Bad Breath Friends | Ep 164 | Bad Friends

[Applause]. [Music]. and look at the run that we're going on. we're gonna go on the Texas run. yeah. Houston and then we go up to the. Northwest we go to school. and then we go to Phoenix where my mom. is. and then uh after the big break we go. down to Florida finish the rest of the. trip we'll go to bad friendscod.com.

badfriendspod.com for those tickets and. we want to say sorry to our friends in. Virginia yes so sorry um we had a. scheduled conflict and we had a. scheduling conflict it was stuff out of. our control I'm so sorry we had to. reschedule we'll figure it out we'll get. back out there sometime somehow someway. it wasn't us no we're going to make it. out so I'm sorry Carlos's fault it's all. Carlos's fault Virginia blame it on. Carlos the [ __ ] King go to. badfriendspod.com for tickets. badfriendspod.com you two are bad. friends who are these two idiots.

[Music]. or something we're bad friends and we're. back we're back with the boy and kiss. the Dalai Lama. Maria's right there so how was it when. the Dalai Lama kissed your time I. thought I thought it was weird it was a. little strange he's a thick tongue did. you see it juice did you see the Dilemma. kiss a little boy's tongue oh I watched. it a lot of times let's check it out I. know this episode's gonna come out way. after this man do I want to see this. yeah yeah give me smooch whoa give me a. kiss oh. so weird yeah so sweet so weird does the.

Dalai Lama have not people like other. monks around them God yo yo yo yo yo yo. cameras Dolly cameras there's a there's. a Catholic Church down the street we can. go there well but look but look the. funniest part about it is yeah he didn't. sneak it he stuck it out and led with it. you know when you so when you see. someone go like this when you see. someone like go to kiss someone they go. and then you Dart the tongue in.

like a little arrow yeah he sparked. controversy film kissing a boy suck his. tongue what a weird he asked him well. that's what Namaste means oh that's. Namaste yeah people don't know what. Namaste I mean that's suck my tongue. Namaste. uh. do you think it's over no no no no no. it's the beginning I think we're gonna. find out how many tongues he's kissed. right I think this is the Dalai Lama's. thing that's my opinion yeah are they. celibate do they have to be does does.

the Dalai Lama has to be celibate or no. because then we got a whole Catholic. church thing going on Pete you say yes I. say yes yeah Pete says yes Carlos has no. idea I'd say no ultimately the Dalai. Lama who like all Tibetan Monks is. celibate himself yes so yes said gay. marriage was up to each government and. was ultimately individual business yeah. gay marriages no come on Dalai Lama it. can be a business this says he's he he. voices support that doesn't sound like. he supports gay marriage. that sounds like he's saying yeah kinda. it's up to you if the local government. says you can't yeah what he's saying.

he's like look if they Stone you they. Stone you I think you gotta let them do. whatever the [ __ ] they want who cares. that's insane. this is a gay marriage by the way you. and I what this is a legal gay marriage. yeah we've been performing together for. how many years now this has got to be. under California state law we don't have. that we rent this place together I know. but I looked it up they don't have it. you're worried about it I don't want to. marry you too I don't be legally [ __ ]. bonded. oh there's gonna be two versions do you.

do the American version we do Asian. version. yeah yeah. juicy is back in the studio with us. thank God because man did we miss you. what where have you been. um you know after that tour we've been. doing I've yeah we've been on tour we've. been on tour so much so heavy how much. fun have we had on tour oh I love it. it's been I love it so much been. incredible yeah can't wait to do more. yeah I can't wait can I just say one.

more I'll gripe I have give me the. gripes I'll give you one more drive. right I was driving down the street I. almost had an accident because I looked. at a billboard right they did another. Peter Pan. what are you talking about I can't watch. another Peter Pan there's a new one and. you know the two things that whites do. Peter Pan every year and they make a. Robin Hood I don't like any white people. dressed in green green can I first of. all that's my ancestry that's my history. you know leprechauns can do it thank you. right but what's wrong with Peter. everyone here they make a movie about.

Peter Pan and Robin Hood man what's. wrong why what's wrong with this Peter. Pan why don't you like it because I I. know the story look at that that's. literally our show that's you on the. left yeah that's juicy that's juicy as. Peter Pan so would you Peter be Peter. Pan I'm hook for sure. is Tinkerbell in this is that Tinkerbell. I don't know the black chick on there. it's never been a fat asian guys. Tinkerbell by the way can you imagine. yeah he'd have to take so many breaks. flying around he wouldn't be able to fly.

you'll just be walking around with the. swings a flightless Tinkerbell yeah. flightless yes the black girl wait who. is it that's what's her name I know her. right she's. mm-hmm. yeah Yara Shahidi no she's famous she's. she's really good she's super talented. so she's Tinker Bell who's pan who's. playing pan my dog who we got on pan. probably a black guy oh Gaffigan is in. this that's right I heard that Peter Pan. is a kid named Alexander Malone Maloney. oh so they went they went a different. way what do you mean.

zoom in I'm not see. I gotta be honest with you yeah okay you. look at that picture of that gentleman. yeah that looks like Tinkerbell to me. yeah yeah. that totally looks like what that looks. like Tinkerbell why couldn't that by the. way why couldn't Tinkerbell be a guy why. not that's true yeah if we're fighting. all this equal right [ __ ] then how come. Tinkerbell can't be a guy thank you oh. fat asian guy. also who's playing Rufio. a different movie dude totally different.

that's completely different world you're. you're involving two completely. different story lines and a thing that. what about this is that Peter Pan nah it. is but that's a sub that's like under. the umbrella of the pan Universe just. like Hook is Under the Umbrella of the. pan Universe Peter Pan is the star of. this okay Rufio exists hook exists but. in this one the stars are you know Jude. Law is playing Captain Hook in this. uh-huh perfect perfect uh Gaffigan's. playing schmee which is amazing amazing. no Rufio because I don't think maybe.

they don't show Rufio some love okay you. know the Rufio Rufio you know that guy. that actor I love him what's his name. his name is um they're the uh they're. Brothers. because I used to audition against them. all the [ __ ] time. yeah Dante and his brothers I used to. see them at commercial auditions in the. 90s he's the man yeah and this dude he. can rap break dance he can do everything. he can do everything dude this guy look. at him saying he's pretty yeah he's got. it all half mustache half stash yeah you. can't grow a real real beard though no.

but he can't even grow full mustache. look at that get pepper it in okay they. paint it in there's that one oh yeah. that's right okay so if this studio if. bad friends became for real let's be. honest if bad friends became Peter Pan. if they do the rendition next year yeah. you're complaining but if they offered. it to us we would all do it oh yeah. right okay well Pete would play the boat. [Laughter]. right that name is Pete who would be the. boat out of us this crew all right.

first of all Pete would be schmee he'd. be schmee okay. I want to be hook right Peter Pan has. got to be juice that's gotta be Peter. Pan even though he's a redhead clearly. yeah yeah yeah yeah and and Carlos is. gonna be who Wendy Darling or no he's Mr. darling he's Mr darling look at him. there. wasn't Mr darling bald in the original. but also can't we just like he could be. this guy right aren't there a bunch of. pirates on the boat so many Pirates he. could be pirate number 14. let's hear. your I want to be a pirate let's hear.

your pirate yeah our matey oh no fire. you're never gonna get the job by the. way you gotta [ __ ] try not only did. you not commit you didn't even try our. matey. is that how you would do that we're. serious about this dude we're pitching. Peter Pan back I I feel like pirate. number 14 doesn't really talk we're. producing the movie we're gonna give you. a line [ __ ] face no not anymore. how about this you can be caught Chief. you'll be caught Chief thank you what do. you mean who's caught Chief or slightly.

