Back To The Old School UNCENSORED | Ep 229 | Bad Friends

hey everybody you guys you know I was. very highly influenced by never mind. Nirvana's album the very first no second. album um uh bleach was the first one. right but anyway um I was very highly. influenced by this and they I love the. album cover and now you can get one with. my little baby body in it and you don't. have to have the shirt if you don't want. it you can get it as a poster that's. just as cool too go to badri merch.com. badri merch.com I'm on tour in the fall. gearing up to shoot my hour I'm going to. be in Frank California Indianapolis. Charlotte uh Walky Omaha City Cleveland.

St Louis Grand Rapids Detroit New. Orleans San Antonio Chicago Durham. Atlanta Charleston Philly New York. Phoenix San Francisco San Diego Boston. and Minneapolis uh go to Andrew Santino. dcom for those tickets Andrew Santino. decom you two are bad friends who are. these two idiots a white dude and an. Asian dude you two are. disgusting you two or something we're. bad friends Yip yapping away Yip yapping. away in all day Yip yapping away yay yes.

I am wait or no I'm not no you are no. Mone yes you are you are all right let's. start the show and then um I just and. then did you know that Delaney has a. prison tattoo on her finger what Delaney. you went to prison she has a prison. tattoo on her finger let me see um what. does it say no it's just it's a stick. and poke a stick and poke yeah that's. what Bobby calls his sex life stick and. poke.

cuz every girl ow ow. ow it's not sticking Asian have a shop. of. penis let's not go into negative let's. go into positive did something happen. though I can't yeah no nothing well I. have to go to Winnipeg I'm bummed about. that morning for Tom's thing one show at. Tom yeah Winnipeg do you know where that. is on a map it's probably I'm not making. fun of you cuz I don't know I assume. Winnipeg is um.

more East Canada I think it's middle. maybe middle I have no idea yeah I. genuinely don't Edmonton is Edmonton's. more left it's it's a Alberta's where. let's zoom out Carlos that's pretty. Central kind of oh that is dead center. dead center wow it's right above. Minnesota when oh my God I'm dreading I. got I got to fly all that way how long. is it you think four and a half four oh. okay cuz you got to go nor you got to go. up and over you know yeah it's also like.

the um 3:30 not the the I hate the. border crossing thing yeah you got to. give paperwork right and one time I was. doing a movie and it was years ago and I. had to wait there for hours in like a. little lab room in the Canadian border. insecurity sec I can't even speak to it. I'm so tired security room not a lab. room why am I say it let me tell you. something by the way congratulations. I've been watching the worst roommate. show like I said wow wow are you being.

real yeah the second season I'm I'm I'm. cruising through it I love it so much. but the amount of. murder too much the woman that filmed. her own that recorded her own. death wow wow wow was these outy she. turned on a recorder and she's like what. are you going to beat the [ __ ] out of me. and he. did she asked him and he did and then. you they have it on tape yeah it's. that's crazy yeah I didn't see the first. season oh really I only saw the second. season oh my God it's so good I was.

going to go back to the first season I. do that with movies too do you have. roommates Delaney yeah I do how many um. five Jesus Jesus Christ you have your. own room wait a minute do you live at. home are you talking about your parents. no wait you have your own room I have. yeah cuz we have a house starting junior. year you move off campus. ooh. fancy I moved off campus wait a minute. how old are you 21 you're a senior now. yeah I get my own Electric slot so I can.

plug in my. iPhone. oo you know and my roommate Samuel she. gets the second one underneath it with. her iPod. o Delany five people yeah how much is. rent with five sneak in there these guys. don't need attention yeah um it's like. 2,000 for you mhm you pay $2,000 to live. with four other people where where are. you living with a palis are you living.

in Beverly Hills no New. Orleans wait a minute you don't live in. LA only like my parents are here you're. nor from Orange County no I'm from the. palates um what are you getting so angry. for man I don't know I don't know time. out. $2,000 per person so it's a $10,000 a. month house you're renting these like. you can get a nice place for that in New. Orleans is that right though so it's 10. grand a month in New Orleans so all of. you are paying $2,000.

yeah probably you don't even know what. everybody pays well because I'm not. asking like my other roommates you don't. ask each other that's not a point of. some of them I don't know that well oh. so you live in a home with people you. might not know yeah you're perfect for. this TV show yeah you're too I don't. think so she's too fancy for me tell. she's going to end up in the news 100%. remember remember that girl Delaney we. used to work with a couple years ago. dude yeah the weird found her foot in. Florida they found her head in New. Orleans yeah they found her ankle in in. Tucson Tucson Arizona.

yeah yeah they and they still haven't. found her butthole no what do they do. yeah I think they shot it into space. that's a cool killer though no just hear. me out I know I'm just saying right a. killer with a necklace with all these. little Rings don't you think little. butthole Rings yeah yeah yeah but. they're Dy you know what I mean what is. that this is that puka shells no man you. know um you uh uh Fruit Loops oh that's. cute yeah you take Froot Loops you put. them in the water then you let it dry in. the sun right and then it just has this. like a rubbery like.

anal you know be feeling it's like a. rubbery anal kind of smells necklace you. like calamari I love it this is calamari. oh nice yeah yeah what is this an ear. necklace yeah from from Vietnam American. soldier in South Vietnam possesses the. the zoom in the stripped bodies of dead. vehic oh my God so he would kill them. and then put them on a necklace bro. that's. hardcore cool as hell that's cool as. hell Carlos dude imagine imagine dude. imagine I was in the war imagine I was.

in the war right and you know I'm. looking at you I go hey man nice. necklace thanks. look oh this no no the [ __ ] you no no. these are wait a minute [ __ ] you no dude. imagine what if they didn't kill him. right they just took his ears you had. two what if you got both of your ears. you come up to me and you're like. hey you have something in mind wa I. don't really understand can you. pronounce you have something of mine you.

have something of oh what is it I owe. you. money oh my bad that you oh. hello that's hilarious that's insane. that's insane cut off someone's ear and. then wear it is crazy that's crazy but. also Vietnam craziest War craziest war. in the world dude I mean look so many of.

them you know what I mean apparently was. a trend those are the biggest ears I've. ever seen either it's like me I've he. yeah I have little ears you know the. Vietnam War though yeah hoi man what a. guy what a trail he makes Trails so deep. and you know those but did you know that. hoochi man it's a little fun fact give. me before he was that's not a fun fact. it's just a fact pretty fun to me um. before he was um you know the guy right. he went all like he was like a a baker. in France for a year I'm not kid no way.

then he went to New York and then was. like he worked on films like went to a. film company worked on film was like an. artist no he just a world traveler just. going around the world probably [ __ ]. white chicks and stuff right yeah D and. he has to do the can I say that or no. okay and he probably has to do this. because you he's small tiny man and. those are her shoulders right and the L. like that you know so anyway um poim was. like a. world-renowned you know you know uh a. worldly man a cultural worldly man and.

