Asian Brad Pitt & The No Nut October | Ep 136 | Bad Friends

what is up bad friends I'm so excited to. announce that I'm going to be doing New. Year's Eve shows in Boston Boston. Massachusetts at the wilba theater uh. we're doing on the 30th and the 31st so. if you have plans on either of those. nights you get one night off to come see. your boy at the Wilbur Theater on the. 30th and the 31st in Boston. Massachusetts I'm so excited to be. bringing in the New Year in Boston and. uh tickets are going on sale this week. they'll be on sale on Thursday pre-sale. code will be Cheeto and then everybody. else will get them on Friday open to the.

public but get them early they'll sell. out so andrewsantino.com is where we're. going to get those tickets to see me in. Boston for New Year's Eve and New Year's. Eve Eve andrewsantino.com. andrewsantino.com. two are bad friends who are these two. idiots. you two are disgusting my YouTube or. something we're bad friends I've been. watching that show C I can't watch it. anymore it I I hate it. you know what c is yeah it's awesome you.

see the whole thing yeah yeah. who came back to the show bum bum bum. it's my little Rudy girl Rudy girl Rudy. girl she hit her head or did she get hit. Rudy girl was it domestic abuse do you. want to tell us something about your. boyfriend hurting you physically and not. talking about it it wasn't he hit you in. the head and we're taking him to court. yeah by the way two two core things. going on you know why Carlos isn't here. why because he's afraid he's scared he's.

scared he ran scared why are you going. so fast right now he ran scared you're. doing great you know why why because. because he knows he's going to court for. the kalala case yep oh [ __ ] yeah I'm. pressing charges as well I know he made. love to her mouth he made love to her. mouth do you know about this no you know. Carlos the Mexican the Mexican character. he tongue kissed kalila when oh Mike you. know what she's playing dumb isn't she. dumb I don't know oh you liar dude. anything this is he's learning and in.

his mind he was eating her pastrami. like it's a [ __ ] Deli it's a Jewish. deli all the beef do you have proof oh. yeah it's on tape [ __ ]. I can read energy dude can't you read. energy big time and yours is [ __ ]. your energy right now is [ __ ] you. know what dude you're in your [ __ ]. boyfriend beat you yeah put you in the. hospital why do you Filipinos take so. much abuse he Chris Browner is it. because of Manny Pacquiao no know and it.

wasn't my boyfriend who was who was it. it was someone else name him. no oh [ __ ] was your boyfriend his. boyfriend it's either nobody or your. boyfriend sounds like it was her. boyfriend but I have a concussion yeah. you do kid let's find out if you have a. concussion all right this is the. protocol okay. what year is it. 2022. you're fine. that's it no is there more questions oh. there is yeah what is it what happens. um who's the vice president of the. United States. president Kamala Harris very good.

president oh yes vice president yeah. yeah oh you know what that means she. knows something we don't we don't know. is she really running the country. whoa whoa creepy yeah Rudy what's going. on we haven't seen you in so long. glad to be back so good you're back can. I just nothing dude can I just say. something did you come with anything no. he she did okay I have something to. bring up what. you got emotional.

over some of the attacks you got from. that clip oh yeah. oh it happened the clips that [ __ ] is. it you who what happened yeah there was. a clip of her not knowing about Black. Culture. and she got ripped apart on online what. do you mean I don't even understand what. the clip was was it she was saying. something about oh were you talking. about how much you don't like black. people no no no no not that wait what. was the clip she said something she was. just trying to remember she was doing.

stuff with her hand I forgot what it was. but like right and that I asked if like. you date like a black guy you have to. know like you don't want to get attacked. again so ease ease and do it fancy. brought a bunch of college students to. the show today brought them to my show. to go see me do an hour in Brea they saw. it uh four not all them oh yeah all them. what am I saying all them came yeah they. all came do you guys like it. lies they hated it they didn't like it. at all did you two of them fell asleep. were they on the list. no fancy bought tickets like an [ __ ].

I told you to do that no I was pissed. off. yo yo yo let me just say something to. you I know get him. we you know we rip on each other on the. show right right we tease each other but. you have to understand that we're a part. of a family. right there's no difference between you. and any of my cousins for instance uh a. little different but yeah I know yeah I. probably love you more than my cousins. yeah yeah yeah you don't like your. cousin right and I would do pretty much. anything for you. right so if you paid for a ticket it's.

just weird. okay right so from now on you just go. hey I need this many for this show all. right promise look at how uncomfortable. he is so uncomfortable man dude in the. Philippines are you gonna be like this. bro. yes yes. no dude we're gonna bond in the. Philippines bro oh my God yeah I'm. excited you guys are sleeping in the. same bed in the same room right sharing. the room are we staying in the same. hotel or no yes okay good get a room.

with two beds. get a room with two beds there's no way. come. on he's a clean guy he's not gonna be. able to share a room share a room thank. you. why that's offending me the budget is in. your room before it's whoa whoa what. it's like riddled with [ __ ] what are you. talking about. sometimes yeah. well do you remember Mexico yeah I was. high and on drugs using drugs I'm gonna. bring up another uncomfortable thing.

why this is great. you know what sometimes we need a clean. house that's right and sometimes we need. to say what's on our minds or what's. really going on I know what this is. gonna I know what you're you know. exactly right. the Jews oh. the Jews have taken over that okay I. didn't know where you were going I had. my own thing and I thought we were gonna. be on the same page weed. what happened what weed. no Jews. your replacement oh jet ski I thought.

yeah oh my God this is all over the. place what were you gonna say we're. gonna say Jesus Christ I feel like. you're upset that you think that jet ski. no has yes well let's talk about it. there's some threat you're threatened by. it I'm not yeah because you haven't been. on in a while you think am I getting. weeded out be honest let's [ __ ] talk. about it okay I'll be honest I I kind of. like it. you do you're kind of like what. the Juicy's here yeah yeah you like it. when she's here and you're not here or. when you're here together. when she's here and I'm not here all.

right okay hey man I don't think that's. how you feel number two who do you like. more dark or juicy I haven't seen Doc in. a while you'll never see him again I. messed up you may never see I miss him a. lot I like both but I only met jet ski. twice. and Doc this is a really good save. because I know and I've seen before what. she's doing right now yeah I can tell. it's [ __ ] it's [ __ ] not I. promise did you not cry in front of your.

mom on zoom and because of the racist. thing but also you think you're being. weeded out no. no so so are you saying the racist thing. made you upset and sad and by the way. I'm sorry for that I hope I'm I'm mad at. the people she's not racist by the way. well like watch trivia okay who's Rosa. Parks the one that had to go to the the. one the one that's not a good one the. girl that had yeah back of the bus but. she didn't go uh-huh and so yeah Booker.

T Washington. I don't know her yeah that's not a woman. yeah it's not a woman I don't know him. you know you've met women named Booker. I think maybe she thought I said hooker. tea yeah. that's totally fair and that's also. somehow even more racist yeah yeah. Rudy's not racist this show is a [ __ ]. comedy show it is so what are we talking. about Rudy you know who Malcolm X yeah. who you know Malcolm X yeah what did he. do. he's the one that's the same with.

um. I have a dream we'll be right back. yeah no yeah the same one you didn't. name the guy you what's the other guy's. name I am the what's I'm blanket I know. this isn't fair this isn't fair how do. you blink up Martin Luther King Jr Jr my. bad and see you messed that up are you. racist I didn't finish my sentence by. the way I didn't like yeah you're right. let me finish I gotta tell you you're. not racist Rudy well you are to white. people yeah I'm I'm proud of that that's. fine okay there you go and that's who.

you were attacking was attacking you or. was it black people attacking you it's. always white it's always whites online. doing all the damage you know it I know. it we all know it Pete dude when we. leave here Peach spends four or five. hours on online talking mad [ __ ] oh yeah. don't you Pete yeah all the time see. also Pete I just on my spare time I look. at the January 6th like footage and I. try to see if you're there you know what. though him and I we got out before any. of those cameras I know I think I saw. your back I was wearing a mask so oh.