I don't know much about it I think. that's from Lion King yeah no dude. that's Peter Pan my dog caught Chief. look he's like a native yeah he's one of. the Native he's one of the Native. characters oh he's tiger Lily's father I. don't remember this story well you. should watch the movie again like I do. every year when the likes remake it. but you're a Robin Hood fan too. look I liked Robin Hood but steal from. the rich to give to the poor it's like. the poor have enough you know what I. mean right porridge it's so delicious no. no keep the rich rich is my whole thing.

yeah I want Robin Hood where he robs. from the poor and gives it to the rich. yeah I want Robin I want I want a real. Robin Hood robbing the hood why don't. you rob from the poor give to the rich. give to the rich that's what I always. say too give to them it's easier to rob. the poor as well way way easier yeah. they're up security. right you know what I mean they don't. have much so it's like yeah yeah let's. do a real Robin Hood yeah yeah and then. um who we give it to. Elon Musk you gotta give to someone.

that's struggling you know someone like. Gates or somebody oh yeah yeah someone. that needs it yeah I read a thing today. that's a very it was obviously from a. conservative post and it said Bill. Gates's private jet in one flight causes. more carbon emissions than your entire. lifetime of of the vehicle that you own. the car that you own wow look that up. Bill Gates says flying in a private jet. doesn't make him part of the problem. because he invests billions into. fighting climate change oh I have black. friends that's what that is but I have. black friends yeah. all that means to me all this really.

says to me is get rid of your car let's. all have a jet yeah you think what Bill. Gates dies and I died at the same time. that we would be waiting in the same. line at the Pearly Gates or is he. treated differently you think you're. going to the gates. well I'm just Bill Gates goes to the. gates I know I don't go to the gates. he's named after like do we get stuck. around. you probably had no someone that will. sneak you in totally whenever you for. sure for sure for sure I know people. where am I though in line this yeah yeah. Bob Bob yeah and you go I don't I don't.

think I know him I don't yeah oh he's. like hey what about would you let jet. ski in I'd already been I'd be like. these guys are good oh thank you and. that's really confident of you yeah yeah. I would probably let maybe her in yeah. um I would let um who evil would you let. in if you could sneak people into the. Pearly Gates who would be someone that. shouldn't get in that they're in the. Purgatory line oh God I mean because I. want to make movies out there. yeah that's I mean I think I'm going to.

try my Hannah directing in in the in. heaven so who are you sneaking out. we gotta have to produce it you got it. yes. [Laughter]. oh yeah he'll direct you look serious. he'll say I can promise he can get the. second movie. but just only be for Creative to be. Creative Juice who would you let in if. you could sneak in some people that you. know don't deserve to be in but you'd. let someone in who would you have to. sneak in would you be okay with being.

like look. [Music]. is Stephen Hawking still alive no no. he's dead right did he die yeah he's. dead I'd let Hitman you would he's. already in why would he not be in why. was Stephen Hawking up here I don't know. man why because he's Twisted well. because I don't think it's wheelchairs I. don't think it's wheelchair accessible. yeah it's a Stairway to Heaven it's a. Stairway. yeah it's a Stairway to happen it is oh.

before we get too far off I have an. announcement to make oh [ __ ] I got a. text message from who from the big Q at. The Comedy Store from Quincy they. finally got those I know I've been. getting texts from doorman all day well. I didn't get any texts from anybody by. Quincy uh I told him to thank you guys. no no they they all came up to me and. went thank you so much I mean they were. so great finally the show that we did. for charity finally got paid to the door. people the men and women of The Comedy. Store I did not get any text other than. from q but thank you to Quincy I'm going.

today after this podcast I just haven't. been to the store since I actually. haven't been since. I left for Australia so I haven't been. in what months three months yeah four. months yeah so I haven't gone back but I. did hear that they got paid so thank you. for the comedy store for being our home. Club our Palace and giving back to the. people that we wanted to give back to. because that's what bad friends does we. give back isn't that true we do we do so. thank you yeah and uh and I hope. everyone uses it for something that they. need you didn't get any I'm I'm going to. oh you're running a chair you guys told.

me to she was still a door person when. we when we did this whole deal give it. to somebody else all right no no no. she just got a new apartment give us an. update on the new apartment by the way. oh I love it but they're evicting my. neighbor. is that why you love it well I'm gonna. love it even more soon but she does like. weird things like plays her music really. loud at night and she's getting evicted. because I think she stole some packages. from me what are you my dad I'm not a. victim slow down snitch plays music at.

night like like someone that's cool and. steals like a cool person what do you. not what do you don't like about this. I'm just relaying the message. acoustic guitar. speaker is loud oh the speaker oh she's. not playing it herself well she says. it's like religious music oh yeah but. I'm like who's got to pray that yeah. yeah yeah. it don't sound like that it's like oh. that is religious yeah I think that's. Coptic Christian I think it's a new I. think that's a whole new thing that they. do listen to like EDM now yeah it's you.

went to church a couple months ago. because I met that girl I met a girl and. she's a Christian I went to church do. you know that you told me but you I. don't think you really went you actually. I literally went I wore a suit and. everything. what church did you go to it's called I. don't want to say I don't want to. because I'm about to rip on them okay. yeah yeah well can we beep it yeah it's. called. um. church or something like that oh dude. this is one of those new age weirdo. churches yeah and but here the music you. know how um Christian music used to be.

kind of bad when all the whole. throughout history when was it bad you'd. love it bathe in the blood of Jesus I. love that song oh you do I love that. stuff okay well you know they're doing. now like a Lumineers kind of sound like. you know what I mean we had the guitars. out and like hey you know what I mean. like I I know what you're doing you're. trying to hip it up you're for the Youth. right but it's like Lumineers bro what's.