he found saw what was going on in his. country and he came back he was like. that's it that's it that's it I love. making cant you what I mean I love this. film we're doing about you know this. film but of Life film like the. photographer what would have been if he. actually became a director instead of. going back home oh my God like imagine. if he made really good film I'm trying. to go see long legs tonight oh it's. going to be it's you like that everyone. says it's phenomenal do you see it and.

scary right I have my a different. opinion creepy I have a different. opinion all right you don't like it. creepy what it is creepy it's very. creepy the tone of the movie is very. creepy um it I mean at through the whole. movie you know it gave me hereditary. Vibes in terms of like they said got the. tone right but then there are times. where I'm like that doesn't make any. sense or what is that what's going on. what is going on with the little orb you. know I mean the doll orb you know what. I'm talking about yeah yeah yeah I don't.

cuz I'm going to go see it tonight yeah. but if I say doll orb you're not going. to know what that is oh I see it in my. head well you know what doll orbs are. well I'm just obsessed right now with. the afterlife because I watched this guy. on Tik Tok I don't even know if I sent. it to you there's a guy on Tik to who. goes to graveyards he cleans the grave. and as he cleans them he has one of. those machines that picks up. electromagnetic Vibes and then it says. words to the voice box and I'm not when. I dude okay he'll go he'll go he'll. it'll go it'll go thank you and he's.

like am I'm cleaning your grave Charlie. uh how did you die and it'll go. stab there's no way dud it does it let. the spirit there play it play it for. him my name's Barry sorry little one it. was hard for me to hear you.

away stop if I heard that I would just. go to the car I. know wow dude you think those are like. demons and stuff there's got to be I. mean look people that haven't passed. over right isn't that the theory yeah. stop I already know what it is there's a.

little person behind that grave store. going I mean how do you know that it's. the grave thing I don't understand. there's a machine that does it so. there's a box there's a Spirit Box and. Spirits can electromagnetically. communicate through the box and it's. it's filled with like thousands and. thousands of words and it. electromagnetically picks the word and. it comes out so it'll be like death oh I. see striking I see what say Mom right. right Bob yeah Le yeah that's it we. should buy one a GH box and it records.

but what if there's some words in there. that I'm a spirit and I want to say it. and it's not in the [ __ ] box it gets. as close as it can like which ones are. you trying to say. Megatron would that be in it I I bet you. know what I mean Voldemort it's loaded. Voldemort for sure is in the spirit I. don't think Voldemort's in the spirit. anal beads that's in there oh you know. anal beads have to be in there yeah yeah. ball and chain oh but can I put said you. when you BDSM BDSM yeah when you put. that against a gravestone yeah he just.

does a thing and then as he walks. through let's get one let's go to. Hollywood Cemetery done and let's. experiment with the stuff man absolutely. we can go to like humphy Bor is it who's. buried over there humphy Bor is it. Monroe is it Marilyn Monroe we got to go. to Marilyn monro's thing at Forest Lawn. we go they're all there right like May. West all these people are there uh uh um. Paul Newman right there's all those oh I. love your pizzas Paul he'll say thank. you will they do that yeah oh wow Paul. you make the best pizza sauce yeah thank.

you wow have you seen my work. no but I love your pasta sauce I can't. name a movie. yeah but um wow and I have to say out of. all the Hollywood male stars back from. back in the day he's probably the best. looking Humphrey bargard or oh Paul. Newman yeah not even close bro he killed. it back then he was so handsome dude so. handsome dude if I look like that now oh. I wouldn't even be here right dude but. there's two kinds of Hollywood guys.

there's a Paul Newman or there's aeve. mqueen Steve McQueen yeah so so Steve. McQueen is our. generation's probably like either. Charlie hunam. or or or uh what's his name Tom Hardy. yeah yeah and Paul Newman is like Austin. Butler oh I was gonna say Gosling. Gosling I think Austin Butler I Austin. no you're right you're right but but I. think goling is hotter but Gosling's so. hot He's the hottest guy in Hollywood. like that guy you like Ry Goos not.

really. what give me a star that you like uh. Jake Jen Hall is my favorite yeah he's. bab he's a mega babe and he's jacked. he's jacked I saw him one night at a bar. on Fairfax and I didn't realize how big. he is yeah not St tall he's [ __ ] huge. his arms were massive yeah jellly you. know he has joke with. me because I had met him one time I. swear to God so my you know my friend. Jean yeah they're best friends right and.

so um Jean. goes you can come to the dinner I I can. come cuz finally I can come where was it. Damien right so I come to the dinner and. you when you're at a dinner like that. everyone's like either a showrunner or. like a huge person yeah so I'm like I'm. there like you have to read the. pockets uh-huh you know what I mean. nowhere to slip in exactly nowhere to. slip in yeah exact right and I didn't.

slip in anywhere I found no pockets you. you no I was just eating I was. go you know what I mean like that kind. of thing no words to Jil I don't think. so he was so funny and then I got so. nervous I was like okay I'll see you. guys later I left right who is this. who's this girl she posted a pictures of. the day she wanted to wear for her trip. to AIT this let me get this right this. young lady yeah went to aitz MH and and. she did like a get ready with me yeah.

yeah I mean I'd like to see what she. wore that's what she wore it looks great. yeah so people on the internet are mad. because she said get ready with me to go. to awit is she Jewish um P Push pause. for a second she UNL Jewish but the. spirits at ashwoods probably look at her. like look at that fat. [ __ ]. yeah you I mean was that a. pig oink win you know what I mean the. spirits didn't like her H didn't like.

her yeah no they I bet you they did. she's very pretty what she's a Bachelor. contestant and a. redond yeah I mean if like I imagine the. spir the spirits see that they're like. oh hot what if you had the little. machine they would probably say. hot yeah it's like it's not good not. today hot hot if they have that little I. can't hot if it's not even good you.

sometimes you don't have to swing MH you. I mean sometimes they let the ball pass. what the [ __ ] they let the ball pass all. right let the ball pass a couple times. you I mean don't go hot hot you know. what I mean that's what you. did let's try it again let's try it. again dude so this. girl this. girl she did a get ready with me to go. to awit and this is her outfit she wore. yeah it's just a black dress and. sneakers now is that disrespectful what. is the appr thing to wear.

totz I got to say it's probably that but. probably not well we have a resident. Jewish kid here Nick what's the. appropriate thing to wear to aitz. something understated. understated solemn something drab and. quiet not loud imagine doing get ready. with me to only go to tragic sites right. get ready with me to go to Hiroshima. yeah get ready with. me get ready with me to go to Chernobyl. today we're going to be visiting one of. the most tragic weird [ __ ] up sites. you ever seen yeah get ready with me now.