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Pelosi Pelosi. mess that was you bring this up this is. how you know it start uh type it find. out who who founded Yelp who found out I. gotta tell you you know it's a white. person this is a complaining website let. me see it was a woman Yelp was founded. by Russell Simmons and Jeremy stoppelman. who's Russell Simmons not Russell. Simmons. wait not Russell Simmons. wait what. really no no [ __ ] way did that guy.

found not Russell Simmons click on that. Russell Simmons oh my God. businessman it's gonna show there he is. go back as well dude go back go back go. back how about the white Russell Simmons. put that white white Russell Simmons. there he is right there. that's not the same guy yeah that's. right that's Russell Simmons right so. what did we find out again whites change. your name yeah that's right you gotta. change your name dude right yeah we. already have a Russell Simmons if my. parents last name was Pitt and they.

called me Brad at as soon as I can I'm. Alexander or whatever you know what I. mean but it would be cool to be the. Asian Brad Pitt oh that's different if. I'm Asian that's one thing yeah because. that's cool yeah yeah the Asian bread. pits the [ __ ] that's if I looked like me. it wouldn't be yeah Fred Krupp what you. were great in frightcrub. ble. by the way spelled s-e-b-o-n Tebow sick. how is the temple break up I was in um.

by the way that should have been an. Asian bread that should have been an. Asian Brad Pitt in bullet train of all. people that deserve to be in that would. be Asian bread yeah yeah why is regular. bed on bullet train yeah everyone around. him is Asian yeah what the [ __ ] [ __ ]. racist so this is Russell Simmons this. is the point who started Yelp who. started the complainy whiny website. criticizing everyone's [ __ ] whites. [ __ ] whites are at it again this is. why you don't like these people right. now do you like me even though I'm one.

of them you're okay thank you you are. because I'm a little bit different yeah. you have red thank you yeah now how. about Pete I like feet okay what's. different about Pete. go ahead and say it. because he has a bigger go ahead go. ahead body what are you trying to say. that feels like. um a father figure yeah he looks like a. daddy yeah okay he looks papa-ish. now do we trust fancy even though he's.

not white well he wants to be let me. tell you something this guy. I've been trying. us he is right yeah we do really love. that guy but we do hate whites let's. okay good except George I like George oh. Mike he's the most white that's that's. one that I think has put his kid. [ __ ] hates me why it's half asian he. [ __ ] hates me tell me who's this. who's that.

who what's his name. who is he. the other day George brings. Tommy is that his name that's probably. why I [ __ ] hate it yeah you don't. even know his name yeah yeah as soon as. I walk in the garage he. [Music]. he like like freaking the [ __ ] out whoa. right so then I had to put on Momoa. what's it called Moana Moana Chase I had. to put on Jason.

just hanging out all right I had to call. Jason yeah I mean be nice get these. locks but um I had to put on some Moana. and then he calmed down but every time. he would look at me he would freak out. and then colella walks in and he's. Melanie McCloud the second time runs. into her arms so I think I'm a [ __ ] I. think they sense it no no no no Bobby. they think they said something that's. what all babies react to you to Bobby. would explain yourself like all the.

other kids explain when you go in front. of their face they just cry ex is that a. fact yeah it sounds like a fact yeah it. might be a fact yeah but why do you. think you scare little kids I think. because I look like a baby but I'm big. they think you're the biggest baby yeah. so it kind of scares them they're like. well he looks like us but you know I. mean he's so much bigger is this big big. baby Gonna Hurt yeah yeah what do they. when they see me they love me kids love. me because they I look like a clown did.

they really yeah they go oh they're. excited about the hair because they. can't believe the color. how often do they see this babies once. they're like it's it for real yeah and. I'm like come on Georgie yeah yeah I. also live in a sewer so that doesn't. help when I crawl out yeah. but the when they get to a certain age. they like me yeah yeah when they're like. 20. no no no no no I'm talking about. seven like seven or eight they begin to. like me because now you're a cartoon. character to them. what you're like you know like Jimmy the.

cricket like if the Lemonhead guy came. to life and they're like there he is why. the lemon yeah. because you're sour and sweet that's. good that's why yeah yeah but look if. the Lemonhead guy came to life that's. kind of you obviously that's right I. never thought. I'm a live action that's you yeah I. never thought of it but how sweet and I. and and I look like a literal clown yeah. so they think I'm kind of a cartoon guy. too we you and I look this is cartoon. characters that's kind of who we really.

are so little kids think we're funny. looking it's sweet there I am yeah. killed it in that movie there you are. God can I be honest you know I talked. about this on the show you know I tested. for that role did you really yeah I did. and I I be honest I'm not kidding you. tested for it and I and I worked really. [ __ ] hard on it. what can you and I didn't get it I can't. what's it can you do you remember any of. the lines or uh yeah like how did you do. it you played it real you have to play. it real okay so I'm being honest no. joking around yeah I did do really well.

on this audition they actually said that. they were like you did [ __ ] amazing. but they were being honest they were. like I think they're gonna go with. Skarsgard right that's what did his. brother yeah yeah they were like they're. gonna go with a name but the the the I. could tell you after the show who the. cast iron is because you know who they. are yeah but he was like you [ __ ]. genuinely they were did you go in Live. or did you live live and I did like a. creature I like got down on the floor. and did like a thing I did like an. entire performance because I wanted it. so bad I really got into character and I. was like plus you know I don't need to. do anything to my hair and nobody.

laughed. [Music]. yeah but look at that [ __ ] hair. that's my color yeah that's my exact. [ __ ] hair exactly they don't have to. do much no I said just white and I'm. that white that's kind of my skin just. give me a little bit of red and then I'm. good to go I had a one of those. auditions where I thought I got it but. like I killed it I didn't think I got it. but I knew I [ __ ] crushed yeah but. don't you so I I just for Bruno. oh really yes as his gay boyfriend oh. right you'd have been so good so before. the auditions I went to a thrift store. and I bought the like jean pants that.

were weight for women totally yeah I. took both of my nut sacks and I just put. it off the side we only have one not. sack Bud yeah both the ones testicles. you only have one sack two nuts I forget. I put one sack with the two testicles in. it do you need to tell me that you have. two sets because if you do you've seen. it I know you [ __ ] see it I just saw. it but I put it off to the side so when. I walked in my sack is exposed. right and as soon as I walked in the.

place just. fell to the ground how did you not get. that [ __ ] roll they said you're too. well normal face forget it [ __ ] off so. then they gave me the dictator after. that but like who got it some unknown. guy right yeah yeah but um where is he. now I don't know you see but I remember. having that audition going I crushed it. yeah and you and I I could have bet my. money that I would have got it God you. should have gotten that oh my God why. haven't you and I just played a gay.

couple. a fun little gay couple that'd be great. ugh and then like but let's do it for re. uh we're too well known to do like on. the streets why. we can do it in a place where people. don't know us I guarantee you and I go. to like. you and I go the Deep South or China or. Deep South they love us I'm talking. about like I mean like like rural I mean. out in the middle of nowhere like a. small town and if we put makeup on yeah. lipstick yes let's do it I would love to.

like like a couple let's imagine this a. couple you and I moved to Appalachia you. know in the mountains to a small town. yeah and we're new in town yeah and. we're opening up a small business. imagine how they'd react to us right but. it's obviously you know we're making a. cake shop here and we're only baking for. gays yeah and they're like that there's. no gays here Asian there are now yeah. yeah the only people that buy our cakes. are gay Asians gay Asians so we're. getting an influx of gay age then we. cast a bunch of our Asian friends to. come in to play new gays move into town.