wrong with hipping it up for the kids. create your own [ __ ] bro. Dr dog is playing my church this weekend. there's a couple of good bands that are. coming through my church this weekend. yeah I mean what's wrong with that. here's why I'm not a Christian okay. I can show you why okay this is the only. reason why because it's like God can't. go to Tom New York. and go hey write me a song right why. can't why can't God go to the best. singer-songwriters right but he doesn't.

he always goes to like Creed. the line Scott Stapp is the best song. ever okay all right to each his own what. did you want him to who did you want him. to go to Tom York by the way go to the. Yeah Yeahs go to Carino and like write. us a song okay maybe I like it Karen O. would be a because Banger about God yeah. yeah who do you think would make the. best genuinely the best rock song about. God stuff. like who could not just saying a good. band but look who in their repertoire.

would make a song that would line up. with like God [ __ ] well if I was the. producer I'd say you know make it about. God but don't say God allude to it so. that everyone can like it well like that. like that song uh you know what like. that song uh Take Me to Church uh by. Hozier yeah yeah that's a great song. that's God [ __ ] but that's a great song. yeah that's a great thing I know that. song I haven't sing it take me to the. church. Hannah.

go ahead. right something like that right that's. it yeah Take Me to Church lyrics go I'll. worship like a dog at The Shrine of your. life. yeah that's good let me give you. that's a dismantling of Catholicism. that's what that song is so powerful. that's what he's saying I'll worship.

like a dog at The Shrine of your lives a. shrine of your lies I'll tell you my. sins you can sharpen your knife offer me. that deathless death good God let me. give you my life it's a great poking the. bear of the church that's one of my. favorite songs it's a good song I have. it oh so this is one of those things. that your parents could listen to and be. like what a song they have no idea what. he's saying I love it he's singing about. God yeah take me to church he's saying. someone wants to take him to church. by the way my dad made this mistake I'll. never forget remember uh Because I Got. High remember that song Because I Got.

High because I got her yeah who sang. that. I was gonna go to work but then I got. high Afroman Afroman my dad I'll never. forget who shunned me for smoking pot. most of my youth one day was like have. you heard that song by Afroman uh. because I got high and I was like yeah. how have you heard it he's like well. listen to the lyrics he tells you. exactly why his life went downhill. because he got high yeah I was like no. dad this is promotional of marijuana. he's like no it's not bring up the. lyrics because he says I was gonna go to.

work then I got high I was gonna do this. but then I got high he's like see it's a. downward spiral of failure I was gonna. clean. well he goes I was going to clean my. room then I got high yeah see my room is. messed up and I know why really yeah my. father thought this was like him trying. to say hey man don't smoke pot you won't. get anything done right I was like no. dad this is him saying I was gonna do. this stuff my homework but I don't feel. like it because I want to get stoned. yeah he's like no you're wrong I'm like. well however you interpret it that's how.

you learn music is gonna mean something. to some to other people and it doesn't. matter because the writer doesn't have. control over how people go that's why I. like it yeah you know it's like remember. when Bruce Springsteen admitted that he. was like I never worked in a [ __ ]. Factory do you see that on the. documentary yeah Springs needed a. documentary he was like his dad did yeah. but he was like he witnessed his dad. yeah he saw humans live these lives but. he's like I didn't [ __ ] I lived a. middle class life yeah I didn't work in. a coal mine. but he witnessed it it's a it's around. his world yeah but it wasn't his exact.

it wasn't his if I couldn't I couldn't. sing about it because I don't know where. a coal mine is in San Diego there. there's two of them. has one of the biggest oh yeah oh really. we're gonna be there when we play San. Diego I gotta visit it yeah you gotta go. we should go together in middle school. we you know we would go to dance and. they would always play white lines but. we had no idea what it was um what a lot. and you're like you know in 2013. yeah. you think it's like about the football. field.

well it's an older song but it's all. about doing cocaine. yeah you've never heard of it no. that's insane we're old. you forget I've listened I know what. Moonlight Sonata is that was thousands. do you think she knows what that is on. us yeah but I want to school for music. oh well you don't know white lines I'm a. little upset we didn't learn that in.

trumpet class. I bet there's a trumpet version by the. way right now you're learning white. lines to play on stage on tour. I gotta practice it's actually perfect. in school what do they play like at the. dance I can remember Rock Lobster too oh. I love it and then there was that thing. where like you know what you go down. like the whole right and who like I saw. the music video didn't do that in the.

music video we did that's the same thing. as like we had no internet back then so. how did the San Diego this Middle School. contact [ __ ] Chicago this is the. beauty of a before internet things got. her how did Sweet Caroline. that's not in the song. people say what. everyone sings that. but it's not in the song what yeah there. is nobody says. I know but people say it as if it's a.

part of the song but it's really not. that's the only way you would explain it. to somebody that doesn't know it right. you don't have a [ __ ] foreign. but everyone else would go Sweet. Caroline. [Laughter]. Sweet Caroline.

that's not in it either and everybody. else so good yeah that's what I'm trying. to say we we all add in our Jazz we. added in our Jazz so you know it was. like Marilyn Manson we went down and up. that was just a kinetic thing that we. all knew okay it's like Marilyn Manson. it's the rumor that got around with the. internet that he removed a rib and could. blow himself remember that yeah how did. that get around before the internet. right it's just the that was the magic. of word of mouth before Twitter before.

all the [ __ ] inundated us with. nonsense you would just hear something. wild and cool and it got urban legends. cultural urban legends I love Urban well. they're gone now I know another no it. doesn't exist there's no what's an urban. legend now seriously what's something. that you've heard recently no you. because you you could verify it. immediately YouTube internet yeah you. used to be able to tell big fish stories. oh man one one time. it doesn't exist yeah Charlie yeah well. one time one time one time there was a. guy who went to my high school yeah mark.

blowman Mark blowman Mark I've never. heard of that last name but Mark blowman. yeah he was incredible this guy he did. four backflips on a BMX bike off of a. mini ramp really yep oh my God landed it. perfectly and both tires popped at the. exact same time he stayed on stayed on. wow yeah he sells insurance right now in. Riverside. no he's not an accident oh okay no he's. got an ex-wife he's a two ex-wife yeah. it's been tough for Mark blowman yeah. you used to be able to tell used to be.

Big Fish Tales they'll never exist again. because someone will go Google mark. blowman. what is. with hello fresh you get farm fresh. pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal. recipes delivered right to your doorstep. skip trips to the grocery store and. count on hello for us to make home cook. cooking easy fun and affordable that's. why it's America's number one meal kid. it is America's number one meal kid I. hate going to the grocery store I'm not. good at it I don't know what to get with. hello fresh it gets delivered to my door. I don't even have to think about it and. guess what this may hellofresh is.