I'm doing a blush that's very like blow. you away blush get ready with me to go. to Ed gan's house we're in Wisconsin all. right we're at The Farmhouse okay and. this is the lamp so this lamp this lamp. is made out of human skin all right and. I know I'm wearing Gucci right now and. you know oh my God and this kind of. looks like skin I mean that's I think. what Prada was trying to say so that's. why we're here yeah get ready with me to. go to Epstein's. Island what's up I'm here it's desolate.

and quiet yeah seems like all the kids. are. asleep I mean how could it is funny look. I'm sure she didn't do it. disrespectfully she just planned to go. to awit for the day which millions of. people do and she was like here's what I. wear isn't this what she does on the. internet she shows people her day yeah. she posted this as a part of her. schedule awit in the am well yeah you. got to go in the morning you can't go to. outtz at night that's [ __ ] bro if you. had a daughter and that's what she was a. social media person and you're in the. house and you're carving wood I don't. know what men.

do I'm just making a canoe yeah you're. making a canoe right right and she she's. constant get ready with me get ready. with me and let me oh my God oh my God. look at this look at this would you snap. no no cuz she's probably I'm like shut. up I bet she's making a good living you. would have snaap Nick yeah I would go. crazy that's the funniest part the best. packing hack for going to awit no make. sure you pack food there is not a snack. bar yeah wow visiting tragic locations.

and doing a get ready with me for them. is very funny to me rocket money hey do. you find any subscriptions Andrew you. forgot about or anything you paid twice. for and didn't realize it yeah the. amount of subscriptions I'm subscribed. to right now is embarrassing and thanks. to Rocket money they took care of that. for me most Americans think they're. spending around $62 a month on. subscriptions uh that's not true the. real number is closer to. $300 a month on subscriptions it's too. much money wasted they find so many. subscriptions that you forget about.

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years I talked about this IBM commercial. not IBM Pepsi commercial yeah and how he. goes here the light you know what I mean. M stand in the light put your face in. the. light and you told it on Rogan I said on. the biggest podcast platform yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah I don't really want. anybody to know this story I'll go on. Rogan and tell it yeah yeah millions and. millions of people Sunday I'm at The. Comedy Store I have his name on the list. I'm up at like 8:45. it's good spot very good spot yeah and.

ask anyone that's working there I've. told this these guys this um he's not. there I'm literally getting brought up. and he's not there I'm like you know how. you. go he ain't coming to come here right MH. and as as I'm getting called up somebody. at the lot goes the ba Michael Ba's here. like it's a whole thing like sirens go. off the Bay has ascended right so they. obviously let him park there. yeah yeah yeah and so I just yell I go.

just do you know I mean the back bring. them in the back set them right and then. I I'm literally walking the stage while. I'm on stage he's walking in with his. Entourage so cool yeah and you know. you're mind you're it's it's so it was. like 80 people you know how sometimes. main room no o okay you the O sometimes. light on a Sunday yeah sometimes yeah. yeah but you know I you still did good I. you did good I I surviv good thank you. Daddy I love you okay kiddos and then.

what happened I know I just love you so. I no I I and and as I'm walking off. stage he gets up to meet me in the back. so then we get in the hallway and he. goes hey man I go yeah you know I mean I. don't even know what I'm saying but you. know we work I go yeah we work you I. mean then Pepsi yeah oh yeah and I go. let's go in the back and talk about. it right you drag him to to take drag. them to SOS Higher Ground you get to be.

on the that's your territory thank you. vulnerable in the hallway in the back in. the back this is my you regain power. It's My Den yeah that's your Den yeah so. you sit the Bay down you so have funny. nick okay I sit the Bay down and now I'm. like how do I you know what I mean I got. to figure mhm so immediately like like a. coward I go well you know some in. podcast no I swear guy do that you know. sometimes in podcast you know like I. experience a story and then when I say. it's like like you know I have to make. it entertained for the people whatever. whatever create conflict you know what I.

mean yeah and he's like whoa whoa whoa. what are you talk what and I go yeah and. he goes no my you know just the girl I'm. saying right is she she said that you. mentioned it but I never heard it is you. think he had to have heard it no really. no because it turns out. she is. a she is the fan oh so she's a she's a. Bobby Lee fan she said I think Bobby Lee. talked about you in a podcast oh okay.

right then we just start talking for. like an 45 minutes or and it was great. Hollywood stuff he was um super not I. couldn't believe how like um reachable. he was you know I mean and is that the. right word uh I mean reachable Rel. relatable relatable relatable yeah. reachable what the [ __ ] are you talking. about. um I mean you did reach him I did reach. him no and he was like so like super. open and nice and we talked brought a. variety of things and did it end well.

yeah really good was it like hey let's. no he just like know he was just kind of. like you know what I mean I really want. to do something with you or something. like that I Little Bay movie huh I don't. know little B you know things like that. are sad and I just take it you know I. mean with what whatever it is right you. know chalk it up sometimes they forget. but my point is is that you won't forget. it was a positive thing and apparently. he hung out there all night and like. Jason Collings and some Comics are like. he's still here we're hanging out he's. so cool you know what I mean so he. watched more shows yeah stayed there I. laugh and he just stayed there all night.

everyone's saying that he he was the. nicest he's such a nice guy and it was a. fun night I want to be like you when I. grow up you are because guys like the. bay you actually go golfing with and go. to like Oregon and some of these Mena. like I don't know these steep St these. vensa deep State like private [ __ ]. Mansion parties I'm sure you go in there. too Qin on yeah yeah we go. to yeah yeah yeah but there's something. going on with you I'm not I'm not in the. party I'm ad Jason it's funny the way.

that he can say this and the internet. will be like what is going on man what. parties do he get to go to none I sit at. my house all day he does he sits run all. no I actually do [ __ ] all [ __ ] day he. does I do [ __ ] all day you know what I. did today I wash my car and it's my. favorite thing in the world to handwash. my car and I went to a little shop in. Burbank and I bought all my little. supplies and it was really nice cuz the. girl did know me which is always nice.

and she spoke to me like a car guy and. it was like it I I like that like I'm a. nobody cuz I am a nobody but it was nice. she didn't like suppos you're like a car. guy what like you're a pet boy what the. we were talking cars we talked sh we. talked about stuff we like we talk about. certain waxes and soaps that we prefer c. c can you improvise that stuff or no. even if you don't know if you don't know. what you're talking about yeah I think I. can do it okay you try it oh have you. ever tried this caruba wax oh yeah what. the car carnal chuba well that's what it.

was originally called what did you say. in 1972 right caral racks no caruba yeah. but they used to call it carobu CaRu. yeah it waack like noou owned it yeah. exactly carobu yeah 1972 sui off of Hud. car I don't know why you're doing Asian. accents sir I'm just here at the car car. manufact I'm sorry about that that's a. little I see you and I think I don't. know but when you do great be sorry I'm. so sorry I'll get I'm so sorry you know. I'm going to leave no no no I'm yeah. yeah wait a minute am I the customer. yeah you're the you work there I work.