I'm introducing belleva to this area. right hey which Bubba do you want I love. sucking on both yeah yeah yeah those. boys down there they'll be sucking on. balls at that store all day long that's. all they do if you and I moved to the. rural South to a small town and did like. a a character bit it would be [ __ ]. amazing amazing how long would you have. to be out there for a couple of months. we'd have to shoot a film it'd be a. couple what do you think. let's do it it seemed pretty it seems. plausible he always says that but it. never happens they would imagine what. they'd say about him. who's that gay little French dude you.

brought around yeah what about this. Spanish Spanish do you think they go not. to me it ain't what about this idea that. I had it with Cho but he doesn't really. want to do it you and I are handcuffed. with each other. for two months. I see why he didn't want it we could. never take it off two months yeah so we. [ __ ] together sleep in the same bed. sleep in the same bed take a shower. together yeah the whole thing how do we. get filmed how do we live how do we live. we can eat by the way can it be a week.

two months is such a long time I could. do it because the stakes are higher if. it's a month by the time three weeks. comes we're gonna kill each other what. hand is cuffed left or right because we. we're both righties we're both right so. coughing our right hand would be insane. then you could only use your left hand. even more that would be even more. frustrating wait wait so that's your. right so one of us would be right-handed. and one would be left-handed right well. we could face the opposite direction oh. that's true so that's your left hand. right there so you'd have to walk. backwards when I walk forwards yeah we. could do that we would [ __ ] murder. you know what I'd give up my [ __ ].

right hand for that for for proper. direction just to do it I just to do it. I would give off my right leg Yeah Yeah. because you know I could jerk off with. my left hand prove it. we'll do it when we do the show oh how. funny would that be you have to hold the. iPad I'll put the sheet over and I have. to drink over my left hand by the way. imagine you jerking off with my hand. handcuffed to your hand and I just have. to sit there and pretend like it's not. happening yeah. end up would be weird no stand-up would. actually be incredible yeah it would be. so well we'd have to go back to back.

we'd have just perform at the same time. yeah yeah we'd have to or we could do. you could do your act I'm just sitting. there and then it's once in a while you. go like this yeah yeah you like. something I said and then or you could. help me too yeah when I'm doing my eyes. let's do this I'll say your punchline. yeah yeah but you also can be tags. you'll go who was I molested by. but what do you think I'm down to do it. we have to film it though we have to. shoot we have to sell it first I'm not.

doing it as a [ __ ] experiment no no. let's do it let's sell it to somebody. sell it first and then go we're gonna do. this fancy get on it okay what do you. mean one week one week one week yeah he. wants a month kid wants a month buck up. or shut up. says we won't last a week right we'll do. it 12 days but do we do it in LA or. should we just go to a different city. where would be the best city to do. something because I don't want to be in. your house and then where do you where. do you stay at my house no we would stay. at a hotel yeah oh we do a hotel uh for.

sure yeah that's the only way this would. work yeah because I'm gonna see your. wife and your dog and so that'd be weird. I don't want to see your [ __ ] dog oh. that'd be great though if I slap in the. bed with you and your wife between us. that'd be weird it wouldn't be it would. be fun you'd be our little [ __ ] would. you be able to sleep though yeah. for sure no she won't. Babble you guys. I'm learning a foreign language English. you're barely barely speaking and I um.

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seven boxes and three free gifts. hellofresh America's number one meal kit. cool are you okay with all this Rudy I. just feel like you just want you just. have you just want to have an excuse to. like [ __ ] each other. okay okay we don't need an excuse yeah. first of all we could [ __ ] any time we. can [ __ ] each other whenever we want we. just she always makes it make scenarios. about gay you you gay just okay. excusing us of what are you trying to.

say. each other no no we don't each other hey. [Laughter]. that's not true we're just open I. promise you this we'll never [ __ ] each. other yeah sadly we won't sadly it's. just circumstances maybe in a different. life in a different life it's just not. worth it right now we've got too much. writing in the line but besides we sleep. together you sleep with someone you work. with it's gonna [ __ ] up our work. relationship but I feel like Tito Bobby. what is gonna like what do the first.

move nope uh he would do the first move. that's right I think that yes he would. you're curious yeah he is that's right. shut the [ __ ] Jules first Jules keep. going. I just feel like you're gonna bring. someone in the house. and it's a guy. oh so you're saying now that Auntie Kal. Island him are broken up that the first. thing he brings home is a man. you're making me so angry and can I tell. you something you're really [ __ ].

trying to I'm into this like crazy this. is actually a good feeling what kind of. guy what does he look like what is the. proof. I just have I just feel alive kids got. intuition really you got Vibes so you. think that as soon as you and Kyla move. out it's gonna be a sausage fest maybe. no. first of all can I just say this just to. Define myself. hang out with a couple of girls since. I've been wrong and they have no guys.

did you just hear what he said girls. yeah made out of a couple of girls what. about guys no guys not in a long time no. guys. actually yeah a girl at the show yeah. yeah he kissed a girl out at a live show. what in New York New York one of our. fans in the crowd yelled out tongue. twister. foreign. you can still like girls and like guys. what's on bisexual yeah yeah I promise. you not no more forget not never gay I.

mean no more. you're not selling it can I have that. again no I think you're not selling I. think that they have that again okay. let's see yeah yeah go. what's the line I don't buy it what's. the line it would be fed lines. holy [ __ ] anymore I won't be gay anymore. I'm never gay. anymore I was never gay every anymore. okay go action I was never gay anymore. ain't never gonna happen. okay by the way that should be your clip. on Grindr yeah when they play the video.

I was never gay anymore I'm not gonna. happen. and scroll to pictures that you just. naked yeah I don't I don't I'm not. what I'm saying to you is that I. wouldn't be ashamed if I was I would be. completely open but he's saying he's not. but you still think he's going to bring. a guy back to the house huh yeah no well. maybe to play like you know minky video. games that's what they call it what. Jenga. is that a new Street term yeah new Jenga. you've ever played it no I've done it.

yeah yeah you still you have to and then. every block you take out you put in your. ass I've done that no you put a dick a. block dick you know what I mean. you push out the blocks with your dick. no we put a dick in put a block and then. you pulled the block and then our Dick's. cut. it's a fun game dude Rudy what have you. been doing that you've been gone are you. working at the bookstore still. um she never did it no you [ __ ] I. knew you did never do it no because they. wouldn't give me an employment letter so. that I can get my Social Security number.

I knew it I knew she was gonna bail I. felt it in my bones and you know what I. bet you some of our fans showed up to. that thing because we told them to go no. job yeah I'd be scared to like no so you. haven't been working no you still dating. the same dude the guy that gave you. concussion she's sleeping and sleeping. um you're doing nothing else baking oh. what are you baking banana bread well. thanks for bringing some they're really. good well where the [ __ ] is it with. chocolate chips in it though oh great. why do you ruin it with chocolate chips. what are you doing I like chocolate I. know but you don't need it in banana. bread yeah people do this and I don't.

get it you don't need it it's too Brown. if it's just. that's not true you put some butter on. that [ __ ] let it melt hot hot hot yeah. yeah here's the deal make one banana. bread with chocolate and one without. you put nuts in it no do you use bananas. yeah yeah I mean you have to ask with. this girl yeah you never know yeah do. you use bananas yeah or is it plantains. it's bananas all right that's her home. country food bananas yeah yeah what what. what got you into bacon why did you. start doing this.