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friends or pound law pound 529 from your. cell that's Four f o r the people.com. friends or pound law pound five to nine. from yourself is a paid advertisement. what what what would they play at your. school if you went to a dance like in. middle school or whatever like um. Country Grammar. like the sweat to the balls that's why. it was all hip-hop it was yeah it was. hell yeah dude she's she's in the age. range where that became the standard you.

still had rock that existed right we had. no black people in my school well that. yeah. they're gonna play [ __ ] Earth Wind. and Fire. either I think that's on your school's. Wikipedia yeah yeah no black people. right on the Wikipedia it was like three. wow yeah yeah so it's like they're gonna. like you know cater the whole [ __ ]. dance for three guys okay. yeah. cause you're saying only black people. like rap no that's not what I'm saying. I'm just I'll.

get sounds weird. defend let me defend you're right but my. brother right you know my brother is a. rapper I I know you know that right yes. so I remember when I graduated that his. generation just started listening to. hip-hop and then they told me to go. abide you know Low End Theory go by you. know and that's how I learned you know. about it you know what was the what was. the first hip-hop song you heard that. made you as someone that didn't really. love rap go I think I could get into. this it was uh three feet high in Rising.

it's De La Soul De La Salle one so. because it was catchy right and and yet. I could understand also you know what. they were talking about and I just loved. it it just felt such good music so good. what was that for you Missy Elliott yeah. she was my. who's got the keys to let you. know yeah that's an Anne people song by. the way for those for the older. generation so that's what they did oh.

yeah hip hop hip hop that's what I mean. that was me too but I mean we had Rock. and Hip-Hop what I didn't like is when. we used rock at school dances from like. my dad's generation there would be like. corny [ __ ] that would sneak in there. because the teachers wanted to hear [ __ ]. oh why like what you know they want like. they would like Abba like [ __ ] like that. where you're like [ __ ] [ __ ] out of. shut up. Dancing Queen.

I imagine you didn't get a lot of dances. did you never went yeah yeah did you go. to prom and homecoming and everything. yeah wait you really never wanted I did. I went to homecoming I was gonna say we. should throw a dance for Bobby oh we. should that'll be fun right we should do. homecoming you you know what Comics.

should do a homecoming dance we should. I'm being real I would love to like an. old school one where people have to. dress like in the 80s well we do the. reunion at The Comedy Store and that's. kind of a thing you know what reunion or. the Christmas party the Christmas party. yeah reunion well that is like a reunion. it's like everyone comes back into town. and goes to the store I don't like those. parties you know why. because you're always a group of people. you don't want to be see you don't no. you don't either I've seen you do it no. no no no no no no I've seen you do it go. don't lie don't [ __ ] lives can you do. it my problem is that's not if I tell.

the truth you will get in a fight just. admit that you I know what you do I've. been watching you right I do the same. thing so that's it. okay there's a couple of people that. nobody wants to see I know there's you. you'll walk into the club right you'll. see four people together and you go. around yeah okay so admit that okay okay. but I still like to go no you don't no. yes I do yes I do I do go to all of them. you know I go I go I go so have you seen. me or him more I'm holding worked there.

a year and a half yeah she's all brand. new I'll go I've seen it Bobby more. though yeah yeah you've seen him more. only because he he's he stays longer. than I do yes you look at the crowd I. leave and you leave I pay my dues I say. hello I kiss the ring and I wish I could. name names but I can't it'll hurt people. sometimes you have to leave yeah you. have to leave sometimes you have to. leave because all is the worst are oh. God I feel so bad even saying it I'm not. gonna say it we can cut it out really. well Pizza the worst the worst is you. know and I'm a huge fan of Comedy.

Generations before me right and when. I know when the old Comics are in the. parking lot they stay by one little. location yeah yeah and they wait for. entrance it's like how do you get into. the building there they are you gotta go. through them right you have to go. through them that's like the troll at. the bridge that's like three five four. five you must answer questions three to. get through me yeah and comedy history. but here's what I don't like this is. what I don't like I don't like the. younger generation like your generation.

of doorman that don't know who they are. I always knew who they are well but they. couldn't that was 20 30 years to do. research no you think I know who Mort. Saul is well yeah yes you do know who. mortal is do you know who mortal is. these are those uh Legends you were. talking about earlier yeah no he wasn't. there I'm just saying it's like no but. more is a part of that I just kind of. knew you know what I mean who came. before me and you know I just don't see. a lot of that happening they don't give. a [ __ ] they're looking for now not the.

past right good for them [ __ ] them you. know what we gotta we need you know what. that is you don't know Kip oh wow yeah. yeah well you adapt or die basically and. how would we know someone we don't know. what's that how would we know someone. what he's saying is he on TV and stuff. when we were coming up you kind of had. to know those before you it was like a. part of the system but that's not how it. is now it doesn't [ __ ] matter even. when I was your age this is also what I. did I go what I would go what does Dave. Becky look like yeah I remember right or. managers and go say hi I would either go.

say hi or if I knew they were in the. room I would try to do a good set yeah. right so it's like I was just kind of. privy to who was in the business behind. the scenes who had power Pat buckles I'd. I know how what people look like yeah. you had yeah but your generation because. of the internet you don't have that. they're just tick-tocking their way. through town baby yeah it's interesting. and that's fine that's fine we're the. old bones dude we're the old bones in. the back of the fridge yeah yeah yeah. yeah I'm the new blood New Blood.

just the way you just said that you're. really bothered you've created a monster. honestly this is all your fault true I. know you did this like I'm supportive. but you really do you're feeding this. little beast it's a little tiny I I. cannot wait I cannot wait to see how. worse she gets on the tour she's already. had demands so far on the tour for. people that want to know what's really. been going on yeah she has she makes the. bus pull over because she needs smoke. breaks yeah and she smokes and I can. hear her mumbling on the side about. she's like [ __ ] Bobby a piece of [ __ ]. you're a stupid [ __ ] bad jokes oh.

