#ABtalks with Hannah El Zahed | Chapter 221 | مع هنا الزاهد

-Are you ready? -Yes, I'm! -Are all of you ready? -Shall I do that? -Hello, Hana. -Hello, Anas. -Here we are, finally meeting. -Yes, finally. -And you are sitting on my favourite chair! -Your favourite side. -Yes, my favourite side! -The most important thing is to be comfortable. -Thank God! -Of course we start with... Honestly, how are you doing? -Thank God, I'm very well.

Thank God. -What do you mean by saying that you are very well? -I mean... I have been better than before for a while!... During this period... I haven't been happy like that for a while. I'm very happy during this period. -For how long you haven't been happy? -For a year? -Yes, a year maybe! Or a year and a half. I was upset and sad. -For a year and a half! -Yes. But I'm happy now, thank God.

That's why I'm saying that I'm okay. -How have you become better? -By myself. -What do you mean? -I mean... I focused so much on myself during this period, on my family, my siblings, and my mother... They are... the reason I'm happy. And also focused on my work. I'm really happy about my work, this is one of the best periods regarding my work. ... That's why I'm happy. -How happy are you on a scale from 1 to 10? -I'm happy but there is something missing!

So we can say 8. -What's missing? -I mean... -It's not necessary. -Love? But do you love the existing of love in your life or it's unnecessary? -No, I love the existing of love so much. It's the thing that always gives me passion. -Did you... try... Can I say your age or not? -It's okay. -Okay. -You are 31 or 30? -Yes, 31. -Okay. -I have just turned 31. -During 31 years, have you experienced healthy love?

Healthy love. -During the 31 years? I thought it was healthy... But I discovered that it wasn't healthy! -It's hard right? -Yes. -Even when I think with myself, I say... Was it healthy or not? -Toxic love is as clear as day! -Yes. -No one disagrees with that regarding toxic love... -But sometimes, it's not that clear. -True. -But you don't know that. -But sometimes, you feel that... it's the healthy love...

and that I'm happy and then you feel that... things happen and then you it's not the perfect love for you. I love love itself. The idea of love. So, no. Back then, I thought it was healthy but now, when I think about it, I know it wasn't. -Is that what made you sad for a year and a half? -No, I was sad for a year and a half because I was going through... ups and downs, and my life was changing. So, I was sad.

I am a very routine-oriented person. -Okay. -Capricorn is very routine-oriented. I love my belongings so much, I love order, and I don't like to change anything! So, when a whole life changes... I feel that I'm... shocked! Do you know that feeling? Like being shocked that I won't sleep in a specific place, got it? For example, when it comes to sleeping, I have to sleep in a particular place and I can't change it! Even in hotels, I sleep on the right side. -I can't sleep on the left side. -I'm the same. -Really? I can't do that!

-There must be air conditioner, -sound, -Yes. and the bed must be on the side. -Yes! In hotels, I have to sleep on the side I'm used to sleeping on... and not on the other side. So, when life changes, it shocks you. Maybe it's for better but it's still a shock. -Because the person doesn't like change, Hana. The nature of humans doesn't like change. That's why some people can say that you have changed towards them... No one likes change... Even the environment... If you changed your school... -It's hard for the person. -I changed my school and returned to it after four months.

I didn't even complete the whole term. mom told me that I won't continue in the new one. and I returned to my old school. It's hard for me to change things I'm used to! I'm a person who belongs to... the things that is related to me. I can't change it easily! -How long has it been since you got divorced? -In... -We are in 2025. -At the end of 2023. -That happened with the change of the attitude of life. -Yes, all changed. -And now, do you feel that you have finally moved on?

-Yes, thank God. -I call it "loss after a divorce". -Because if the marriage isn't healthy... -In the beginning... -or unhappy... no matter how much there is companionship... -It's hard for a person to establish a new routine. -Yes, of course! -There were good days in marriage also... but for sure... -You got past that? -Yes, I did. -Thank God. -It's the best period in my life. -Thank God. -I didn't know that I could get past that but I did it!

-It's surprising what time does. -Yes. -Things we never thought we would overcome, but we did. -Yes, and I thought that life has stopped... I thought that my has life stopped and... Not because of love but because of life overall. Life has stopped! But I found that life is continuing, everything is normal, and a lot of good things happening... In general in your life... regarding to your family and work... So, I found that life is beautiful. For me, I couldn't imagine this would happen to me.

For me... If I'm with someone, I can't stay away from him. Got it? So, life continued and... It's okay now. That already happened to me! I used to view divorce with surprise! I didn't think that this could happen to me, got it? I used to be surprised knowing that someone got a divorce! And that happened to me, so it's okay now, I get it! -And you moved on. -Yes, it's fine now!

-Let's go back in time. Describe Hana's childhood in 3 words. .سعادة-. ... .مسؤولية. -Okay. .وعدم استقرار-. .عدم استقرار، سعادة، ومسؤولية-. Good! ... -Why responsibility? -I will tell you. Because... My childhood was very happy.

Even mom always treated us like children! When you see children now, you don't think of them as kids. We used to wear children's clothes and play on the swings... Me and my sisters, we are 3. We used to wear children's clothes and we used to wear like each other. You know siblings who wear the same clothes but in different colors? We used to be like that. We truly lived our childhood! So for me, I'm really satisfied with my childhood, but... there was... When I was... 12 or 11 years old, mom divorced my father... So, mom had to... I was living with my mom and all my siblings!

So, I had a responsibility as I was like a second mother... for my younger siblings. For example... I was really good in school... but I wasn't good just to be good... but because I didn't want to upset her. Got it? I don't want to get bad grades and make her upset... My mom is already dealing with other worries, so I don't want to burden her with mine. You know! I wanted my sisters to be good... If one of them is sad, I'd tell her not to. tell mom but to tell me instead, because mom... has another problem. Do you know that feeling?

I was really young to do that! Who is 11 or 12 has different interests. For example, I remember that we moved from our house and we were with mom... So, mom in the beginning... She got married... after that. I had a stepfather! There was a time when we didn't have a father. So, my mom was... I was afraid to ask her for something related to money, as I knew she might not be able to do it.

For example, telling her that I need something... What I used to ask my dad for, sometimes, I felt like I couldn't ask my mom for. Although I could ask for it but I didn't do that. It's better to get something else. You know! For example, Farah or Nour used to ask me for something... and I used to tell them not to ask mom... because she has other worries. They were kids! For example, Nour was 3 years old when they got divorced! So, I had a big responsibility towards mom, which is not to burden her with worries bigger than hers... Before her second marriage. So, I used to feel like I'm a second mother! and that happens until now by the way!

That's it so, it was a big responsibility since I was young. For example, in school... I didn't like to cause problems... when anything goes wrong... I didn't like sitting in the back of the class, I used to sit in the front, because I was outstanding. Although I'm funny! I want to joke with the ones who sit in the back but I don't want to... get called in by the school... I don't want to make her upset more because she is already upset. She has other problems to deal with so I don't want to upset her. -Got it? -Yes. -But from the inside, I have these 2 personalities.