I got bored yeah and I've just been. watching Tick Tock and it's just all. about baking so I tried you're on you're. on baking Tick Tock I'm not on that one. yeah I've never seen one baking video on. a tick tock oh I also Andrew do not. watch the chef's table on Netflix on. pizza. tried it. what do you mean turn it off immediately. why tried it turn it off immediately you. watched it yeah I tried one episode but. Bianco the first one yeah why no I just. said so what do you mean. you don't like it no you don't like.

pizza no I love pizza but it's just it's. just yeah I I I don't know what I mean I. don't know [ __ ] explain you don't. like the you think pizzas for anyone can. make it yeah they can I know everyone. can make it but not like at a level like. a high level I think they can I think. Pizza is a [ __ ] for I think it's a. fraud I think it's a scam no because. anybody how many [ __ ] pizza. restaurants are there around the world. you're gonna make me so angry all right. so that one the forever episode Bianco I. think that's what it's called yeah in. Arizona right yeah so years ago my.

brother and I were 245 000 pizza. restaurants. but look up the one on down and uh in. Phoenix Bianco it's just too many I just. I think everybody can do it [ __ ] face. let me listen to you it's not that. artistic would you listen to me it's for. pizza. go ahead. so I was in um Arizona and I ran into. Joel McHale. do you know him do I know who that is. what is he. how do I think who he is.

what's his name right I love Joel yeah. yeah yeah Joe McHale he was on the. community we love him so I was hanging. out with him and he goes dude have you. seen we've been to Bianco right is that. what it's called yeah and I go it's just. pizza right I might need to go any pizza. you guys not pizza dude yeah he goes. it's the best pizza I've ever had am I. up my brother and I went there this is. before the [ __ ] Netflix I saw right. it was incredible we go this could be. the best pizza we've ever had and then. by watching the documentary it's. silified it what made it so good. it was the you can you know how you eat. something you go oh this is fresh yeah.

mozzarella right and there was something. about the dough that seemed very Like. New yorky in terms of the texture of was. it was it uh Brick Oven Pizza yeah yeah. it was just a really good pizza yeah. okay I get what you're saying you're. right you're right I've had so much. you're right I think you're right over. the course of my life and then you go to. Italy you have pizza there you have. pizza here you have you have like New. York's original [ __ ] and you have all. that stuff and you're like yeah [ __ ]. pizza's still pizza at the end of the. day it's not gonna wow me the way that. like but there's a difference between. Little Caesars and that of course okay.

good but that's like anything I just. think they hype up pizza so much you're. like it's not gonna make me go [ __ ] dude. not like a a chateaubriand one of these. like crazy dishes where you're like [ __ ]. what had to go into that was insane to. make it perfect you know what why don't. you you make a pizza and then prove your. point fine would love to and it better. be good dude I'm a pizza guy it's gonna. be good. I'm gonna make you a very good pizza you. have one of those wood-fired ovens no. but I'll go get one for you you would. for this show I'll make one.

let you should put one at your house you. have a nice your backyard could actually. have one of those but there's a one that. they have on the [ __ ] thing is. um they had one on a Korean lady in. Minnesota. yeah and she puts kimchi on hers no no. see this is my problem with pizza oh. well this is what that's why I start. putting all this [ __ ] on why it's. not pizza if there's mozzarella and some. kimchi is that good it does not belong. on there at all how do you know because. I know. because ancestrally it just doesn't it. has no business on that [ __ ].

and she looks sweet but I'm not eating. that [ __ ]. I'm not eating pizza so if I went to. Minnesota and I think one of our pizzas. place is called Lola and I go I made. reservations I'm going to Minnesota. tomorrow. will you go I will and have a kimchi. Pizza okay are you going tomorrow right. I am going tomorrow morning yeah and. you're doing the club there I'm going to. Minneapolis yeah I'm doing a theater. there yeah so go to Lola out well when. this is out I've already done it but. yeah yeah but yeah and then we'll get. the review okay that's fine you get a. pizza with kimchi on I'm gonna put it in. my phone right now now I'm gonna go you.

don't go then you're a coward I swear to. God I'll go all right what do I [ __ ]. care I'll go to but here's the deal I. just don't have time I just don't like. these experimental pizzas the show was. great by the way I was being physician I. ask you some questions what doesn't. belong then go ahead I went to a place. the other night. um what's it called Lola he's yeah hers. is called Lola Lola Pizzeria yeah I went. to a um pizza place last night and they. had honey on it is that wrong. cheese and honey just cheese and honey. cheese honey and some sort of uh super. success now or some sort of weird.

um. now we're gonna ask you some [ __ ]. ingredients you tell me if that's easy. I'll go fast okay go right [ __ ] honey. no wow chives. no no artichoke. no. wow. um. bacon like bacon from the yeah. I'll go again so bacon egg no.

they've had pizza on egg yeah they do. yeah anchovy no. any kind of fish no [ __ ] no no any kind. of fish nope right no fish how about. salmon Row the egg get the [ __ ] out of. here I will go back to your country. I love it I love it no how about this. instead of. um tomato sauce Chutney get [ __ ] it's. not me doing it get hit by a bus and get. [ __ ] it's a guy don't get it it's a. [ __ ] It's gotta be tomato sauce it has.

to be 100 what about pesto sauce get the. [ __ ] up get hit by bus get hit by two. buses yeah okay what about. um this isn't the rules of pizza this is. the rules of Andrew Santino's Pizza okay. so the rules of pizza are vague I've. watched the pizza show yeah and they go. back and forth on what is actually a. pizza what considers a pizza what's. allowed to be on it it's it's it's. endless it's an endless argument okay. Pizza historians have watched that show. and it was like one party says this one. person says this Roman Pizza versus. other Pizza is different people have.

different rules Andrew's Pizza yeah. [ __ ] no way anchovies get [ __ ]. pesto sauce. [ __ ] yourself you're allowed to have. these how about this we'll do that yeah. why do we do that I think that's a. better game cheese. what kind can I use American almost any. kind of oh that's interesting I've never. had an american cheese pizza but you. know why it wouldn't work I'd be down to. try. really but not [ __ ] artichoke no. artichoke belongs on so many other. things not on a pizza fine let's move on. cheese basil sausage Peppers pineapples.

[ __ ] you hey you get the [ __ ] out of the. [ __ ] out of town pal with the [ __ ]. Pineapple pineapple [ __ ] you [ __ ]. Hawaiians you don't keep you so you. don't eat Hawaiian pizza it's not real. pizza that's Domino's Pizza okay. Hawaiian pizza's Domino stuff that's why. that's why trash Pizza okay so pepperoni. sausage pepper mushroom yeah of course. mushrooms belong in there mushrooms are. delicious what if I use shiitake. mushrooms I'm in love I ate shiitake. last night for dinner whatever those. other emotions that are like look like a.

little white sticks and with the little. Asian Japanese ones what are they called. that they put in um Ramen yeah yeah get. the [ __ ] out of here I knew it how about. this how about truffle. oil a little bit of truff oil is okay. thinly sliced truffle. maybe. all right yeah yeah I got you okay but. but okay but very hot but it's very lit. it's done very limited and very limited. very liberal limited edition.

sausage pepperoni pancetta's okay bacon. is okay okay meats are cool oh any meat. chicken has no business on a pizza lamb. where am I Greece I'm eating it. it's a dependent no no I just I say I. think I think it's got to be a red meat. to be on the pizza like a bison that's. red meat yeah but I've never had bison. pizza but I'll try it really so you're. not opposed to it I'm not opposed to it. but this guy got It's gotta be [ __ ]. amazing bison okay but like chicken like.

those barbecue chicken pizzas nothing. from the sea. like a scallop Pizza yeah like a lobster. but go back to China. Lobster Pizza no yeah yeah [ __ ] no Pizza. Pizza has to be simple. so all the [ __ ] on it doesn't take away. from how good the pizza is yeah that's. the point of pizza when people put your. heart is closed though do you understand. oh it's clogged from all that meat the. point is is that like in Japan right. guess what with the number one ramen. place was for a while there Ivan Ramen.