Santino cool outfit you fat loser yeah. and she'll be saying this stuff while. she's smoking I hear her on the side I. want you every other hour we do a nature. walk why do we have to do that no why is. that I don't want to go on a long nature. walk on the side of the highway yeah. you're gonna do it you're gonna like it. it's really forcing your agenda man we. do we can't even do it like for real. yeah she's so nice you know she doesn't. have a dinner now you don't have a mean. bone in your body I don't think I would. love to just become a megalomaniac and. go crazy really I don't think you would.

feel guilty I think I think I'd feel too. guilty but it'd be kind of him and I can. do it I mean can we have do we go here. we are. now I think the meanest thing that we've. done so far on the tour is make. sometimes when bobby gets frustrated. with Carlos he'll make him run alongside. the bus and I don't think that's nice. yeah yeah but but I'm in good shape. right now I gotta tell you you're you've. lost some great weight on the tour and. you look really thin and tight thank you. and maybe perhaps that's working Bob I. think maybe that's a workout plan I.

think he wants me thin and like oh so. like you're trying to shape me into like. a sculpted young man or something like. you want me to look good you me what the. [ __ ] you talking about but you keep. trying to get me to run outside the bus. and sometimes because I don't want to be. around you uh that's so real can I just. say another thing all right what I don't. I don't know what you'll get upset try a. couple of girls told me that you smell. they did not say that is this seriously. are you being serious what happened wait. in what city did they say this wait a.

minute just in general oh you had you. have you got tipped off. they said it somebody got that is there. any validity to this I mean I I don't. think I smell Bobby what is this. you think if a piece of poo a piece of. poo goes oh I smell poo no he's used to. the smell. all right the [ __ ] uses a smell no. there's a conspiracy theory you're. trying to knock me down what you're. trying to plant this and I'm not buying. anything mine right now no this is a. plan this is very manipulative but man.

it's good I'm not even going to live let. me say something right when you look. when you look at the mirror do you think. you smell good just visually. you think visually you smell well good. no I think visually I smell bad exactly. because you do okay okay. um. I'm not being mean he showers daily it. doesn't matter it doesn't matter inside. oh yeah it's a core problem it's a core. problem.

because I needed a way to battle it all. right has a girl ever said something did. this ring true to you because he has a. girl ever said something that touched. close to this no that's why I was a. little confused at first yeah let me ask. you something if a woman's if you're. with a girl let me ask you right first. date and their breath smells weird do. you say anything if you're on a first. date with a guy and his breath smells. bad do you say something oh I would not. say anything but I it would bother me I.

mean I'm not on any dates with anybody. tell you in the day no no I would say. just in present day if I'm hanging out. with somebody yeah just a friend or a. homie or even like let's make it. comparable not a date but like a work. person I barely know that I'm trying. that we're doing business together so. that's a sensitive relationship and. their breath smell yeah I'd slide them a. couple of minutes you would but you. would have to eat some first like you. were gonna yeah you always go oh man you. want cements I just bought these right.

it could be Ruby just hey just eat this. why is that weird if you if somebody. went hey do you here have some mints I. would go oh my breath probably stinks I. don't know I don't know what's wrong. with telling people that their breath. smells humiliating it's humiliating. no actually no yours either no I've. never because I would tell but I would. tell you but him yes. you know what we're gonna buy now that. he's got this whole thing about you.

obviously that's what this is this is a. roundabout way of him saying he didn't. like the way your breath smells is that. true that's true that is this is what. he's trying to say I'm not in on this by. the way but we need to buy you. Fisherman's friends it's not bad. look up Fisherman's friends go ahead. these are the strongest breath mints on. Earth I had one in Vancouver Altoids are. [ __ ] compared to these the. fisherman's Friends by the way wait. Andrew you suggested I buy these at the. airport yeah so did you smell my feet. away Carlos yeah no do you know why. Carlos no yes. serious.

about it is. [ __ ] plan I don't know who to believe. this is not true. oh my God look at this face that's not. true I'm just letting it go I I smell it. like I'm letting it go no he actually. [ __ ] pulled it first of all this is. not true two things are happening at the. same time oh I did suggest fisherman. friends because you said what are these. I said you know what they're bomb ass.

breath mints and I said but those that. you bought were what lozenges exactly so. so you're right your theory is wrong. what he said it was no the thing that. you bought isn't going to help you. you need the full-on yeah you did dude. yeah yeah. he's trying to sabotage you know the. truth you know I'm real right Carlos. look at me you know I'm telling the. truth right why would he bring that up. no okay you know why I'll tell you why. let's move on from here not only from.

Canada no they're from they're in. Australia as well I had it when I was. down there but but let me say this. now that you have a gauge on people's. breath yeah does her breast smell yeah. oh it doesn't no never thank God yeah. but you're very you're very tooth uh. you're very tooth conscious I can see. you brush you've floss your teeth are. nice yeah I mean I have a list I have. literally a list of people that are. stinky mouths but stinky mouths yeah and. I could never say it out loud I know I. want you to say it right now we'll just. blank it all out because I want to hear. it no if you meet someone and their.

breath smells it should be okay to say. hey I think you might I think you might. need to grab a mint or gum yeah and why. can't there be something you say it's a. that you know what that is hey you have. something on your shirt you have. something on your face why is that it's. the same thing. why is it so bad I thought it was normal. no I don't think it is it's not it's a. big faux pas I think mouth is a thing. what's also the genitals so when. somebody has stinky genomics yeah you. can't say anything with that depends on. where you guys take a [ __ ] out. Twitter or that fisherman. I'm just gonna put this fisherman thing.

yeah you can't do that no you're good. yeah just put it here let me pop. by the way it depends on how far along. in the relationship that you are oh. that's true but it's your first in a. date you can't say it I gotta tell you. if I ever got single again I would okay. on a first date yeah dude you're at an. age now at a certain point there's no. games anymore you're like your breath. stinks and your dick stinks yeah if by. the way if my dick stunk I'd want to. know you'd want to know yeah I'd wanna I.

want someone to be like it kind you kind. of stink I'd be like [ __ ] okay let me. shower up let me clean up yeah let me. get fit for you within the shower you'll. be like [ __ ] man. can I tell you something yeah much like. much like your parent doing a thing to. you that that like embedded in your mind. you'd never have a stinky dick ever. again would you you'd think about it all. the time and you'd hold it. let me ask you this if you went on a. date with a girl you like her [ __ ] it's. like you connect she's funny hot. everything love her right two two or.

three dates and she's back at your place. you guys are making out and then she's. like wait a second and she takes her leg. off. like a complete leg her right or left. leg is this like Deuce Bigalow yeah just. Bigelow yeah was that in that movie yeah. yeah she takes a leg off yeah yeah. what would you do. you know I'm if I you know uh no it's. fine I mean it's just where are you. gonna put it where is it oh. yeah I wouldn't mind would you say.

anything though like no that's a loose. leg no you have to say something what. are you gonna say look you know on your. gender profile you had two legs. yeah you got new legs yeah I think that. wouldn't bother me okay okay an arm. would be a little bit alarming okay if. somebody you would know that in the date. though no you would not what if they. have a long sleeve shirt on okay you. have no idea yeah if you pop off an arm. I'd go oh ah that one would be a little. bit more hindering for some reason. what's worse.

eyeball eyeball eyeball for sure is. worse yeah if someone pops out of a. [ __ ] eyeball yeah yeah by the way. leg's not that bad by the way that opens. up some more room for you that's true. that's not a problem at all yeah but. like if you have one leg here right and. you're trying oh. seeds seeds DSO one daily symbiotic. supports healthy regularity healthy. motility and ease of evacuation I gotta. tell you everyone poops right Bob you. poop I poop almost everybody on the show.