I have these characters.... I wanted to sit in the back of the class but at the same time I had to sit in the front because I don't want to... I have to study... although, she never asked me to! But I used to study on my own! I was one of the top student in school and in university as well. And the responsibility stayed with me until she got married. The stepfather... isn't like the father! You would be embarrassed to ask him for something. Got it? Although he was a great father but... he is your stepfather, got it. So, you don't want to ask him for many things...

Or for example, outings... I didn't go out much! It was my mom who had to take me on outings, I didn't ask them to travel or anything like that. I used to stay at home. Even in summer, people go to Al-Sahel... When I was young... Al-Sahel was there but I didn't use to go there. Or maybe just only once from time to time... But I was embarrassed to ask that. You know! My stepfather did his best and paid the school tuition. Why should I ask him to take me out? You know! I was like that.

So, I was responsible. Till now. -You said instability. -Yes, of course! -Why? -Because we moved from our house, of course... when I was so young... When you have a father... and then you have a stepfather... Although my stepfather was amazing! I'm really grateful to him. -May God bless his soul. -His name was Talat? -Yes, Talat Zakaria, God bless his soul! I am very grateful that God blessed us with that person, but... I feel that there was instability!

Having a father and then suddenly... having another person you call him daddy! So, it was hard for me in the beginning. I couldn't say it! You know! I can't call him uncle too, because he was not! So, that was hard for me... and for my siblings as well. And... that's it! It was a little hard! There was instability since I was young.

Even home. As I said, I love things... I love home, my bed, and my belongings... so, when we moved... for a child whose life has changed, his father is absent... isn't present at all... and has a stepfather... So, there was instability as well! So much! And my younger sister Nour, for example... ... She was 3 years old when my parents got divorced...

and... she doesn't know what I experienced with my dad. She can't remember! She can't remember dad so much because She hadn't created memories back then... So, for me, she is at peace more than me! You know! She didn't experience that so she don't know its feeling! I experienced that until I was 11 only. But I feel that this is a nice thing because it made me responsible! The hardship led to a blessing, which is that I became responsible... and I loved being that way.

-Everything... You know, Hana, that we as humans... tend to see things as either black and white, beautiful or ugly, good or bad... We as humans love to separate things... We see everything in black and white... but everything in life is gray... and the shades of gray. Everything! Because of this shock that happened to you, you have become responsible. But did some things complicate you? Yes, for sure! Didn't some things complicate you? Yes, for sure! Is your perspective the same? Did you long for the presence of a father? Yes, for sure!

There is nothing unified! What I'm trying to say is that there are positives and negatives. -Yes, for sure! -But people feel pity for you because your parents divorced when you were young. -They feel pity. -They only see the negative side! Okay, there is a negative side... -But there is a positive side. -Yes, there is! -So, you told me that until you were 12, your father... -His name is Adel right? -Yes. He was present. -Yes, he was present. -Do you have memories with him? -Yes, of course, I have many memories with him. -Okay. How was your relationship with him and with mom?

-It was a very good relationship. They got divorced in a very respectful and dignified manner. And... They felt that they weren't suitable for each other... So, they got divorced respectfully. Even the memories I have are good. By the way, good memories hurt more... than bad memories. They hurt! That's it! -How is your relationship with him after divorce? -After divorce? He didn't use to contact me a lot... He would ask about me, but only occasionally. He has another family...

and he is busy with them... So, the first time he called me for a long conversation, I was really happy because of this call! He was supporting me so much... and told me that this is better for me... and... he wishes me... He said things a father would say. I had missed those words, so I was happy. I told him that this call is enough for me! -When was it? -After the divorce directly! -Okay, after it. -Did you both stay in touch after that, or was he busy?

-We stayed in touch, but I didn't use to see him daily... I used to see him from time to time. -Do you feel that the absence of the father... at a crucial age... As you said, that Nour... lived only one life! -There was no contrast! -Exactly! -But you lived through both circumstances. You are a scapegoat because I feel... -Even in school, I was the one who everything was tried on...

Like making me enter an American school to see whether I will be good at it or not! -You are the older among your siblings? -Yes, I'm! -That's the reason! -Exactly. -Hana always is the one who... -Is that absence or contrast that happened... affected you so much? The absence of a father when you were 12, 13, or 14... -Yes. -It's a crucial age! -Although... my stepfather, may God bless his soul, tried to fill the gap left by my father... and he did, but not perfectly! It will never be 100 percent! It can be 80 or 70 percent... There comes a time when you are embarrassed...

to ask something from him. You know! But if he is your father, you can ask him anything! I wanted to do that! Like telling him that I want to travel like my friends... But I couldn't do that with him! My stepfather was a very nice person, did everything to us, and he was so sweet... You can't ask him for too many things. -Yes. -So, as I said, I used to feel... My mindset was more mature than my age! -Of course. -My mindset was more mature than my age. People think that my mindset isn't matured and that I'm cute... No! My mindset was more mature than my age. I was like a second mother!

-Sometimes, when there is a single mom... a divorced mother or a divorced father, the child automatically adopts... the role of the spouse. You were like a father... -you weren't a second mother! -Really? Yes, You had a sense of responsibility! -Who has the sense of responsibility in general in any family? -The father. -Yes, the father. -So, you as Hana... When the father was absent... Even without your mother asking, automatically you said that...

you have to be responsible, you must work hard, and you have to take care of your siblings. So, you are taking the role of the husband! Maybe. I have just realised that! Yes, maybe! Like wanting everything to be perfect. -This is a burden, a weight, and a load... on a child! Because the child should only be a child. -Yes! I'm telling you that my childhood was happy... but it had... It was happy but I used to do things bigger than my age. -True. -Even if it's a feeling, you know.

Why do I always have a feeling of... that we can't do something because... I always think about it, you know! Not about money only, but about everything. About my mother, my mom's feeling, and my sister's feeling... Nour for example... I will tell you something... I don't know if I can say that or not but Nour... we were once in a car, on our way to meet our dad. She was around 6 or 7 years old. She was sitting in the front seat of the car and mom was beside her...

and we were on the way to have lunch with him. That day made a huge difference in my life, I'll tell you why. Nour was sitting... and started saying that we will have lunch with dad... and mom was married at that time... and I told her "Yes". He parked the car and was coming... and mom told me to get out of the car because dad has arrived. So, Nour... looked and said "Is he this one?". He wasn't dad... I told her: "That one isn't our dad... and dad is the one behind him.".

So, that day... Nour is my weakness... Since that day! So, I felt sorry for her, honestly. -Why? -Because of that! -Explain more! -Explain to me, why that point... -She doesn't know her father!