some Jewish guy from New York went to. Japan. I'll start one a Pluto's Pig a poodle is. one of their biggest I know but Ivan. Ramen became a hit and Japanese people. went you know what you know what I've. did the accident you know what right I. try so this guy the Jewish guy moves. there makes the best ramen in Japan this. guy that dude does he speak Japanese no. and you know what you know what he used. in there huh something that they would. never use tomato.

what what kind of tomato and a Ramen. what is tomato raw tomato he would just. cook in tomatoes and that was a thing. that they never get out of here I. haven't no but that's not the Japanese. the Japanese are gonna get the [ __ ] out. of here right Ivan the Japanese goes let. me try some of them yeah but you're not. one of those guys you're like get the. [ __ ] I'm OG Japanese I'm old school. Japanese right so if you were the. emperor of Japan kill him I would catch. him killed you would I'd have him killed. immediately well I'm just trying to make. ramen kill him.

that he's hanging I'm sneaking the. little tomato Ramen I'm just like it's. pretty good oh all right all right so. good I just think Pizza needs to fancy. was shaking his head Pizza needs to be. low-key simple it can't take away from. the I actually don't like a lot of. toppings I think Pizza should be very. low-key you like Margaret I put a lot of. [ __ ] in Americans put too much [ __ ] on. Pizza yeah no Margarita is delicious. what about this let me ask you another. question how did you do like one thing. is fine can I ask you another question. about people by the way basil.

so I saw another one of those Chef's. tables yeah where the guy did this he. reversed cooked it I just hear me out. I'm already pissed off. I don't even know what it said yes. normally you know you make the dough. flatten it out right yeah you put the. tomato sauce on it sure right and then. you put the stuffed cheese and then you. put it in the oven that's not what this. guy did right you know what he did oh. okay so he he [ __ ] puts the dough. down got it puts the cheese no tomato. sauce. puts it in the oven takes it out then.

puts sauce on and puts fresh sauce on. okay I'm okay because the cheese cooked. a little bit it makes the sauce much. fresher I'm okay this is okay so you. don't care about like the order is fine. the order can change the order can. change yes but it's got to still be this. this simple ingredients right you know. if you want to but also cooking cheese. on bread yeah. give me some more of that yeah you can. cook more as much cheese on bread as you. [ __ ] want with my house yeah I put so. much cheese on stuff it's disco it's. repulsive because I went to a place like. last night called Roberto's it's a new.

pizza there's one it started in Brooklyn. yeah and they have one over there by the. air one now right it's called Roberto's. Roberta's pizza yeah the good I've been. there two nights because I've been. watching so I've been watching I've been. watching the chef's table as soon as you. get on a show you're gonna go do it yeah. yeah so once I so I've just been going. to a pizza every meal's been a pizza. really yeah once I watch a show like if. I saw a show on like. bison meat you're going you're going. that's all I mean you're going to. Colorado and you bison I mean that's all. I'm eating right so then go ahead so. anyway.

um so I was watching so there I was and. I was there and I was going they had a. thing in there that I'm like what is. this and it's stretched mozzarella on. the side delicious with oil delicious. and then like a puffy bread. a doe that they cook and a side of. anchovies. okay right yeah and I get this I don't. I've never seen it before I don't know. what goes first how to do it so I just. pulled the bread up I put some cheese on. it and put some anchovy and I ate it. good good good.

[Laughter]. I mean it sounds good I'm okay with. eating it like that but that's not a. pizza. I'm just saying that once I had the hand. show of anchovy I'm like oh this is an. element that maybe the Italians back in. the day sure disregarded and I think. that you know I bet they used it you. have to open your mind. I just don't want to. that's how we both all right all right. that's how I feel about food and people. and things I know what I like but when.

we did the hamburger thing you were open. to that would you see. that's because. and what was that what was on that. hamburger crazy [ __ ] great jizz yeah. there was chiss on that hamburger yeah. so why aren't you open to [ __ ] new. pizza. I don't know it's something about pizza. that means something to me all right. it's just it's because it was a kid all. right pizza it just changed my life I. don't know it just it was my whole. childhood was eating pizza so I loved it. have you been to apollonius I love.

apples do you know about apollonia's. Pizzeria seriously oh where's that at oh. my God that's like one of the most. famous pizza spots in L.A yeah it got. all it got a lot it gets a lot of hype. very very good it's down on like it's. off of Highlander La Brea they're open. for like six hours a day max they're. open like three hours in the morning. three hours in the afternoon when. they're out of pizza they're closed it's. in that little strip mall look at that. photo of it too the third photo in or. something like that. fourth photo maybe no no go to. apollonia's pizzeria. uh. this is strip mall is on [ __ ] La Brea. or some [ __ ] yeah look at that right.

there look at that that's it yeah man. wow it's like one of the highest ranked. pizzas in Los Angeles County it's insane. they're never open is it better than. Hollywood Pizza on Pico. I don't know welcome back to the Food. Show. cars right from your phone and have your. next ride delivered straight to you. here's what's so great about vroom you. know I'm a car guy I love cars and I. hate going to car dealerships they're. terrible. it's so annoying right and this way you.

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remember the story no oh yeah you do. what when we brought your family out oh. see he comes from the Philippines the. first time in L.A. and I go you know what. I'm gonna be. the guy the tour guide and I'm gonna. give them tastes and sounds and sights. that they've never seen that's kind of. nice right yeah anyway we go to. um. that place in Echo Park that does deep. dish what's it called Masa have you been.

there like it yeah pretty good yeah. so remember you and your mom and. everyone went to Masa I got two deep. dish pizzas. and I look across the table and what are. you guys doing. eating. it's because we haven't tried that and. we're usually used to like just to think. Birds they're used to eating eggs bird. eggs do they have any bird eggs there. yeah yeah that's crazy that you did and. they didn't eat any of it and I saw one.

of them just poke one with like it was. alive with a four like I don't know it's. too thick it's too what yeah you eat one. piece and you're fine yeah it's. delicious it's delicious I prefer thin. no no yeah no no it's good yeah thin is. great I get you can eat thin more often. but it you just should try that also. it's like when you go to a different. country and and you gotta do it and case. you you have to eat even if he's like. these are elephant testicles you gotta. try you gotta try it you're in his. homeland yeah so if I tell you to eat.

bird egg. if I was in the Philippines I would do. what as the locals I mean that's the. reason why he's never been to the. Philippines correct he's not gonna do it. that's part of it yeah right you just. choose not to go there and I'm afraid of. [ __ ] one of those ladyboys because I. know I'm gonna love it you know Andreas. and I are going Monday were you going. Monday yep yeah he's gone me and Andreas. are going to [ __ ] in the Philippines. Monday I'm so excited and you're gonna. eat egg bird egg absolutely not.

just try once yeah for the show. do you care about this job yes well then. do it for the show I guess so see he'll. do it make him do it while you're there. they should put a Roe versus Wade for. [ __ ] duck eggs. I know in the Philippines this is. article which side are you on I don't. know which side is that rower is that. way. I can't I have no idea I can't no. because you know that's insane to look. at insane to look at it's just. absolutely disgusting look at this.

picking up its head Jesus [ __ ] Jesus. Christ it's insane and you literally. would eat one right now right yeah. that's insane to me but deep dish pizza. yeah bird heads fine fine yeah yeah. pizza sauce tomatoes it's amazing I have. something to tell you though what. I followed your lead I cut I'm I cut. porn I'm done no more porn no why swear. to God why I'm getting sober on porn. why because I just don't I don't think. it's good it's not and I find myself.