here yeah holy [ __ ] I'm fired. yeah oh how offensive you what I mean I. wonder if you did that they would leave. right 100% unless they're from Japan. then they love it I don't know they. might not know what was going. on excuse me you have a a Cano Rock uh. yeah we yeah we have it up there but. it's on the top shelf and it's uh pretty. expensive oh are you from Tokyo.

too maybe they would do that oh I would. remember you what's three Mitsubishi. Avenue uh I think Bonsai Bonsai way oh. next to the McDonald's yeah yeah yeah. yeah that's a good. McDonald um yeah wow no I talked car. stuff and it just felt nice to be like a. a human with someone instead of but let. can I ask you about the wax yeah what. about [ __ ] oh I love it I know but. because I've I've never had wax on my. car I know I can sell yeah yeah yeah I'm.

waxless you're waxless and people seem. to like it still who likes your car. people go nice right except for when. they see the other it's a piece of [ __ ]. it's smashed to [ __ ] I know know you're. right but um what does the wax do my. friend it protects the uh it protects. the paint it protects the uh it doesn't. get skin cancer what are you talking. about yeah SPF 35 is on there it's in. the sun all day that poor girl yeah yeah. so ects the paint it keeps it shiny and. fresh and glossy and more than anything. if you watch Karate Kid you would learn.

wax on wax off it's more about patience. it's more about life lessons it's deeper. than just getting dirt off a car it's. about connecting to these roots of like. I purchased a thing I want to take care. of it I want it to look nice it's work. you sweat it feels good you get. meticulous it shows it shows a lot of. different things in life so Mr Miyagi. was teaching him I love that scene do. remember and it probably doesn't make. any sense but what do you mean it makes. perfect sense oh so he's waxing cars.

he's painting fences and then one day. you know mean M does that and he does. this like if he's painting doesn't make. any sense it taught him patience and. timing oh that's true okay and he had to. do his chores someone had to do all that. [ __ ] right but what a cool scene I mean. one of the best movies of all time I. think so Daniel's son that's right. Daniel's son it's a metaphor wow. Daniel's son that was a great movie. phenomen phenomenal I love that movie I. I mean I honestly I could watch it right.

now can we put it on no no yeah can we. throw it on please but um okay I dreamed. about going to do crane kicks at the. beach standing on one of those old. wooden things I thought about that all. the time yeah but here's the thing you. there's things that you. like like you have little things like. you know you go you you can go to a golf. store and look at the little like you. know the little what am I looking at. I'll tell you what you're looking at. you're look at the little jackets that. go over the like little you know what I. mean this part the little jackets well. you know like you know how oh like the.

one next to Andrew yeah right there I. call those a little jackets oh a little. Club jacket yeah little Club jacket this. is a little Club jacket and I'm going to. call that from now on okay good I go can. you get my club jacket please and then. you probably look at like um you won't. believe what that's called what head. cover oh head cover mm I didn't know no. I know little it's it's not something. that I I'm not interested in it right. but you have other thing interest like. cars like that kind of stuff yeah you. can walk into like uh Pet Boys I guess.

yeah walking with Pet Boys yeah yeah. yeah and look and go oh look at the. collaborator you this this goes really. well with the rot collaborator rotation. cuffs what right rotator cuffs yeah and. the oil petroleum oil is very good with. these rotation clubs petroleum jelly you. put petroleum jelly all over Exxon has. the best kind I don't know what they my. point is is that and you're that with. watches too yeah no German maid or. whatever you say you know what I mean. but it's like I literally have none of. that yeah we like different things no I. don't have any interest I I can't go. into any store and go oh look you know.

what I mean look what not true yeah. Chinese stars you you like yeah this one. was IM manderin clothes you like uh. shoes sex shops sex. stores I mean this is all true you have. the same meticulous love it's just our. loves are. different it's I think it's different. shoes though no there's not a I don't oh. yeah I guess you may you're right yeah. I'm like that with. smells fragrances my house yeah have I. there smells all over my [ __ ] house.

yeah it's a fragrant house yeah yeah I. have I'm not kidding you I probably have. 450 colog of various kinds yeah that's. yeah that's that's and then I also have. oils for the little rocks that I have. you know what I mean so I guess I do. have little things you have little. Trinkets and you would do and you would. go to a little trinket smell store and. you'd want to smell everything I want to. be a man is what I'm saying I don't have. man things yeah you do can tell me one. you have um.

animals cats you have dogs but they. don't live with me right yeah well. that's what I'm talking about it okay. let's move on you're manly though you. think so I G rate good show. me show me what do you mean let me see. your gy rate. bud you can't put that in there right oh. yeah you can your yeah your hump your. your hump your hump skills so what time. you watch long legs tonight. I'm going to go see long leges tonight. yeah you're going to like it it's pretty.

cool but I'm going to go alone oh that's. good cuz I want to he's scared yeah yeah. and you can't you can't do that when. you're with somebody yeah he's probably. I mean what a career Nick Cage the best. yeah because there was a while where he. wasn't he did all those small movies cuz. Hollywood probably pushed him out why. did it why he didn't get in trouble or. something he didn't do anything he he. did that one remember the Christian. movie was one of the worst movies ever. what was it called left left Left Behind. one of the worst movies ever made I.

don't remember that's yeah he phoned. every scene in it was one of the worst. movies you got to watch this movie there. he is on right there yeah he's phing. yeah yeah I mean there's literally one. scene where he has his like Captain's. head over his face you can't even see. his face he just saying his lines you. know what I mean he hated it and he but. they probably paid him a lot think about. how hard that is go back to the poster. and you see all those people in it like. this could be the break of their. lifetime and he's and he's just like. [ __ ] it yeah Chad Michael Murray Cassie. Thompson Nikki wheelen Jordan Sparks.

yeah I Gotta Be Love Jordan Sparks I. don't know who those people are I stupid. Chad Michael Murray is famous what I'm. stupid 20 years ago Jordan Sparks was a. pop singer. right oh I know him yeah yeah I know him. personally you do. yeah no seriously we have lunch on. Wednesdays I know we have lunch every. Wednesday that's no way yes me and CMM. that's what I call him I didn't know. that was his real. wow he's a good guy no I never met him.

but I bet he's rad I mean think about. that maybe maybe Chad was like [ __ ] this. film's going to be awesome and then the. guy that stars in your movie is like. [ __ ] this and bales that would bump you. would break your. soul yeah I mean um I I think they were. also going oh they didn't like it either. I don't think so it's a terrible script. it's you have to watch it's one of the. worst movies ever made well it's about. what he's a pilot and if a plane. disappears and it's no no this is what. it is it's a Christian so a Christian. production company made it you got me so. basically the Rapture all right right so.

like one day just people just kind of. disappear and then the clothes just fall. to the ground whoa and it's like six. dudes left going oh [ __ ] where oh no we. didn't believe in God what do we do. right and start party I know dude number. one I would go to the pharmacist yeah. right unless the pharmacist is still. alive no they're gone oh good he's in. heaven right yeah he's in heaven so [ __ ]. I would go you know like Drugstore. Cowboy I that's my one of is deloted you. know I mean I would just go try to find.

all the [ __ ] right get all the and then. you know what I would do d i FAS I. fantasize about this all the time dude I. can't wait right then I'm going to go to. San Marcos why San Marcos California you. know why why that's where the real doll. factory. is right so I go to the pharmacist right. probably nine pharmacists get all the. I'll relapse I don't give a [ __ ] oh [ __ ]. I okay I'm so excited so I relapse right. so then I'm going to get cars probably. still work yeah cars work work. everything works until it stops working.

but you can't get them fixed that's. right but I I you assume that for the. next 20 years you'll be a to find cars. that you'll be fine you just keep. getting a new car switch cars right go. to San Marcos right and I would go to. but I don't know how but they they have. prob pre-b you know mean i' get 20 of. them know what you think I think you. would just go in and use it when you're. done you'd leave no because I don't want. I don't want to live in San maros I. think where do you want to live. everyone's gone I would I would go to. back to Malibu or something like a nice. Beach property okay then get yourself an.