That's why Nour is my weakness! She is grown up now, by the way! Nour is 24 years old. But for me, she is... my daughter! That's it! Sorry!

-That's why I see that... your sisters are your daughters. You know! If you took... not only the role of the older sister but the role of... the father of the second mother, for example... -I want just to say something... because I don't want the matter to be bad! This isn't my father fault... She was young and she didn't know. -Of course! I mean, she... -She didn't know him because she didn't live with him. -The father is a stranger to her!

-She wasn't very familiar with him, so she was confused by his appearance! -We don't want him to be upset. -We hope he won't. I'm a divorced person and you are the same... Adel is divorced... -Yes, all of them. -Your mom's name is Shireen, right? -Yes, Shireen. -All of us are divorced. We all should know that there is a cost to divorce. -There is a cost to it! -Of course! -If there are children, they will be affected in whatever place... A person should not be oblivious and say that his children are not... Thank God that I see my children thriving...

in the best-case scenario of a divorce. I see that personally, because... their mom is an artist and amazing... and I feel that there is companionship, gentleness, kindness, and each one respect and appreciate the other... So, I feel that my children aren't affected so much! But, can I dare to say that... they aren't affected at all? No. -Of course, they are affected. -Of course! -Even if you are... If there are good terms between you... and everything is okay,

they will be affected as well. -They will miss their father. -That's normal. I remember that when my children used to draw a picture of the house in school, they would draw 2 houses! -Oh, sweethearts! -They didn't draw a picture of a one house which has a father and a mother, so... they saw that all children in school draw only one house... why should they draw 2 houses! But I always talked to them in a positive way... I used to tell them that at least, we are friends... and friendship is the highest form of relationships. besides that, I appreciate their mother so much... and they have 2 houses now!

So, when you are bored come to my house anytime! -So, I made it... -You made it funny. -Yes, I don't ignore the issue... but I talk in a positive way about it. -Yes, mom used to tell us that... She used to tell us not to be upset and that we have 2 fathers... and if we are upset with one of them, we can go to the other! -True! -She used to always make us laugh... Mom is naturally cheerful... So, she used to tell us that. She used to deal with that in a very relaxed way. -Your mom was ill right?

-Yes. -And has recovered, thank God! -Yes, thank God! -How her illness affected you? ... -I knew that during shooting... they told me that my mom was ill... She had done some tests, and the results weren't good... that day was so bad for me. It's one of the worst days in my whole life! That my mom was ill and... -For me, mom is a father and a mother! -Of course! -It's like telling me that both of my parents are ill! The shock was double!

So, I was very scared and... and... I said that my mother is the only one I have in this world... as I'm a person who... loves her family so much! For me, my family is the most important thing for me! I don't care about friends or life... The most important ones are my mom and my sisters only. and then comes the rest of the people! -Sorry, I have a really bad cold. -No worries! -Sorry, I told you that before the episode... Why did you make me cry? -You are fighting for the interview!

We appreciate the resistance! I'm fighting so much now! I have a terrible cold. That's it! Of course, it was a very bad day for me... -and for my family! -In what year did that happen? -In 2020! -How is she now? Thank God, she is better and she is on medication... and everything is fine. -I hope she will always be fine. -Thank God! -Talat, may God bless his soul, passed away at a young age... -He was 59! -Yes. -He was so young! -Very much! -As for the average age in this time...

In America, the average life expectancy is... 76 years. -Really? -Yes. .معدل الوفاة في أمريكا هو ستة وسبعون عاماً. Although they have so much junk food! It's higher in Japan... I don't know the statistics related to this in the Arab world... -But 59 years old is a young age. -Yes, he was young, may God bless his soul. -Has that affected you so much because he was your second father? -So much! As if my real father was the one who passed away!

-Did you use to see him as a father? -Yes. -Did you call him dad? -Yes, I did. It's as if my father was the one who passed away! That day was... Even my ex-husband... He asked me why am I so sad like that! I couldn't explain to him! He wasn't just my stepfather... I used to tell him things that I didn't tell to my mom... Sometimes, I used to tell him things because I was afraid to tell mom. When I was 14... During my teenage years. I didn’t know if my mom would accept that I loved someone or not...

I used to tell him those things because he won't be angry with me... -You know! That was my trick! -He won't be angry with me. -You are smart! -Because I'm not his daughter Omima... If his daughter was in that situation, he would be angry with her. He won't be angry with me. So, I decide not to tell mom and tell him to see his reaction... Like telling him that I have a crush on someone so... my relationship with him is so strong. He knew things my mom didn't know about my life. So, I was deeply affected by his death...

and everyone was surprised why was I so sad! Yes, I was sad! He lived with us for 14 years... in the same home... -14 years is a long time. هل كان رجل جيد؟-. -What? هل كان رجل جيد؟-. -Yes? -Really? -So much! -Thank God! -So much! -That's why... So, God truly compensates! I feel that God... truly compensates! God compensated us all with a wonderful man! May God bless his soul!

His family is so beautiful and I love his children so much! -Good! -You know that I thought about something... You mentioned instability... -Sorry that I using too much tissues! -Take them all! You said that instability... Do you know what I linked? Instability during your childhood... after the divorce of your mom and dad... -The shock that happened in your life... -Yes.

-That's why... you were so sad for a year and a half after your divorce. -So much! -It caused you the same shock! -Yes, exactly! You have just explained it very well! -That’s a trauma in my life! -It returned! -But related to me! A trauma happened to my mom... and all of us were shocked... and maybe my sisters were shocked... But I felt that more because I was older than them. I remember big things that used to happen...

For example... Putting food in the lunch box, for example... she used to tell me what we won't put and what we will put... I knew why mom was doing that... Because she wasn't financially stable because she was on her own, back then... Mom was the kind of person who... used to arrange the food in my lunch box... and everyone used to eat from my food... So, it was reduced... and not the same when... I knew why she was doing that... I used to tell her that it was better...

The case wasn't the same with my sisters, as they were young... You know! It was a really silly thing. -It's not silly! -But it affected me so much, you know! So, I experienced trauma... I felt like this trauma is going to happen to me... the one I had in my childhood, so.... the situation was bigger than me... marriage was a big thing for me and it wasn't easy! That's why I was sad for a year! Not after the divorce but during the process! I knew that it was about to end...

I didn't want to experience that process... because my mom experienced it... and I suffered from it! I really suffered! I tried not to suffer but from the inside, I was suffering! but I didn't say so! But it's okay to say that now, because mom won't be upset, I am all grown up now... -So, it's okay. -True. -That's it! Don't forget that you said that you are helping other families... You increase their awareness, understanding, ... and understanding what happens for children in the house after the divorce.