poops except for Pete and that's okay. we've talked about it to him because he. needs seed all right and I gotta tell. you you want healthy movements you want. to promote Digestive Health uh for. healthy regularity in the ease of. bloating you want reinforced healthy. stool hydration and ease of evacuation. there's no good way to talk about this. but you want to be clean and feel. healthy and all the way pushed through. well ds01 daily symbiotic has that for. you seeds capsule in capsule via cap. safeguards viability through digestion. for delivery of an average of 100 of our.

probiotic starting dose to your colon I. gotta tell you I've been using some seed. and I feel good I'm not joking I drink. it in the morning I have my little. coffee and boy oh boy do I get movers. loves it it is really good uh CSI one. daily symbiotic has four specific. probiotic strains that have been shown. to promote healthy skin and reinforce a. healthy gut skin axis I want that I want. clean sparkly shiny skin when we're on. the road in front of our fans and I also. want my gut to feel good and be empty. and clean start a new healthy habit.

today visit seed.com bad friends and use. code bad friends to redeem 25 off your. first month of C is ds01 daily symbiotic. that's seed.com. and use that code bad friendsseed.com. bad friends code is bad friends. if you could if you had to lose a limb. what are you losing what do you mean. well if the universe was like you're. gonna have to lose a limb right now to. stay alive we're gonna take one from you. what are considered limbs. you have four can I tell you you're a.

limb no why because it's an ear because. it sticks out it's an ear I know what's. the definition of a limb on the human. body but it's just arms and legs let me. just to see the definition real quick. The Only Exception is a bat's Wing an. arm Bird's Wing oh arm and leg a. personal or a four-legged animal so it's. your arms and your legs those are your. limbs or a wing well you don't have. wings buddy okay. that's true sometimes I feel my tailbone. in the shower and I wish we still had a. tail that'd be cool I think about how.

fun that would be yeah I wouldn't you. don't want a tail it's too telling. of what like if you're happy but what if. you are trying to play cool oh because. your tail will go up with emotion it'll. be lagging and you feel like it's really. small I'm not that excited right now. because when you see a cat like my cat. Bojo will stick his tail up and it'll. start shaking that's him saying hello. he's stoked he's stoked he can't wait to. see you yeah yeah and then when it Puffs. out they're like defensive and shocked. and like ready to fight that's true it's. too much of a tell but you could you. control your tail maybe humans could.

adapt and control it what I would love. is you know a kangaroos they can lean on. it they bounce on it whoa you ever seen. this they use it as Force kangaroos when. they go to kick can lean on the weight. of their tail and kick with their legs. That's How Strong their [ __ ] tail is. it's a muscle interesting wouldn't that. be nice yeah if you wanted to sit back. and have a snack somewhere yeah sorry. man there's no seats left I'm I'm good. yeah you lean back on your tail my. friend told me kangaroos have five. vaginas six six no I have no idea.

I've never heard that before in my life. you know there's three vaginas isn't. that crazy do you know kangaroos have. three vagina what Bobby's going to. Australia one for babies one for sex and. one for pooping I think that's like. humans isn't it no no no I only have one. interesting the common connection for. three vaginas they have side vaginas. sperm travels up these oh so they're not. openings they're just that you get hit. you can't hit it from the side. and you don't know let me tell you if. she takes one of those legs off before. you hook up okay middle vagina the Joey.

travels down so the baby travels down. the middle one the side vaginas are. sperm that seems pretty logical. is there pleasure. for kangaroos any animal they love it. dolphins have sex for fun yeah okay so. there's pleasure. Summit that's cool I mean the one I. learned about that'll blow your mind is. um the female duck. and what is it not only do animals enjoy. the deed they also have orgasms some of. them difficult to measure directly but. watching facial expressions body. movement muscle relaxation scientists. concluded animals it can reach pleasure.

I'll tell you one that blows your mind a. duck vagina look up a duck vagina this. is one of the most like complex things. on planet Earth look at this it's a. corkscrew right okay and the reason that. they have it like this is to thwart off. unwanted suitors so a duck has an. internal defense mechanism against other. Ducks dicks that are trying to get in. there trying to get it so it's a. corkscrew so they can unwind the screw. for someone that they want in there let. me ask you something does it kick the. penis out of the vagina well the duck. penis has to adapt to it look at that. you can see zoom in right it is also.

corkscrewy. so it's like a key if it doesn't fit in. the key slot I still come. just as long as I come I'm fine right I. mean it's it's impressive it's. impressive so that's the yeah right. that's a duck penis right there whoa. whoa It's a corkscrew whoa you can open. wine with it as well I feel like Tony. Hinchcliffe has a penis like that for. some reason. yeah oh that's interesting a little. Corkscrew my friend anyway uh let's not.

talk about animal vaginas anymore all. right all right how did we get from. wherever oh with the leg my left leg. you're gonna remove your left leg yes. I'll go to the left leg so why left. that's interesting because that's my. weakest leg right my right leg is a. stronger one yeah I need both arms to. play video games and to do drive and. other things but imagine you're look I'm. not taking a shot at you okay you're not. that good at video games you're good but. you're not that good okay but if you had. no arms and you play with your feet you. could be you know what I mean like the.

Special Olympics yeah all right wow so. that's the thing to think okay you. haven't thought about what would you. lose well I'm thinking arm only because. we might have the technology to make a. really cool bionic no you're not allowed. to do that. you can't do these asterisks and what. would you rather you can't do the. million dollar man thing yeah yeah I. want to shoot lasers you can you can. kiddo and we're gonna get you some. lasers but you got you can't you can't. do it with the hope that it's gonna get. fixed this is a permanent fixture you. lose it it's gone I still think arm.

because a fake leg I could hobble up on. stage but I could still use my arms and. stand it. uh. I guess oh wait no then it would be leg. you'd be leg Yeah because you need you. need your uh yeah yeah and I'd be really. good at [ __ ] yeah yeah I mean you can. fake perform with a fake leg. wear jeans what's wrong with the fake. arm though people many people have fake. arms on stage and you don't because you. know how would you know what do you mean. they make arms that look look up a good.

news you could tell it's shiny you can't. tell these days dude they're so good. look at that look at that look let me. look that's incredible a prosthetic arm. yeah. this guy brings up a severance from. Halloween yeah yeah no good prosthetic. arm yeah good yeah because they're all. like. mechanical looking they're not human. looking that's what I would like a human. one or a mechanic a mechanic yeah that's. what I'm saying but you know what you. could get is a Power Glove okay the. seconds are really good the bodyguards.