going to it sometimes I'm like I'm not. even gonna jerk off why am I looking at. this [ __ ] yeah sometimes I'll look at it. without intent to jerk off like I just. want to see what's on there so I'm gonna. I'm cutting it out when it was when's. the first time four days clean four days. I'm clean really well why don't should I. you know do a pack I would love to do it. together all right so I did it last. night okay so day one no do it tonight. what do you mean start again yes so. should I watch it right now and then. start again tonight no because I'll. watch it tonight again and start at zero. let's do that so because I was planning.

on watching it tonight I want to jerk. off tonight so I would like to start off. all right all right so let's start from. zero tonight great so tonight at. midnight the last last time last time. last time 11 59 yeah if you watch it at. midnight you've broken it right okay can. I ask you this too what are the rules no. porn. I know but in terms of if you break it. will you text me right away I promise. you we'll call we'll have to call I have. to I have to do the same thing so what's. on the line nothing a thousand dollars. no yeah let's see who lasts longer.

thousand dollars cash we have to show it. on the show. and the thousand dollars goes to. something good. we have to give it to somebody. we'll pick where it goes can I think no. no I haven't agreed yet no you said yes. did I say yes 500 a thousand a thousand. done and it goes to someone good or. something good yeah done. charity it's gonna be for charity why. can't I just keep it. that's not that doesn't work because. that's not part of the pleasure all. right all right because knowing that I. can take your money and give it to.

someone else is great to me I feel like. you're gonna win this but we have to be. 100 honest I am all right I have a. question okay please when you go to porn. do you ever search gay porn. Bobby no I have a dog why what is your. problem she's just asking a question no. I don't like it oh it seems like a value. it's like a [ __ ] no good for girls. they do so I was curious do I Google do. I search for specific things you know. what actually do I search gay porn I do.

women and women women gay porn yeah well. guys. with women guys guys with women who are. lesbians yes this guy and guy just one. guy with one guy. was there a girl in the building no just. two guys there's a girl filming it yeah. yeah like like a boom operator. is there one check out with tits that's. just yeah no never a guy never guy have. you clicked on have you clicked on. anything unique like like transporn or. something I don't want to talk about. that right now so you can if you want if.

you say it if you if you have have I. seen transporn have you clicked on it. you see it I know you scroll through it. it's like have I watched it so look. other categories there's like teen. there's like. um there's uh old man porn which we know. you love then there's like Mass solo. masturbation videos then there's like. couples one so you've seen trans. and there's transport and you click on. it there's one let me just defend myself. it's not there's nothing to defend I'm. not even defending it's fine it's. totally fine I mean Dave Chappelle. wouldn't like it but it's fine I know so.

um there's this I don't generally like. them but there's this one video I have. saved on one of the porn sites that I. saved it what I favored it wow and put. in a playlist never done that yeah why I. have I figure when it's over it's over. and I always when I look at my favorite. playlist it's in the corner right hand. always going hey Bob yeah and I never. click on it but I know it's there what. is it it's this because when I first. clicked on it she was a beautiful girl. she's probably still is yeah I know okay.

right and it was it's it's the first. um how do you call it. transhuman trans person person yeah. person is a person beautiful trans. person sure that looks the most I did. like most they look like. a woman yeah no but like there's just I. know what you're saying like sometimes. when you see you'll see an Adam's apple. you mean on the girl right and you go. that scene but you believe that this. trend from the waist up I would probably.

put billion dollars it's not okay what. okay do you know the name of the point I. don't know I think you do I don't. someone tells me that you see it all the. time exactly what I feel like I can tell. you what's her name I don't know the. name I bet you do because I don't know. the language it's spoken in okay so it's. there and you haven't watched it or you. do definitely watch it. sinner. how many times be real in my lifetime I. think I I put it in my um playlist why. are you afraid to click on it I don't. understand because you save it obviously. you want it.

you're like a fat person that like hides. cookies but you know you're gonna eat. them at some point. that like hides booze there's like who. this is gone forever it's like just dump. it out then. no it's like having. um it's the comfort of being near. no you know it's in the house you know. when you flip up that computer screen. it's always going to be there comforting. you knowing I'm always here if you want. to click me no it's like like X-Men. go on right you know it's like you know. why is Wolverine hanging out he's so you.

know I mean he's just somebody you want. to keep around. and things get like rough it's like. X-Men yeah because she used to be a man. no that's not what I'm saying it's X-Men. no. it's X-Men X people X-Man woman no what. I'm saying is is that you know if I was. like Xavier Dr X got it right you know. you know um we'll read this very like. you know I mean. do you feel like you just want to tell. me you like transport and you're afraid. to say it I'm trying to find out an.

analogy you don't need to I want to. it's better for me let's here I'll go I. have one I have an analogy for have you. done it I have an analogy for you have. you done it the way that I. hate. pineapple on Pizza yeah the strength I. have for it yeah is the way that you. love transporn. right I hate it pineapple as much as you. love transport that's not true it's not. the same thing no it's not absolutely. not it is because I'm saying I just. figured out what I'm saying I'm saying. is it's not that big of a deal when I. open up and stuff it's not going to end.

my life to Pineapple open up and I say. we have you though let me ask you yes. I've eaten pineapple with Pizza on it. with pizza pineapple I've had that I. have seen the transporn I've had pizza. with pineapple on it good that's all I. wanted. don't get it can I understand okay no no. can I tell you if we're being honest. yeah I. I clicked on a video yeah did not know. it was that uh-huh okay saw it. saw some of it that was that yeah I. never come.

I tell you what no that's a guaranteed I. was about to come Bobby just listen to. what I'm saying please did you come I. didn't I what'd I do I switched to it. quickly get away from it then come to. something else so you will masturbate to. it but then you if you're gonna come to. a point I'll just switch to a [ __ ]. Christian one it's okay to admit this. yeah yeah yeah that's right yeah quickly. yeah yeah I've never seen one. but I did want to be I just want to. debate you a little yeah I know I know. it's okay but can I be honest yeah I've. seen the categories there and I there's. nothing there's something inside me that.

goes see what it's like just for. exploration you've seen it I haven't. clicked on it yet yes you have I promise. I haven't I'm telling you as a friend. really I haven't watched one but I do. think why don't I click on that who. can't why not let me see because you. know what I have seen what. uh OverWatch porn where the girls have. penises. you know OverWatch you know what. OverWatch is the game OverWatch yeah. yeah they have like tons of OverWatch. porno all over the Internet and you've. seen. well in that in the animation they have. the girls have penises in OverWatch yeah. yeah you know this don't you Rudy.

and like you know what OverWatch is I. don't OverWatch OverWatch porn yeah it's. a lot of like chicks it's a lot of. chicks chicks penis and stuff. that's cool so I've seen that before. does that count no no well actually. doesn't well I tried to be I look dude I. try to join your thing yeah it's not a. thing it's just one video from three. [ __ ] years ago man you still got in. your favorites I said I'm gonna delete. it don't that's insane how insensitive. yeah I'll put in a different [ __ ]. playlist a new one just a special.

playlist don't watch this anymore yeah. yeah stop watching Naughty Boy naughty. list that's on the naughty list yeah. yeah can I show you guys one thing yeah. go ahead new comedy special that I don't. think you guys have seen yet and it's. gonna blow your mind oh my God okay. they're gonna piss me off. [Music]. in the belly room huh.

so sick. first. Lee brother to put out a special that's. great that's a special I've done stand. up on the spot 10 times no but he's. making it a special you never said it. was a special oh is that is that what it. is. you think that was supposed to burn me. or hurt me it's my brother I think. Jeremiah did it to take a shot at you. well he has been texting me a lot lately. now no Jeremiah.

you asked me hey what are you gonna do. scissor Brothers in my podcast I go I'll. get back no. never again never wow never around the. [ __ ] around. why don't you call Jeremiah right now. and say I'll never do your podcast I. will yeah this will be good you want to. [ __ ] around [ __ ] around you want to [ __ ]. hey start with that say you want to [ __ ]. around yeah yeah I'm down to [ __ ] around. yeah yeah. and say Bob say you think uh you think I. Don't Dance with the Devil I got a.