18-wheeler truck and load that [ __ ] up. with sex doll toys and bring it up to a. house in Malibu yeah yeah bring it to. Spielberg's house and pack that thing. with real dolls yeah I I would love to. have sex with a real doll on deloted. right with a [ __ ] Amistad poster back. me that's a fantasy of my imagine that. right so um and you're talking to her. you're like you know I directed that. movie yeah. jizz all over her face yeah I so I I.

have all these fantasies what I would do. the real doll factory is where you'd go. I'm trying to genuinely think if if that. happened and a bookstore probably a. bookstore yeah because I because I like. I I need to be doing something and so. I'll like I'm going to read you're not. yes I am yes I am you don't read now. what's the difference I would learn to. re I'll be so bored you can just [ __ ] a. real doll all day long on deloted try me. yeah yeah yeah eventually you're like oh. Hemingway yeah Sun Also Rises I don't.

even know what I would do I can't even. imagine what I would do if like so how. many people are gone of the population. it's it's like almost everybody only a. few people are no half the population is. proba oh well that's a lot of people. still left okay but I have scenarios in. my brain when I go to bed I think of. these things what imagine if there's. only 50. people who on planet Earth you'll never. going to run into anybody so what would. you do you're never going so you're. alone basically this is the scenario. yeah what would you do the first thing I. would do yeah. you can't kill.

yourself boring boring yeah don't kill. yourself no you want well you stay I'd. stay alive but you're never going to see. anybody again so you're the last person. on Earth basically yeah you don't know. that they're there the 50 so you're. never going to see them but what if what. if you run into one of them yeah yeah. and it's the most annoying. guy like who would be the annoying you. think to have on Earth yeah it's not. going to also be cuz it's like if. there's 50 people like a teacher from. high school that's still around right.

and there's probably half of them are. women right probably and then probably. seven of them that'd be great if it was. 49 dudes and one chick and you got to go. find her oh wow the. hunt so what would you do 50 people the. first thing you do first thing I do yeah. boom everyone's gone clothes drop boom. what do I do well at first you would go. like what what's going all that what's. going on panic panic sheer panic so. after a week you find out you know what. I mean that you're there's no one around.

then what do you do I go to go to. Downtown LA go go to skid row because. the bodies are gone but the drugs are. still there right right you know they. leave all the belongings it's not where. all I mean there are other drugs other. places where are they CVS no no I'm. talking about H I'm riding the horse I. want a heroin so I'm going downtown. kiddo I'm going to a safe needle drop. spot yeah yeah and I'm grabbing those. needs jamming them in my arm and also. downtown there's a Lamborghini. dealership and I'm grabbing one of those. and I'm on the horse as I'm flying. through LA on that stuff dude I'm.

driving right to the sunset on the 10. yeah. dude just hored out of my mind. yeah whoa dude dude going I'm as fast as. I can just slamming into [ __ ] and then. as soon as I get to the beach we're. watching him me the water right off of. the pier into the ocean no oh yeah dude. yeah and then I'm jerking. off wow 100% but what here's the horror. what if you can't die oh [ __ ] like. Groundhog Day yeah like groundhog you. can't die well then you find a new fun.

thing to do every single day right I. would jump well a couple of times you. want to jump off of something you want. to know what that feels like yeah also. fashion you could just wear whatever you. want well I'd be naked I'm not going to. well I'm not going to bother with. clothes socks and underwear have like. those gigantic green Rave. pants right with the loops with theop. I've always wanted to wear one of those. little [ __ ] hats with the little. propeller right and you know what I. would wear one of those like you know. the Eric Griffin masks. oh the big nose the big nose Eric. Griffin.

masks right and I would probably take a. tattoo gun and just be tattooing. yourself I I always post Malone it yeah. on the face yeah what would I put just. like a bunch of. fours four four just all over my face. what it's some arbitrary number right. yeah it be and then all of a sudden they. come. back then I'm going to be like what I. got needles in my arm at. where have you guys been insane my teeth.

are all gone yeah wow it'd be fun to. pull out a tooth that would be fun oh. that's yeah the things that could go. wrong I'll tell you what would go wrong. well if you get sick oh yeah well so. this like I don't know how chemo works. or how to get it I don't even know if I. have how do you even know you have. cancer I go to the scripts there's no. one there I don't even know I press a. button I don't know what to do you just. sit in the machines by. yourself yeah yeah you print it out I. can't read this yeah and you leave wow. wow that'd be a nightmare it would be it.

that's the you know and you know what. the lesson in life is guys we need. people so be nice to each other that's. exactly we need each other we don't we. don't want a. society uh without whether we agree or. disagree we need each other. mhm I've always you know I mean that. yeah here's another fantasy I have at. night yeah because you know I need. fantasies before I go to bed and over. the years I just put scenarios in my. head and I go what if this happens so.

I'm a big fan of the movie Highlander. love right so what if you couldn't die. but you were born from the beginning of. time right and you had to just live. through time so so so you're Immortal. yeah but in in my head it's like if I. looked 5 fo two in Asian I could only. hang out in Korea until like. 1960 in my mind I think that right. because there's no way there's no part. of History yeah right where I'd be.

completely accepted you know what I mean. well yeah what do you mean what do you. mean what do you mean what do I mean. what place What place would you be. accepted forever what Korea China I. probably learn all the languages Asian. Lang pass for Mexican he bro see all. right maybe he sold me on it I would. probably wouldn't even know how to get. there until 1960 if I was you yeah and I. wanted to last from the beginning it'd. be the islands oh anywhere onland any. Island they're never going to [ __ ] with.

you cuz you look so native to a a place. surrounded by water you look like a guy. thank you so much for saying that I've. always thought that but thank you for Am. I Wrong than you so much you look like a. water boy yeah yeah but then who would I. have sex with what do you mean no Nick. you're not around who would you have sex. with on the island yeah well people. would inhabit it natives would inhabit. it right right just brown people like. Simon and stuff it's a dark yeah darker. us oh darker use darker use yeah yeah. but in my mind yeah I wouldn't even see. it know what a white person is may be.

