. toothy white yellow teeth it's a yellow. tattoo well it's an Asian tea yeah is.

that the rockefeller's right there the. history of the Rockefeller family zoom. in on those guys see they learned over. the years they're not no one's teethy. tooth and in that one they learn they're. all closing their mouth conscious right. they had a meeting they're like no more. treaty truthies bars can't be seen. teethy toothies. they just seem powerful huh because even. if you didn't tell me who they were I I. would get scared of looking at that. photo Rich whites are just different. there's something else about the wealthy. wealthy whites in America have this. [ __ ] look yeah they have a thing.

it's scary. all right well here's the deal I love it. if I book Hedonism for you. I'm not gonna go please stop let it go. I'm gonna book it I'm not gonna be there. why. can we film it. if we film it for the show will you go. what about this now pay for it I'll pay. for all of it. I'll give you something else all right. bad friends has our own hedonism. right so what we do is what we'll do is. we'll do it in the desert so we'll get.

like the biggest house Airbnb. Bakersfield. you want to do in Bakersfield yeah it'd. be funny yeah we'll go to back. Bakersfield you know what we'll rent out. one floor of a hotel in Bakersfield and. we'll open up all the doors right so. people go in and out rooms right and we. call it bad friends you know what I mean. Bakersfield Bakersfield bad friends. Bakersfield sexy time sexy time yeah. it's a long title but we're working sexy. time with bad uh yeah right we'll figure.

it out. and then and we. silver my hair right sandals penis out. it'll be out robe open baby I can't open. with pretty penis oh yeah I'll welcome. people with my dick out you're right. that's the best one I mean we want him. to stay right right so they come out of. the elevator I'm there oh Bobby maybe we.

could record come on baby. what walk down the street. no open the door. yeah yeah can you see my little guy yeah. yeah yeah I do. I have to do a giggle back yeah right. yeah name please.

name please Christian room 4B oh. get naked. all right baby can I tell you something. how hotels work four would be tough. why 4B. what are you on Friends. how many hotels have you stayed in oh. yeah you're right you're right it's like. 308 or oh yeah yeah you're right right. or 19. yeah my bad 4B what do you want a. sitcom. just Kramer and 4C it's a booty I'm here.

for the [ __ ] no it's a boutique hotel. you said a whole floor oh that's right. okay what are we gonna rent really like. a Marriott like a courtyard your room. four three twelve. is that better on the 43rd floor. on the 12th room yeah by the way there's. a couple of fans at home right now. they're just figuring out that those. numbers coincide with the floor oh right. yeah some people are like what what yeah. so the 43rd floor I'm in the 12th room. in the 12th room okay thank you right. yeah I go in the door open I go in there. and who's in there jerking off I'm but.

here's the thing who is in there jerking. off I am because I had one she goes to. the [ __ ] room I take a back [ __ ]. wave right change all right and just. start jerking out she's like she thinks. it's magic right it's like how did you. right yeah come on baby right. that'd be cool thank you for being a bad. friend. [Music].