with the fake arms yeah the bodyguards. the fake arms do you know about this. yeah I know that dude that looks fake. dude no it doesn't yeah who does that. just all day long bodyguards okay that. looks real to me. see she doesn't know she never knew. about this juicy doesn't know about the. fake arm bodyguard because he has a gun. pointed right here whoa. isn't that so that's awesome and he's. gonna kill Melania in that photo but. they took it right before they stopped. him right yeah thank God isn't that. crazy that that's what that's what that.

is he's got a gun pointed out at any. moment that's like the thing where you. you do those shirts that's right why. can't you just have them out I mean I. think oh that guy has a sniper that guy. it's Optics they don't want people to. get freaked out by this isn't Russia you. can just March around with [ __ ] guns. at public events people but no one would. attempt it if you had guns out a bazooka. imagine that you're walking down. the president's here. sure we're going to shoot guns in Texas. hell yeah I won't do it you are you have.

to why do I know they asked for you. specifically are you being real yes they. want there then okay good. specifically the best [ __ ] best trick. invented gunpowder. that's all I know. because if they had the inclination. and they just went further like the. white people did because what the white. people do is take the [ __ ] gunpowder. go no we can make these weapons of war. this and that the Chinese didn't do it. okay what do you mean okay what don't.

blame the whites. don't blame the whites who created guns. who who was the first gun fabricated off. I guarantee you it was China. the first Firearms can be traced back to. 10th Century China Chinese the first. invent gunpowder historian typically. credit the first guns As Weapons of the. Chinese okay cut it out don't [ __ ]. put that on us that's true yeah you. [ __ ] [ __ ]. how come they let people take over I. don't think White's invented any weapons. if you want to be honest Chinese with.

guns Native Americans with bow and. arrows and Spears uh uh Bazookas uh were. Filipinos believe it or not. [Laughter]. [Music]. you know we invented torture they have. like torture mechanisms were probably. the whites that's Western European chaos. who by the way I stand corrected who. invented who invented the Canon. because that's maybe the coolest [ __ ]. weapon that's a pretty good one they. were like could we throw a bowling ball. out of this. the cannon was invented.

Chinese dude oh the Turks the Canon. through the Chinese eventually started. using gunpower weapon in 10th Century. it's the Turks who get the credit for. Farmland gunpowder to high enough. quality be used effectively in combat. the cannon appeared in Europe beginning. in 1200 so it was wow the Turks God. bless the Turks dude. put a bowling ball on that thing shoot. it at a boat. yeah imagine the moment they were. shooting guns at boats right they were. shooting and it wasn't doing [ __ ] it. wasn't doing anything in the boat yeah. so some guy was like What if we have a. big bullet. that was just some guys like a bowling.

ball oh I was thinking uh ping pong no I. wanted like a bowling ball no holes yeah. and then you would have to light it. right a wick yep oh yeah you know it's. like a weapon huh the catapult. sick who's the first [ __ ] go shoot me. out of it you know no you know what it. was because they did it right Evil. Knievel whatever those guys no you know. how that originally started one guy in. the group that they hated they were like. will you sit on this thing.

no not the Catapult no they didn't they. put don't human beings go in cannons. yeah Evil Knievel that's what I'm saying. it's like who why because it looks. awesome yeah I mean it looks like he I. mean it looks awesome but imagine being. in the tube. freaking out freaking the [ __ ] out I. mean I think it's so rare that Evil. Knievel had the balls to just do that. yeah get shot out of a cannon yeah I. mean that guy why come we don't have. Daredevils anymore. I know but Daredevil but those guys.

aren't going off the side of of the. Niagara Falls in a barrel yeah but. they're throwing those in front of. crocodiles and stuff that's yeah it's. like I don't know I want more like. old-timey stuff where you like jump off. a train you know. right you know like the bat it blows up. when Dynamite you jump off a tree yeah. no one does Evil Knievel nobody on a. motocross bike jumps you know 50 cars or. whatever like he used to like in the old. west when they hide they tied the lady. to the train tracks yeah imagine that. death yeah. oh my God the fear imagine okay here you.

are in the Old West. juicy is tied to the train tracks help. help it says on the screen because you. can't say that because it's a it's not a. talkie you know help help where am I. where am I the wild west you're never I. never wear you're looking right now. you're right next to me you're 100 yards. a football field away do I have my um. switch you got your switch all right so. I'm playing games you're playing games. and a steam engine. you gotta have a bubble because Boba.

makes me tired yeah the steam engine is. rolling right and juicy help help and. look there she is. yeah but I have my earphones on oh you. can't hear it okay and the train just. that's it yeah you'd let her you let her. go. no you know I would help. for like 10 seconds but then once I. realized I can't do it I would run you. don't know how to untie a knot I know. yeah you know what I would say though. I'm sorry that's nice when you say that.

I'm sorry I'm sorry farewell like be. very nice about it there was a guy in my. college in college there was a guy in my. town in Tempe who had a a cow Pusher on. the front of his car and I thought that. was one of the funniest things you know. on steam engine they have those the. slope thing on the front of a train. that's a cow it's a cow mover or a cow. Pusher on a train but he had one on his. [ __ ] SUV that thing cow catcher wow. because cows are just wander on the. tracks I thought that thing is for they. just move cows out of the way that does. that thing on the front of its [ __ ]. steam engine that's what that's for to.

just get cows off the train tracks it. would kill them no no it doesn't it like. shoves them aside oh wow the trains used. to run over them all the time so they. had to invent this thing because the. [ __ ] would wander around so they. would but a guy in my neighborhood had. like his makeshift version on his SUV. crazy. and now that I think about it that guy. was something was wrong yeah yeah I. thought it was great in college. so sick but he had one on his [ __ ]. Ford Explorer it was kind of cool I. don't know why I mean he you know he had.

mental health issues yeah I've never. even been next to a cow. you've never been next to a cow I've. driven down the freeway like you know. when you're going up to like San. Francisco whatever and you see a couple. of cows and you go look cow we need to. milk a cow on the tour I will not touch. one why I'm not good you don't even know. I don't even jerk off good. yeah is it the same style it's down. instead of out oh I see have you milked. a cow I think in school I did a long. time ago what I remember doing something. it was elementary school yeah yeah yeah.

we did like a farm field trip and you. had to milk a cow yeah it's weird. feeling. but you gotta do it I like it dude I. think it's rad I saw a pig got. slaughtered once okay oh my gosh Jesus. live yeah it was terrible did you eat it. yeah I'm so hungry so hungry you know. I'm not even like it's not even a joke I. know I was semencia back in the day. Carlos Mencia took me to Honduras and. one more he goes hey bro we're gonna. slow the pig now I'm sleeping no thank. you you're gonna do it do this.