what a what a blessing but but here's. the thing to never see a white yeah but. in the but in my mind I would love to. been at historical places oh okay like. like me like like go to the like Jesus's. shop did he have a little store a little. yeah yeah yeah like oh there nice aaman. not like really get involved he would. probably know who I was like oh you're. the guy that you know mean that we God. made from a long time you whatever but. what if Jesus was you going to he's real. chatty yeah like I walk in ding ding.

ding do they does is there like a hey. welcome how are you brother hey I'm just. new in town you know I'm. from where are you from. Palestine welcome thank you whoa there's. something different about you because at. all the other stores they won't even let. me in well let me tell you something. with those other people they don't have. a heart like me oh my arms fell off oh. hold on. whoa you're welcome thank you what's. your name. Jesus hello Jesus last.

name. God oh hi hi Jesus God hi hi what can I. help you with today what are you looking. for oh I'm looking for um actually a um. a guillotine do you make those we make. Guillotines yeah is that what oh they're. called from where I'm from oh they call. them. Gilla a guillotine yeah yeah yeah g Gia. yeah oh Guillotine been saying it wrong. for a long time yeah yeah because we get. a brochure Guillotine brochure and you.

know yeah it's just spelled guillotin I. got to tell you I I got they're going to. kill me soon I got to go they're going. to be killing me soon when today oh yeah. people I trust a lot oh really yeah some. of my best friends actually oh because I. was running into a guy named Paul you. know. him. yeah good dude yeah yeah yeah good dude. he taught me how to serve last week yeah. yeah yeah at the Dead Sea oh cool. waves no waves and we still surfed it's.

unbelievable body boarding body boarding. yeah cool all right I have a real. genuine concern I need your help hold. on cuz I want I want to help you please. oh he's got to. pray I love you so much and I'm going to. be here as a friend this is friend talk.

with Bobby Lee and I'm going to be an. open [ __ ] vessel and I am going to. I'm not going to go for comedy I'm going. to go for real okay so what is your. problem my friend are you being. serious M when I go Mama G Mama right. and I do friend talk I'm 100% serious. I'm not going to go for comedy I need. your help go ahead I forgot my iCloud. password and I don't know how to reset. that [ __ ]. thing and it's really been driving me.

nuts no what is my I really have a. concern and I'm being serious about this. my memory feels like I'm I'm slipping. away dude I'm bro I swear to [ __ ] God. dude I the other night I thought I was. losing my memory I've like started to. forget things way more of me to me too. and here's another thing dude the other. day I was laying in bed and I was like. trying to think of Arsenal players that. I'm a big fan of and I couldn't remember. like four or five of them what's going.

on with us no I'm being real me too I'm. not making this up so there's something. in the water something in the there's. something going on where I'm like. forgetting things or sometimes I'll. pleas play stardew Valley and I'm like. like like if I I have to pick turnips or. not turnips um what uh what was it oh. yeah it was melons I go I you just. forgot that I forgot that I know I know. and I was like running to cuz I had to. pick melons right because I had to make. pancak. oh pinkcake it was a you to say pancake.

no pink pink pink cake oh pinkcake no I. didn't say it like that okay all right. right and I'm like because it was. [ __ ] Haley's birthday right no. Penny's birthday I forgot that see right. and then I was running and I was like. what am I running toward whoa like I. didn't know what I was running toward I. what was I. doing and I had to think for a while I. go oh yeah melon melon what but when. you're running for melon. and you forget it that's that's a danger. dude I've been running for melons my.

whole life dude so what is going on with. you tell me what you forgot I'm doing. little things now that I used to never. do my memory's usually I'm usually very. sharp and well for you I've always said. I have no long-term memory it's crazy. it's gone but the short term used to be. so good but I'm doing things I used to. never do that would bother me like what. I'll put a thing somewhere forget where. I put it and I never do that wow I lost. car key dude I lost a car key hello what.

is going on the other day I was like. where's my car key no I'm mean real I. where is it I lost the car key it was in. my hand in your. hand the woman at the dealership goes. well you got the car home cuz I have the. second key you going SE it somewhere in. your. house don't you don't know I can't I. cannot tell you yeah and I'm telling you. this without fine my I would have no. [ __ ] devices oh my God thank God for. fine my dude without fine my no devices. isn't that a cousin of yours find my.

yeah yeah that's what I meant my cousin. runs. around where's my phone I find it and he. just runs around dude me I'm forgetting. stuff dude I'm getting a little worried. I'm not gonna lie dude I I I'm I swear. on my life right now dude scaring me I'm. literally going through the same thing. it's been in the last couple of weeks I. go am I losing my mind in fact a couple. of times did didn't I tell you guys that. on this podcast where I go am I M. forgetting things do I seem like I'm Lo. do remember I said that but you know.

what I've learned to Humble us out. Stress and Anxiety can make you feel. like you're not remembering stuff but. it's because your brain is overwhelmed. there's two you know what it is there's. too many things clogging up the. production line and so nothing can get. produced my God you know when a chip bag. gets caught on you know like a chip bag. it's like oh [ __ ] and it gets caught and. you boop boop another one and it gets. another one in there that's our brain. that's a chip p a chip a bag of chips in. a vending machine yeah and all it needs.

B9 sometimes you go B7 and oh it meant. to do B9 but all you need and now you're. getting the [ __ ] you know what I mean. you need a six oh you drop and knock. everything out wa I never thought about. that yeah yeah yeah so I'm taking an A6. in a couple of days you are I'm A6 in. out to Hawaii and what are you going to. do there golf don't even golf mahiki you. going to golf there W Lea W who you. going with. who you going with you going. with a good friend of mine barbad du.

salaman barbad Salamon was my Shaman for. many years oh I know you told me about I. read his book barbad Salamon yeah yeah. the one thing I hate is the Happ night. he wrote Happy night night he makes me. dock I don't want to he makes me dock. with him but that's because you're. trying to connect energy. yeah barbad is a strange guy yeah when. you and I do yours swallows up mine it. does and it's like it's not right it's. it's too the power your power is too.

much no you know what it looks like you. know those little attachments on a. vacuum you're you're yours is the. attachment hose and M is the one that. Clips in oh right right right I I suck. it in you suck it so hard what does the. rest of the summer hold for us greatness. we're going to Montana going to Mont oh. yeah make announcement we're going to. Montana because Bobby's going up there. to shoot a movie or a TV show a movie. with who what who was in it that's good. who's in it what why who's in it Jim. balushi famous you love him yeah what do.

you mean Legend yeah he's the man yeah. According to. Jim that guy that guy and he's got a. weed show right that's great is that and. then I'm doing it with uh Miss Jones oh. my mom hi I was downtown in Katie's. apartment today ready to help her the. move we'll chat. tomorrow is that a. translator. probably it's probably like phone transl. yeah I love her so much when I saw her I. hugged her so.