Maybe now, we see another family... and their girl took Hana's role... and took the responsibility... so, the mother after watching this interview, would tell. her: "You aren't responsible for anything sweetheart". -It's okay, that's it. -Yes. -Exactly! -So, you helped another family. The mother starts to realise that her daughter is responsible for many things... -And why she agrees on things and see that I do... -Why is she being so hard on herself? -Rest and if you want to sit in the back of the class, do it! -I wished that I could so... but I didn't! -Because of pressure and that you had responsibilities... -She did not burden me with those responsibilities! -Yes, I know that you are the one who did that.

-Yes, I'm the one who did that. So, my mindset matured when I was young, that's why I am telling you that... People always ask why I... get attracted to a man who is a little older than me... Because my mindset is more mature than my age! -That's true! -My mindset is more mature! My ex-husband... was 14 years older than me! .أنتِ تبحثين عن شخصية أب أيضًا-. .أجل-. -But not only a father... -He has to be responsible... Look, there is a book which I talk about a lot...

-I will send you a copy. Do you read or not? -No, I do read, but... -Do you want a French or an English copy? -English. -Okay, I will send you an English copy. The book is amazing! I mean... It talks about many things so, I will summarize it. It talks about the 5 wounds we experience as children... and every wound we experience in our childhood... What is the mask for the ego... that we need to wear... to protect ourselves from that wound. For example... You... Not so much but...

-when you have some wounds... -Okay. you start seeing their characteristics and relate them to your wounds! I mean... !أحدهم هو التخلي. whose parents were busy, immigrated, got divorced, broke up, or died... That person feels abandonment! The mask related to abandonment... The mask of the ego... !هو الاعتمادية. !يصبح متعلق بشكل متبادل In love, you... When you reached... -In the beginning, you don't love... -So much! You are tough... -and you don't trust anyone with your heart... -When I love...

and when you love someone... -He becomes all my life! -Yes. -And that's the thing that makes... Look, in your mindset and the mindset of anyone... who has been hurt by that wound... The mindset says that... The more you hold on to the person you love, the less likely they will leave you! Although this mindset is what makes him leave you! -Really? -We think as... ...إذا كنا أطفال تم التخلي عنا. ...فإننا نظن. ...إذا تمسكت بهذا الشخص بقدر الإمكان.

...وأكون بمثابة حياته. ...ونمارس الهوايات معاً. and all of that... Then, it's impossible that he can leave me! This is the reason why he leaves you! Because you make him feel suffocated! You do this with a pure intention... but this intention leads to this. -Maybe! -You have to read it! -You have to send it to me. -It's amazing. -Everyone has 2 wounds at most. -I take responsibility... but when I'm with someone I love, I don't take any responsibility at all!

-Because you can finally rest! -I feel that... It's like I'm talking to myself... and ask him what to do. I don't like to be... I was always the one holding the reins of things for myself... -Because you became tired, Hana! -Yes. -You are tired since you were 12 years old! -Enough for you! -I want the person I love to be... responsible for me! So much! -If you weren't Hana and saw Hana walking, what would be your impression of her? And you don't know her.

She is just a person who is walking. -When she is young or grown up? -Grown up, now! -I would say that she is so cute! She look kind and cute. -Do you feel that people understand you correctly or misunderstand you? -They misunderstand me! -Really! -People say that I'm kind and spoiled. -Okay. -I am not. -You aren't spoiled? -No! -Okay. I don't know it but what is people's impression of you? I asked no one! I'm asking you! -They always say that...

I'm pretty and kind... Okay, that's fine, but I'm not spoiled! They say that I'm Barbie and... You know these things? No, at all! -Do they think that they see you are spoiled because you... have been responsible all your life and you need to be pampered? -No, people might don't know that about my life... that I was... These things were in my childhood and it's the first time to talk about my childhood... But... People... they don't have a wrong impression of me...

It's correct but incomplete! -Today, we will highlight that! -It's correct but incomplete! -Do you love fame? ... -I did in the beginning. But now, no! -Why? -I love my work... I don't love what surrounds my work! You know! I love acting... But I don't love fame! I mean... But that's part of my work. So, I have to be satisfied with that.

But I wished, for example... to go out in normal days... and don't take pictures with anyone... I'm not arrogant... But I want to be like normal people! I want to eat and make a mess... and yell at someone... I don't want people to say that I'm arrogant... I'm a human being, too! I have anger and... sometimes, I can be broken, sad, or don't want to talk to anyone... I'm a human! But when someone wants to take a picture with you,

you might have a problem now... and tell the person that you can't take a picture now... and they would be upset! Do you understand that? From the inside, I feel that I want to be a normal person! Not an actress! Because from the inside, I'm a human and I can't be... I love my work so much! And I love acting so much but I don't love... I loved fame in the beginning... But after a while, you feel that... there is no privacy or...

even if your partner isn't an actor, -he will get bored. -Yes. -You know! -True. -He will hate it. He can endure and be happy for me... but from the inside, he needs some privacy with me, talk to me, not wanting people to look at us, and be comfortable. So, I used to love it, but now I don't... Sometimes, I hope not to be famous... That's why we travel a lot and go to many places. To be...

To go out freely! -What is the most important thing in marriage? -Stability! -Nice. -And safety! -And what about the hardest thing? -The hardest thing! The... Apathy! -What do you mean? -Not coldness, but... you know when feelings start to fade away? -When it fades? -Yes. It's so bad. It becomes a really bad life... has no feelings and very bad.

-How can a person makes it continue? By nature, the thing... we say that your love for anything new is intense! -Your love for anything new is intense, right? -Yes. -The new car, the new bag, or the new house... -You would be impressed in the beginning. -But... -naturally, that... -You get used to it. dopamine and feelings fades away! Okay, how can we make it... This is a question for me and you... how can we keep... relationships vibrant, lively, and passionate...

even after 2 or 5 years! How? -They will start talking about doing new things and... I feel that who truly loves... He loves your spirit! He won't be bored! I feel... No! Will renewal mean that we travel and so on? No! -I didn't mention renewal, I am saying... if there is no renewals, how can a person keep those feelings healthy and continious... -and not get bored by time? -He should be honest!

I feel that the person should be honest... When he wants to leave the relationship, he shall say it! He shall say it! He should be honest and sincere. ... We have to tell each other everything! I shouldn't hide something from him, so he won't get upset... No, I have to tell him. When you are upset because of something, you have to say it! Because when you keep that inside, you will explode. and when you explode, you both will argue... and life will be bad!

Say what you are upset from or... I feel that honesty... and who truly loves... The one who truly loves will never get bored of the one he loves! -I don't know! I feel that people... don't understand that marriage is like a project... It needs work, diligently, and investment. -And you have to understand... -Your love for her isn't enough! -And there shouldn't be selfishness... and there must be understanding! You have to understand your partner so much and they understand you. They have to be so honest and loyal.

There shouldn't be... many things in marriage... There shouldn't be cheating in any form, even if... it's not cheating... If you are bored, go and tell her. But don't cheat on her. You know! Tell her that you are bored... and that you want her to change things... and she should tell him the same thing... that she doesn't like him when... You know that some women like it when a man gets jealous over them?