experience they tie this thing from. Beyond you know I mean and then they the. neck and it's doing this thing and I. just went back to sleep but that didn't. make you stop eating pig I ate it like. an hour later. yeah. yeah it was very delicious but I've. thought about seeing animals and being. like man I shouldn't eat meat me too but. it's hard it's so hard not to you think. we can try to do it at some point. together as a team going vegan just veg. vegan's tough fish we'll do fish that's. pescatarian okay yeah that's out no we.

can do that we can do fish yeah that. that would be veg not vegan you can't do. vegan because I want I want cheese and. [ __ ] would do cheese eggs yeah yeah and. fish is a pescatarian yeah and steak at. least once. yeah and then maybe a couple times. chicken if we're hungry for it yeah and. turkey is fine probably right and this. sandwich form right and ham sometimes in. certainly why don't we just amputate. certain parts and keep the chicken alive. like uh think about it organ donor no. just a leg we take a leg off right we.

eat that but they're still alive. I guess that's probably yeah like you. can take all the limbs off and we put. them a little like little like a. roly-poly thing you know with wheels and. stuff and do you think they can live. beyond that now or no what do you mean. aren't you that's just they're gonna die. then no they're not how do they get any. resources we've eaten so they have to. just sit there and get fat yeah they're. like that's not more inhumane to just. stop no they're like um Stephen hawkingy. kind of oh chickens so chicken and. wheelchairs that's what we've named the.

farm Stephen Hawkins Farm Stephen King. and all the animals just have limbs. missing okay right and we're not killing. them right give them great lives we give. them massages. why do they need to get massage because. they're so depressed we took their legs. all right well you know what we should. do what kill them what are we doing just. kill him they can still have a happy. life if you fed them you put a [ __ ]. iPad in front of them show them [ __ ]. give me something like. what something I just in my mind imagine. like giving a chicken an iPhone and it.

has a tick tock account in like a week. and it's getting more streams than we. are for some reason just an idea guys. sorry no no I like it let's not kill it. let's just amputate it yeah but let me. ask you this if you take one leg who's. eating the leg I am I'm starving okay so. he gets a leg right yeah one chicken. there's other chickens Millions there's. millions of chickens we looked this up. one time in the show how many chickens. are on there millions of chickens man. there's way too many. this is why I don't feel bad. 33 billion.

wow are there supposed to be that many. or are we just breeding them to eat then. I don't know but I gotta tell you that's. the most populous bird in the world. conditions they live in is terrible I. mean we gotta [ __ ] do something man. well what should we look at that it's. that's [ __ ] Auschwitz for animals oh. I can't eat chicken I'm terrible. I mean think about it it's [ __ ]. terrible man yeah but they might like it. no they don't they don't like it they. don't like it I promise you they don't. like it how if you talk to a chicken I. have huh okay. [Laughter].

it is bad it's so bad okay let's move to. something that's more a little bit more. happy Ben Affleck speaking Spanish. sounds great I gotta tell you maybe. that's gonna turn me bright on would you. learn a language for a girl. no ladies no never I just wouldn't be. able to do it I can barely speak English. you know I can't even pronounce certain. words would you learn a different. language for a guy if a guy was like. let's say you met you met like an El. Salvadorian kid or something. and I fell in love well I don't [ __ ].

know how deep you are in this thing it's. just getting started yeah if I fell in. love with somebody I would learn their. language yeah but I'm just saying not. love you like them this is going on for. a couple months now and he's like. I enjoy time with you but wait wait wait. does he have Down syndrome. I said it was El Salvador oh yeah. I love my time with you. will you will learn my language maybe. while I learn English will you learn my.

language I'm gonna stop you right there. I can't understand anything you're. saying okay you know what I'm gonna do. what I'm gonna learn your language. she's willing to give yeah she's willing. what about you you met you're right. you're not married yeah right you met a. a beautiful woman no gorgeous huh. connected yeah right but she's from a. you know a tribe in Africa foreign.

trying to fall for somebody yeah depends. on the language oh I see if it's a hot. you know French girl yeah yeah that's a. sexy language sexy language yeah if it's. German. probably not yeah I'm probably gonna. stick to English because of all the. atrocities and crimes that they had. towards Humanity Vietnamese. no but I think if it depends on the. language I think that's my point it. depends on the language yeah that's true.

you know like Portuguese Portuguese. beautiful I wish I could learn let's. learn that yeah I do that it just. depends you know like Canadian I try if. I fell in love with I could learn their. language yeah it's French or English. Canadians yeah that's like a whole. different language up there we're just. there dude. you communicated with those people. yeah I couldn't understand a word that. they were saying. yeah. not a thing yeah yeah I want to share. you a text message that I got.

this is little humble brag but this made. me feel good okay it was nice to get. this hey you probably don't remember. this but one time I was working with you. and I was poor as [ __ ] at the time I was. wearing beat up shoes and you looked at. me and you said player needs a new pair. of shoes. and a couple of days later you came back. and gave me a few pairs of Circa skate. shoes just wanted to say congrats on. your success times are much better for. me now I want to say thank you so much. stoked to see you're doing well. and then he sent a link to his band that.

he plays in but I thought that I was. like oh man that makes it gonna make me. cry about but he remembered it and I was. like and it I didn't I didn't remember. it yeah but it wasn't because that's the. thing I'm saying is like it's not for. you to remember it's you did the cool. thing they'll remember it yeah I. remember Annie what she may not remember. me [ __ ] that no eat know who I am. yeah but she was nice for no reason. and was like those guys suck yeah you're. cool man don't [ __ ] could I one last. one then yeah Jimmy Schubert yeah I. moved here from LA and my I I have no.

place to live because a guy lied to me. so for two weeks I slept in my [ __ ]. um I had a truck with no window in it. and they let me park in the parking lot. at The Comedy Store yeah and we sleep in. the front and then one day I get a knock. on the win the side that has the window. because the other side anyway with Jimmy. Schubert. and I go hey what's up and he goes you. hungry. there you go yeah he goes let me buy you. some breakfast. and I will always remember that yeah.

those little gestures of like. of love and somebody being nice to you. and kind to you and then I remember. years later I was doing New Year's and I. go no Jimmy has to do New Years with me. because I was kind of a name back you. know I was mad tv and stuff like that. and me and Jimmy headline we split the. money and then I got him a nice hotel. room not at the condo but uh Colonial. yeah and I set it up for him he was with. a girl and it was a fun weekend but um. you never forget things like that so. what we're saying is now that you're on.

the rise. you're becoming a saint I know where. this is going yeah you better start. doing nice [ __ ] for us yeah for you guys. yeah yeah this is what I'm gonna do what. I want you guys to have my bad friends. money. you got it you got it all right I'm. gonna go to the store tonight and get it. okay together for us. all right hey yeah that's enough of that. thank you thank you for being a bad. friend. [Music].

foreign.