deep they were happy to see you when. they ran into really love them let me. see let me read you this poem though. real quick I am the mayfly. metamorphosing I can't even read it I am. the mayfly moring on the surface of the. river and I the bird which when spring. comes arrives in time to eat the mayfly. I am the frog swimming happily in the. Clear Pond and I'm also the grass snake. who approaching in silence feeds itself. on the frog I am the child in Uganda all. skin and bones my legs as thin as bamboo.

sticks I am the arms Merchant selling. deadly weapons to. Uganda I am the 12-year-old girl Refugee. on a small boat who throws herself in. the ocean after being raped by a sea. pirate I am the pirate my heart not yet. capable of seeing seeing and loving wow. what are you looking up what is that he. goes wild oh I saw something wild what'. you see Wild I was at a coffee shop and. the gentleman making the coffee had one. he had two arms but only one hand and it.

was wait wait let me stop you know me I. need visual Vision he had two arm two. arms and what one hand one hand was. missing very good yeah he had he had a. yeah okay the hand's missing okay and. and I didn't notice it until he handed. my handed me my coffee with the. obviously the nub hand yeah his but the. nub was inside my coffee and he mov yeah. got all over the place yeah no I assume. it was the one with the grip no like a. chest piece he went your. right your move oh it's like a rook he. was Rook to pawn Rook to Pawn Yeah Rook.

to pawn latte Rook to pawn I see no but. he had but he had one hand and honestly. yeah I'm not mocking him at all he was. unbelievably fast doing the orders. taking the. thing and it was so quick and I thought. how is it no fingers I mean he I mean. look yeah yeah move things around like. like well I mean I mean let's say. there's a coffee cup right here. right if it spills most of the time it's. most of the time it's going to Spill and. maybe the Nub's more sensitive it had.

one of you know you know the coffee. sleeve you put on the outside of a cup. you had that on his nub yeah you know. here's what I don't like you know here's. what I don't that's very funny you know. what I don't like when they have nub but. only two fingers chop get those yeah you. mean yeah yeah I mean it's like you know. just commit to one you don't how to do. every time if I did have a nub every. every time like like this like that rock. if I had a nub yeah I'd be like yo throw. me that rock yeah yeah yeah toss to me. ah [ __ ] I would do it with the nub hand.

I try to go for it with the nub hand and. people would laugh yeah because it's a. good bit you got like dude you know you. got to give yourself a little bit right. right right like he I don't think he. said anything about it cuz but if I'm. him you know what I mean well no I don't. I would make a joke about it yeah dude. you know you'd have to say something. yeah yeah it's like you uh you what kind. of milk what kind of milk do you want. what oat milk okay yeah uh you want do. you want anything inside of it vanilla I. here's what I don't want inside of it. what your.

nub I think it'll taste funny excuse me. yeah I just don't want nub in my coffee. you're rubbing my nub the wrong. way yeah yeah yeah now rub it for good. luck for real yeah yeah yeah thank you. yeah you'd have to pound everyone you'd. have to oh you know you'd be cool if you. had the one hand missing and you saw. another guy with one hand you probably. from across the restaurant. go and they go right like we relate yeah. yeah now by the way way did I over tip. the guy with the nub yes you did under. tip he need half as much right yeah no I.

I over tipped him I put 20 I put 20. bucks in the thing yeah but but it it's. he's not the it's not like you know what. I mean no like I'm I'm a sucker you're I. felt bad but it's like I shouldn't feel. bad for burn victims well you see them. all the time are they burn victims you. see them a lot yeah when last time you. saw a burn. victim prump prump Nevada that's where. they keep them yeah I saw one burn. victim in parump you go to parump yeah. yeah you know what I almost did.

yesterday here you go on the way to the. store I almost went to Carney and it's. been years since I've had a hot dog at. cares love it that place I know I should. go I I I I don't know when's the last. time you had a hot dog yeah when's the. last time you had a hot dog uh three. days ago from dogh house you eat hot. dogs that often I love hot dude let me. say something about Hot Dogs Wait what. you eat hot dogs more I do bro that's. why I always purposely go to Chicago. airport for the hot dogs because I need. a Chicago dog me too but it's it's a.

very special occasion you're eating a. midweek you're eating like a hot dog on. a Wednesday yeah that's insane dud I. love them hot dogs and I've been really. getting into Smashburgers as of late but. I love dog house that's nice but always. something bad happens at. dogghouse you know why you know why why. why because dog house is where I found. out that my dad was dying are you. serious and you still go back yeah I was. in the Burbank dogghouse I remember. sitting there I didn't even eat my meal. you left the dog yeah I left two dogs.

two dogs and tater tots I got it yeah. yeah and I'm you know and I go yeah. Daddy I go oh [ __ ] every time I go to. dog house something bad kind of happens. ever since then you think about your dad. yeah maybe that's what that's so sad. yeah it's very sad we should go make it. a happy we should go to dog house and do. something for your dad and do that I. would love to do that why have his ashes. maybe sprinkle some on there on a dog. yeah yeah I usually just do mustard but. I I could. yeah bring the spirit radio see if he's. there we should bring the spirit radio.

to the dogghouse see if we can contact. your father through dog through hot dog. yeah please did your dad like hot dogs. hated them that's why [ __ ] hated them. yeah maybe they he hated them right you. know I was on um this lady goes I saw. the Rolling Stones last weekend and they. were great and she showed me a video. what the [ __ ] how the stones how are. they still doing it yeah Mick Jagger. just going out still I mean how's he. doing kill he's probably the he's. probably in the best shape ever he's 80. but it's amazing Keith Richard is alive. because yeah he smoked what a pack of.

marro maros every day for like 30 years. or whatever yeah and he's still up there. it's proof that it's all [ __ ] it's. it's it's it's it's an accident delane's. young she might die tomorrow right it. who knows you could live to be 96 years. old I know chances are actually higher. that you'll outlive in fact I read a. study that says some people that. exercise too regularly have a higher. risk of dying because stress that. exercise puts on your body wow it does. exercise has stress there are stress. related things that goes to your heart.

yeah like my my organs don't move much. they don't need to move yeah maybe. they're being preserved in my body yeah. you're pickling yourself yeah I'm. pickling my own body that's great heavy. stress heavy stress from like people who. usually live look working out's. Obviously good for you but people who. you live a lifestyle that work out often. tends to be the same kind of personality. traits of people that lose sleep because. they're overworking some people die from. drinking water never well if you drink. too much yeah there was one girl that. did it one time that's the one I'm. talking about what's that the girl that.

died from drinking what did she drink. like eight gallons of water no there was. a college kid who took Molly and he got. scared he kept drinking water and died. that's how you die on Molly you think. you're dehydrated Indiana woman dies. from drinking too much water I wonder. what the like the um the first sign is. of pain a dizziness they say dizziness. and and you start to get headache real. bad headache and then you drink more. water thinking that'll help your. headache interesting that is crazy man. it's like when you know somebody's on. like a reality show like alone or or. Naked and Afraid yeah they can't eat.