-Of course! If there isn't jealousy, then it's strange! -Boring! -Yes. -Boring. -But that's a disease! The person should know the reason why they love that thing. Why they love drama and love the person to be jealous over them... -That's not healthy! -These are the nice things about love. But not severe jealousy... Jealousy is nice... when you are jealous over the girl you love... That makes the woman happy! -There is a normal jealousy and a toxic jealousy! -Some people have indifference, not jealousy!

-This is a bad thing. -True. -So much! He has to be jealous over me! He has to make me feel... Safety is so important as well! To sleep and know that... trusting your partner and knowing that they won't fail you, is a very nice thing. -You know which clip that went viral... I said it in English but I love to say it in Arabic... I was telling a guest that... I learned something...

I asked her if she wants to know if she is in a healthy relationship or not... She said yes... I told her that she has to know what does her nervous system feels when she is with him. The nervous system... Not chemistry, excitement, or attraction. No, these things are easy to find!. You can find a handsome person or anything like that... There is attraction and chemistry... Your nervous system when You are with him... Is there safety? You used the word safety as an example... Is there safety or you can't sleep well?

-True! -Is there anxiety? -True! -Like wondring, what is he doing? Why does he reply to messages sometimes and not reply other times? -True! -All of that... and being afraid of telling him anything to avoid making him upset. !هذا كله سيء. -Safety is the best thing about love. You feel that you are... covered! You know that your partner won't hurt you... and will understand you. No matter what you did, you know that deep down he sees you in the right way . You know!

If you... caused many troubles, he won't focus on that! He knows that you are kind from the inside... and... He will scold you... But inside, there is safety! Safety is the best thing about love! -It's not easy to be reached! -And you sleep peacefully... you sleep on... You would be alone at night... you are on your own... he can be outside... and knows that... -He won't fail you! -Never!

-True! No, safety is... It's hard to find this safety during this time. -Because social media is a buffet. It causes many problems! When someone is bored, he starts to send messages. They destroy everything! There are many choices now, so the weak person... -The weak one, yes. -And the person... not only the weak one... Okay, it's right, let's continue with the word weak. But the limited person...

and sees that his partner fulfills every desire and craving. That is a weak person. But the person says... She is my colleague, my lover, my wife, and my life partner... the woman endured me in my bad times! Should I talk to another woman over her! Who even is she! Why should I play this role and cheat on... a woman that stayed with me for 6 years! She has to endure you during your bad times... Let's say that there is a period where you are upset with each other.

-Exactly! -It's normal that you are upset with each other. You are devastated and says that she doesn't appreciate you... Okay then... ...خذ خطوة للوراء. Did this woman stand by you... in good and bad situations? Should you send a message to a woman who doesn't deserve anything? You send her a message... and destroy 20 or 10 years you spent with another person! If you are ready to do that, you shouldn't be in this marriage! -True! -You should say "It's over!" -Yes, it's over for me!

-True! -Instead of breaking her heart! -True! Breaking someone's heart is a very bad thing! -A woman once wrote something on social media, she said... that... "When you lie to a person, you are not just hurting them and they feel betrayed... their respect for you is gone... and that's hard to make it back!". -Exactly! -Because I lied... -I said it to your face! -You lose respect for him. -It's over and you can't respect them again. -Yes, you can't!

They lost your respect. -So much! -It's hard. So much! -What have you learned about Hana after marriage? -About me, Hana! I discovered that my heart... I have to protect it! So much! And it will be so hard for someone to enter my life! So much! Because... Do you know when your heart gets really broken?

That's what happened to me. And I fixed it on my own... and keep in my mind that my family also... helped me during the process... They helped me to regain my strength again! But when you sleep at night, you become alone! You will look okay in front of them... and you will be happy when you are with them because you are really happy. But when you are alone... my heart was broken!

So, no! I am protecting my heart so much and no one will enter my life but... he has to be... I should know that he is the right one for me. And this is not the measure, I can be wrong! But it's hard to enter my life. -You have become disillusioned! -No, at all! This is the happiest period in my life. -No, you have become disillusioned with giving your heart to anyone. -Yes. -It's hard. -So much. Because it's so hard for anyone to enter my life.

-That's why I told you when I was analyzing the trauma... I told you that it's hard for you to give your heart to someone... but if you did, you would give it all! -Yes, I will give him all my heart! -Yes. I fall in love with all my being! It's hard for me to be like before... I have to focus so much and... I don't know! During this period... I'm focusing on Hana. Only Hana. Making Hana happy and content...

I will do everything Hana wants! She can do whatever she wants and refuses whatever she dislikes. Anything I wanted to do, I do it now! You know! Even things I didn't use to do. -Did you forget about Hana during the relationship? -Yes, I did. -This is not a good sign! I wasn't neglecting myself, but I was giving priority to my partner more than myself. My partner was the top after God! -That's not always wrong! Sometimes, one should prioritize the one he loves, but also has to include himself.

-As you said, you give a lot... I did give a lot! Even with people... the character of Hana... Not only in the context of love... my character was so different from now. I mean... Yesterday. I was upset... If I was the old Hana and upset with a woman... A woman here with you, for example... In the past, Hana wouldn't say anything! I would say that this is work and I don't have to be upset with anyone...

I would say that everything is okay and move on... but yesterday... ...بشكل صريح. I refused many things! I wasn't like that before! I used to avoid confronting people and never upset anyone around me. I never liked anyone to be upset with me... and it was okay for me to be upset. You know that feeling! Yesterday, I could be upset. But no... I yelled at the one who made me upset! I wasn't like that before.

I used to... I have become free now. Everyone is against me so, I'm done with that! For what cost? If I'm upset from something, I will say it out loud. I will say no. If I don't like something, I will say no. I used to say yes, even if I don't want to do that thing! But now, I say no! I didn't use to say no all my life. I rarely used to say no! Just to please the person I'm with. Why wouldn't I please myself! -And that was at Hana's cost! -So much!

I mean... I felt that change... -Red. -Red? -The red card. -What do you mean? -I have nice questions for you. -No, you are lying! -I have nice questions! -Those are quick questions. -Okay. -Okay. Good! You are 3 sisters, right? What annoys you about Farah? -One thing that annoys you... -Farah... has a strong personality... and she use her mind! I use my heart, so we are the opposite.

She always gets upset with me about things and tells me that I have to do a certain thing... and I use my heart... so, we always clash! -And Nour? -Nour is so reasonable! -What annoys you about her? -Shall I say? -Yes! She's so focused on herself... that she doesn't give me any attention when I'm talking, and it annoys me so much! She is so focused on herself. -This is a straightforward answer! -Yes. -What do you like about Farah?