[ __ ] transporn video I've saved for. 30 years don't say that. hello you like to [ __ ] around. what do you mean man I like to [ __ ]. around too what do you mean dog you know. you like to [ __ ] around with the fire. and sometimes people get burned you like. to [ __ ] touch a sleeping Dragon. sometimes they wake up I mean you like. to do things to provoke and sometimes. there's Revenge. what are you talking about I saw the.

[ __ ] video you did. Stevie leaves for special try rubbing my. face. [Music]. dude I think he got funding from a. studio that's great that's good you know. what guess what check yeah. what's up. no okay. okay guess what pal. ready yeah no. no what no I'm not gonna do scissor. Brothers then yours other one.

oh well yeah say it again well you. didn't respond so this is good to get it. in real time no I was going to respond. that was. nah I don't think so anyway um. burned them dude. [ __ ] burned that guy that's what he. gets dude he [ __ ] with Bobby Lee that's. what he gets man.

damn dude what a [ __ ] guy huh you. want to play with you want to play with. the guy you said you want to wake a. sleeping Dragon yeah. all right by the way the sleeping Dragon. should have been your nickname slept. king is not as good as sleeping Dragon. so sick oh good that's a merch shirt. sleeping Dragon anyway don't [ __ ] with. the sleeping Dragon you're gonna get. burned you are the dragon's gonna wake. up and he's gonna. yeah I know I just said that man and his. tail and his tail is gonna really know.

the analogy though you know and his tail. is gonna kill your kid why do you keep. bringing his careless kid no his kids is. great just kill it it's not that big of. a deal to kill this kid all right steal. the kid and then give it to Rudy and see. what happens yeah yeah he dies that's. exactly what I'm talking about you're. gonna kill a kid will you kill a kid for. me yeah yeah dude I love her. she's down to kill a kid what's the. oldest kid you'll kill like how old is. too old you're like I can't kill after a. certain age. too old yeah oh is there no age you'll. kill a human no matter how old they are.

that's not true love it you hold so many. [ __ ] babies. and you love them be honest but wipe it. but white babies have you held white. babies. um no see different story this is a. white baby. that's true a white demon right. dude a future insurrectionist right yeah. January 7th comes every year man we can. always return we can always go back. you know if there was a baby right there. I'll be honest.

and that thing was on fire would you. grab it. you would I would would you. I think I'd let other people do it yeah. right she'd go help this baby no you. wouldn't you'd grab it no you would. you're a good girl you're a good person. but if that same baby was across the. street in an apartment building three. stories up and it was on fire would you. get it. to be real is anybody watching the. mother's like my baby's up here can you.

help would you do it in fact you get up. there what is your baby she has no leg. no leg or legs legs no legs yeah so is. she in a wheelchair on the ground she's. rolled up to you in a [ __ ] makeshift. [ __ ] thing oh and she's like my. baby's up I think he's up there and like. how did you go is there a secret. elevator that used as you dropped down. yeah yeah how do you get up there and. she's like no I I you know there. somebody got me down my wheelchair got. stolen yeah and now what how do I what. would you do would you run up there I'd. run away she's not gonna be able to. chase me I know.

I think about those things at night help. saving saving people no like I want like. if the baby is next to me I like this is. the scenario I think about babies all. the time yeah these are the scenarios I. think about at late at night yeah so I. go would I and I go I would grab it if. it was just right next to me but why. wouldn't I go in a burning building I. feel like I would die. in a birding building yeah yeah well the. likelihood is high yeah something would. fall on you I don't know how to get in. three stories up smoke inhalation you'd. get trapped you get trapped yeah there's. so many different things that can happen. but if it was my baby would I do it I.

think so. I don't know I don't know yeah I don't. know yeah I don't think so I don't know. it really depends your baby. yeah. I don't know I don't know I don't know. why you're so hot yeah your wife would. have to she has legs get up there yeah. how about this though this is real yeah. this is a real real question yeah no. jokey. someone is getting when we were in New. York right we were there on the subway. someone's getting robbed.

you gonna help it depends on what the. rubber looks like. what do you mean. well I have to size up like if it's. bigger than you if it's a dwarf yeah I'd. help okay it's a it's a it's a it's a. woman but she's bigger than much bigger. than you and does she see me oh yeah. oh it might be hinder or does she does. see me she sees you you're sitting. you're sitting down right there she's. robbing somebody she I'm sitting here. she has a knife some guy a knife she has. a knife yeah yeah not a gun not she has. a knife I would take her down you would.

oh jump on her back you would put her in. rear nickname and what if she just stabs. you right over right over the back of. her if I'm like this. yeah and here's her arm and she just. stabs you right in the face. you're really gonna help someone if. they're getting robbed yeah but those. are not thoughts in your head that you. know I mean it's a instinctual. spontaneous like someone getting robbed. I'm turning the other way. I put my wallet on the ground I go go. ahead. take it I'm not willing to get stabbed. in the [ __ ] face I watch enough of.

these prison videos no thanks but if the. person being robbed is a hot chick I. would probably do it in hopes that. something and she's like thank you so. much my boyfriend my boyfriend is gonna. absolutely love you yeah yeah oh by the. way thanks for bringing that up. you girls going you know when you drug. message me and go hey I don't know if. you see these this direct message but. can you tell Theo I've been direct. messaging him like it I you've I've. gotten some from you other guy comics.

okay I'm not a comedy pimp all right. maybe they think I'm not going to relay. any of your messages well maybe this. could be their your future I don't give. a [ __ ] man I'm not doing it right in. fact for me. I respond can I tell you though what you. would be great as a little pimp. okay A little pimp is great look at yeah. see yeah yeah you got the attitude. why a lot of women have said can you. relate this to Theo other guys too do. you know Krista Stefan all these guys.

want you to tell girls girls I wanna. I've been trying to I want to date him I. want to [ __ ] no all right and those. go no offense and then we think you're. they always go no offense we think. you're funny. to me like it's gonna hurt my feelings. but everybody wants to [ __ ] you you're. the most [ __ ] guy in the world right. now. you're super [ __ ] right now free. little bird I'm a free bird what do you. think about Tito Bobby starting to if he. wants to date other people what's going. are you happy for him yeah if he wants. to do you get approval.

I don't care you don't give a [ __ ] who. it is. same age as. you're to hold you 20. yeah so it's got. to be older than 20. if I dated a 20. year old that would be weird why. because we're the same age what if he. wants a 24 year old. half his age. plus two. I guess okay 24. okay so 23 is fine then. no 24 24. there's a bunch of college kids in the.

other room by the way yeah but they're. 20. how old are the college kids. 21 how old's the oldest one 22. so all. these kids that you brought they're only. here for a little bit longer I keep. saying kids but they're young adults. right right they're they're I shouldn't. belittle them but they're all the. youngest one is 21. yes so they're all. grown-ups they could all enter the. workforce and do whatever what do they. want to do they all want to be in film. right yeah in different parts of the. industry do any of them have a future be. honest they're not listening. I don't think so right yeah I could tell.

when I walked by some of them no no no. they do they do they have a future you. want to bring one see if one of them. will come in here and say hi. okay who do we bring in. will you put the headphones I don't know. you want the headphones yeah they're. right there. what's your name. keep talking to the mic Madison Madison. are you white I am white yeah yeah hold. on let Pete sit down for you. are you nervous Madison a little bit.

it's fine you're gonna be great. slimes it's a really good vibe. Madison uh Bobby wanted to know if. you're white good starter question I. will have to know you can't assume these. days what do you think she might be. she could be native but. native white albino yeah like original. white you mean like English. yeah yeah old school white old-school. white right yeah. um are you English German and polish and. what part of town did you grow up in on. what city I'm from Connecticut wow so. it's a lot of trees yeah yeah yeah sure.