right away no cuz like like I'm going to. get a [ __ ] Philly cheese T that would. kill you well you throw they throw up. usually your stomach is shrunk by that. point you could die maybe even what. would you what's the first thing you. would eat. peanut a peanut like if I'm like on on a. show like alone like I okay give me a. peanut first CU I want to die I don't. overwhelm my system one peanut shifts in. Electro levels can cause serious. complications including seizures heart. failure and Comas if you just got off. the show you and I did naked in a freid.

yeah yeah all right yeah we're done. they're like anywhere you want to go. anything you want to eat you don't go to. right to [ __ ] Barcelona and go to a. restaurant no you you have to go to a. camp they they they have doctors and. stuff that observe your body I know I'm. saying the first meal you have when you. get home but is this right when I'm off. the show or when I go home let's pretend. that it is for the sake of are we going. home together you and I yeah we're going. out to eat together yeah okay so we. would probably go to what restaurant. would we got do. mastros I would want I'd want steak. potatoes vegetables salad I'd want a.

[ __ ] little little bone. marrow I would slurp up some bone marrow. and that bacon that that that crack. bacon I want crack BAC cck bacon yeah. sugar crack bacon baby and then I would. get [ __ ] Seafood. Tower oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. oh you know what we get caviar M with. crem freshh on your nipples I'll lick. them off you really yeah yeah yeah it. doesn't even have to be crem fresh for. me it could be your my my crem. yeah yeah my creme d i me I would. literally probably do that if I was.

starving you're hungry enough yeah yeah. if I had some like caviar that I I'd. make you watch me cook you know what you. I stand right there while I'm. cooking yeah yeah okay anyway if you're. going to eat the chef's meals and the. chef's got a taste as you know he has to. spoon it his own that's enough I don't. think bread would be good would it oh my. God yeah like a whole sourdough bread D. we went to dinner a couple nights ago I. ate a whole I you know when they bring. out the Bread Basket I ate the whole. thing to myself oh I love [ __ ] house. it house it yeah my wife was like what. are you doing yeah I was like I we.

didn't eat lunch I'm hungry there's. sticks in there like when they do that. or I'll eat the sticks you I don't like. the sticks you don't like the bread. sticks I like the warm like bre bread. you like the pretzel bread that's what. you like how do you know that that's my. favorite how do you know that about we. eat together that's right I love the. pretzel bread yeah I love pretzel bre. buns on like hot. dog you know who has it I don't care. what you say weener s all yeah yeah I. know you like that Chicago dog with a. pretzel bun that's it dude weener.

Schnitz I'll tell you my glorious day of. eating a perfect day of eating for. breakfast like we said B [ __ ] oh sorry. yeah of course [ __ ] yeah yeah baked. beans your that's my second breakfast. right yeah yeah yeah yeah your perfect. breakfast is baked beans spam a rice egg. and kimchi done lunch Chicago dog mhm. with the pretzel bun mhm tater tots with. some some spicy like dip oh yeah some. sort spicy mayo yeah dinner now here we.

go here we go I don't know that's what I. mean I don't know there's so many. options too many yeah the Chicago Cubs. have invited me to throw out the first. pitch and sing the seventh inning. stretch in Chicago no September 6th. against the New York Yankees. wow yeah and congratulations I would. love for you to be there I can't okay I. will not be there fine I'm going to. watch you pitch are you your mind you. come out with me no I'm not going out. there dude come on they're not going to.

know me you'll be the catcher I'll be. the pitcher just like in real. life gay sex. joke congratulations that's a huge thing. dud I can't wait man they reached out. and they said they would it' be you know. they would love for me to do it so I'm. going to throw out the first pitch so. you and I here's what I want to do I. need to warm up will you do I'll do it. will you warm me up I'll warm you up. dude okay so congratulations watch me. warm up on patreon you got to watch me. and Bobby are going to go in honor of. Brody Stevens we'll go to a cage in uh.

in what is he what is it uh huh we'll go. to one of those cages up north in the. valley somewhere where he used to throw. congratulations that's a huge thing yes. Sano yeah I'm gonna get to throw out the. first pitch and sing the seven inning. stretch which I can't wait it's funny. how you don't think your friend is big. but they are you don't think. I'm so mean no you know no you I mean. you don't look at me like. you I'm just your friend Bob you don't. think of like what you know I don't.

think of you like a famous. guy you I do yeah same to yeah same to. same to you too but you but you know. yeah it takes you out of it's just weird. well when you see like I'll see like you. know Nikki Glazier on something I go oh. [ __ ] yeah well she's on everything yeah. or any of your friends well you watch a. movie and go oh [ __ ] that guy's in the. oh yeah that's my friend he's in a movie. yeah yeah thank you for being bad friend. of thank you for being a bad.

friend tired guys heads up I mean it's. he ran around all [ __ ] day the guy. had [ __ ] to do all [ __ ] day I did he. had to go to a [ __ ] meeting go to a. podcast he had to go return a motorcycle. he had to go meet he had to go meet. someone at his old house uh he had to. meet someone at his new house then he. had to run back across town and do. errands and then on top of that he had. to take a couple of meeting phone calls. about writing projects he's involved in. dude the guy's been working Andrew was.

very busy too guys you know all day you. got to wake up hang out with his [ __ ]. Hollywood friends at the golf Studio. playing golf couple couple te's right. everything I. named everything I named I did today I. did the same thing you didn't do [ __ ]. you woke up and you didn't do [ __ ] no I. [ __ ] you shut up shut the [ __ ] up I'm. tired suck my [ __ ] dick Shut the [ __ ]. up you don't do [ __ ] shut the [ __ ] up. okay back to the old days we're going. back to the beginning of bad friends. shut up shut the [ __ ] up you don't do. [ __ ] sleep all [ __ ] I'll tell you.

this then you contribute Goose goose EG. your lips are so dry and blending into. your face that I can't even tell that. there is lips okay get your [ __ ]. together get some lips yeah that's. that's. good and your two little bum teth coming. out dude Beaver you're hitting it hard. you're a beaver dude you know what I. mean you're hitting it hard you want. some wood make a dam whatever they do. you know what I mean clog it up dude. clog up the river dude this is good you. piece of hey what what what what are you. wearing my friend oh yeah you know what.

he's wearing what John TR was wearing. after the murder at P fix remember shut. the [ __ ] up get your foot together. dude what's wrong with it oh my God your. legs too. anyway it's out of control dude don't. [ __ ] around dude you ready to get. started don't [ __ ] shut the [ __ ] up tell. me what to do see this is what I know. when he's not good fat [ __ ] oh cuz I'm. morbidly. obese I put my my my I put my [ __ ]. weight and my height in a [ __ ] app. thing and said I was morbidly obese. you're going to tease me like that.

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