One thing. ... -Her kindness. She is too kind. -What about Nour? -She is wise. -Okay. Do you see yourself pretty? -Yes, thank God! -Can you go out without makeup? -Yes. -Is it okay? -Yes, it's okay! -Okay. What attracts you the most in a man? -His character. His charisma... When he enters a place, I know... You know that when I see someone, I can tell if I'll like him or not!

-Really! -So, do you believe in love at first sight? -Yes. -Why do every Egyptian guest say that? -But people say that this isn't love, but admirarion. Sometimes someone would steal your heart right away. -True, but is that considered love? Or admiration? -All men I loved, I loved them from the first sight! -Wow! -Not deep love! -I understand. -That sparkle which happens... and you know for a fact if you can love that person or not.

It's admiration but... in a different way. You can admire the appearance of many people... but there is something special in the character... The eye and the stand... from that you know if you would love that person. -Egyptians are true lovers! -All of you love love! -Yes, so much! ... -Okay. -You will go out with your lover... -Okay. -But you can't spend more than 20 dollars... Where would you like to go?

-Drink something... Juice or anything in the car... -In the car? -Yes. -Will you listen to some music? -We will go for a ride and drink something. -Nice. Okay. You found your dream guy... he brought you safety, stability, and everything you asked for... now exist. -But he asks you one thing... -What is it? -All the videos and pictures... related to your older marriage or any serious relationship...

should be deleted from any phone. -I already did that! -She finished that matter already. Don't you keep them? -You are not keeping anything? -No. -Even after marriage, you deleted everything? -Yes, of course, I have to delete all these things. !حقاً-. -You don't like to remember outings and travels? -Why should I keep these pictures? -So, you agree on that? -I will tell him that I did that already! -You don't have them already? -I don't! -Do you agree on that logic about deleting the pictures if he asked you? -Yes, of course! -Why should I keep these pictures?

-Personally, I see that... I was asked that question... and told them that... I don't think that the person has the right to... command or impose... to delete these pictures in order to be with you. -There is a difference when he says that... If he asks that from me, I will do it! -The condition for us to remain lovers, is that you have to delete everything. I don't like these conditions! -If I didn't do that, he wouldn't be my lover? -Yes. -He will be upset. -He won't impose conditions on me!

I don't like these conditions. If he asked me that, I would do it because that's normal! But if he imposes conditions on me and threatens me that he won't continue.... -Or gets upset... -You are making the fate of our relationship dependent on pictures! -I made a modification to the answer... I told them that If I'm with... If my phone... The existing of the pictures of my ex-wife isn't a good thing... Okay, I agree... that these memories might appear at the middle of a dinner, for example...

like the pictures of you with your ex-wife... -Okay, I agree with that... But if you have on the computer... pictures of someone you loved and you spent wonderful moments together... I don't think that I have the right to tell you to delete these pictures... -I wouldn't see those pictures... -Got you! I can tell you not to keep them on your phone... But you have pictures together on your laptop... because you were married to that person for a couple of years... I don't see that I have the right to tell her to delete the pictures she has with her ex-husband. -I feel that's unnecessary. -He shouldn't impose conditions on me!

-It's a shame for him to do that. -It's a personal thing. -If you show him these pictures all the time, okay, that's a problem! But if the person doesn't see those pictures, it's okay. ... -Okay, what is the trait or a habit you don't like in yourself? ... -Irritability... !مؤخراً. -Since when? -I’ve been irritable for 2 or 3 years.

I get irritable over trivial things! -You revenge because you kept things inside of you... -Really? -since you were 12! -I will tell you something... I get irritable over trivial things... -Shall I say them? -Go ahead! It could be something trivial that someone did, and it's not worth getting irritable over. Like putting something in the wrong place... that makes me irritable... and then I apologizes. As if nothing happened. Irritability without any reason. But I don't get irritable over serious things!

I don't get irritable over serious things... But I get irritable over trivial things. -That's why, they say in English... ."أنتِ كنتِ شخص يسعي لإرضاء الآخرين". All your life, you try to please people at your own expense. And you kept things inside you at the expense of Hana... Now, you have reached that new stage... and you don't care about anyone! -I apologize after doing that! -You are breathing now. -I do apologize in the end. -If I bothered anyone, I would apologize. -I will tell you something that might help you.

-What is it? -This is a wonderful quote! "What annoys you, reflects your worth as a person!". -Is that related to trivial things? -Yes. -Every time you get irritable, remember what I said! -That's a nice thing! -I'm a very irritable person at work too! -Are you irritable? -At work... Anything I'm passionate about... Like football and work... Because I'm really passionate about that... and I want to excel in it, so I get irritable quickly!

This makes me easily irritated by anything! And then I say to myself that I can reach the same point. but from the inside, not at the expense of my feelings! -Until now! -You are the one who gets upset in the end. -I'm the one whose mood turns bad in the end. -You become upset for a while. -Why did I get irritable? -I'm trying to teach myself. -I am not saying that I have learned everything. -True. -I'm working on that now to stop myself from getting irritable over trivial things. This irritability has appeared recently... even mom tells me that I get irritable over trivial things! -Follow the role I have just said. -It's nice.

-You get irritable over... -It should be worthy! -Yes. -If you weren't Hana, would you be Hana's friend? -So much! I wish I had a friend like Hana! -Why? So much! -Why do you think that you are a good friend? -So much! -Why? I feel like I'm really supportive... My circle is so small... particular people are in it... so, those who are in it... they say that I'm very supportive and I'm always there for my friends! So much! I'm a good photographer as well... so, I wish I had a friend who takes good pictures.

I take great pictures of my friends, but no one takes good pictures of me! -No one takes good pictures of you! -Not at all! I wish I had a friend like me. -What do you have? Give me that. This is the card game. -Okay! -Are we 1 hour in? -Almost. -Okay, shuffles the cards. -This is the Egyptian word that I know. -What do you call it here? -Shuffling? -Yes. -Mixing.

-Mixing? -Yes. -This word is... -It's up to your luck, and we will see what you will get! Good, do you want to choose, or should I choose? -You choose and I will ask. -Okay. -Give me a card. -Okay. -I shouldn't look at it? -No. I asked you this one. In general, do you love... Next!

-What? -This question is nice! I will ask you the question and this is the way to answer. Throw it when you are about to answer. Okay? What is the biggest flaw in your parents... that you wish you could change? Or you wished to change it when you were a child. Throw the dice. Be open! -That means to say... What are the flaws your parents have that you wish you could change? In the past or now. -Regarding my mom...

... criticizes so much! Because of the pressure of criticism, I have to be perfect so I don't hear her criticism. She criticizes so much! ... That makes me sad from her. -When you used to sit in a certain way at home... -She always criticizes... even if you are perfect and she sees you, she will criticize something about your appearance, outfit, or manner... That too much criticism used to annoy me when I was young and still annoys me till now!