Connecticut's beautiful have you ever. been to Connecticut Hartford oh yeah the. funny bone yeah yeah I get that yeah. that's not really Connecticut but that. club had me once and they never had me. back you don't want to go back do you. not really hartford's not a great place. no no you don't that's not a that's not. a damn I gotta get back to Hartford yeah. yeah yeah no but if you talk about. Greenwich are you from Greenwich no. you're from fancy people right I'm near. like New Haven oh New Haven's okay is. that where Brent from Lauren yeah he is. yeah yeah we know we know a white guy. from there yeah yeah he's a good white. guy too so did you see any Browns or.

Asians growing up at all like this like. this girl next to you did you see this. kind of um tree you guys used to throw. rocks at that right if you saw the Rocks. like get it down get it down hurt it. no no my town was pretty diverse I'd say. oh really. okay you would say she's like tall. people short people Korean friend you. had in high school Rachel Moon whoa. that's pretty fast and moon is a cool. last name yeah right Rachel adopted a. real Korean real Korean did you ever go. to Rachel's house no no what kind of.

friend. we were friends yeah but not like we. came to my house actually. Koreans do that they go to other. people's houses yeah that's kind of part. of their agenda so Rachel Moon you. narrowed okay so uh what about a. Filipino friend Filipino no no and even. if she had one she wouldn't admit it. yeah why because you're bad people. no I can't think of no there's no Phil. I'm kidding Rudy we love you there's no. Filipinos at all get up to Connecticut. how do they get up there. how would they get up there climb.

you go north you go upwards East Side. very good all right so what do you want. to do in the business Madison. what do you want to do in the business. um right now I'm working at a as a. digital marketing intern at a music uh. record label and do you have money like. in your your parents give you money do. you have money. what is that what do you mean because. let me ask let me just clarify may I. clarify yeah. I'm 20. I'm working.

um at a record label as an intern as an. intern i there's half eaten sandwiches. you're asking how does she get any money. to do anything like how do I make like. can you go to Chipotle. yeah like so the money where'd you get. the money from a job only fans that's. what all these kids are doing what do. you think all these kids are doing these. days that entire room isn't only fans. club oh that's true I had a part-time. job back in Canada and you saved and I. saved right because I've known I've been. wanting to come out here for some time. what do you think of La so far it's been.

like three weeks and it's all right well. tell me the negative. I just think East Coast is the more. Superior Cove I don't know I I don't. know why why why why why why. I guess I am biased yeah it's ingrained. into her brain well the weather's better. no the weather here the heat wave though. was ridiculous oh it was too hot. 110. it was crazy it was too warm in. here yeah well it's gonna be negative.

four in [ __ ] December in Connecticut. so yeah give us a call and we'll our. dancers are brutal so you're right the. east coast is probably we have prettier. people. would you say or no. I feel like it's so it's hard I know but. if we if we took the top the top five. the top 20 best looking people in La. compared to the top 20 best people in in. Hartford Connecticut right who would win. that well New York would beat us for. sure we didn't say New York you're right. okay you said Connecticut I say [ __ ].

Connecticut well we're gonna lump. yourself up with [ __ ] New York okay. that's not fair I would probably say L.A. then but they do they do they are new. she she is New York she says New York I. bet you if somebody's where you're from. or whatever she had New York and well. Connecticut but New York yeah I say. Connecticut because then I'm like oh I'm. near Yale and they're like oh oh that's. nice but most Connecticut kids uh say. they're like New York kids but they. could be it as in smarts I think brains. yeah we don't care about brains it's. obsolete yeah yeah dude this is my brain. people pop poop I have one of these I.

don't need a [ __ ] this what is this. yeah mush how about this we're in. restaurants. okay restaurants we haven't really gone. out to like too much here but like you. guys were talking about pizza and we are. like the pizza Capital they are yeah New. Haven Connecticut we have Michelin star. restaurants in L.A no no but they are. the pizza we are the pizza ironically. enough they are probably like well. Hartford no no New Haven is like pizza. capital of the United States no it is it. is it is it is all right I'll give her. that it's a little bit [ __ ] Pizza. really.

really but they don't but Connecticut. beats us and nothing else yeah literally. nothing they have pizza and nice people. Madison uh you're 21 yes Madison is. ready to enter the workforce you have a. boyfriend Madison I don't why. I don't know because she doesn't need. one but do you want one or you just. focus on your career and your dreams. right now career really it's like I. would rather just kind of like naturally. happen well there's a guy out there. what's his name. what's his name Cody's like our brother. you don't even know if she wants to date. both you don't know what she likes when.

they like them they always say they're. my brother all right oh yeah yeah do you. like boy do you like boys is boys your. go-to or no yeah you never know I know. Cody's cute Cody is very yeah he's very. cute yeah very cute but it's her brother. you know it's her it's he's just like my. stepbrother you know. yeah don't do laundry around him. don't get stuck under a bed or something. well I'll tell you what Madison we wish. you the most luck in the world what do. you want to wish you a merry Christmas. thank you thank you what are you trying.

to do in the business again did. digital marketing digital marketing I. bet you can do it when you do end up if. you ever because we we need a better. social media presence don't you think we. need any of them we needed a general in. general yeah maybe you could in a couple. years you can help us I'll come right. back you will you'll never move to L.A. she'll move to New York if anything are. you kidding me she's and she's gonna go. from Quinnipiac to uh she's gonna live. in let me guess she'll probably move to. I want to say Brooklyn but I think I'm. going to actually say Queens she'll. probably move to Queens. um.

and she will have a job in Manhattan. um and uh. she'll get uh murdered on the L train. one day no no no no no no okay I I you. know I I you know I have psychic powers. I do. yeah he does I just need to okay. I know. you're gonna meet a man. he's gonna be a millionaire I I hope. right how many millions one two no he's. gonna 12 to 15 million if you liquid. fight everything wow if you sold all the.

boats and everything he is 90. he's 90. yeah but you never have sex. with them okay right positive that's. very positive that sounds great what. sucks though is that when you meet him. he's 90. and you think you think to. yourself. right he's living He Lives to 160. whoa. yeah he's the first guy any and he. signed a binding marriage contract yeah. you have to stay with them to the end or. they're allowed to kill you but you can. get side dick sure that's good yeah do.

your thing yeah yeah so that's your. future do you feel good about it. reach out to you guys if it happens in. my future God bless I hope it does. you have something my sidekick yeah yeah. [Music]. um.

whoa oh [ __ ] I saw it holy I saw the. vision go in your head Madison this is. crazy. all right hit it. you're murdered in Los Angeles by fancy. B. oh that was when we yeah that's what I. got wait a minute that's you look like a. nine-year-old man in my vision it was. him it was actually you oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ]. it too yeah yeah be careful watch watch.

you're gonna have a great career and a. great life and uh we wish you the best. wish you a Merry Christmas thanks for. coming to my show hope that you found it. entertaining it was yes um good did you. like a standout. he's great and thank you for wearing the. bad friend's tie-dye by the way that's. very cool um we do want that back you do. have to leave that before you leave. um okay okay so looking looking uh you. can look in the camera there and you. take us out all right thank you for. being a bad friend very good sweet. Madison that's so nice thank you Madison.

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