-And I tell her that! -What about Adel? ... -Yes, of course! There is... All of us have flaws! He doesn't show love! -He doesn't what? -He doesn't show love! -He can't express love? -No. -Until now? -I think, yes. Expressing love... he doesn't express love like us! Nour, Farah, me, and mom...

express love so much! In a great way. We are a very dramatic family when it comes to love and anger. We are like that! But... he doesn't have this quality. He... No, he doesn't show love. Do you get attracted to the man who doesn't know how to express his feelings? -No. -Okay! -Do men you fell in love with can express their feelings?

-Yes, of course! -Okay. -They have to express what they feel so much! -Does Talat used to express his feelings? -No. -Really! -He didn't use to express his feelings so much. But when it comes to the men who were in my life... he should express his feelings, I can't stay with someone who doesn't do that! -Haven't you fall in love after getting divorced? -Haven't I fall in love? -After the divorce. -No, I hope so! -God willing! -Because that gives me passion.

I don't want to rush things as well... that gives me passion in my life! So, I started getting that passion, not from love, but from Hana! -You know! -That's the right thing. -Yes, honestly. -That's the right thing. -What is the biggest fear in your life? The thing you fear the most. -I fear loss a lot. So much! My grandmother...

raised me, Farah, and Nour... She passed away in 2009. It was a day... Mom used to take us on Thursdays... to Nina, we used to call her Nina... we used to go to Nina... She used to take us to her and leave us there on Thursdays and Fridays. Because she lived beside "Shooting Club" in Dokki... So, we used to go to the club, train, and stay with her on Thursdays and Fridays. So, technically she was the one who raised us! When she passed away...

She had the same disease my mother had... My grandmother had it too. So, I wished I could build a hospital... that treats what they suffered from... which is breast cancer, I hope no one suffer from it! ... I was so depressed and felt that... my first mother passed away! As for me, my grandmother was like a mother! So, I worry a lot about my mother... and about my sisters so much.

So much! I can't imagine that I can lose them! I feel like my mom will live for the rest of my life! You know! I worry a lot about them.

I'm afraid that she will suffer from pain... Because I saw what she went through... So much! And I always pray to God to die before her! And my mom would say that would hurt her more! And she can't live with that! I can't imagine that my mom... I worry a lot about her. I talked to her before I came here... and told her that I'm on my way to Anas... !هي صديقتي المفضلة.

That's it! -She wishes to die before you! -Always! She told me "Don't ever pray for this again in your life". She got upset from me that day... and said she can't endure that! No, I always... I can't imagine that! Me and my sisters talk about that... we can't seem to accept that this could happen someday... because I can't imagine that at all! So, I worry about losing anyone I love.

Like my grandmother. For me, she was... my second mother! So, I worry a lot about my mother... and my sisters as well. -Do you know what is the scary thing, Hana? The anxiety... and obsession in your life... and... the obsession with fearing that something bad will happen to your mom, this steals the joy of being with them as long as they are here...

That steals the joy! -I enjoy being with them and they are my entire life. So, I always spend time with them... I enjoy being with them. -But I mean, when they are not with you, like now... You live in anxiety and don't like to imagine anything happens to them... when time passes normally, your mom will pass away while you are alive and my mother will pass away while I'm alive... If life went on in a normal way.

-The only thing... -That what scares me the most in my life! -The only thing we can ask for is... -that God grants them long lives... -I hope that! and that they do not pass away in a hard way... and to pass away while they are okay and to be easy for them.. We call it a journey... A journey... which is peaceful! I don't want to see my mom tired... or suffering... -Yes, she always tells me that. She tells me that she wants to pass away in good health! She doesn't like to depend on anyone.

She says that she wishes... to pass away in her bed without needing anyone... or even needing someone to give her a cup water! She always says that. -Enjoy her presence as much as you can. -I do that. -Until she passes away. I say that for me and for you. -Yes. -I swear. -I imagine that when I have children, I will worry about them so much. -Of course. -I will be over protective! I will be so strict with them and they do!

I think that I will be like that. -You know what's the funny thing about that? The control we try to have in order to manage people and protect... those we love... If we know how many... How many times a week, we were so close to death but we didn't know? You were walking in the street, and if you had been a minute late, something could have happened to you... If you had eaten something harmful, you could have been poisoned and died!

There are... How many times a day... we were close to death but we didn't know that? So, we want to control... I think that God says "What are you trying to do?". -God only controls everything! -Yes. We try to control life but we can't! -We can't do that. -What is meant to be, will be. -Of course! -The person should be careful but... I feel... as long as they are present and alive, stay happy! -I'm happy. -Some people don't have a mother, a father, or siblings...

You have 2 sisters. -Yes, they are my best friends. -You know, what a blessing we have! -Of course. -You have a family who loves you. -Some people don't have that thing. -This surprises me a lot! I can't imagine that! Like someone says that she doesn't stay with her mother... -Or she doesn't want to stay with her. -After we finish, call your mom! -I will tell her I did this, no! -Call her now and tell her... -Before I came her, I had talked to her and told her everything.

-Nice. -Not because of control, but out of love. -I understand. !هذا نابع من الحب-. -An overwhelming amount of love! -Yes. -What is the hardest phase or the hardest thing... you have got past on your own without helping from anyone? The hardest thing Hana experienced. -Divorce! -No one helped you? -They tried and they think that they know... They think that they are helping me that way...

but no one helped me except myself! ... An experience I wouldn't wish on anyone! It was so bad. ... I went through it alone. I was the one who decided that. -You decided to get divorced? -No, I decided to be okay! I wanted to be okay. I wanted to get past that and...

My mom's friends... were surprised by my divorce and started asking about what happened. That talk hurts so much! Of course, I didn't want it to end like that but... I went through it... and said that I want to make myself happy and to be okay. I want to forget what’s gone as if it never happened... I will tell you something... God is so merciful because he made me... I swear to God, Anas, I can't remember my memories with him! I can't remember them.

I can't remember anything as if they were wiped out! My memory has been wiped, and five years of my life have been erased! In the beginning, I was able to remember... I prayed that God makes me forget even the good memories. I didn't want to remember anything at all. And all my memories were wiped out! So, I could start a new life as if nothing happened. I can't remember that I was married! -Do you know that feeling? I ask myself if I was truly married! How did I live in someone's house for 4 years... and I can't remember these memories, I can't remember anything!

I feel that God blessed me by making me forget all that. !وأنا عملت بجِد على نفسي. So much! I used to train, do things, work, keep myself busy with things, and stay with people I love... I got past what I was going through... I imagined that this would take time from me... but I got past that so quickly! I didn't take much time! Some people get depressed because of that... but it didn't take me much time!

-Have you ever been depressed before? -Yes. -Many times? -I was depressed during the period I told you about.... There was a year when I was sad. -The... -Do you know that my face looked different? I looked at my pictures from that period and my face looked different! The look in my eyes was different and even my laugh was different! When I was going through the pictures from that period... That's not me at all! My hair was different! You know when everything in you look different? I was like that! At all!

Why did I look like that? What is worth making me depressed... to that extent? My pictures show that I was depressed! There were people who told me... Isaad Younis for example... told me that I look different in the pictures... No one knew anything back then. She told me that I look sad! And my eyes doesn't look normal. She told me that my eyes doesn't look normal. My eyes were filled with so much grief! I'm a cheerful person who loves laughing... and joking... I love inner peace...

I don't love pressure and... I love work to be peaceful... I was... There was a year... the time when... you are at home... and you gather your things and prepare yourself to leave... I was depressed for 8 or 9 months... ... until I got a divorce... It was very bad! I looked different. I wasn't Hana!

My heart was broken. I used to tell them that my heart is broken. !أنا حزينة جداً. Every part of me was sad! Even my hair was bad! You know! My hair looked bad all over, not just a strand... I looked different and I was sad! I was very sad! After that... I will tell you something... Once...

because of sadness... I was so sad... there was... I don't like arguments... I don't like confrontation when I'm upset... I try to move past many things. When there are a lot of arguments... and I don't know how to argue. I don't like to shout, argue, or yell at someone... -I believe that...

the internal state is reflected externally. If I'm comfortable from the inside... -Yes. -You will tell me that I look happy. -Exactly. -Cheerful. -Shining! -And if I don't have inner peace, -you will say that there is something wrong when you look at me. !أنت لست بخير- -There is something wrong with you. Even the people who love you, know that! They will say that there is something wrong about you. You will say that you are okay but they will continue saying that you aren't okay! And if you heard that from different people, that means there is something wrong!

This means that the energy you have, which people are used to, is no longer present. Even though you may look good and beautiful in movies and put makeup... But who truly knows you... and you know yourself! Who truly knows you, will say that there is something wrong. -You aren't okay. -There is something wrong with you. -There is something wrong and no one knows. No one knows when you are sad... but... I don't say that because my ex-husband was bad...

The experience was hard! You know! The experience was hard! The... The divorce experience was hard. -This is a very important point... When we talk about these things, we don't talk about... -A person. -About the person being good or bad... I say that there is incompatibility. If I would bring... 2 incompatible things together, there will be a spark and tension because they don’t align. They aren't one thing. You are trying to force them to fit together, but it doesn't work.

That causes anger! We have to be together but how that happens? Why did we use to argue and get upset with each other? That causes stress and anger... because there is no compatibility. That doesn't mean there is one right side and the other is wrong. -There doesn't have to be someone who is wrong. -There is no harmony or compatibility. -Exactly! -And when you forcefully try to fix it, It won't work. I read that... -What did you read? -a thing that you wrote under a picture... It's written in Egyptian dialect but I will try to read it.

I felt that these words are nice. It was under... the picture of... Talat... I think you wrote that by yourself. You wrote: "This is the last picture I took... at my wedding with my father, my love, and my support, the one I grew up with for years. I opened this picture for a while now and I want to tell you that... may God grant you entry to paradise... you are the kindest perosn ever! You raised three daughters as if you were their father, and even more.

I want to tell you that... I don't know the word 'father' except when I'm with you. I've never called anyone 'father' except you. I used to go to you... when I do anything wrong... so you could defend me... in front of my mom. I remember the first omelette... you told me to open a restaurant called 'بالهنا والشفا'. and gave me 100 pounds... to encourage me to cook.

You used to always tell me that I would become something great. You used to encourage me. You were so proud of me when I graduated and you cried that day! I've never felt that you're not my real father. I can't believe that I won't see you again... and tell you 'Zazy ya Zazy'... I hope you return to tell you how much we love you and that you are the greatest actor. I love you so much and I didn't know that I love you that much! I will miss you, the kindest person I've ever known in my life!".

Wow! -Yes. -Losing him was so hard, I never liked the feeling of loss! losing him was so hard for me! So much! I loved him so much. ... I used to tell him...

May God give my mom strength and patience as well. Because she suffered a lot after his death. I have made a mess with tissues! -It's okay! You wrote lovely words and that's why I read it... -I wrote this while I was crying! -Very nice words. There are many lessons to be learned. -He was... so sweet and used to tell me...

I hoped to open a restaurant called 'بالهنا والشفا', as in my name... He used to tell me to open the restaurant and he will buy from it... I used to enter... the kitchen... Wait a minute! I can't handle it! I used to enter the kitchen and make them omelette... and sell it in the house, no one was buying from me! He was the only one who used to buy from me, but he didn't eat it! And would tell me it's delicious! He used to eat what I cook...

The omelette tasted so bad, but he told me that it's delicious and gave me 100 pounds! I took the 100 pounds and closed the restaurant because no one would give me 100 pounds again! 100 pounds was a big amount of money back then! -You are saying that he wouldn't eat the omelette and give you 100 pounds? -I used to bring them food... I used to bring them water and take five pounds for it... and make a sandwich for 10 pounds... When he gave me 100 pounds, I closed the restaurant! -You achieved the target! -Yes. I won't get more money than that! He was so sweet, may God bless his soul.

So much! -How do you like people to remember you, Hana? -To remember that she was... a human... The... I don't know... That's a very hard question! It's really hard! That she is a great mother...

Even though I don't have kids yet... I wish to be remembered as a great mother, ... Very skilled at her work, a kind person, and a generous one... Not generous with money, but with feelings... I hope people would remember me like that. -Nice. This question is good because it shows what's important for the person. What values does they like to work on, so that people remember them... and what are the values that they appreciate and they are important for them... You love the person...

What are the things you just said? Kind, a good mother, What else? -Generous. -Generous, not only with money... -Generous with feelings. -You love the people who are like that. -This question is nice. Does that question show all that? -It does and shows that you tell Hana... to focus on these things because the legacy you will leave... -should be on these things. -Yes. -And you may give birth to a child after that. You may stumble upon a good man...

who brings you safety and stability... Where are you at? A lot of men will message you now! I am the one! ... Okay. If... After a long time, God willing... You, Hana... on your bed on the last day of your life... and your loved ones are around you like your children, your sisters, and... -mom if she is still alive... -Yes. -May God protect her. And all your loved ones are around you...

What is the important thing they have to hear from Hana before she passes away? -Oh my God! I will tell them how much I love them... and how much I will miss them... and to take care of each other... I want to make sure they're okay until the very last moment... and to look at them!

Like that! That's it! These questions are very hard! -That's why I ask them. I want to... I would look at them until the very last moment... and tell them to take care of each other and that I love them. That's it! Your questions are very difficult! -They are human questions. -So much! It really shows the kind of heart someone has! Human questions bring out a real human!

-So much! -Questions about movies and acting bring out an actress! -True! -Human questions bring out a real human. -But... that question is so hard to imagine! -It’s scary, but it’s nice. -Yes, I will miss them! I will tell them that! -The last question... Describe Hana in a word.

-Real. -Real? Thank you! !شكراً. -Thank you!